It was an outstanding day for the Newspaper club, we were selling newspaper like napalm grenades! … I mean, um... Hot cakes! "Get your own copy of the Yokai Gazette!" Moka said, holding out papers.
"This issue's hot off the presses, people!" Kurumu announced.
"Wait 'til you take a peek at what's inside." Yukari said, holding them out.
"Hey, I'll take one." One guy said.
"Pass one over here, too!" A girl called out.
"They've even got strategies for the final exams." Another guy read.
"Wow, the new issue sure is sellin' like hot cakes, huh?" Gin asked as we stood behind the stand... Well, they stood, I was relaxing in a chair.
"Yeah, it's great after all the work we put into it." Tsukune agreed.
"I told you it was a good idea to have the girls hand out the papers." I said, raising a hand as if to say "I told you so", with my feet on the table.
"I'm amazed there haven't been any perverted comments yet." Damion said.
"You know, I'm also amazed you guys forgave me after what happened." Gin said.
"I'm amazed, too." I said with a sigh.
"Gonna get over it?" He asked, getting a simultaneous response from me and Damion.
Sai: "Fuck no!"
Damion: "SCREW YOU."
"We did it, we really did it, we got rid of all of 'em!" Yukari cheered, holding up the empty box.
"Well, looks like this issue was another big hit for us!" Kurumu said happily.
"Looks like this issue of the paper was another big hit for us." Kurumu said, wiping sweat off of her forehead.
"Hey, guys! What do you say we throw ourselves a big rap party for once, we can all bring some snacks!" Moka said happily.
"Hell yeah!" I said, now wearing a wife-beater (or, if you prefer, tank top), a bunch of chain necklaces, sunglasses and a bandana, holding a microphone.
"Alright!" Damion said, holding a stereo on his shoulder.
"That's a great idea." Tsukune said.
"Sounds like a good plan to me!" Yukari said, raising her hands in the air. She seems to enjoy doing that.
"Wait, hold on, has anyone seen Gin?" Moka said.
"Strange, he was here just a second ago." Tsukune wondered, pointing to where he was.
"Damn, even after Sai blew up the moon, he's still faster than the eye can see." Damion said.
"Are you still on about that?" I asked. Seriously, I don't see what the problem is. The moon came back, so what's the big deal if I blew it up?
"Whatever. He's probably out hitting on girls again, don't you think?" Kurumu said.
Not too far away...
"Right? That article is pretty interesting." He said with a small laugh. He was walking with two girls and it looked like he was rubbing the ass of the girl closest to him. "The Newspaper club is looking for sexy models for a photo shoot. I can get you an audition!" He said.
"Wow, she was dead on the money, whee-hee!" Kou said.
Damion ran up and slammed Gin's head into the ground.
"It's okay, I got him." I said, pressing the retract button on the leash handle I had which retracted the cord and dragged Gin back across the ground.
"Forget about him, he's not invited." Kurumu said with her hands on her hips.
"Wait, what are we talking about?" Gin asked.
"A rap party for the club you're apparently not invited to." I said.
"Yeah, you jerk, you're the enemy of all women!" Yukari said angrily.
"More importantly, what should we do for the party?" Kurumu asked.
"I thought it was a rap party. Where we rap." I said.
"We should buy some snacks at the campus store!" Moka said.
"Yeah, we should get some drinks, too, right?" Yukari asked.
"I got the booze!" I said, holding up a bottle of Dr. McGillicuddy (my favorite) and Jack Daniels.
"Hell yeah!" Damion said, holding up a 12 pack of Bud Light.
"Um... Guys? No alcohol." Tsukune said.
"Tsukune...STOP BEING SUCH A LITTLE BITCH!" Damion shouted, punching him in the face to knock him out.
"Alright, then it's a plan! After class, we'll meet up at the Newspaper club with the snacks." Kurumu said. "Do you guys wanna play some games while we're there?" She asked.
Suddenly, I got a strange feeling. "I sense a disturbance in the force." I said, then turned around to see a girl with purple hair, purple and pink striped leggings, a strap on her left thigh going up her skirt, a white sweater with blue arms with a belly pocket and a cute pendant around her necklace.
She pulled a lollipop out of her mouth and spoke. "You guys are all buddy-buddy, aren't you? You Newspaper clubbers." She asked. The rest of them turned around and noticed her. "Bet you all like each other. Truly, I've never understood that way of thinking." She said.
"Correction. I don't like her. Or him." I said, pointing to Kurumu and Tsukune. "As for not understanding friendship, it's not that hard. You guys talk to people who you enjoy the company of." I said
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean, huh?" Kurumu demanded, glaring at the girl, then glaring at me, growling.
"I could go for a Blooming onion right now." I said, holding my stomach (For those of you that don't know, I think it's mostly a Vermont thing. It's a bunch of onion half-rings shaped into a crown or flower).
The girl put the lollipop back in her mouth and spoke again. "Newspaper." She said. They all looked confused until she held her hand out. "Can I have one?" She asked.
"Oh, yeah, sure. It may be a little wrinkled, though." Damion said, pulling the paper out of Tsukune's pocket, then handing it to her. She took it, then got a little closer to his face. "So, you're the famous Damion, huh? You're a lot cuter than I thought you'd be, you know." She said happily.
"He has his scary moments." I said, before being taken off my feet by a knife thrown into my head.
"Ignore him." Damion said.
"Well, see ya later." She said, walking off.
"I think she likes you, man." I said, shaking him jokingly.
"Seems like it." He said, yanking the knife out of my head.
"Who was that girl, do you know her?" Moka asked either of us.
"Nuh-uh." I said.
"Never seen her before in my life." Damion said.
"Whoever she is, I don't like her." Kurumu said.
"Yeah, tell me about it, ugh." Yukari said in a creeped out tone.
"You guys are WAY too judgmental." I said.
"Anyway, let's just suffer through class to have the best party EVER that none of us will remember." Damion said, raising a bottle of Vodka, to which we all cheered.
Later in class...
"Kurumu?" Ms. Nekonome asked.
"Here." She replied.
"Mr. Sato?"
"Present."
"Ms. Shirayuki?"
There was no answer this time.
"Ms. Shirayuki?" Ms. Nekonome asked again. And again, there was nothing. "Well, I guess she must be out again today." She said, sadly.
Suddenly, the door opened and the girl from before walked in and took a seat in front of Tsukune. "I'm thrilled you decided to join us today!" Ms. Nekonome said happily, to which the girl simply nodded. "Moving on, then. Since we have a new student here, I guess introductions are in order. This is Mizore Shirayuki. Extenuating circumstances have prevented her from taking class up until now. But everyone please be nice and treat her like a friend." She said happily. Moka and Tsukune then panicked like bithces once again.
"That's not being nice and treating her like a friend. What are you even freaking out for, anyway?" Damion asked.
"Oi, Saizou. What the hell are extenuating circumstances?" I asked.
"Either she's done somethin' real bad and they're waiting to try her on it, or she's been refusing to come to class until now." He explained.
"Sounds fun." I said.
Later, in the hallway...
"Alright, we'll buy snacks and head to the party." Moka said.
Kurumu walked up and pressed her boobs into my chest. "Hey, guess what, I have a homemade treat with your name written all over it." She said, rubbing her boobs into my chest.
"Hey, hold on! Don't you think you're getting a little close, there?" Moka said, pulling Kurumu away.
"Hey, oh come on! Hold on!" She said as she was pulled away.
"What should we do?" I asked Damion.
Suddenly, we both saw someone behind us. "Who's there?" Damion asked.
Mizore popped out from the corner at that moment. "Hello." She said.
"Oh, hey, Mizore, right? You need something?" Damion asked.
"Hey, Damion, maybe she could be your date to the party." I said, nudging him slyly, until he stabbed me again.
She walked up and held out the paper from before. "I read your paper. As usual, your articles are the most entertaining." She said.
"Mine? Yeah, I know, I like to talk about arson a lot." I said, proud of myself for actually getting my arson articles approved.
"No, sorry, I meant Damion's." She said.
"You're familiar with my work?" He asked.
She then reached into her pocket and held out a book with a...
"That looks like the Kingdom Hearts symbol on the front." I said, holding out my Keyblade (it kinda looks like Oblivion, but more fire oriented and flame designed) , pointing it at the book, seeing if it would reveal the keyhole. It didn't.
She handed it to Damion, then explained. "Even when I wasn't in school, Ms. Nekonome always brought over an issue of the Yokai Gazette for me to read." She said.
"That's nice of her." I said.
"Out of all the articles, the only ones I really find interesting are yours." She told Damion.
"Why doesn't anyone like my arson articles?" I said, disappointed, hanging my head low with anime depression above my head (like in Soul Eater when Black Star and Tsubaki asked Maka and Soul how their kishin hunting was going in episode 2... Or actually like what Tsukune did when HE was looking at the book).
"I scribbled in a bunch of my own comments and ideas." She said. "It's just that I like all the articles you write. You're always writing from the point of view from the lonely and depressed, so I can really relate." She said.
"What about me? I write things from the funny, badass point of view and talk about lighting things on fire! What could be cooler than that?!" I asked.
"Your personality and the way you think about things is a lot like me and the way I think." She said, leaning into him. "You must be lonely and a lot like me, huh? Trust me, I know exactly what that's like." She said.
"... Am I being ignored?" I asked.
Later in the faculty room...
Ms. Nekonome appeared to be writing something when the gym teacher came over. "Ms. Nekonome." He said.
"Yes, hello, there!" She said, happily.
"Are you aware there's a girl in your class who's been refusing to attend class?" He asked. "I think her name is Mizore Shirayuki. I just got word that she showed up for the first time." He said.
"Oh, yes Mr. Kotsubo, that's right." She said happily.
"If I were you, I'd be very careful with that one," He warned, to which she meowed to signal she didn't understand, "She hasn't attended a single class since she enrolled, it's only prudent to assume she's been dealing with a very serious issue." He said.
Then, the math teacher, Ms. Ririko (or as Damion calls her, Ms. Bitchyko) walked up. "On top of that, her school records indicate that along with having a very unusual personality, she caused quite a few problems in Junior High." She said.
"In other words, to ensure she doesn't cause a bad influence for the other students, we wanna make sure that you keep an eye on her and keep her on a short leash at all times." He said.
"Yeah, I'll keep an eye out." Ms. Nekonome deadpanned, not wanting to have to do stuff.
Later, at the pond...
Mizore threw a rock that skipped 9 times. "Hey, did you see that, Damion? That last one skipped 9 times!" She said excitedly, pointing.
"Yeah, good job." Damion said.
"Why am I here?" I asked, putting a finger on my chin in confusion.
"Hey, Mizore, would you like to come to a party with us? We're almost running late for a rap party we're having with our club, but you're more than invited to come." Damion said.
"Yeah, it's gonna be fun." I said imagining how the night would go...
We'd party for the longest time, then everything would black out. Then in the morning, there'd be dead bodies of the other students everywhere and I'd pop up with a bottle of Jack from nowhere with sunglasses and a party hat on. "I'm SO WASTED." I slurred...
"Good times!" I said.
"Um... Okay. You don't just want to see the others, do you?" She asked.
"The only reason I ever show up to a party is to eat the good food and get wasted with a VERY select group of my friends." I said, remembering the last party I went to at Gallows Manor.
I was in a food eating contest against Black Star and Soul, kicking their asses to the point I was taking some of Black Star's food and still winning, then Crona, Maka, Liz and I got so drunk we were doing Karaoke and fell off the stage, crashing onto dinner tables. "I'm SO WASTED." I said, then passed out.
"Those were the days." I said, nodding happily.
"Actually, I do it for the same reason." Damion said.
So we did. We went to the party, explained why Mizore was there, started eating and drinking, I started doing great songs by Eminem (Cold Wind Blows, Til I collapse and Talkin' 2 Myself) with Damion singing back-up, or the parts where Em doesn't sing, until I passed out and fell face-down and Damion fell back and passed out. "I'm SO WASTED." I said, before passing out (I think I just skipped 70% of this episode).
I woke up the next morning and, seeing Kurumu passed out on the couch, still LONG from waking up, I did one of my favorite-to-do-to-someone-else/least-favorite-to-have-happen-to-me drunk pranks, The Coffin, which you take another couch, put it on top of the other one in a way to basically entomb them, they wake up and freak the fuck out. Then I started drawing a bunch of inappropriate stuff all over Tsukune's face as Damion woke up and put Tsukune's hand in a bucket of warm water. I then noticed something, though. The only unconscious body I didn't see was Mizore's. "Hey, where did Mizore go?" I asked.
Later at the track...
Gym class was over for the day and two girls were walking back to their dorms as they passed Ms. Kotsubo. "Hey, Mr. Kotsubo. See you later." The first one said.
"Have an awesome day." the other one said as they continued walking.
"Thanks. Be careful on the way home, girls." He said, then stared at their asses as they walked away. "Dammit, I'll tell you what, students these days develop way too freaking fast." He said, walking into the woods. He then noticed Mizore, who was just barely waking up from her drunken stupor. "Hey, you, what are you doin' out here?" He asked. She then turned a little to face him. "Oh, it's you." He said.
Later...
I was laying on the ground on fire, trying to wake myself up from the hangover, Damion was in a corner, hitting his head up against the wall, Mizore just barely woke up and freaked out about the coffin, Moka just barely got up, along with Tsukune and Yukari, not having been drunk, but did overexert herself, noticed the profanity I drew on his face and broke out laughing, as did everyone else. Suddenly, we heard a big commotion from outside.
"I wonder what all the racket is about out there." Yukari wondered, walking over to the door and opening it.
Just as she did, Ms. Nekonome came running by. "Oh, thank goodness. You guys are still here." She said.
"Yeah, what's going on?" Moka asked.
"What's the matter, did something happen?" Tsukune asked, which drew Ms. Nekonome's attention, to which she laughed for a little bit, before remembering her situation.
"Yes, your classmater Mizore has gone and gotten herself into a lot of trouble." She explained.
Later, in the infirmary...
"Mizore did this? She went and froze Mr. Kotsubo?" Moka asked, looking at Mr. Kotsubo, who was laying in a hospital bed, covered in bandages.
"If all she did was freeze him, I see no need for the bandages. Get this motherfucka some more blankets." I said.
"I'm afraid she did. He was discovered right away, so his life isn't in danger or anything." Ms. Nekonome said.
"Never underestimate hypothermia." I said darkly.
"That doesn't make sense. She wouldn't just do something like that, do you have any proof she did this?" Damion asked.
"Proof? Who needs proof? When we found him, Mr. Kotsubo himself told us Mizore was the one who did it." Ms. Ririko said.
That caught my ear. "Hold on, what?! 'Who needs proof'? Everyone! You can't have a court case and just say 'they did it'. That's no way in hell a fair trial. You need evidence like the shit they had on OJ for something like this. You can't just say she did it without any proof. That's called an unlawful accusation." I said.
"How the hell do you know that?" Damion asked. "That seems WAY too ellaborate for you. It's like how Kurumu makes sense when she's supposed to be a total blonde." Damion said.
"Oh, well, you see, two of my older sisters that never leave me alone are lawyers who always tell their stories about lawsuits and stuff they won. That's why I HATE Thanksgiving." I said.
"She was a problem child from the get-go. We really should've expelled her from school A LOT sooner." She said.
"Did you not listen to anything I just said? That's like saying any shady looking person on the corner in New York has a gun." I said
"And also, she-" Ms. Nekonome said, then dropped down, dismissing it.
"Sheeeee?" I said, stretching out the word and wheeling my arm, something I do as a nice way of saying "SPIT IT THE FUCK OUT!".
"What about Mizore, where is she?" Moka asked.
"For now, the entire faculty is out combing the grounds for her. And of course, once we find her, there's no doubt in my mind she'll be expelled at once." Ms. Ririko said.
"It just doesn't make sense? Why would she go and do that to Mr. Kotsubo of all people?" Moka asked.
"We need VALID, IRREFUTABLE proof that she did this. Just like what Death Battle DOESN'T have as to how they get some of their QUESTIONABLE outcomes." I said.
Suddenly, the door opened and Gin walked in. "Hey, I couldn't help overhearing what you were just saying. I happen to have valid, irrefutable proof she did it IN SELF DEFENSE." Gin said, holding up his camera. "I got some snapshots for an awesome new scoop." He said.
"Snapshots for..." Moka started.
"An awesome new scoop?" Kurumu and Yukari asked.
"Yeah, gather 'round." He said, pulling out the pictures he must've taken. Damion and I walked up and took the pictures, that revealed Kotsubo trying to molest Mizore. Damion started trembling in rage, but then he put his hand on Gin's shoulder, surprising everyone.
"Gin. Thank you, I was wrong. You're not so bad after all." He said.
"Thanks, man. I appreciate it." Gin replied.
"Good boy, Gin. You want a biscuit, boy? You want a biscuit?" I said, pulling out a biscuit, to which he turned into his monster form and begged for. "Have a biscuit!" I said, tossing it to him, which he happily ate.
Damion wheeled around at that moment, glaring in rage at what WOULD'VE been Kotsubo lying in bed, wounded and defenseless, but instead was only an empty bed. "He's gone." He said.
"I have a pretty good idea where he's going." I said uneasily.
It hit Damion just at that moment. "We need to go, NOW!" He said, bolting out about as fast as Gin could move.
"Gin. I need you to help me, man. I still have a hangover, I need you to carry me there." I said.
"Got it." He said, grabbing me and running, the others close behind.
Meanwhile, at a cliff...
Mizore was looking out at the sea, wondering what she should do, when suddenly, Kotsubo's tentacles came over and reached for her. "They know my secret now, Shirayuki! So you must die!" He said, trying to grab her with the tentacles.
"Gin, use quick attack!" I said.
He dropped me next to Damion and started rushing, surrounded by the aura of light that comes with a Quick Attack. "Ginei, Ginei, Ginei, Ginei-Ginei-Ginei-Ginei GINEI!" He shouted, ramming into Kotsubo, almost sending him back off the cliff.
Damion quickly grabbed Mizore and jumped back to a safe distance. "Are you okay?" He asked worriedly.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you. All of you." She said, looking at Damion, then me, then Gin, then the girls (Tsukune included XD).
"Sai! It's time." Damion said.
"Right. Soul Eater rip-off, comin' up." I said, becoming a flash of light, which Damion then caught and swung around stylishly, then took a stance as the light faded to reveal a badass black katana with a blade as big as Damion with a red fire design on the blade.
"Whoa, what the hell?!" Tsukune freaked out again.
"Just... Don't... Talk." I told him.
"Yeah, Tsukune, shut your mouth, or I'll shut it for you." Damion snapped.
"Damion, you can see his soul, right?" I asked.
"Yes. It's a kishin egg. More disgusting than usual." He said.
"In that case, let's end him. And we'll have to be sure it's PAINFUL." I said.
Damion then smirked. "Right." He said.
He rushed in, faster than the eye could trace and with a swift motion, expertly and effortlessly sliced off one of his tentacles with a clean blow. "Ugh. Even his blood on my blade feels disgusting. I'm 'onna need a shower after this." I said.
"Then let's wrap it up quick." Damion said, rushing and cutting off the rest of the tentacles.
"ARGH! You little bastards! I'm gonna gut you, Damion! Then I'm gonna break that shiny blade of yours in half, Sai!" Kotsubo screamed.
"Won't happen. My brother used me to cut through a lava monster an I was fine plus I've blocked a punch from Asura in this form. I doubt you're that strong." I said.
"DIE!" He said, rushing in.
"You ready for this?" He asked, looking at me.
"Just waiting on you." I said.
"Cheeky bastard. Let's do this." He said, taking a stance.
"Let's go, SOUL RESONANCE!" We both announced, powering up. We gave off a massive aura that shook the whole area, raising rocks and even a few trees off of the ground as Damion prepared to strike and my blade became massive: 15 feet long, full of the power to destroy evil.
"KISHIN HUNTER!" Damion announced, rushing in and completely slicing Kotsubo in half. "It's over." He said, then took a "Nin" stance, before slicing Kotsubo up, literally into sushi rolls. "Goodbye." He said, tossing me up into the air where Kotsubo's soul was.
I returned to human form and ate it happily, becoming even more powerful. "I can just FEEL the power surging through me! That was my 99th soul. This close. Now all I need is the soul of a wi-" I said, before remembering Yukari was there. "WICKED dictator, killing his people." I lied.
"Good cover." Damion said.
Later...
"Well, that was certainly a fight to remember." Gin said.
"Yeah, thanks to all of you, it looks like Mizore's gonna get off without being expelled." Ms. Nekonome said.
"She's gonna get off?" I asked, thinking she meant the sexual meaning.
"Sai..." Damion said in a warning tone.
She then suddenly entered the room when we all noticed something. "Hey, your hair is different." Moka said.
"I decided to shorten it. Does it look okay?" She asked.
"It looks beautiful." Damion said, almost awestruck.
"Yeah, it's the same length as Damion's now." I said, pointing at him.
"I think it looks super duper good on you!" Ms. Nekonome said energetically.
"It feels cheesy to say, but I feel like I've been reborn. So I thought maybe I'd start with a brand-new hairdo." She said.
"Yeah, it looks awesome, it makes you look really photogenic." Gin said, holding up a camera. "Let's get a shot of you right now." He said, taking a picture.
Damion grabbed the camera and crushed it. "Gin. You're on my good side now, don't push it." He said.
"Yeah, that's right, nice going on those pictures, Gin. I don't know how you managed to get 'em." Tsukune said.
"Yeah, way to go. Those photos were a big help, without them we couldn't have proven Mizore's innocence." Moka said.
As he started laughing triumphantly, one thing popped into my mind. "One thing, though. If you were there, why didn't you just save Mizore in the first place?" I asked him.
"... Dammit, Hindsight." He said dropping his head and scratching it.