I woke up in my dorm room I got entirely to myself and stretched, heating up to about 1200 degrees Fahrenheit at the same time to soothe my muscles. "Okay then, time to start another irritating school day. I wonder how deep Ms. Nekonome is going to pry into the fascinating world of cats?" I said in an annoyed tone. I found out what I needed to, now I just wanted to leave get back to the gang, make out with Lady, piss off Nero, my average day-to-day. But I'm stuck here dealing with an annoying, whiney, dumbass human who's constantly pissing himself about being in a school for monsters and a sexy vampire who I can't touch and expect to keep my manhood who does more annoying friendship speeches than Tea from Yu-Gi-Oh. I walked out and bumped into Tsukune. "What's up today?" I asked.
"Nothing, just getting some water." He said.
We passed by two guys who were out of human form, then as I was about to walk out and leave Tsukune to his things, I noticed everyone except for me (Tsukune doesn't count because he IS human) was out of their human form. "Jeez, doesn't anyone know how to control their thing? If a teacher comes by and sees this, they'll be pissed." I said, walking away, going off to be a badass.
Later…
Tsukune was walking down a path to the school when the three guys behind him turned to see a certain someone. "Hey, check it out, it's her." The first one said.
"Oh, yeah, that new student, Moka." The next one said in a failing to be sly tone.
"She's so hot it should be illegal!" The last and most pathetic one said, clasping his hands together like a bitch, steam blowing out of his nose.
Moka was walking down the path towards them, humming a tone. Suddenly, she saw something and looked at their direction happily, walking forward. The three of them assumed she was looking at them and ran towards her, but she apparently teleported again, passed them and grabbed Tsukune's arm. "Morning! So nice to see you!" She said happily.
"Good morning to you, too, Moka!" He said happily as they walked away, much to the anger of the pathetic pervs.
"That bastard Tsukune! He doesn't look like much, but apparently he was tough enough to beat the crap out of that guy Saizou Komiya!" The first one said angrily.
(Who the hell said HE beat Saizou! That was mostly me being a badass and Moka finishing him off after I weakened him!)
"So, where's Sai?" She asked.
"I don't know. I saw him earlier, but then he left." He said uneasily.
"What's with you this morning?" She asked, looking at him closely, then taking his hand. "Let's go!" She said excitedly, rushing a bit.
The three of them began crying miserably, but then behind them, hiding behind a tree, was a certain someone, glaring mysteriously.
"So, Tsukune? I imagine you're feeling kinda lonely being surrounded by monsters." Moka said."So if you ever need anything, just ask. I'll help however I can." She said happily.
"Thank you." He said, looking at her admirably (Before anyone asks, yes. I am going to skip their stupid fawning over each other unless I'm around, in which case, I'm gonna attack Tsukune when that happens).
"It's too much. I overslept and didn't have time for breakfast." She said, collapsing into Tsukune a little.
"I've got you. What is it?" He asked (She just explained the problem, dummy).
"I'm sorry." She said, biting him and sucking his blood.
He panicked and ran around in little circles like a dumbass having an epileptic seizure, holding his neck, then looked at her. "You can't treat me like I'm your breakfast!" He said, running off.
"I'm sorry." She said, but too quietly for him to hear.
Meanwhile, at the pond in the woods…
I was relaxing in a tree after some kick-ass training, listening to "Make it Rain" By Lil' Wayne, making my own words in between the make it rain parts. "I'm fighting Monsterous terror, when the blood starts flowing, better get an umbrella!" *I make it rain, I make it rain* "You think that Nero is better, well this mofo'in' ninja's gonna show you the true face of terror!" *I make it rain, I make it rain* "Then you'll finally see, that Vergil's son is not a badass 'cuz that right belongs to me!" *I make it rain, I make it rain* "I'm the whole damn show! So go on, join Nero, 'cuz I'll see you in hell!" I finished. Suddenly, I heard some more bitchy whining. "Oh, here we go." I said, looking down to see Tsukune.
"It doesn't hurt that much and she doesn't leave a scar, but still there's no getting around the fact that Moka's a vampire." He said, checking his neck.
"She drank your blood again, huh?" I asked, spinning to the side, off of the branch and landing like Iron man would after dropping from the sky. "She can't help it. She's a vampire, she has to do that. She can't produce her own Hemoglobin, so she needs someone else's. Plus, she's new to having the real thing, so she's excited to try it as much as she can. It's like a kid when you give them a cookie; they just want more and more. Eventually, she'll probably get tired of it, though." I said, checking over my note cards quickly to see if the thing I said about the Hemoglobin was right. It was.
"I see. What if that other Moka is the real one, though?" He asked in fear.
"The sexier, more badass one, you mean? She is." I said.
"What?! How do you know?!" He asked, panicking.
"The Rosary seals her TRUE self. She even fucking said that right to our faces. Dumbass." I said, hitting him in the back of the head when I said "dumbass".
"Between her and the other students, how am I gonna make it in this scary-ass place!" He said, bawling like a baby.
"Calm down, your tears are getting on my trench coat." I said, wiping them off, backing up. "The other Moka's not trying to kill you; she's on your side. And I'm here, too. And while I don't like you, it's kind of my job to make sure monsters and demons don't hurt humans." I told him. (If I let that happen, Dante would kick my ass.) I thought.
Suddenly, we both heard something and looked over to see a blue-haired girl on the ground on her knees, holding her chest. "Please, help me!" She said.
Tsukune ran around and I jumped onto a floating branch in the water, then jumped to where she was, crouching a little to help her. "Are you okay?" I asked, Tsukune saying the same thing.
"It just hit me. I'm so dizzy." She said, looking up, revealing she was as beautiful as Moka at least. Not to mention she had GIANT boobies. "I'm sorry, but could you give me a hand." She asked.
"Of course." I said, helping her up. (This doesn't count as cheating. I'm just helping her up. Lady can't argue that, can she?) I thought.
I helped her up and she leaned into Tsukune a little bit, pressing her boobs into him, causing him to freak out again. "Is something wrong?" She asked.
"Um… No, nothing at all! Let's get you to the nurse's office." He said, turning her around in the right direction as I held onto her to keep her up.
We got to about the place we first were where Saizou threw Tsukune into a vending machine and I shot him through the heart. "I'm sorry to put you out like this, Sai. You too, Tsukune." She said politely, turning to face us.
"Don't mention it." Tsukune said nervously.
"Yeah, it's no problem. We weren't doing anything anyway." I said.
Suddenly, we both noticed something. "Wait, how do you know our names?" Tsukune asked.
The girl looked surprised for a minute, but then smiled and waved dismissively. "Oh, don't be silly. We are in the same class after all. In fact, you sit right in front of me, Sai." She said.
"Oh, yeah. I thought you looked familiar." I said.
Suddenly, there was a flashback back to when Tsukune dropped his book after learning the school was for monsters and Kurumu looked at him sneakily, then at me.
"See?" She asked Tsukune, looking at the flashback.
"See? What am I supposed to be seeing?" Tsukune asked.
"He can't break the fourth wall." I explained.
She started giggling, but then she fell, but luckily, I caught her. "You okay?" I asked.
"I'm sorry. It's because of this weird condition I have with my body. Every now and then my breasts sort of cramp up." She said.
"Your breasts!?" Tsukune panicked.
"Will you calm down? Honestly, any time something even close to sexual happens, you either get a nosebleed or start panicking." I told him.
"Yeah, my breasts, they just get all tight like they're being squeezed or something!" She said, rubbing them on my chest, which caused some weird bouncing noise.
(Life is good. As long as Lady doesn't find out about this.) I thought, keeping my hands behind my back.
"Sai? Tsukune?" She asked.
"Yes?" we asked.
"Look into my eyes." She said, lifting up her head. "Listen. My name is Kurumu Kurono. And I want you both to be my friends." She said.
Suddenly, I felt really dizzy and like I wasn't in my right mind, I felt off-place and like I was gonna pass out, like I was when I was absolutely beside myself in rage after the Ryu Hayabusa vs. Strider Hiryu Death Battle, except in this case I wasn't absolutely livid. Being her friend sounded like the best thing in the world.
"Oh, hell yeah, we can be friends!" I said, hugging her. (Wait, what the hell am I doing?! I just met her! This is crazy!) I thought, trying to stop myself, but it's like my body was moving without my mind telling it what to do.
"I'd love to be friends with you!" Tsukune said, also hugging her as I managed to regain myself, but only enough to let go.
"Tsukune, you're such a naughty boy!" She laughed as he now hugged her from behind, his hands close to her boobs.
(You can do this! You've dealt with things like this before, like when Nero gave you pot brownies, or when Trish spiked your drink at that party. Just think of something! Think of like what Lance is doing right now. Yeah, that's it! Think of that!) I thought, imagining of the hell my brother is probably getting himself into.
Somewhere at a Twilight convention…
There was no one in the room any longer who was not pointing an assault rifle at the ninja in the middle of the room, dressed in a light blue shirt with serpent dragons all over it and colorless silk sleeves, similar black pants and the ninja split toe shoes on, with a long katana on his back. "All I said was vampires don't sparkle." He said. The guns then fired, ripping him to shreds.
"All Twilight haters must die!" They cheered.
Suddenly, the bloody corpse started to reform until my brother was back to normal. "You done goofed." He said, drawing his sword and in a flash, killing all of them, except for one, who put a pistol in his mouth and pulled the trigger. "Pussed out like a bitch!" He laughed.
(Yeah, that sounds about right.) I thought. I was getting myself back more and more. There was only one thing I did know at the moment, this girl was bad news.
"Tsukune? Sai?" Moka's voice said. I finally snapped all the way out of it and looked at her, she looked confused and like she was being cheated on. "What's going on? Who is that?" She asked.
"Moka…" I said somewhat weakly, regaining myself (when you work one area, it's hard to work another. That and I'm assuming it'd be exhausting to break a mental hold on yourself).
"Who am I? I'm in their class, we're friends now." She said, looking at Tsukune, then at me. "Right, Stud muffin?" She asked.
(It's probably a good idea to keep away the fact I broke the charm.) I thought. "Yeah, of course we are, honey! Whatever floats your boat, Princess." I said energetically, but whispering that last part in a cold tone.
"Right. We're in the same class, babe." Tsukune said, hugging her tighter.
(I know he knows what's going on LESS than I do, but it's still pathetic he's not even trying to fight it.) I thought.
"Well, we should get going, guys. Because class is about to start." She said, using her charm on Tsukune again, then turned and used it on me.
(Godammit!) I thought. We started to walk off, me not being able to move my legs in the opposite direction. (I am going to tear the life out of her.) I thought.
"Wait, hold up, guys!" Moka said.
"No. I don't wanna wait for you. I'm tired of being used as a substitute for your breakfast." Tsukune said, shocking Moka and obviously hurting her feelings.
(Oh, that's just awful.) I thought, managing to rip myself free with that, wanting to make sure Moka was okay. I may act like a bad guy sometimes, but when you get to know me, I'm fairly sentimental and caring. I silently walked back, since she was now focused on Tsukune.
"How awful! To think she uses you for breakfast. Let's get out of here before she has you for lunch, too." She said.
"Yeah, that's a good idea." Tsukune said.
"Sorry about that, Moka. I can't believe I'm standing up for him, but it's not his fault. It's that girl. I don't know what she is, but she's got the power to manipulate people's minds, apparently. Tsukune's hooked by her spell, that's why he said that. I managed to free myself by thinking of funny things." I explained.
"Well, then we should do something." She said.
"What do you want me to do? If I look in her eyes, she's gonna get me with it again." I said.
In class, much as I predicted, Ms. Nekonome was only running it about authors who featured cats in their literature. "Why do I even bother coming to class?" I wondered, then looked over at Saizou, who was fast asleep with a half empty bottle of sleeping pills next to him. "I like the way you think about this situation." I said, taking a few, passing out. I woke up at the end of class when Moka dropped a book on my head. "Who, what, where, when, why?!" I asked, looking all around.
"I tried to wake you for 10 minutes. You were passed out." She said.
"Man, where's Saizou, I gotta find out where he got those." I said, looking around.
Later, we stood in the hall as she was drinking more tomato juice. "So, how are we gonna go about this?" I asked as she was taking a drink.
As she was about to answer however, a voice I wasn't hoping to hear rang out from above. "So apparently you're a vampire, huh? That's what people are saying." Kurumu asked, jumping down, revealing her panties to anyone looking.
"Whoa did you see that?" The first perv from before asked.
"Yeah, and they were totally white!" The second one said.
"What's more look at the boobs on her!" The last one said.
"Damn, those are some fantastic tits!" The first one said again.
"One moment, Moka. I have pervs to kill." I said, walking over and kicking their asses in less than half a second. Everything went black for a moment and the only thing that could be seen were purple impact effects signaling someone was getting hit incredibly fast. When everything reappeared, I was standing there with my arms crossed with the Japanese Mesatsu symbol on my forehead. "Street Fighter reference, bitches." I said in a badass tone.
"Anyway, I came here to make a declaration of war." Kurumu said to Moka walking a little ways passed her.
"A declaration of war?" Moka repeated, confused.
"Yeah, that's right. I've got this big plan, but you keep messing it up, Moka." She said.
"What plan?" Moka asked, turning her head to look at her.
"Oh, let me explain," She said, backing up, "My plan was to turn all the guys in the school into my personal love harem. And it was working, too, thanks to my booby trap." She said, turning in a way that made her boobs bounce as Moka sweatdropped. "Plenty of guys were falling into it. And why wouldn't they? I am a succubus after all." She said, then in an anime animation, she was prancing in place with guys spinning around her.
(I KNEW succubae were supposed to be sexy! Stupid DmC reboot managed to even screw THAT up.) I thought.
"Hey, wait a minute!" Moka interrupted. "You shouldn't reveal your monster identity to me, it's against school rules." Moka said.
"You know, honestly, no one pays attention to those anymore, we might as well forget them." I said.
"But!" Kurumu said angrily, mad for having been interrupted, walking up to Moka to the point their boobs were pressing into each other. "Then you came along and all the stupid boys fell for you instead of me! I've had it with your man stealing!" She said angrily.
"You know, I could see a TOTAL yuri moment happening right now if it weren't for the anger." I thought to myself.
"Wait! I didn't steal anyone, I swear!" Moka said, backing up and raising her hands defensively in surrender.
Suddenly, the damn bat came from nowhere again. "Alright, I think a catfight's about to break out, whee!" He said, then screamed and flew off when I started firing fireballs at him.
"I've had enough! So the other day, I vowed I wouldn't lose to you anymore!" Kurumu said, an intimidating rivalry aura sparking from them, but mostly from her.
"Are those babes gonna fight?" Another perv asked.
"For our sakes, I REALLY hope so." Another one said.
I stepped in front of them with a dark aura like Akuma's surrounding me. "For your sakes, you better hope not." I said, my eyes flashing red as the symbol appeared again. Then they ran away like bitches. "Yeah, I am pimp, aren't I?" I said to mostly myself.
"I knew I had to beat you and turn about spare play. And that's why I've stolen Tsukune away from you. I've been trying to steal Sai, too, but I guess he's a little more stubborn." She said, walking up to me and pressing her boobs into my chest.
(Just remember Lady's threat, Sai. Besides, it'll be hard to find another chick like that who ISN'T messed up anyway, with the crowd you hang out with.) I thought, turning my head and closing my eyes.
"That's stupid! Tsukune and Sai have nothing to do with this!" Moka said, trying to pull her away from me.
"Oh, there you are! I've been looking for you, Moka." Tsukune said, showing up from nowhere.
"This'll be good." Another perv said.
"Major catfight." Another agreed. At that moment, however, they were sadly beaten into a coma by my Raging Demon again.
"Mesatsu!" I announced after I ended the attack.
"What, Tsukune?" Moka asked in an annoyed tone, turning to face him.
"You might be being a little too harsh; he didn't say those things because he wanted to." I said, then realized something. "Good lord, I just took his side." I said, my eyes widening in shock and horror.
"Listen, Moka, I wanna talk to you about those things I said-" Tsukune started, but was interrupted by Kurumu throwing herself at him.
"Hey, Tsukune!" she said, holding onto him.
"I'm sorry, but I need to talk to Moka right now." He said, gently pushing her back.
"Holy shit, I must be going crazy, he's actually DOING something about the situation instead of being a total bitch and just taking it," I said, "But I guess he STILL hasn't figured out she's bad news. Dumbass."
"Love charm!" She announced, hypnotizing the poor fool again.
"But now that I think about it, I guess I really don't have to." Tsukune said, looking away.
"Tsukune, get away from her now!" Moka said.
"What, why would I do that?" He asked, looking back at her.
"Probably because she's mind controlling you, dumbass." I said, shaking my head.
"You have to believe me, she's dangerous!" Moka told him.
"I think she's sweet."Tsukune said, closing his eyes happily and looking down at her.
"Just when I was thinking there MAY be hope for you, but no, you're a complete, helpless dumbass." I said, facepalming.
"Hey, there's something I just noticed," Kurumu said, giving Moka a sly look, "Tsukune smells really good, doesn't he, Moka? Yeah, almost like a human does!" She said.
(They all think he smells like a human, but no one thinks of questioning him about it.) I thought.
"His blood must taste really good. That's the only reason you hang around him, isn't it? So you can use him as a substitute for breakfast?" She asked.
"And you're only hanging around him to use him for sex. So Moka may NEED him as a vending machine, but you just WANT to use him so you can continue to be a slut." I said.
"That's not true! And I don't use him, either!" Moka said.
"Yes, you do. The only reason you wanna be my friend is because you wanna suck my blood." Tsukune said, looking away, shocking Moka.
"He's not actually saying that, she's making him say that. Don't listen to him." I said, then turned to them. "Tsukune there's something on your face!" I said, then slammed my fist into his face with a satisfying anime punch sound. "It was pain!" I laughed. (That should've snapped him out of it.) I thought.
"You're becoming as big of a problem as she is. Let me see if I can fix that." She said, walking up to me and doing the same thing as before.
(Don't look at the eyes, don't look at the boobs, don't look at the eyes, don't look at the boobs, don't look at the eyes, don't look at the-) I repeated in my head, until she shoved it in between her boobs (Dammit!) I thought. I resisted for as long as I could, but eventually needed to breath and pulled my head away, causing me to look into her eyes. (Oh, you bitch…) I thought before everything went hazy again.
"Screw it, I'm out. Let's go, babe," I said, wrapping an army around Kurumu, grabbing Tsukune and dragging him off to wherever she was leading us. "See you later, Draculina." I said to Moka unintentionally. (I hate this bitch!) I shouted in my mind. It especially pissed me off when she started laughing as Moka ran off crying. Enough to snap me out of the hypnosis, but I decided to play it along until we got somewhere secluded. (If I tried taking her down here, all the pervs would gang up to defend her. I can't take on an army of monsters outside of their human forms alone.) I thought.
Later in the infirmary…
"Yahoo, I did it! I managed to make Little Miss Moka cry her eyes out! And that look on her face was so freaking awesome!" Kurumu laughed, sitting on one of the beds doing a small little dance, her tail now exposed and wagging.
(I am going to kick her ass!) I thought, tensing up, when at that moment, Tsukune stood up.
"What are you doing?" Kurumu asked him.
"Moka. I have to apologize to her." Tsukune said.
"No, wait!" Kurumu said, lunging at him and trying to force him into her boobs like she did to me, but I grabbed her arm. "And what the hell are you doing now?!" She demanded, trying to yank away.
"Doing what I should've done a long time ago. My favorite game, slut kicking!" I said, bringing my leg up and kicking her in the stomach, causing her to crash into and bounce off of the bed, then land on her head on the other side. "That's for almost suffocating me and causing me to hurt my friend's feelings… Oh, and for hypnotizing this helpless sap." I said, pointing at Tsukune with my thumb.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Tsukune said, grabbing my shoulder.
I huffed and jerked my shoulder away. "Just like I thought, you're too stupid to understand what's going on. She's a succubus; she's been trying to seduce us so she can have all the guys in the school as her personal harem. And to steal you away from Moka, since she's been the only obstacle for her plan to succeed." I informed him.
"What?!" He asked
"How dare you! I've thrown myself at both of you and you resist me! I've even done things that embarrass me! You like Moka more than me!" She said, sprouting bat wings.
Tsukune screamed like a bitch, but I just deadpanned and looked at him. "Why are you still being such a bitch? Have you forgotten we're in a school full of monsters? This is nothing compared to Saizou. All she did was sprout wings. You didn't even notice her tail before, either," I said, then looked at Kurumu. "As for your wings and tail, I'm not impressed. My brother has dragon wings with twice the wingspan yours have and his tail is covered in spikes. Honestly, you intimidate me less than my little sister." I smirked.
"Then maybe THESE will impress you!" She said, making her nails extend a few feet and become razor sharp.
"Okay, that could do it." I said, nodding.
"I'm gonna take everything that Moka likes and smash it all to pieces!" She said, flying at us.
"Such selfish arrogance… I cannot allow this!" I said, rushing at her, countering her attack and grabbing her. "By the way, you say 'yahoo' so much, you could be Black Star's sister!" I shouted, throwing her out of a window.
"Who's Black Star?" Tsukune asked.
"Annoying-ass wannabe ninja who fails at even being an assassin who has blue hair and shouts yahoo all the time." I said.
"Guys! Are you okay?!" Moka asked coming in.
"I would have to say so. I just pwned her ass." I said.
Suddenly, she came flying back and wrapped her tail around Tsukune's neck, flying out of the window. Moka grabbed onto him and was yanked out while I was trying to figure out what we were still doing here instead of leaving and getting away. "Sometimes, this anime makes NO sense." I said, jumping out of the window as Kurumu dropped them due to their weight.
"Tsukune, are you okay?" Moka asked.
"Yeah." Tsukune answered weakly as Kurumu dropped down.
"Excellent. Now I get to kill you both!" She laughed evilly.
"Not yet!" I said, jump flipping over her, grabbing her head and throwing her into a tree with one of my favorite moves: The guillotine throw. "Thank you, Ryu Hayabusa." I said. Unfortunately, that didn't put her out of the fight as long as I hoped it would. She came flying back, swinging her claws savagely. "DODGE!" I shouted, tackling them to the ground. I turned around to see the trees fall as they were sliced.
"She cut through those trees like they were butter!" Tsukune said in a scared tone.
"Yeah, screw the falchion, those are weapons of death. Actually, screw EVERYTHING in the Strider bitch's arsenal." I said (Yes, I hate Strider Hiryu MOSTLY for winning the Death Battle against Ryu, but I DO hate him for other reasons: He's an arrogant dick who considers massive airships as cheap toys). "I guess it's time for me to be a true badass. I can't fight her on the ground, so I'll just kick her ass in the air as a SUPER SAIYAN!" I said, powering up. The ground began to shake, the ground I was standing on sank deeper into the earth as rocks and trees were lifted into the air by my power. In a blinding flash of red light, where I stood, there was now a red haired Super Saiyan that was me, surrounded by an aura of fire instead of golden ki. "Pure. Unadulterated. Badass." I smirked.
"So what?! You're all shiny now, but I can still beat you!" She said, flying down.
"Bitch, you just jealous o' mah Super Saiyan swagger." I said, flying up after her.
"Is he gonna say that every episode?" Tsukune asked.
"I heard that, beta male!" I said, head-butting Kurumu in the stomach, then smashed both fists into her back, sending her to the ground.
"You're just pissing me off!" She said, flying back at me.
"Fine. I guess you want more of a Super Saiyan ass kicking." I said, flying down and attacking again. I easily outmatched her in every way, sending her back down to the ground as Tsukune finally ripped off the Rosary and called forth inner Moka. "Nice to see you put in the effort to help, but I already wrapped things up." I said.
"Fine. But for calling me out like this and to make sure this never happens again, I'm going to rip them off. Her wings and her tail that is." She said.
I turned to look at Kurumu on the ground, then back to Moka. "Hmph. Do as you will." I said, taking a few steps passed her and looking away like a badass.
"Wait! Why did you do this, Kurumu?" Tsukune asked.
"Who cares? I don't." I said.
"I did it to keep my race alive. We Succubae are few in number, so in order for our race to survive, we need to carefully pick our destined one out of a large pool of men we seduce with our love charm." She explained.
(Seduction, seduce, ain't nobody who's as good at what I do.) I sang in my head, remembering an Eminem song (yes, my thought process is THAT random. That's how I came up with the Black Star thing earlier).
"Well, she had a good reason for it. We've done enough; she seems like a good person deep down. Let's be friends with her, okay? Like the three of us. You can never have to many friends." Tsukune said.
I raised my hand and glared at him, ready to shoot a fireball to wipe him off the face of the Earth. "I am going to kill you if you say one more goddamn thing about friendship." I said.
"Oh, really?" Moka said, glaring at me. Her aura was still intimidating. It seemed like she was as strong as Vegeta in his first Super Saiyan form. I'd rather not go toe-to-toe with that, so I lowered my hand.
"Fine. I'm feeling merciful. But if this ever happens again, you will both be extra crispy." I warned, returning to base form.
"Let's hope you'll be ready for a fight with me if you're being serious." Moka said, grabbing her Rosary from Tsukune.
"If I have to fight you, I will. And it's more than likely I'll be the winner." I said.
"We'll see." She said, reattaching the Rosary, passing out as her outer self.
The next day…
"The Rosary spoke to you?" Tsukune asked.
"Yeah, it's weird, huh." Maybe the seal's getting weaker or something." Moka wondered.
"Weird. You know, she may not think it, but you're both my friends. I couldn't bear to be without either Moka, so if you wanna suck my blood, it's fine by me." Tsukune said.
"What did I say about the friendship speeches?" I growled. I raised a fist, but then we all heard something from behind us.
"Morning! Hi, Sai!" Kurumu said happily, causing us all to deadpan. She also had a basket, which she held out to me. "I baked some cute little cookies for us. How about you and I eat them together?" She asked.
"Why me?" I asked.
"Oh, come on, I already told you I was looking for my one and only destined partner for life right?" She said, wiggling back and forth, to which we all nodded. "Well, I've decided it's you, Sai!" She said.
"What?! Why me?! I left you to die at the hands of a bloodthirsty, homicidal vampire!" I said.
"Yeah, but you're really brave, strong and badass, you seem like the guy who could raise and protect a good family." She said, tapping my arm with the basket.
"Oh, wouldn't you know it, I'm allergic to cookies, sorry." I lied; I have no food allergy whatsoever.
"I didn't even tell you what kind they were!" She said.
"I'm allergic to all forms of cookie dough." I lied again.
"Oh, come on, just try them!" She said, trying to force one into my mouth.
"Hey! Sai is with me, just like Tsukune!" Moka said.
"Hey, you can only have one of us, better to stick with him." I said, backing away.
"Well, I'm not sure who I'll choose yet. You're not as sweet as Tsukune, but you're more protective and dependable." She said.
"Hey, have I ever told you guys the crazy story of how I'm dating a human chick?" I said.