When a man kisses you on the shoulder, he's saying that you're perfect, you are cherished. This is a sensual, loving kiss, that leads to the lips;

always.

September 2014

She sunk deeply into the tub, the water hot enough to blister causing Kate to hiss as she dropped lower and lower, her skin finally reaching the porcelain depths. Her body ached, throbbed, beat at the underside of her skin, and the water lapped entrancingly at muscles she wasn't aware were tense right up until the moment they were kissed by the gentle crests.

Steam rose, smelling faintly of Castle, every swirl rising up to caress her skin so her cheeks flushed and her hair curled around her face. The beaded droplets slinking from her hairline to fall over her skin and trickle low, hiding the path of her tears. She was grateful for a few seconds of solitude.

He was home, had been for a while, but today something within her had given up holding that rigid edge of discipline and the moment she'd sunk into the water the tears had started to fall uncontrollably. She didn't feel as though a dam had burst, or her heart had shattered or anything near that dramatic, the simple, overwhelming sense of unease merely settled over her and demanded that she pay attention to the ache in her own chest.

He was home, but still a little distant. And she tried to be grateful for one and mindful of the other but, taking a deep breath, Kate slipped beneath the surface of the water and allowed the scalding heat to flare over her face and white out her vision. She sunk under and reveled in the loss of thought and sight and sound, enjoyed the way the water stung her eyes. She winced, when it seeped inside her nostrils, but stayed down listening to the exaggerated clang of her feet when she kicked out and sunk lower. The water poured into her ears and air bubbles rising to the surface that escaped for freedom took the world with them. Her own heartbeat became a metronomic tale she got lost in, that changed beat and rhythm, faster and faster the longer she remained below the surface.

When her lungs started to burn Kate propelled herself up and out of the water, eyes scrunched tight against the invading light of the bathroom, gasping but somehow cleansed of the feelings that had been clinging to her all day, all week. He was home, but not truly with her and as though he could hear her thinking of him, something soft brushed her cheek and Kate's eyes burst open to find Castle at the bathtubs edge, staring down.

His eyes were soft with worry, the lines around them more pronounced now and perhaps his smile didn't come as readily as it once had, but he was who he always had been and she couldn't - nor did she want to - stop her fingers from reaching for him when he touched her. Kate cupped Castle's hand where it brushed her face and she blinked her lashes, peering through water smudged reality.

"How long have you been there?" Kate asked, her voice shaky, but she waited for him to answer without breaking their connection

"A while."

"Are you -?"

"Please! Don't ask me if I'm okay." Castle replied quietly, his eyes dropping from hers and skimming down the length of her bare shoulder where it sat above the water. Her mouth opened, but Castle carried on. "And please don't apologize for asking."

He spoke before she could, apologetic in his own hate for her constant apologies, the ridiculously tentative habit they had fallen into finally rubbing them both raw and she laughed, relieved, the sound startling both of them as it burst free of her chest.

She laughed, and held his hand, pressing her lips to his palm, mouth sliding over his skin when she nodded, agreeable to anything when it brought the light to his eyes that way.

Castle smiled down at her, baffled but amused, his thumb sweeping her lips.

The sudden explosion of merriment trailed off as their eyes remained locked and pressing her lips into a thin line, Kate sat back, drew herself from his touch and took the chance, wanting desperately to have him closer. "If I promise not to, will you climb in with me?"

Castle didn't answer, for seconds that bled into painfully drawn out minutes he just stared down at her, as though deaf to her request. Disappointment flooded her chest, and Kate nodded her head again in understanding - perhaps it was too soon after all - only to catch sight of his hands moving, arms raising and his shirt being lifted over his head.

Bare chested, Castle allowed his t-shirt to pool at his feet before ridding himself of the rest of his clothes. Socks, pants and finally underwear all landing in a heap as the intimate act of stripping in front of her played out almost unnoticed, her eyes never deviating from his.

Kate drew her feet up, knees to her chest as though expecting Castle to step into the other end of the tub and sit facing her, her nervous gesture for him to join her landing heavy in his heart. Instead Castle laid a hand to her head, fingers roving over the damp tendrils of hair until he palmed the back of her neck, the softest touch of encouragement urging her to move.

"Slide forward." His voice was the barest whisper, hardly reaching above the sound of the water lapping against the sides as she obeyed, but to Kate it was thunderous. It was a cacophonous roar above the din that had held them both trapped and she clung to it.

Sliding until her toes touched the furthest end, Kate drew her knees once more into her chest and swiveled to face him. She swallowed hard against the lump rising in her throat, couldn't tear her eyes from him, his quiet expression and soulful gaze holding her attention like nothing else, but as he moved her focus shifted to the controlled power of his body.

Kate watched the ripple and curve of the muscles in his arms as he climbed into the bath with her, his chest stuttering at the first wave of heat that met his skin. She observed the soft muscle turn hard across his biceps with each inch nearer, tense and relaxed alike, his shallow breathing and restrained pace pulled the atmosphere in around them, held them in the moment in a way that, for once in what felt like forever, didn't feel constraining or restrictive, it just felt right. Them!

His toes slid beneath the surface of the water, feet, ankles, shins and knees all sinking deep down with her. She watched the hair on his legs stand erect and then collapse under the pressure, her fingers dancing out to touch the slight raised swell of his knee when it slipped passed her hip. She traced the inner edge where the surgical scar lay, catching at whatever skin swam passed her wet fingers as Castle arranged himself in the water.

Kate found herself between his legs as he settled, dropping to the bottom of the tub with more grace than she'd been able to muster, his feet either side of her own, their toes grazing in ways that spoke of acts only slightly more intimate than sharing a tub.

The hiss of surprise he made when the water sloshed hotly across his stomach made her smile, her head lulling, chin resting on her shoulder to take him in and when his arms opened for her the burn of tears behind her eyes was immediate and unrelenting.

His fingers beckoned, light curls of want as they grasped at the air, calling her closer while she held her breath. Finally he spoke, knowing voice caressing her name in a way that made her eyes close in contentment.

"Come here, Kate."

She felt her lips quiver as she moved, holding it in, holding it back. He was home and the rest could wait, her hands sliding down his thighs, her back to his chest when his arms curled tight around her. It didn't matter if things were a little off kilter, he was home. His hands dwarfed her breasts and he opened his palms to lay one flat over her heart, the other directly beneath, fingers splayed over her belly button and down across her stomach.

His mouth opened at her neck, hot breath dancing against the slick swirl of steam, breathing her in, and when her chest shuddered with the first bitten back sob his thumb skimmed the highest ridge of her cheekbone and drew away the tears.

Curling into him, Kate closed her eyes and waited for the rest of it to be washed away in the hot water and heat of his touch. He kissed her shoulder, pressed his mouth to the tender flesh and lavished it with peppered pecks. He swirled his tongue over her skin and traced the shell of her ear, tilting her jaw to find her lips.

She kissed him back and, for a moment, nothing else mattered.

He was home.