Chapter 60 - New Years Resolution

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Bella brought a hand up to cover her mouth before yet another yawn could escape.

But of course, nothing would get past Edward and his ever watchful eyes.

The morning light was beginning to trickle through the blinds, so everything in the room stood out more clearly to him now despite it still being somewhat early.

"You think you're stealthy, Swan, but, your yawns sound like little lion roars," he chided her ruthlessly. "Why aren't you sleeping? You really should sleep while you can."

"You'd love that wouldn't you," she scowled at him and then nestled back into her pillow, pulling her cocoon of blankets and comforter tighter around her.

A low, rumbling chuckle escaped him as he reached forward and brushed an errant strand of hair from her forehead. "For the umpteenth time, yes, I get that you think I'm a creep for watching you while you're sleeping, but honestly there is nothing perverse or morally questionable about it, at all."

"Sure, sure...If that's what you need to tell yourself... "

"I do the same thing with Tony. It's an urge, a calling, it's a male thing. "

"A male thing? "

"We are all products of evolution. Biologically speaking, you and Tony and the unborn one, you're all part of my little herd now. As a male my sole purpose — aside from reproducing of course — is to protect and provide for the herd."

"You're joking right?"

"No, I'm actually being serous. I could elaborate, but that would only lead to a much too long and frankly ill-advised conversation to be having with the kid in the room," he shot back, giving a pointed glance at Anthony, who was snoozing contentedly in the space between them on the bed. "I guess what I'm saying is that I've developed this strange need to reassure myself that you're still around and doing okay."

"Right… I get it, I think. Though, if you ask me, I'd say it sounds more like you're having a natural reaction to nearly being crushed under a falling roof."

"Yeah, there is that too… But honestly this thing started way before all that snow came down upon us. Since one of the very first nights in the cabin, really. You were talking about leaving and things were strained between us and... you know, complicated… Good things always tend to slip away the moment I start wanting them to stick around."

"Wait! That's how long this 'herd-watching-thing' has been going on? You really are a creep! And also are you saying you want me to stick around? That you've made up your mind about us? "

"You can stay as long as you need. I'm not going to run you out of the house or anything," he shrugged, giving her the vaguest answer that came to mind, pretending he didn't understand her question.

"That's not what I meant," she frowned at him. "You're confusing me. I kind of lost focus when you started comparing me to a breeding cow."

"I know what you meant." The mattress dipped as he shifted onto his side so he could face her fully before he reached over the sleeping boy and squeezed her hand. "We are going to be raising a child together and I am planning on being involved in one capacity or another, so you're pretty much stuck with me for the next eighteen years or so."

"Yeah, but how, exactly, are we going to do this?"

"That's the million dollar question, isn't it?" he said, more to himself than to her. "Look, you're still supposed to avoid anything stressful or upsetting. I suggest we rest now and talk later… like next-year-later."

"Next-year-later?" Her brows came together. " Seriously Edward, you're taking procrastinating to a whole new level."

"Have you forgotten what day it is today?" he chuckled and then waited for realization dawn on her face.

"Holy crap, it's new years already!" Bella groaned while she did a facepalm. "How the heck did that happen?"

"Dunno," he shrugged, secretly pleased that he had managed to steer the conversation towards a more light-hearted topic. "But you've been getting awfully forgetful as of lately."

"Have not," she stuck her tongue out at him. "I feel like someone stole a month or two."

A month or two?! Edward's eyebrows went up, because there was a lot he could have said in regards to that, but he chose to let it pass. Instead he kept his tone calm and his words teasing. "So you've had no time to polish your New Year's resolutions then, I take it?"

"I never do that."

"What, no New Year's resolutions? Well, this year you really should make some… and you're lucky, because I'm gonna help you get started."

"Lucky me," she muttered darkly.

"Hey," he squeezed her hand gently. "Humor me," he insisted, and then made his voice high-pitched for effect as he continued, "I, Isabella Marie Swan, will not lie or withhold the truth."

"Okay, one, I do not sound like that! And two, I'm not a dishonest person; I'm just picky about what information people need to know. It's an occupational habit."

"It's also kinda rude. So you really should try and work on that one," Edward pointed out, before he continued. "Now, here comes the next one; I, Isabella Marie Swan, will volunteer relevant information without being asked. Shouldn't be too hard. It sort of goes hand in hand with the first one."

"Relevancy is relative," Bella shot back, slightly amused but also pretty irritated at the same time. "What I consider relevant, others may not and vice versa."

"Alright, how about this one; I, Isabella Marie Swan, I will not fail to admit and correct my mistakes."

"I see where you're going with this. This is all part of your plan to make me grovel."

"It's all character building and good for the soul."

"You do realize that owning up to one's mistakes is only about the hardest thing a person can do, right?"

"Then there should be plenty of room for improvement."

"I can certainly try, but…."

"Fair enough. Trying is more than I thought I would get," Edward answered in a tone she couldn't quite read. "That one might be the one that's hardest to live up to, but I've saved the most important one for last."

"Great…there is more?!"

"Don't you want to hear what it is before you get all whiny on me?"

"I guess," she grumbled and he smirked at her.

"This is a good one… I, Isabella Marie Swan, will not withhold sex as a punishment or for any reasons that have selfish intent."

"Hey!" she huffed indignantly, her fist reaching out to punch his shoulder. "That has never happened… like ever. When did I withhold sex?!"

"I just thought I should throw that in there when I had the chance. Maybe even get it in writing, because supposedly new parents never get to have sex…. like ever. Not enough time, not enough energy. Not enough sleep…. "

"A slight exaggeration, I'm sure…. but thank you for pointing that out to me."

"I'm only repeating what I've been told. Why do you think there are so many one-child families out there?"

"Geez that's depressing. I'm changing the subject and that's that," she informed him, with a shake of her head. "In order to keep things fair and equal, I think that you too need to have New Years resolutions. But seeing that I'm much nicer than you are, I'm going to let you decide yours yourself without too much interference."

"How very generous of you," he shot back without missing a beat. "Let me think… Off the top of my head only one comes to mind, right now. I, Edward Cullen will stay far, far away from my father's twelve year old malt whiskey."

"Is that all?" she queried, incredulously. Though, truth be told, she was not that surprised. She had already heard Emmett mutter something to the same extent over breakfast the other day.

"Fine…. No whiskey for a year and I'll try and limit my beer consumption to a reasonable amount. Better?!"

"I was thinking more in the lines of; I, Edward Cullen, resolve to be the best father I can possibly be to my son."

"That one goes without saying though, doesn't it?" Edward looked down at Anthony, letting his hand drift through the sleeping child's hair. "I'm well aware that this little guy deserves to be at the top of my list for self-improvement in the New Year."

"I'm really quite happy to hear you say that. You were singing a completely different tune, not that long ago. Remember that talk about priorities and responsibility that we had? The same day he went missing and you thought he had gone into the lake?"

"How could I forget?" he chuckled darkly. "I don't think I've ever been closer to having a heart attack. Or, well…" he added after a moment's reflection, "the whole roof thing obviously wasn't good for my poor heart either, but that was on a whole different level."

Bella heaved a deep sigh and then shifted carefully on the bed so that she could curl up around the little boy protectively. "I'm glad that at least one good thing has come out of this whole ordeal. I'm glad that you're finally seeing what we've been saying all along; that Anthony deserves at least one parent that cares."

"Mmm…" Edward hummed in agreement. " He deserves more than that, he deserves a SANE and STABLE parent that cares. Actually, this reminds me. I do have one more resolution… sort of…"

"Sort of?"

"I'm actually considering giving therapy a serious try."

"For Tony you mean?"

" I have a referral for Tony to see a Dr Tuan in a few weeks, yes, but you know this already." He closed his eyes for a brief second before he spoke again. "I was actually talking about maybe, possibly setting up appointments for myself to see someone."

"Really? I thought you didn't believe in... Well, you know…You've made no secret of your skepticism on this matter before."

"Maybe it's time I reevaluate that skepticism. I wasn't ready for it as a teenager. As much as my parents were right for trying to get me to see a professional, someone objective to talk too, it wasn't a good fit at the time. I'm not a teenager anymore though, and I think….. I think I could benefit from it."

"Good for you," she said softly.

"That remains to be seen."

"No, I'm serious. Good for you."

Edward studied her for a moment, then looked down, softly clearing his throat. "I hope so. Actually," he added, shifting uncomfortably beside her. "I was hoping that you would tag along for a session or two... Not right away and not like full on couples therapy or anything heavy like that, but yeah… maybe we should talk everything through, like really talk with someone there to help us get to the root of our issues and try and resolve them without it turning into a shouting match."

"Okay."

"Oh-okay? Really?" he asked as if he hadn't heard her correctly and she nodded.

"On one condition. You'll come with me to see Charlie, next time I get a chance to visit him."

"I—of course," he breathed, frowning slightly. "Er…what brings this on? I mean, if you want me to go to Florida to see your old man, I'll go see your old man, but somehow I don't think a visit from me is something Chief Swan would be particularly ecstatic about. I know you've said that he remembers me, but I seriously doubt that he have any fond memories associated with me."

"Aww, just because he waved his gun around and shouted a lot in your presence doesn't mean he's bound to forever hate your guts," she teased him, pinching his cheek. "No wait, it sort of does, actually. You're doomed."

Edward allowed himself to smile.

"Yeah, I've heard he throws a mean punch for an old man, so I think I'll stay out of arms length."

"Your mom told you that?" she asked her expression turning more serious again. " Here's the thing; I want to tell Charlie that he's going to be a granddad and having you there might help him process the news," she explained. "With his Alzheimer's it's hard to predict how he'll react, but with you there he's less likely to mistake me for Renee or, you know, forget that I'm an adult… at least that's what I'm hoping for."

"You forget that the last time he saw me, I was deflowering his teenage daughter. I mean no offence in any sort of way, but you don't think that little detail might confuse him a great deal?" He drove his point home with a hand-gun-to-the-head gesture.

"Maybe I want to see you sweat just as much as you want to see me grovel," she laughed. "If it makes you feel better I can inform you that the chief is unarmed these days, so I don't think it will be THAT bad."

"Admit it, you're just bringing me along to distract him."

"Fine, guilty as charged, but seriously though, I really do think that your presence will make difference, or I wouldn't ask this of you."

"No worries Swan, I know," he said simply, nodding his head in agreement. "So anyway, while we are on the subject of the old chief, I heard mom set him up for some sort of Senior Companion Program that will provide weekly visits."

"Yeah, it's a veteran-to-veteran thing."

"Huh? Your dad is not a veteran thought, is he?"

"Nope, I don't know how your mom swung it, but swing it she did. He'll be getting visits from a mix of retired Marines and former law enforcement officers from across the region. I'm still a bit skeptical, but I hope it will work."

"It will. We'll make it work…. this thing with your dad, I mean. We'll make it work-…" he left the sentence unfinished, and looked up at the ceiling. With their truce so new and raw, it was simply a little too early for promises and commitments.

"If you really mean that, then thanks, I guess."

A semi-uncomfortable silence stretched.

"You're quiet, does this mean we're all talked out now? Anything else you feel we should discuss? Or can we… I don't know… maybe, sleep now? " Edward asked, rubbing his hands against his eyes.

"We could, I suppose, but there is this one little thing I feel I should tell you…"

Edward exaggerated a groan, but let her continue.

"…seeing as I've just promised not to withhold information and everything."

"I'm not going to like this am I?" He frowned. "Out with it already! I'm so tired, I'm talking with my eyes closed."

"It's nothing bad, uhm, I think… It's just that I feel obligated to tell you that Seth will be paying you a visit before he jets off to go home. He should be here soon, actually. I got the impression he has something important he wants to discuss with you in private."

"In private? What's this about? I thought we'd finally get some peace and quiet around here."

"I've been suspended, remember? So technically I shouldn't have any idea what this is all about…."

"But…?" he prompted.

"But they have confiscated the journals, the ones Maria Nahuel mentioned," Bella started. "And apparently they make for a quite interesting read-…" That's how far she got before she was cut off by a muffled cry coming from the bundle toddler limbs on the bed between them.

"And the Boy Wonder is up," Edward groaned, because Anthony wasn't just makingunhappy little noises, he was squirming and trying to get out from underneath his father's arm. "I knew we should have slept when we had the chance."

"Sorry," Bella grinned unapologetically and then laughed aloud when the boy pushed himself up on his hands and knees and darn near suck his diaper clad bum right in his Edward's face.

"Oh daddy, someone needs a bath and a fresh set of clothes."

"Someone needs to be introduced to the potty and big boy underwear," Edward responded, lifting the toddler byhis armpits and sliding off the bed.

"You go do that and I'll just stay right here and here and…. I don't know… sleep."

"Ha-ha funny," Edward retorted. "Come on little stinker, lets blow this joint."

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AN: Happy New Year! I hope you've aIl had a wonderful holiday season.