My day started out like any normal day... Jeez, how overly-used is that line? Abridged Series or not, it's in every anime at one point. Oh well, anyway, I was walking to the GOD-FORSAKEN school of which I was totally tricked into going to when, as always, the rape attempts began first thing in the morning. Moka came from nowhere and grabbed onto my arm, holding it. Then, from the other side, Kurumu showed up, looking furious, then the two either were using me as the rope for tug of war, or were trying to rip my arms off, because they started pulling on my arms to get me away from the other one. Then, Yukari came from nowhere and jumped on my back, adding to my annoyance.
"That's it. I can't take it anymore." I said, powering up to Super Saiyan, bursting on fire and forcing them to let go. Then I just walked away like a badass and headed to class, where, much to my surprise, we were actually LEARNING something that DIDN'T involve cats! I thought I was in the Twilight Zone!
"Now then, let's move onto the next page. Please read it out loud for us Mr. Aono." Ms. Nekonome said, looking at Tsukune.
"Oh, this will be good." Said Damion, another friend in our little group who can't stand Tsukune who sits just to my right in class. He's also a vampire and is Darkchild1996's OC for his story similar to this one.
"Yep. Let's see how bad he screws it up." I said as we looked over to Tsukune, who appeared to be spacing out.
"Mr. Aono?" Ms. Nekonome asked again.
At this point, Tsukune began scratching his head and began whining again. "Oh, what am I gonna do?!" He said to himself.
Damion and I looked back at each other at this point. "What a baby." We said, each taking a drink of our beverages: in my case, Root Beer, in Damion's: A blood-transfusion pack.
"Tsukune?" Moka asked, poking him in the back with the eraser part of her pencil.
"What the hell am I supposed to do?!" He screamed suddenly, rising up from his chair, causing the entire class to stare at him.
"Not be a bitch?" I asked.
"Stop having pansy-ass breakdowns all the damn time?" Damion threw in.
"It's simple, just read this page out loud for us." Ms. Nekonome said, smiling, causing Tsukune to blush since he remembered where he was.
Later, on the roof again...
"What are we always doing on the damn roof?" Damion asked.
"That's what I said!" I pointed out.
"Anyway, what was with you in class this morning?" Moka asked Tsukune.
"Oh, nothing. I just wasn't fully awake, yet." He said.
"Or you were just spazzing out again." I smirked.
"When isn't he?" Damion asked.
"Guys, enough!" Moka snapped.
"Yes, ma'am." I said.
She looked back at Tsukune then. "Well, that's good to know, but if you're ever in trouble, you can come talk to me about anything." She said. "Because... You and I..." She said, blushing slightly.
"Moka?" Tsukune asked.
"Tsukune..." She fawned.
"Moka..." He fawned as well.
"OH MY GOD!" I growled, kicking Tsukune off the roof.
"Thank you." Damion said.
"Hey, guys!" Kurumu said, appearing from nowhere.
"That's it, I'm out." I said, pulling out the Blue Rose, blasting myself in the stomach with it and sending my flying off the roof. "Whoa! That was fun!" I laughed as I rolled across the ground, healing instantly.
Later, I was carrying my garbage to the incinerator, when suddenly, three dudes who looked even lamer than Tsukune stepped in front of me, looking like they want to fight, as the two tall ones had their fists up and the short fat one was cracking his knuckles. But even though they were trying to act tough, they were crying like bitches, but they did have a furious red and black anime background behind them.
"You're him aren't you? Sai Blade, right?" The center one asked.
"Sai Blade...? SAI Blade...? Does he have a badass black trench coat that goes down to his knees, like this?" I said, putting my hands in my waist pockets of my trench coat and holding it out as if I were Batman holding out his cape.
"Yeah." They all said.
"And does he throw fire like this?" I said, throwing a couple of fireballs, then juggling 3.
"Yeah." They confirmed.
"And does he say 'what's up, doc?' Like this?" I said, leaning against the fat one with my elbow propped on his head, taking a bite from a Slim Jim. "Eh, what's up, doc?" I asked.
"Yeah!" They all said, frantically nodding.
"Nope, never heard of 'im." I said, grabbing my trash and dumping it in the incinerator.
"Aw..." They said, then looked as if they realized something. "Hey, wait! You ARE him, aren't you?!" The tallest one asked.
"*gasp* You're a genius!" I said, pointing to him.
"And we're fed up with you!" The fat one said.
"And why is that?" I asked.
"It's because you're our number one enemy!" The tall one said.
"That isn't very wise on your part, then." I said in a cocky tone, folding my arms.
"You don't know why, do you? Then allow us to explain. Formation!" The leader said as they grabbed their blazers and ripped them off.
"Oh, what the hell, man?! I don't need to see any of that!" I said, turning my head and raising an arm to block my eyes. "I thought you said I was your enemy, not the dude you had the hots for!"
But instead of having no shirts on like I thought, they instead had pink, open jackets that said either "Moka is my life" (the leader), "Kurumu is my life" (the fatass) or "Yukari is my life" (The tall one).
"Start!" The leader announced, then clasped his hands together and began rocking back and forth. "Give me an M! Give me an O! Give me a K! Give me an A! And what does that spell? MOKA!" He said.
"Oh, jeez, cheerleaders," I said, rolling my eyes and pulling out a cigar. "Mind if I smoke?" I asked (Note: I don't actually smoke, it was a Futurama reference).
"I've got a cheer for the girl of my dreams, too, pal! Kuru, kuru, she's my love, touch her and you'll get a shove! Yeah!" The fat one said, pointing to his cheeks and rocking back and forth like the first one.
(Ooh, a shove! Terrifying! These guys are the most pathetic people in this anime so far, probably at all.) I deadpanned in my mind. "Okay, okay, I get the point!" I said, raising my hands and pushing forward, signaling that they could and SHOULD stop now.
"Y!U!K, A, R, I! Yukari, yay!" The tallest one cheered, fist pumping one fist after the other and turning slightly less than the other two.
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" I said, raising a hand like I was getting ready to bitch slap them.
"I guess we'll explain a little more. I'm the president of the Moka Akashiya fan club, Kozo Azuhara!" The leader said with his arms crossed as the animation made him spin in place.
"And me! I'm the president of the unofficial Kurumu Kurono fan club, Basaburo Tyra!" The fat one said with his hands on his hips, spinning the same way, appearing to the left of the leader.
"Tyra? You mean like Tyra Banks?" I asked.
"And me? I'm president of Yukari Sendo's Private fan Club, Kubisako Nagai'i!" The tall one said, spinning, but not in any special pose. (I don't even care if I spelled any of their names wrong.)
"And together we form!" They said, striking annoyingly pathetic poses. "The Cute Girl Fan Club Coalition!" They announced.
"And look the fucks I give!" I said uncaringly, wanting the stupidity to end. "Look, if you want the girls, you can have 'em! Moka makes about as many friendship speeches as Tea Gardener from Yu-Gi-Oh, Kurumu believes Anti-freeze is a FOOD COLORING and DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YUKARI! She'll sing DISNEY SONGS and BIRDS will RANDOMLY ATTACK YOU!" I warned them, reminding myself of their flaws, Yukari's being when she was following me around all the time while singing "There might be something there that wasn't there before" and a bunching of fucking birds landed all over me and wouldn't go away. "Anyway, are you going to get out of my way, or do I need to throw you into the incinerator along with my trash?" I asked them.
"How dare you say such lies and insult our goddesses!" They said, charging in and hitting me with what looked like party hats.
I merely looked at my watch, completely uneffected. "How long is this gonna go on, I have things to do?" I asked.
"Shut up! We'll keep beating you until you're nothing but cuts and bruises!" The leader said.
"Okay, I stopped caring hours ago. Bored now, you die." I said, glowing orange and raising both hands to the sky, fire surrounding me.
"What the fu-?!" They screamed, but then I quickly pushed my arms out to the sides and unleashed a massive blasting of fire while laughing like a maniac.
"I'm a maniac! MANIAC! Killin' fools!" I laughed. "I don't even know that song." I smirked, dumping my trash in the incinerator while the three of them, barely alive, ran away while pissing themselves.
At lunch the next day...
"So, they messed with you guys, too?" I asked Tsukune and Damion, eating my ramen.
"Yeah. They raised those cups, but I just raised up my badass aura a little and they ran like bitches." Damion smirked.
"Ah, the badass aura, what WOULD we do without it?" I asked.
"Well, they DID beat up Tsukune with those cup things." Moka said, holding onto Tsukune.
"Speaking of them, have you noticed they've been hanging around a lot?" Kurumu asked.
"Now that you mention it, I have." Yukari said.
"Flashback time." I said.
Flashback...
Yukari was walking down the hall carrying a DVD projector for something we did in class I can't remember. "Wow, this TV equipment is so heavy." She said. She looked around, then turned around the tall nerd took a picture of her. "Hey, creep! What the heck are you doing?!" She demanded.
He froze for a minute, but then began randomly taking pictures of everything, ignoring all the important aspects of photography. "Just taking pictures of our ever-changing school! See I'm in the photography club, so this is part of my duties! These photos are for the yearbook and not for my personal use at all." He said.
Kou then flew by to end the flashback...
"Dear god, I don't even want to know what a pedo like that would use those pictures for in his personal use." I said, kinda grossed out.
"Yeah, not gonna lie, even I'm disturbed by that one." Damion agreed.
"I've noticed them, too." Kurumu said.
Flashback...
Kurumu was at the school's shop getting ingredients for cookies, hopefully not ones for me. "Let's see, I need Vanilla Extract, Baking Powder and a bottle of liquor. Great! Yahoohoo! I really hope Sai is gonna like this!" She said (Goddammit!). Suddenly, she noticed the fat nerd looking at her, trying to pose manly, but failing and making me want to throw up. "What the?!" She said.
Later, she was walking down the hall, her boobs bouncing with that little sound effect while the fat guy walked not too far behind her, his giant stomach sloshing. She eventually stopped and turned around to see him in another failing-to-be-manly pose. "Again?!" She said, creeped out.
Later again, She walked out of presumably the Girl's Bathroom, to find him in another horrible pose, holding a wilting flower. "He's here too?!" She freaked out.
Even later... Ugh... Too many laters in one flashback... The girls were in Gym class and Kurumu bent over to touch her toes and noticed him yet again with a kitty face with his hand on his chin, looking at her. "He's still staring!" She freaked out.
End flashback, finally.
"Getting stared at is WAY worse. I mean I'd rather have my picture taken than have some pervert gawking at me like that." She said, eating her own ramen.
"Yeah. Me, too." Moka sweatdropped.
"If I were you, I would've been concerned what he was staring at in that last bit of the flashback." Damion said.
"And you put a bottle of liquor in my cookies?! What else did you put in there?!" I demanded. "No wonder I was so drunk I proposed to a mop!"
"Seriously?" Damion asked.
"Yep. I thought it was my GIRLFRIEND and proposed to it, but then I sobered up and was instantly disappointed and confused. And angry." I told him.
"Well, either way, those guys give me the creeps." Yukari said.
"I second that." I agreed.
"Same." Damion added.
"We can kick their asses if they try anything with us," Kurumu started.
"Hell yeah!" I laughed.
"But Tsukune is the real problem." She finished.
"So what do we do?" Yukari asked, flailing her arms.
"Maybe we should talk to a teacher about all this." Moka said.
"Oh, what do the teachers do? I killed 3 class representatives and no one said anything." I said.
"Yeah, if we told Ms. Nekonome, all she would do is look down and pout because she'd have to actually try to do something." Damion said, to which I nodded agreeingly.
"There's no need to talk to a teacher. Instead, the 5 of us will be Tsukune's bodyguards." Kurumu said.
"I am not being a bodyguard to a pansy like him, I already have to save his ass too much." Damion said.
"I will if he pays me enough." I said.
"You know, I can't help but think I've heard a line like that before." Damion wondered.
"You remember nothing." I said in a hypnotic tone (Damn! He knows I ripped off Deathstroke's line!) I thought.
"You girls, too?" Tsukune asked.
"Oh, don't start getting sexist again." I told him.
"He's one big ball of stereotypes and racism, isn't he?" Damion asked.
"Anyway, yes, we will be. It'll be like killing two turds with one bone, yahoohoo." Kurumu giggled.
"I think what you meant was killing two birds with one stone." Yukari said.
"Blonde and blue are the same thing, aren't they?" Damion asked.
"Apparently so, yes." I said.
"Thanks, but I'll be fine." Tsukune said, to which I bursted out laughing, until Moka pulled out that knife from Chapter 1.
"No, you won't! If they attack you, you're gonna get the crap beaten out of you again!" Yukari objected.
"Pretty DAMN quick, too." Damion added.
"Uh-huh. You're just not strong enough! It's because you're a hu-." Moka started, about to admit he was human, before I quickly glanced at her as she remembered and covered her mouth. "I'm sorry, I meant to say you're not that strong in your human form, but I bet you are when you change into your monster form! I mean, I don't really know, but I'm sure you are." She corrected herself.
"Right, yeah, I've gotta go. So, see ya." He said, getting up and leaving.
"Finally, I thought he'd never leave." I said, finishing up my own food.
Later, around back of the school near the woods...
Damion and I were in the middle of a friendly sparring match when Tsukune showed up as I was midway through a hazanshu and Damion was about to throw an uppercut. "What do you want?" I asked him as I quickly landed on my hands and spun to land on my feet.
"Look, guys, there's no getting around it. You both know I'm a weak human panty-waist, I can't defend the girls like this." Tsukune said.
"Why are you being so stupid and sexist about this? They're offering to be your bodyguards when you get into shit, they'll save you. If I were you, I'd let them take over, shut the fuck up and HIDE." I told him.
"Anyway, what's your point?" Damion asked.
"I need the two of you to train me." He said.
We both deadpanned, staring at him, then looked at each other, before we both started laughing uncontrollably. "Oh, my god! Oh, my god! It's too funny! Help me! I can't breathe!" I laughed, doubling over, holding onto Damion to avoid dropping on the ground.
"Dude, us training you would be a waste of time, I'd be like how Batman tried to train Superman. Either of us could throw you like a javelin, you'd never learn anything." Damion said.
"I agree. But, if you have some money, I MAY try to help you." I told him.
"I only have a 20, but here." He said, handing it to me.
"Fine, first we need to find something you can actually do. Let's see. Can you do this?" I asked, executing a Spinning Bird Kick.
"Probably not." He said.
"Then how about this: DODGE!" I said, kicking him as he failed to dodge.
"I guess not." He said.
"You know, when you look at this anime, there are way too many DODGE! Moments." Damion said.
"Maybe we'll go with weapons. That should be enough of a deterrent." I said, tossing him Future Trunks' sword, but he couldn't even lift it.
"It's too heavy." He said.
"I'm thoroughly convinced we'll never get anywhere like this." Damion said.
"Well, why don't we just give you a gun, I doubt you can screw that up." I said, tossing him the Blue Rose, which he barely managed to catch, then I walked 10 paces away. "Shoot me." I told him.
"What?!" He said.
"Shoot me. Let's see how good of an aim you are." I told him.
"That's crazy, I'm not gonna-" He started.
"Look, I doubt you can even hit me anyway, but this is the only thing I can think of to make you not a pansy who has to be protected by girls, besides, you're not gonna-" I was saying, but then he raised the gun and shot me in the head, blasting me back and sending me to the ground, causing the two of them to panic.
"Holy shit, Tsukune, you shot him in the fucking head!" Damion said in shock.
"I didn't know that would happen! I wasn't even aiming for his head!" Tsukune panicked.
"Oh, shit, what are we gonna do?!" Damion demanded, pacing.
I started laughing like crazy and got up. "Will you two relax? It's the Blue Rose, it couldn't even kill Saizou in one hit, I doubt that thing could kill me." I said, getting up. "But the look on your faces is priceless." I laughed, walking back.
"You know, I think guns are out." Tsukune said, handing it back.
"Well, obviously, there's only one way we're gonna get this done." Damion said.
"Yep. You thinking what I'm thinking?" I asked, to which he nodded.
"What is it?" Tsukune asked.
"Training montage." We both answered.
Background Music: The best around from the Karate Kid movie
Tsukune was doing basic punches and kicks in martial arts, then punched a tree and held his hand. Me and Damion started arm wrestling while he continued training. He then did some push-up and passed out after 20, to which Damion and I shook our heads. We cut back to me and Damion arm wrestling again, neither having gained an inch. Tsukune now did a split and successfully executed Cage's Nut Punch technique, but then he couldn't get up from the split. He then tried the Tatsumaki Senpukyaku, managing to get on revolution, but he had troubling keeping his balance when he landed. He then did more push-ups, getting up to 40. Me and Damion were still arm wrestling, both starting to turn red. Tsukune tried Mileena's ball roll, but only managed to roll twice before unballing and getting dizzy. Next, he tried Kitana's fan throw technique, but he horribly missed the target. He did more actual martial arts and managed to do a few of the basic moves and combos Damion taught him, but it was a rough attempt and he was decently tired afterwards.
He did more push-ups, this time only managing to do 10, but that was probably because I was laying on his back reading a Gameinformer magazine, eating pizza and drinking Root Beer. We cut back to me and Damion still arm wrestling, both now as red as if we were sunburnt and neither of us still got anywhere. We cut back to Tsukune, who threw a haymaker at my chest, hitting me and managing to at least disturb me, to which I nodded. Him and Damion were in a small sparring match and were actually matching each other for a small amount of time, but then Damion ducked under one of Tsukune's kicks and threw an uppercut, sending him airborne and onto the ground. For the final time, we cut back to Damion and I arm wrestling and I finally managed to pin his arm down and raised both hands to cheer.
End Music
At the end, we were all panting and tired, but we made pretty good progress. "Good work Tsukune. You're probably about as powerful as Gohan was when he headbutted Raditz in one of the first episodes of DBZ." I told him.
"But he was only 4 and didn't even know what he was doing! He probably couldn't beat those guys either!" Tsukune said.
"Well, I was trying to be nice about it. You could probably take on one of those guys in their human form by now." I told him.
"Yeah, but if they go into their monster form, you're screwed." Damion told him.
"So this is what it's like to feel like Krillin." Tsukune said.
"I don't know what this Krillin is, but it sounds just like Raditz." I said.
"Sorry to say, man, but it's all downhill from here." Damion said.
I then looked up at the sky. "Tsukune. I saw a bird. It was pretty. Kick its ass." I told him, pointing at the bird.
"How am I gonna get a bird?!" He demanded.
"Eternal failure." I said, firing a Hadoken at the bird.
"That's it, I'm out of here!" He said, running off.
"You know, maybe we should've just given him some Pokemon to save his ass instead." Damion said.
"Oh, yeah. I forgot to rip off Pokemon sooner. Gotta do that more later." I said, making the note.
Later...
Yukari was outside cleaning up and dancing with mops and brooms and such. "Sweeping up, sweeping up, it's so fun when sweeping up. Sweeping up, sweeping up-" She sang, until she saw Damion and I walking to the forest in the direction of the bus stop, Damion with a bag. "Where are they going?" She wondered.
"You know, it's nice to get away from there once in a while." I told him.
"So, are you really going to ask the bus driver to transport a pigeon to the human world?" He asked.
"Well, yeah, I didn't feel the need to write 20-some odd letters like you or Tsukune did, I only needed a pigeon to carry one letter. Besides, I doubt I can ask the bus driver to go all the way to America to deliver a letter." I told him.
"Okay, good point." He said.
"You know, any time I go through these woods I feel like one of these three things: I'll run into Slenderman, the Knights who say Nii, or I just feel like I'm on Endor." I said.
"You know, technically it was one of the moons of Endor, it wasn't ACTUALLY Endor." He said.
"Oh, don't start with that." I said, annoyed.
"Well, no, it's an important distinction to make."
"Look, they called it Endor in the frigging MOVIE, you can't really argue that it's-"
"IT'S A BLOODY MOON, SAI!"
"I'LL PUNCH YOU TO THE MOON IN A SECOND!"
Our arguing ended suddenly when Slenderman appeared. "GUYS..." He said, to which we panicked at the same time.
Sai: Oh, frig, it's that annoying guy! Quick, get the frig out of here, oh Jesus Christ!
Damion: Oh, bugger, it's that freak over there! Oh, bugger, let's get the bloody hell out of here!
We took off to what we thought was a safe distance, but we could still hear him. "I just wanted to inform you that it's actually called the forest moon of Endor." He said.
"We do not care, piss off! Ugh! That guy's such a frigging nerd, I hate him SO MUCH. He's like an evil Ben Stein." I said.
"On the bright side, he wound up directing us to the bus stop." Damion said, pointing, to where we also saw Tsukune.
"Oh, great, he's here, too. What, you couldn't handle a day of training, so you're giving up?" I asked.
"No, I hope you guys didn't tell Moka that, but I'm just-." He started before being interrupted.
"Where do you get off calling her Moka?" The leader of Moka's fan club said.
"Oh, not this again." I said as we turned to face them.
"She's one of our sacred goddesses, so how dare you say her name so lightly, you punk!" He snapped.
"The only punks I see around here are you creeps." I said.
"OH! He just DISSED YOU!" Damion laughed.
"We don't know where you three are planning on going." The fat one said.
"But you're off of school ground now, so that means the three of us can do this!" The tall one said as they transformed.
The leader put his cup over his head and turned into a giant, one-eyed umbrella with a weird mouth, the tall one just extended his neck to be the length of a large snake and the fat one just became fatter, slimier and lost his eyes and mouth.
"Oh, good, maybe now he can't run his mouth." Damion said, sweatdropping.
"I don't even want to touch these guys to hit them. Fortunately, I don't have to," I said, pulling out the Blue Rose. "All I wanna do is!" I said, shooting the fat one 4 times, but the bullets bounced off of him. "... Dammit, Nero!" I said, putting the gun away.
"Ha! Well, now you're out of tricks, so that means you're done for!" The fat one laughed.
"Dammit, he can STILL run his no-longer-existent mouth." Damion said annoyed.
"Anyway, as for being out of tricks, I think you'll find I NEVER run out of tricks." I said, pulling out a Pokeball. I tossed it into the air, causing it to open and release Yanmega (for those of you wondering, I am basically clueless about Pokemon after Diamond and Pearl, so from 1st to 4th generation is all you will see).
"A big dragonfly? What's that gonna do?!" The leader smirked in a cocky tone.
"Oh, nothing much, just flap his wings so fast he'll make hypersonic waves to cause you guys HORRIBLE internal damage." I said, matching his smirk (I actually have a book about all Pokemon up to the 4th generation, minus Shaymin and Darkrai, that says Yanmega can do that).
"Yanmega!" It buzzed in response, then flew up and did exactly what I said it would, horribly injuring them and bringing them to their knees.
"Why didn't you tell me about THOSE when we were training?!" Tsukune asked.
"A: I forgot, B: I thought we were teaching you to defend yourself." I explained.
"Plus, we wanted to put you through crippling physical trauma." Damion explained.
At that moment, Kurumu flew down to us, carrying Moka and Yukari. "Question: Why do I always have to carry you guys everywhere?" She asked, sounding strained from their weight.
"Maybe we should've had HER do all the physical training Tsukune did." I said.
"She probably wouldn't complain as much." Damion agreed.
"I'm sorry, this is my fault, I can't remember the magic spells to make us fly." Yukari apologized.
"Guys, this can wait! Tsukune and the others can't." Moka said as they landed.
"Oh, hey girls, good to see you. You three can finish these guys off. Yanmega just did most of the work and I don't wanna touch those things." I said. (I've been meaning to have Moka fight the next few fights, anyway.) I thought.
"Oh, you think we're done now?! Come on guys, it's time to combine!" The leader said as they did so, becoming an even lamer, blobier monster.
"You guys HONESTLY shouldn't have said anything." Damion said.
"I'm losing hope in this anime more and more." I said.
"That's it, let's get 'em!" The thing announced, rushing at us.
It managed to get close enough to attack. Damion and I jumped back, but Tsukune, of course, was too stupid to do so, he just flinched. "DOOOOOODGE!" I shouted.
I withdrew Yanmega and shot the monster in the knee, managing to trip it while Damion and I walked around him and back to the girls, where Tsukune removed Moka's rosary.
"Another pointless plot device." Damion said.
"Huh?" I asked.
"Tsukune's ONLY job in this anime is to take off the rosary and get into trouble, but they don't need to take off the rosary, Moka just needs to get pissed enough. Remember in Episode 9?" He said.
"Yes, I remember now, but I'm gonna stop you there, no spoilers." I told him.
"Right. Oh, by the way, thanks for skipping over the friendship speech." He said.
"Hey, stop ignoring us! As for you Moka, please come and accept our love!" It said, rushing at us.
"Never, not even if you were the last monster on Earth." She said, then looked at me. "You have anything that could trip them up?" She asked.
"One ice patch, comin' right up." I said, tossing a Pokeball to release Glalie, which shot an ice beam to freeze the ground in front of the stupid monster, causing it to fall so Moka could kick it better or something. "You know, now that I keep watching, I'm glad I skipped so much of this episode. This scene alone has way too many fail moments." I said.
"Get lost, losers! Know your place!" She said, kicking them away.
"And it's HOOOOOOOOOME RUN!" I announced.
They broke apart, muttered something about being the Vampire fan club and passed out.
"If they're the vampire fan club, I'm gonna feel sorry for being one, since they'll be my fans." Damion said.
"Now, back to you three. You're leaving doesn't work for me. Tsukune, if you left, there'd be no more blood for yours truly." She said, putting her hands on her hips.
"Told ya, man, you're her walking vending machine." I smirked.
"And if any of you three left, the other Moka would be devastated. It would make her cry and break her heart." She explained.
"I'm not leaving, I just need to send this pigeon to the human world to tell my friends back at DMC about the school. If I didn't, you could expect a war that you wouldn't be able to win." I said.
"Same here, I'm sending some letters to my family." Damion said.
"Me too." Tsukune said.
"But you two had packed bags!" Yukari objected, pointing at Damion and Tsukune, who reached into said bags to reveal a bunch of letters.
The bus driver finally showed up and after asking if he'd mail their letters and send my pigeon to the other side, he left. After which, Damion elbowed me in the side to get my attention. "So, hey, why didn't you just have one of your Pokemon go through and mail that letter for you?" He asked.
My exact reaction was, "... DAMN YOU, HINDSIGHT!"
The next day in class...
"Due to some construction delays, it took a little longer than anticipated, but at long last, class, I'm happy to announce that there is now a payphone in the campus store, one that will connect you to the human world." Ms. Nekonome said.
"WHAT?!" Tsukune, Damion and I demanded all rising from our seats. (If I'd known that was going to happen, I wouldn't have spent all that time training that DAMN pigeon or writing that letter. I fucking HATE writing!) I thought.
"Also, the bust that only came here once a month? Due to overwhelming demand, it will now be coming here every day." She said.
"Now there's two things pissing me off, yet are also advantages." I said quietly. Then I turned back to talk to Kurumu. "Well, that's good news for me, Kurumu, since now I can call my GIRLFRIEND up from time to time." I said with a smirk.