It was a little earlier than I expected, but we had exams just like any other school. I think I did fairly well, but that's what I was checking now. First, I noticed Tsukune's name at 250 (Well, he was jealous of the guys who came in 201 and 222, so I made up a number), which I couldn't help but laugh at. Secondly, I noticed Kurumu's name under 122, which honestly, didn't surprise me. Then finally, I noticed my name under 20. "Even better than I expected. Then again, I did kick ass through most of Junior and senior year." I thought (I actually did do pretty well through most of junior year and am doing very well this year, in either honors or high honors). I looked a little further down the list to see Moka's name under 13th place. "Yeah, I was expecting that." I said, then noticed her and Tsukune walking over after looking at their grades.
"Good job, Sai. 20th place is pretty good out of 400+ students." Tsukune said.
"Wish I could say the same about you." I smirked, then looked at Moka. "You did a good job though, Moka. I was pretty sure you'd get ahead of me." I said.
"Oh, it was just a fluke. But maybe next time we could all study together." Moka said.
"I never study, actually." I said (true fact: I don't).
"That sounds really great." Tsukune said, then they began fawning over each other again.
"Oh, not again." I said, lightning a small fire under Tsukune to burn his ass in a little bit.
"Moka…"
"Tsukune…"
"Moka…"
"Tsukune…"
"Mok- AAAAAAAAGGHHH! HOLY CRAP, THAT'S FREAKIN' HOT!" He screamed, running around in circles, much to my amusement.
Unbeknownst to the two of them, however, someone was spying on Moka from behind a pillar; I knew this person was there due to my ninja sense. "Moka…" The figure said, sounding like a little girl. She made a swooning noise, continuing to look at Moka. "She's amazing." The girl said, now revealed to be a young girl about 12 years old.
Suddenly, someone came up from behind her. "Congratulations, Red Order Yukari." The voice said.
The girl turned around to see the president of her class and his two goons. "Class President." She said.
"As expected, you're the undisputed number one student this year. I guess someone knew what they were doing when they let you skip all those grades, huh? But here this: Don't press you're luck or you're gonna pay the price." He said, all 3 of them looking at her with a pedo look.
"Press my luck?" Yukari asked.
"Yeah, that's right, for example, that stupid witch costume of yours!" The bald one said, flailing around and pointing at her like a brat.
"It's against school rules. You better take it off." The fattest and most pathetic one said, getting WAY too close and scanning her up and down.
"Yeah, but this is my…" She started, before the assholes interrupted her.
"As your class president the fact that you're even here is enough to give me a headache, so spare me the sob story." The leader said, then they began laughing like assholes.
From behind her back, Yukari held her wand and made giant golden basins fall on their head. "It serves you right, you stupid jerks!" She said.
"Why, you little brat!" The class president said, picking himself off the ground, swinging his clawed hand at her. "Don't you know who I am?! I'll teach you, you prepubescent piss-ant!" He said as his claw was about to connect.
At that moment, I jumped into action, appearing in front of her in a flash, grabbing his arm. "Well, hello, Pedo President. What a surprise seeing you here. However, it's NOT a surprise to see you're being a dick and abusing your power to mess with someone weaker than yourself." I said, bending his arm back painfully, kicking him back to his goons.
"Why you son of a bitch! You dare disrespect my authority." He snapped.
"Correction: My mom is a Death Spirit and my dad is a demon of darkness. Anyway, back to the point: Yes, Cartman, I do disrespect your authority because you do as well. You just use your power do be a douche and get whatever you want handed to you on a silver platter," I said, then looked at his bald goon, "You hang with him so you can pretend you're important and acting like a little bitch and no one can call you on it," I said, then looked at the fat one, "And you hang with him because you're a pathetic pedo creep you can't get women on his own so you abuse the power to try and force women to get with you." I finished.
"Oh, he just dissed you!" Yukari giggled.
"You take that back or I'll kill you!" The fat one snapped, getting ready to lunge.
"Okay, okay, you don't get with women at all." I said with a smirk.
"That's better." He said, standing up normally.
"But, didn't you just…" Yukari started.
"Give him a minute." I told her.
He stood there for a minute, but then finally got it. "Hey! You son of a bitch!" He said, rushing at me.
"Fear my video-Fu!" I told him, taking a fighting stance like Yasha's.
(Bite-sized dictionary: Video-Fu, a newer martial art invented by Sai's older twin, Lance Blade, which consists of taking the signature moves from various video game characters that are humanly possible and rolling them into one style. But when used in fanfiction, any move, possible or not, can be used.)
I used Mileena's ball roll attack to roll forward and take the poor sap off his feet, then quickly spun around and did a split, using Cage's Nut Punch to smash the airborne dumbass in the back of the head, launching him into the air high enough for me to get up and- "Shoryuken!" I announced, doing the jumping/spinning uppercut to do even more damage, sending him higher into the air and keeping him airborne long enough for the finishing move. "Kame….Hame…..HA!" I announced, blasting the pedo into a pillar with a powerful ki blast. "In… Style." I said, running my hands threw my hair and giving a thumbs-up as my win pose.
"How dare you! Beating up a class representative is against school rules!" The leader said, but was too intimidated to do anything.
"Who DOES listen to the rules in this place? Literally no one. So I don't care. Now I'm gonna beat you motherfuckers…"I said, grabbing the leg of the one I beat up. "With THIS motherfucker!" I said, running after them and swinging the one I had like a club.
"Okay, I give up! I'll leave it at this for now." He said, then looked at Yukari who Moka was now guarding. "Filthy witch! I swear, just being in the same class as one of your filthy kind is enough to make me wanna puke." He said, walking away like he was still in control of the situation.
"That's racist!" I told him, then noticed something. "Oh, hey, you forgot something!" I said, throwing the fatass at them, sending them flying into a wall. "I am SO pimp." I said, brushing my knuckles on my lapel.
Later in the cafeteria…
"Thank you so much Sai! You really saved my neck back there! You, too, Moka, thanks for being an extra shield! I should introduce myself, I'm Yukari Sendo." Yukari said.
"Yeah, I've heard of you, you're in the same grade as us, but you're 4 years younger, right?" Moka asked.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you can skip grades enough to get into college? Maybe I should've thought the plot out better." I said
"4 years younger?" Tsukune asked, counting with his fingers. "So, wait, did you skip a few grades or something?" Tsukune asked.
"Obviously, otherwise she wouldn't be here." I said.
"Aw, I guess that means you're like super smart, aren't you? And your outfit rocks!" Moka said happily.
Yukari began blushing with embarrassed anime sweat or whatever it was flying around her face. "That's very nice of you to say, but I'm not the impressive one. You're by far the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, Moka. You're kind-hearted. And smart. And cool." She said, looking as if she was withdrawing herself. "You see, I uh… You should know… I love you more than life itself, Moka!" Yukari said, diving over the table and tackle-hugging Moka.
"Anime lesbians. They will ALWAYS catch you off guard." I said, not turning around. Tsukune didn't for a few moments either, but then he did and witnessed the event, getting a nosebleed again. "Of course." I said, pulling out my notepad where I keep track of Tsukune's daily pint loss, counting up to 6 before Yukari spoke again.
"Every time I passed you in the hall, I fell more and more in love with you! And since you saved me from those jerks, I decided that you're the one!" She said, constantly squeezing Moka's boobs.
"Technically I saved you." I said.
"Huh, what are you saying?! What do you mean the one?!" Moka asked.
"Well, duh! I want you to be my girlfriend!" Yukari cheered.
"Your whaaaaat?!" Tsukune shouted, his pint loss now being at 10.
"Well, I can be a girl and a friend!" Moka said.
"Yippee! I'm so excited about this!" Yukari said, snuggling up to her.
"Yeah, no kidding! I can tell." Tsukune said, his total pint loss for the scene ending at 17.
Later, the two were walking through the hall, Yukari squeezing Moka's boobs all the way, embarrassing all the girls and infuriating all the guys. "Has anyone ever told you your boobs are even bigger than they look? I'm flat as a pancake myself, so getting to squeeze ones like yours is a dream come true." Yukari said excitedly.
"Yukari, could you please let go, I'm starting to feel weak." Moka said uneasily (true fact: Female vampires have their power drained if someone gropes them like that…. Not. Just kidding).
"NO! STOP IT!" Tsukune said, running from around a corner. "What are you doing, you're both girls!" Tsukune said awkwardly.
"What you're a racist AND you don't like gays or lesbians? You hate everybody, don't you?" I asked disapprovingly (true fact: I hate racists and gay-bashers, they're not bothering you, so leave them alone. Hating anyone or saying their way is wrong ain't gonna do anything for you, so don't do it. I have gay friends and even family members who are gay. And if people mess with them, they meet the cold rubber of my shoe to their face).
"I knew you'd show up at some point." Yukari said in an annoyed tone, shocking Tsukune. "Tsukune Aono. You're grades are simply average, you're athletic ability is WELL below par. You have no useful skills at all. I couldn't imagine more of a half-baked guy." She said smugly.
"OH! She's just dissed you!" I said, falling on the floor, rolling in laughter.
"Now, you listen and you listen good! I don't want my darling Moka sullied by a creep like you!" She said. "So, I'm declaring war on you!" She shouted.
Suddenly, a locker began to rumble and all the janitor equipment flew out at him. "I'm going over here." I said, sidestepping, counting the further pint loss.
"These cleaning supplies are possessed!" Tsukune screamed.
"It's magic, you simpleton!" Yukari shouted.
"I could've told him that." I agreed.
"Magic?" Moka asked.
"Yep! You see I'm a witch, it's sort of my thing!" She said happily, then had a daring look on her face. "And if any dirty boy tries to get close to my Moka, well then they're gonna have to answer to me and my magic wand here!" Yukari said.
(Good. One women off this little harem. Now to get rid of Kurumu somehow. Too bad the having a girlfriend thing didn't help.) I thought.
From behind a corner, the three pedos were watching, failing at being sneaky. "Did you guys hear that?!" The brat asked with a happy/smug look on his face.
"This girl is WAY out of control. Revealing your monster identity is DEFINITELY against school rules." The fat one said
"Well, looks like you pushed your luck a little too far this time." The leader said with an ominous glare on his face.
Tsukune's current pint loss: 21
Later in the infirmary…
"Yukari Sendo?" Kurumu asked as she and I were tending to Tsukune's injuries.
"This won't hurt a bit." I said, heating up my thumb until it was orange. "It'll hurt a whole lot." I said, pressing it down on the bleeding cut on his face, cauterizing it, to which he screamed.
"I don't know what to do." Tsukune said.
"Stay off her bad side and away from Moka, that simple." I told him.
Kurumu then turned to me angrily. "Hey, what's the big idea?! Here we are in the very next chapter after my big debut and you couldn't get to me any sooner than this?!" She snapped.
"I was trying to get on YOUR bad side. Plain and simple." I told her, shrugging casually.
"Anyway, sounds like you had a really rough experience Tsukune." She said.
"Yep. She beat 4 pints of blood out of him." I said, holding up my notepad.
"You have no idea. She won't even let me talk to Moka, just look at the state I'm in." Tsukune said.
"I know, it's hilarious. Anyway, man up, dude: She's a little girl and you've only got a few cuts and bruises. If that were me, she'd regret what she did INSTANTLY… Then again, you're nowhere near as badass as me. Or badass at all." I said.
"You know, as far as that girl goes, I've heard a few things." Kurumu said, getting on all fours on the bed, crawling over and grabbing me.
"I do not care, piss off!" I said, pushing her away.
"Supposedly, she's some sort of genius, but apparently, she's real childish and bratty. Most of her class hates her guts." She said, till trying to pry herself onto me.
"She is a child, it's understandable." I said, now pushing her back with my left leg.
"She must be real full of herself. You know how those brainiacs are." She said.
"You do know I came in 20th, right? That pins me in with those 'brainiacs who are full of themselves.'" I said, moving off the bed so that Kurumu, pushing back as hard as she could to get to me, rushed herself off the edge of the bed. Suddenly, I sensed another presence. "Ninja sense time," I announced, "I'm sensing another presence here. A presence I've not felt since..." I said in my Scorpion (Mortal Kombat) voice, looking towards the window.
"Tsukune, my most hated rival, I'll beat you so bad you'll never walk again." Yukari said, then triumphantly held up a voodoo doll. "This is my voodoo doll. And it's got your name written all over it!" She said happily, putting in Tsukune's hair. "Just put this strand of Tsukune's hair inside and!" She said, making the doll hit itself in the face.
"I like this girl." I laughed, pulling out my notepad again, counting a pint for each time he hit himself. "Current count, 26." I said, before Yukari tried something else.
"A guy like you doesn't deserve a pair of perfect breasts like Moka's." She said, blushing and giggling. "Might as well give it up and get grabby with Ms. Titty-pie there, instead!" She said, making the doll grab, causing Tsukune to grab Kurumu's breasts.
"Well, that's surprising, but it keeps her off of me." I said.
At that point, Moka walked into the infirmary. "Man, I didn't think I was ever gonna lose her." She said in an exhausted tone.
"Why are we all here again?" I asked.
"No, it's not what it looks like! I swear! I can't control myself." Tsukune says.
"As always." I said.
"Hey, what do you two think you're doing?! You did it again! You used your love charm attack on him, didn't you?!" Moka said accusingly.
"Hey, you know I wouldn't do that!" Kurumu said, getting up and standing her ground, ignoring the fact Tsukune was still groping her.
"Besides, he'd be more zombie-like, anyway." I added.
"Yank!" Yukari said from outside, making the hands go down.
Inside, we were all (me included) shocked to see Tsukune yank down Kurumu's panties.
"That may be a LITTLE over the line." I said, walking over to the window. At that moment, Tsukune lost a massive pool of blood from his nose. I tallied the pint loss up to 45. "Okay, Tsukune, seriously, you need to stop being such a pussy and act like you've seen them before. If you lose much more blood, you are royally fucked." I told him.
Kurumu stepped out of her panties and tried to hold her skirt down while Moka got a large tic mark on the side of her head. "Um… Tsukune?" She asked.
"I didn't mean to, really!" He said, crying while still holding them.
I opened the window and reached out to grab Yukari as, just as I suspected, she popped up at that moment. "It worked, I did it!" She laughed, pointing at Tsukune, but then realized she revealed herself. Before she could crouch down, however, I grabbed her and pulled her in.
"Busted, whee!" Kou said, then flew off, changing the scene.
Later in Ms. Nekonome's room…
"You know, I gotta give that bat more credit, he's useful for randomly skipping time and getting somewhere else." I commented.
"Look, I can't take this anymore! You guys have GOT to do something here!" Tsukune complained.
"Why would I do that? This is easily the most fun I've had since I've been here." I smirked.
"Well, she hasn't really been bothering ME that much." Kurumu said, blushing.
"So, causing someone to forcefully grope you and remove your panties, shortly after getting them soaked in blood, doesn't bother you?" I asked.
"Relax, she's just a little kid, it's not that big of a deal!" Moka said defensively.
"Oh, come on! That's no excuse! She needs to understand she can't go around messing with people like that!" Tsukune said.
"She's not messing with PEOPLE. She's messing with you." I said.
"Will you stop being a jerk and help out." Tsukune snapped at me.
"Oh, I haven't been a jerk yet. And you DO NOT want to see me be a jerk." I told him.
"I think it's about time she learned her lesson!" Tsukune said.
A took a deep breath and thought for a minute. "No." I said.
"I suppose you're right, but…" Moka said, looking down at Yukari behind her.
"Yukari, look! If you keep this crap up, nobody's gonna like you, okay? You'll end up alone with no friends!" Tsukune said.
"Like you!" I said energetically.
"Who cares, I'm a genius! As far as I'm concerned, if people aren't at my level, why should I concern myself with being friends with them, anyway?!" Yukari snapped. Then she softened up a little. "What's the big deal, I've been alone from the very beginning." She said, kinda sadly, yet emotionless at the same time.
"Oh, that sucks." I said.
"Whoa, Yukari, that's…" Tsukune said sadly, until she quickly raised her wand and hit him with 3 gold dinette set pieces, chalking it up to 48 pints lost.
"Oh, man, you totally fell for that one!" She said, then point the wand at me. "And I actually agree with Tsukune, you're kind of a jerk!" She said, making things hit me. GIANT MISTAKE. I began shouting and powering up, shaking the entire building as she quickly ran out. "Run away!" She said, running down the hall as quickly as possible.
"GET OVER HERE!" I shouted, bursting out of the doorway in my Super Saiyan form.
"Sai, no!" Moka shouted, grabbing me quickly.
"NO ONE HITS ME WITH METAL OBJECTS AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" I snapped.
"Calm down! You can't go around losing your temper with a little kid like that, okay?" She said.
"Yeah, yeah, fine, I'll let it go." I said, dangerously cracking my neck to get all the kinks out and calm down (people ALWAYS tell me I shouldn't do that, but it never hurts me. It helps me move my neck better. The only time I might hurt myself is if someone surprises me while I do it and makes me twist my neck wrong. So it would be THEIR fault, not mine).
Meanwhile, Yukari was walking around, thinking of all the things people have been saying about her and how they were being racists, criticizing her for being a witch (is everyone in this show a racist?!). Suddenly, as she was standing still, someone bumped into her. "Ow, that hurt, you jerk! Why don't you watch where you're walking, you moron!" She shouted, waving her arm.
"Well, I suppose compared to you, almost anyone could be considered a moron, now couldn't they?" The class president said to her.
"The class president?" She said to herself.
Suddenly, the bald one came from nowhere and looked down at her with a TOTAL rape face. "Well, if it isn't little miss rule breaker." He said.
"You've gone and made our president angry." The fat one said, also looking at her with a pedo, rapist look (I honestly CANNOT make them out to be more of pedo rapists than I already have).
"Well, that doesn't have anything to do with me, so leave me alone!" Yukari whined, waving her arms.
"Oh, but it does. You see…" The president said as him and his goons closed in, then lifted her off the ground by one arm while his goons had a TOTAL pedo look on their faces as if they were facially saying "Alright! It's rape time!" Seriously, it's creepy just to WATCH. "Whenever a student does something to disrupt class discipline, it's our job to teach them a lesson." He said with an evil smirk.
Back in the classroom…
"My point is, you're way too lenient when it comes to Yukari." Tsukune said.
"Yeah, but when you stop to think about how she must feel." Moka said.
"Oh, come on! If that's the way you wanna look at it, think about my feelings, 'cuz I'm the one getting pummeled to death over here!" Tsukune snapped.
"Oh, you're such a whiney, selfish brat. It's always you, you, you. Throughout most of the series, you only think about yourself." I told him. Suddenly, I sensed a disturbance in the force. "My rape senses are tingling. I gotta go be a badass." I said, opening and jumping out of the window.
(Rape senses: the indication someone is about to get raped.)
"Look, you of all people know what it's like to be different! I know you do, Tsukune." Moka said.
"No, that's not the same thing." Tsukune said.
"How is it, any different?!" I called from outside.
"I won't abandon her!" Moka said, running out of the room.
"She did says she didn't care if she was well-liked. I mean, let's be honest, that is so like a witch." Kurumu said.
"RACIST!" I called out.
"You mean you don't know? Witches are halfway between witches and humans, but they're not really either one." Kurumu said, raising her finger to make a distinctive point. Meanwhile, the pedos were dragging Yukari deeper into the woods as she tried to free herself. Anyway, back to Kurumu's explanation. "A long time ago, people used to say witches were the link between monsters and human beings. Nowadays, people just think they're half monsters." She explained.
"Half monsters?" Tsukune asked.
"They aren't exactly accepted by the humans, either. Back in the day, things were pretty bad. They had witch trials and witch hunts; they've always been a hated people. She doesn't feel accepted by anyone. She's probably always felt like she's alone from the very beginning." She explained.
At that moment, I popped up back in the window. "How the hell do you know all this when you're the designated blonde of the show?!" I asked her, then turned to Tsukune. "And how did you not know that? Don't they teach the Salem Witch Trials and such in 5th grade or something?" I asked.
"I knew you'd come back if I made some sense, Sai!" She said, trying to hug me, but I just fell back and landed on my feet, now going back and dashing into the forest.
Meanwhile, the pedos threw Yukari against a tree. "Ow! Hey, what's your problem?! that hurt!" Yukari snapped.
"It hurts! It hurts! Why don't you go cry about it!" The brat mocked her.
"Your voice is disgusting!" The fat one said.
"I'd rather hear her voice than yours, you pedo piece of shit!" I said, coming in from the side and doing the Tatsumaki Senpukyaku to send them all flying. "And you're going to be the ones crying once I'm done with you." I told them
"Oh, you again! Good, now we can deal with two rule breakers at once!" The leader said, then suddenly, they morphed into giant lizards.
"DAMN, you guys are ugly! Even Baraka isn't that much of an eyesore and that guys shatters mirrors whenever he looks at one!" I said.
Later, Baraka reads this chapter after I post it. "Wha-!? Sai! You really gonna do me like that, Sai?!" He asked.
"That's enough out of you! You're nothing but a punk who thinks he can play tough! And she's nothing but a snot-nosed, shrimp-ass, punk bitch!" He snapped as they closed in.
"Better than being a supposedly mature snot-nosed bitch." I said, taking a fighting stance and herding Yukari behind me.
"Why are you defending her?! She's a witch! A shrimp like her doesn't belong here!" He snapped.
Yukari gasped and I guess this finally got to her. I tuned to her mind and looked at what she was thinking: more people talking bad about her. Then she had a flashback.
"I wish we didn't have HER in our class." One girl said as Yukari was walking within earshot to take out her trash.
"What's her deal? The dirty witch. Acting like she's hot shit just cuz' she's good at school and stuff." Another girl who sounded REALLY stuck-up said.
(Sounds like she's the exact opposite.) I thought.
"Why do they even let stupid little brats like her come to school here?" Another girl asked.
(Okay, THAT chick sounded like a DUDE.) I thought.
"I know, right, it's like you're a total pain in the ass. Why don't you just leave?" The second girl agreed.
(It's a pain in the ass just LISTENING to these sluts talk.) I thought.
At that moment, Yukari raised her wand and the girls' skirts dropped.
(Well, THAT'S a little more interesting.) I thought.
"Hey, what happened?!" The man-sounding girl asked.
"I'm so embarrassed." The stuck-up one said.
(You deserve to be.) I thought.
Yukari giggled at that point. "Well THAT oughta teach you!" She laughed, running away.
"It was that bitch!" The stuck-up one said as the three of them chased after her, oblivious to the fact they didn't pull their skirts up and no longer had them on around their ankles, so they must've just left them. Then they fell over Yukari's trash bin.
(They're either REALLY stupid, or really slutty not to realize they don't have their skirts on anymore.) I thought.
"That was mean! This is why everyone hates you, you stupid witch!" The leader said.
(Well, to be fair, you were being mean first.) I thought.
"I don't even want to be friends with stupid girls like you so there!" Yukari said, sticking her tongue out and pulling her eyelid down some.
Ending the flashback, Yukari looked down and looked as if she had no will to talk back to him. "Don't listen to any of them. They're all just simpletons. None of them even try to understand you, so who cares about them. Just focus on the good things in life and on getting out of here in one piece!" I told her.
"So, what should we do with them?" The brat asked,
"I say we eat them. There's plenty of fog, no one would see us." The fat one said.
"That's a good idea. Put them in the pain they deserve to be in." The leader said.
"Oh, shut up and eat this!" I said, flipping them off, then pulling out Nevan, my favorite of the Devil Arms I usually steal from Dante, turning it into a scythe and slashing them back. "If you want something to eat, I'll serve you up some nice rips!" I said, striking an E minor chord, blasting them back.
"What the hell is that?!" The brat asked.
"It's some kind of guitar from hell!" The fat one said in a panicked tone.
"We'll… We'll just eat that, too, boys! He can't hurt us with it if he doesn't have it!" The leader said, but he was obviously terrified.
"You're more than welcome to try it, but I don't think it'll go your way." I told them.
"Get away from them right now!" Moka shouted.
"Damn. I was just about to make myself a new leather jacket." I said.
"Well, well, well, look who it is." The leader said.
"I just had a great idea, boss, how about we eat this one, too?!" the brat asked.
"I second that emotion." The fat one asked.
"Yeah. She's all plump and juicy. And most of all, she's got those, and that, and that." He said, looking at her boobs, curves and ass.
"We're fine, just get out of here!" Yukari told her.
"As far as monsters go, these guys are a joke! I could probably handle them alone!" Yukari asked.
"Um… Hello? Badass ninja. Right here." I said, waving my hand.
"You gotta stop doing that Yukari. Don't act so tough. If you're scared, there's nothing wrong with asking others for some help. Don't push yourself so hard, Yukari." Moka said, walking up to her, ignoring the lizards and ME! "Don't bit off more than you can chew. You're still a little girl, you know." She said sweetly.
"I'm not pushing myself too hard." Yukari said softly.
"Am I being ignored?" I asked.
"The truth is you've been alone your whole life, right?" Moka asked, shocking Yukari. If you feel lonely, and you don't like being all alone, why don't you say so?" Moka asked.
"I was the same. All alone, all by myself." Moka said, teary-eyed.
"You, too, Moka?" Yukari asked.
"How many times do I have to tell you: That was you being insecure and not making an effort to branch out to others?" I said.
"That's why I'll never give up on you. Why I want to help you and be there for you, Yukari. No matter what." Moka said, holding Yukari's hands.
"Thank you, Moka." Yukari said, crying a little, embracing Moka.
"I just remembered why I hate friendship speeches." I said in an annoyed tone.
"Hey, what gives?! Did they forget about us or something?!" The leader asked.
"Yeah, what are we, chopped liver?!" The brat asked.
I turned back to them as I realized they were still there. "Oh, yeah, I forgot about you guys. You're still here?" I asked.
"We're not gonna stand for this, you hear me, fellas?! I say it's high time we chow down on some of that yummy-looking rump roast!" The leader said, lunging to bit Moka's asked.
"How much more of a pedophile can you possibly be?!" I asked, making Nevan a scythe again and slicing towards his mouth.
"No!" Yukari asked, reacting at the same time as I swung Nevan, biting his tail, so he got a spiked scythe blade in his mouth and a small child biting his tail.
"Oww!" He cried in pain, forcing Nevan out of his mouth and looking at Yukari. "What do you think you're doing, you miserable little brat!" He shouted, swiping his claw at her, but instead scratched Tsukune's back as he dove and knocked her out of the way.
"Holy shit, Tsukune, good job, man! Okay, for that, you earn a badass point and lower your fail ranking a few places." I said, pulling out my notepad and jotting that down. Then I noticed his back. "Damn. That's probably a few pints, though." I said, writing that down. Current Tsukune Pint Lost: 58.
"Wait, I don't get it, why are you here?" Yukari asked.
"I'm sorry about before. I get how you feel; I know what it's like to be all alone, too." Tsukune said.
"No, you don't, you liar, you don't know anything!" She said, pounding on his shoulders a little.
"So, come on. Please let me do what I can to help you, okay?" Tsukune asked.
"That does it! I'm sick of the friendship speeches, I'm out of here!" I shouted in rage, throwing Nevan over my shoulder and walking off. Then someone put up a "technical difficulties" sign with a chibi version of Deadpool shrugging.
"Sai, wait! We need you for the big fight!" Tsukune said.
"I am not gonna indulge myself in this anymore with all this friendship bullshit! That's why I hate any Yu-Gi-Oh episode Tea shows up in!" I snapped.
"Okay, we'll stop it, but we need you in this." He argued.
"Fine, but if we say anything else about friendship, I'm hospitalizing all of you." I said, putting down the chibi sign and getting back to the scene.
"Alright, that's enough. For the last couple of minutes, it's been nothing but sappy melodrama." The leader said as they lunged for Tsukune and Yukari.
"I actually agree with you." I said.
Just before they could destroy the two, however, Kurumu swooped in and saved them, taking to the sky again. "Are you two okay?" She asked.
"Kurumu!" Yukari said.
"Perfect timing, Batgirl!" I said, waving to her.
"Ugh, you guys are heavy." She said, setting them down.
"Thanks for helping us out back there." Tsukune said.
"Give me a break, ANOTHER do-gooder?!" The leader asked.
"OH! You just ADMITTED you were the bad guys!" I laughed.
"That's it! Get him!" The leader said.
"Fine then. 'Mere." I said like Gabriel Iglesias. Tsukune then slumped from blood loss. "60… Screw it, you're ROYALLY FUCKED!" I told him.
"I got him!" The brat said, rushing at me.
"Time for my favorite Christmas song!" I said, pulling out a radio and playing the song.
"You better breathe! You better not move! You're better off dead, I'm tellin' you, dude! Santa Clause is gunnin' you down!" I said, pulling out the blue rose and blasting him in the face, knocking him out. That gun can't kill ANYTHING in one shot.
"Muh- My turn!" The fat one stuttered in fear.
"Let's play." I said in a sadistic voice, taking Mileena's fighting stance as the radio switched to the Mortal Kombat theme song. I used the ball roll again, then uppercutted him as I popped up, then teleported and kicked him out of the air and onto the ground, then leaped with a sai in one hand and stabbed him in the stomach. I then turned to the last one and smirked, going Super Saiyan. "Your turn." I said.
"That red hair! It was white before! Getting your hair dyed is against school rules! So is that trench coat. And having so much power is against school RULES!" He said, rushing at me.
"Bullshit!" I said, rolling onto my back, kick him into the air, then I teleported after him and fired a Torn Sky Blast at him at close range, shooting him into the lake. "Devastating." I said. Then looked at the other two and smirked, the Mass Effect renegade icon appearing off to my right. "Time to be a jerk." I said evilly. I jumped into the air and crashed my heel down on the fat one's skull, crushing it, then pulled out a Scorpion-like mask from one of my pockets, putting it on, then taking it off to reveal a flaming skull for a head, then I spewed fire over the brat, roasting him. I put the mask back on, took it off and was myself again.
"Sai! That was NOT very paragon." Tsukune scolded.
I spat, then glared at him. "Renegade for life." I said.
"I don't get it. Why did you guys help me?" Yukari helped.
"Didn't you hear anything we said, Yukari? We came to rescue you because we all wanna be there for you no matter what. You don't have to be alone anymore." Tsukune said nicely, then looked at me. "Sai, do you have anything to add to the friendship speech?" He asked.
"Fuck off." I told him.
A few days later…
Kurumu, Moka and Tsukune were walking to the classroom, carrying bags of I don't know what. "About Yukari, I heard she totally cleaned up her act the other day. She got up in front of the whole class and apologized for the mean tricks she pulled. Everyone started to feel guilty about the horrible things they said to her. Little by little they started to open up to her." Kurumu said.
"That's really great!" Moka said happily, opening the door.
"Yeah. Things will probably get back to normal now." Tsukune said.
They walked in to witness Yukari hugging me tightly and me trying to pry her off with a crowbar. "Oh, my Sai, I just love you to death!" She said.
They dropped their bags in shock. "Yukari, what's up?" Moka asked.
She turned to look at them. "Hey, guys! Our classrooms are right next to each other, I should come over and play sometime!" She said happily.
"Come over and play?" Moka asked.
"Yeah, it'll be fun, because I'm already in love with you, Moka, and now I've fallen madly in love with Sai, too, isn't' that great?" She asked.
"No, it's not! I'm not a pedophile!" I said, still trying to pry her off without hurting her.
"When Sai chased me that one time, for some reason it made me feel like I wasn't a kid anymore. What I mean is I want him to chase me over and over again!" She said still hugging me.
"Ain'ta gonna happen." I told her, prying her off more.
"Oh, no you don't! Sai is mine and don't you forget it!" Kurumu said, yanking on me.
"I don't belong to anyone!" I said, trying to pull away.
"Hey! You let go of him, he's mine!" Yukari said, pulling back.
"Both of you are wasting your breath." Moka said, looking down so her hair covered her eyes.
"Thank you, Moka! At least you can remember I have a girlfriend." I said.
"Sai belongs to ME!" She said, diving at us, also grabbing me.
"Alright, that's it!" I said, going Super Saiyan, blasting them away covered in fire that went out once they hit the ground.
"Moka! Are you okay?!" Tsukune asked, holding her.
"Yeah, but… I'm so… Thirsty." She said, drinking his blood.
"Ah! No, cut it out! Come on, Moka! You're gonna suck me dry!" Tsukune complained.
"…. That sounds so wrong." I said.