Chapter 32
Run to City Hall, Heather Dunn!
(市役所まで実行、ヘザー·ダン！の巻)
(or "24 Hours for Speedy")

Percival instructed The Gang, as he held the file of the Onigiri proof, made by an anonymous tip. He then ordered to the group, "Okay, guys, lots to do. Kanaka has ordered us to deliver this to City Hall, and deliver it to the UN, by 6:00pm, tonight. I need one of you to deliver it, without any help."

Farra said, "I should help, but I can't in one arm."

Peter smiled, "And I have a lunch date with Mizuki."

Steven C barked, "Steven Cooke is going to help. But whatever the situation, I'll be glad to help you, since I have such energy again."

Percival said, "Good. That is why Heather must deliver it, by 6:00pm."

Heather gasped, "Me?"

Percival remarked, "Sis, you have super speed. You can easily get there, and back, in seconds."

Farra scoffed, "Hah!"

Heather whined, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Farra said, "Darling, isn't using her Increased Suplex cheating? I think I have my ways of knowing. I mean, I can easily get there, if my wing isn't broken."

Heather shouted, "Big deal! I can easily get this proof to City Hall, by 6:00pm! Heather can get the job done, without any help!"

Percival asked her, "Will you make it?"

She replied, "Yeah. Although… I wish I had transportation to get there."

Percival said, "The helicopter is in use, and our van needed gas. So, you're going to have to walk there."

Heather griped in anger, "AUGH! By foot, and I cannot use the Congregated Control?"

Percival said, "Sorry, Step-Sis. But should you succeed, I'll treat you to some dairy-free cookies."

Heather blushed, "Oh, you will?"

Mizuki said, "She's not going to make it."

Peter smiled, "It's lilac time."

Heather grabbed the file and put it in her backpack. She said, "It's 10 in the morning, so, I'll be able to make it, by then… but I need to find the shortest route."

She left the meeting room and headed down the elevator. Percival said, "She forgot to give the instructions. But I think we know she'll make it."

Steven huffed, "Big deal! Steven Cooke would've stayed and get the job done!"

Peter said, "Ah, you know that you've been 1-upped by Heather."

Farra asked, "Tell me. Was there a reason why you chose Heather?"

Percival explained, "Kanaka said that you'd have to be an idiot to deliver the goods to city hall. Also, Heather is simply very speedy and very energetic. Why do you think she's been in shape?"

Mizuki said, "I thought it was something else."

She returned, as she asked, "Uh… Anything else you need, Per?"

He gave Heather $500 of the currency, as he concluded, "Sure. Here's some money to send to City Hall, for saving funds for the cities that were destroyed by Onigiri. We'll need to save these cities, as a whole, before we stop her."

She said, "Shouldn't I spend a little, since I get hungry?"

He replied, "No."

XXXXX

Heather left the HQ, as she looked around the city, looking for City Hall. However, she paused and said, "Wait… It's too late to ask him, but wouldn't it be safer to deliver it to a Post Office?"

She found the closest post office and stepped inside. She found an open window, but the teller slammed the window closed. She pouted, as the teller, with a red suit and skirt, notices her.

"Oh. You're Heather Dunn-Nevins, right?" She asked.

Heather smiled, "Yes. I was on a special delivery for-."

"Yeah, I've heard of you. You helped win the Daten City Footrace of Death. You were very fast."

"Thanks."

"Sonic the Hedgehog doesn't have shit on you, ma'am."

"Uh… Thanks. I was wondering if you deliver this package to…"

She tittered, "City Hall?"

A figure noticed her, as he was concerned.

Heather continued, "Well, the thing is… I have to deliver this to city hall, since it's for the United Nations, but I figured I'd give it to you."

The teller spoke, "Oh, no can do, Ma'am. All parcels direct to the UN shall be delivered to City Hall, at once."

She smiled, "Yeah, well… That's just the thing… I don't know where it is."

The teller explained, "It's not far. Go down east, three blocks down, then make a small right, heading to Mashed and Julian, then head straight north, all the way, until you get there."

Heather bowed and said, "Thank you. It's really a secret delivery to the UN."

The boy gasped, as she continued, "But I can take the walk, since it's 10:15."

The teller said, "Yes, but wouldn't it be easier to take the bus?"

She sighed, "Don't look at me."

She bowed again and left, as the boy, with a spiky black hair and glasses, watched her leave.

"So… A delivery for secret news to the UN. It means one thing… Aliens!" The boy spoke.

Invader Zim's Dib (a.k.a. big fat loser investigator; a.k.a. paranormalist par mediocrity)

Dib said to the teller, "Excuse me, Miss? Did she say to City Hall? I have important documents, too, to the UN."

The teller smiled, "Oh, yes, of course, Mr. Buttmunch, I mean, Mr. Loser."

Dib shouted, "Will you quit calling me that? Man, just because I have proof about aliens, it doesn't mean you can haze at me."

The teller smiled and said, "Maybe you can make it up. Just head to City Hall, before 6:00pm. You head down…"

XXXXX

Heather left the post office, as she started to walk to City Hall. She figured that she has time to kill. However, she ended up walking four blocks from east, and turned left. She then ended up heading three blocks north, due right, and took a sharp turn left.

After twisting and turning each road, and after hours of exhaustion, Heather was lost.

Heather moaned, "Man… I wish I had me speed now. But I forgot what the lady said! Was it three blocks down, heading to Marsh and Stomp by the Twiddle Bay? No, no… Or was it three doors down, heading to the one after 909? No! Uh, head straight ahead, up south… AUGH! Heather is confused! I should've written it down!"

She continued to walk, as she pondered, "Darn it… Was it… Uh… Uh… … … Nash and Hall, by the Airport? Uh… What was it? GAH! I wish I didn't make that ridiculous decree…"

Heather then thought, "Hey! Wait a minute! We never said NO decree! Farra said I can easily do it, without the use of my speed!"

She pouted, "No… I remember… She said that it would be cheating, and I said I can, without it. Shit!"

She calmed down and continued walking, "Uh… Cash, Gash, Sash, Slash, Johnny Bash, Corned Beef and Hash, Snash, uh… what and Juicy?"

She kept walking, for hours, as she was vaguely remembering where she was going. The trouble was, she forgot where it was. Moreover, she had no clue what City Hall looked like.

"Next time I come to this city, I have to take the tour," she said, "But it's too much money."

She walked around, until the sun was starting to sink. She looked at the clock and gasped, "AAH! 2:28?!"

She cringed, "City Hall doesn't close until six… I have three and a half hours to go."

XXXXX

Meanwhile, Dib, with his silver and black briefcase, waited by the courtyard. He had his plan, altogether, but in the wrong way.

He thought, "She's obviously beating me to the punch. A secret? Indeed. She must have awful proof about aliens, including Zim! Zim has not shown up, lately, which give me the perfect opportunity to strike and beat that Irken Invader, once and for all… Once I go to City Hall and give the report to them, I'll have become famous, finally, and have destroyed the Irken Invaders, once and for all. And once that woman is taken out, I'll have her exposed as a fraud, as she is. Only one person can show aliens to the worlds, and that's-!"

A can is thrown at him, "LOSER!"

Dib groaned, "Well… I deserve it… But not for long. Where is she, anyway?"

XXXXX

Heather arrived at a fork in the road, as she groaned, "AAH! I'll never make it! WHAT THE HELL IS CITY HALL?"

She then found a picture of City Hall, as she examined it, "Huh."

The picture showed a huge white marble building, with a pointy roof and two small corner holdings. It was as big as the Mayor's Office.

Heather said, "Huh… So that's what it was. I guess there's no helping it."

She then griped, "But I have about two hours left! SCREW THIS!"

She started to run in place and cried, "MACH 7!"

She dashed off, running in super speed, and continued to run around the city.

Using her super speed, Heather Dunn continued to run around the city, with the photographic memory of City Hall.

She continued to run around, until she found the courtyard. She was exhausted, as she ran for twenty minutes. She found the courtyard and said, "Phew! And with only an hour 40 left. I can deliver this, and the payroll, and go home. Heather's not liking this trip, at all."

Dib said, as he viewed Heather, "Hello, Dunn."

Heather asked, "Huh? Who are you?"

"I am Dib. I am a paranormal investigator. However, not a good one. I have been called names, countless times. In any case, I didn't want to let you expose the secret about aliens, to the UN."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I, and only I, can show proof of aliens! But… My chances and successions were all but failures. I was on my way to expose Zim for what he is. He acts like a human, but he spazzes out, lying his little tongue. He makes evil world domination plans, but he ends up failing them, countless times, thanks to me. But all I wanted was to expose him as the alien he is. But no one cares. The Swollen Eyeballs even wanted to help me, but all I kept getting were false alarms and late entries. If I ever get real proof, and this time, all prepared, with NO interruptions, I will win!"

She jabbered, "Yeah, yeah, Steven Cooke wins in the end. Tough shit. Listen, asswipe! Heather isn't going to let you stop her! And the package I have is simply proof of Onigiri."

Dib exclaimed, "Onigiri is an alien, as they want you to believe."

"IT'S NOT! She's a psychopathic killer! And I want the UN to-."

"NO! Wait! You want the UN to listen to reason about Onigiri… only to make them your slaves! I'm on to you, Miss!"

"Jesus! You're crazy!"

He held up a huge laser gun and said, "Well, then… People say I am crazy, and people call me a bleephole! But your doom will not happen… Zim!"

"I said asswipe, not asshole…"

"Who cares?"

Heather gasped, as Dib went closer, "So, the only way to stop your supersonic speed and your hot looks is by doing the one thing possible – killing you!"

He fired at Heather, as she dodged out of the way. He cried, "NO alien invasion, NO problem!"

She dashed away, as she cried, "DAMN IT! WHY DO PEOPLE THINK OF ME AS A BAD GUY?"

Dib chased her all around the city, as Dib laughed evilly.

XXXXX

Percival, back at HQ, looked at his watch and said, "5:00?! Heather should be back soon!"

Farra said, "Maybe she got lost. Who knows? She is often a clueless scatterbrain."

Peter griped at her, "OH! And I'm not?"

Farra snarled, "Don't get in my business!"

Percival barked, "ENOUGH! I don't know what's going on, but someone has to save Heather and bring her back."

Farra replied, "Well, City Hall is not far from here, and she should've stayed for directions."

Mizuki looked at her iPhone and saw a disturbance. She responded, "Percival, I'm detecting a disturbance, located near City Hall."

Percival gasped, "That's where Heather was going."

He ordered, "EVERYONE! We have to rescue her! The van's filled up, and we need some assistance!"

Farra said, "I'll do it. But I can handle rescuing her."

He cried, "You're nuts! With one arm?"

Farra sobbed, "Heather is my best gal pal! I cannot lose her! She and I were like peas in a pod, out of sexual allure. But need I also remind you that if Heather dies, Steven Nevins would kill you?"

Percival gulped, as he ordered Mizuki, "Mizuki, take the van with Farra. Head to City Hall, at once, and NO goofing off!"

Mizuki nodded, "Understood."

She and Farra left, as Farra grew worried, "Heather… I cannot lose you. And neither does Steven and June."

XXXXX

Heather was running for her life, as Dib kept shooting at her, mistaking her as Zim, his rival from another planet.

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" She cried, as she was running in super speed, "I AM NOT HIM, UH, ZIM!"

Dib cried, "There's a nice alien autopsy with your name on it!"

"I DON'T WANNA DIE!" She screamed.

ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!
Dib destroyed buildings, as Heather was screaming in terror. What's worse is that Dib is stalling for time, since she has 30 minutes left, before City Hall closes. Every mile she ran, and every shot Dib fired, it lasted a whole five seconds.

The van arrived at the city, as smoke engulfed in the buildings. Farra cried, "Heather!"

She barked, "DRIVE!"

The van drove off, as it headed towards the streets.

Heather, however, was cornered, in a dead end. Dib laughs evilly, as he aimed his blaster, "Oh, how sweet my revenge is. This is for everything you did to me, Zim! And finally, I shall get the respect that I needed, and also, be praised for my work! While you, alien, shall enjoy being removed of your-!"

Heather shrieked, "GOD DAMN IT! I'M NOT AN ALIEN!"

Dib sighed, "What a mouth. But not enough to play as a mere human, Zim!"

HONK! HONK!
The van arrived, as Dib turned around. He said, "Huh?"

CRASH!
Dib was run over by the van, driven by Mizuki. Farra and Mizuki cried, "HEATHER!"

Heather smiled, as she dashed to the van, "Am I glad to see you guys?"

Heather buckled up, as Farra cried, "STEP ON IT! We got 25 minutes left, before City Hall closes!"

Mizuki saluted, "I'm on it."

The van drove off, as Dib got up, in pain. He groaned, "Story of my life. Pain. Unbearable. But they said City Hall."

He looked at his watch and cried, "AAAH! And it's closing soon! I have to hurry!"

He ran off, heading to City Hall.

XXXXX

Dib arrived, ahead of The Gang Girls, with ten minutes to spare. He did a Superman pose and laughed, "At last, Earth is finally sav-!"

CRASH!
Dib got run over by The Gang's van… again.

Heather stepped out and cried, "I GOT TEN MINUTES LEFT!"

Dib groaned, as he got up, "You jerk."

He gasped and cried, "NO! Zim!"

He held up his blaster, as Mizuki drove backwards.

WHAM!
He moaned, completely injured, "This isn't my day…" as he was clobbered by the van's fender.

Inside, Farra instructed Heather, "We're running out of time! Deliver the package and let's go! SEVEN MINUTES!"

Heather said to the teller, with white curly hair and a pink sweater, "HERE! Deliver this to the UN, and pronto-loco! Heather is having a very bad day!"

The teller said, "One second…"

She grabbed the package and gave it to the mail carrier. He was in a red hat with a satchel. He dashed off, as the teller said, "Thank you."

Heather sighed, "PHEW! Glad that's over."

Farra said, "And with minutes to spare. Good job, kiddo."

Heather held up the money and said, "This calls for the biggest celebration! Dinner, on me!"

Farra gasped, "AAAH! HEATHER!"

"WHAT?"

She looked at the money and gasped, "WHOA! Percival gave me a huge fu-oh! It's for the charity."

She turned to the window and said, "Uh, yeah. Can you make a charitable deposit for $500, to help protect and rebuild our AU cities?"

She was given paperwork, as blasts began to explode.

Heather cried, "It's that asswipe!"

Farra yelled, "I'll hold him off! Get that paperwork done, and fast!"

The time is 5:57. Heather began to write and fill in the paperwork, frantically, as Farra, with one arm, starts firing her bazooka at Dib. Dib dodged it, as he kept firing.

He cried out, "YOU WON'T WIN, ZIM!"

Farra barked, "Hey, fuck you, asswipe!"

Dib shouted, "QUIT CALLING ME THAT!"

He fired in a frantic state, as Farra ducked the shot. She shrieked, as Heather cried, "FARRA!"

She finished the paperwork, and gave it to the teller. She was given a small paper, which said "I helped rebuild the world". She sighed and said, "Hot damn. I did it."

She whined, "I gave charity, and all I got was a fucking leaflet?"

Dib entered the City Hall and said, "A-HA! You have failed, Zim!"

He looked at the paper and saw her name "Heather Dunn" on it. He asked, "Hey, wait. I know that name. You're not THE Heather Dunn of The Gang? You were in Daten City!"

Heather barked, as she was furious, "I told you… I AM NOT AN ALIEN!"

Dib smiled, "Oh, my bad… And here I thought… you were too busy with alien proof."

Farra said, "Not that we care, but she just helped the AAW out, in order to assure our attack against Onigiri. Now, you can feel free to send in what you need."

Dib went passed the girls and said, "Uh, thanks. And sorry for the mistake."

He gave the teller the package, as he said, "Hello. Please deliver this to the UN, care of The Swollen Eyeballs."

The teller said, "Yes, kid. The mail carrier will arrive in a couple of minutes."

Dib celebrated, "YES! EARTH IS SAVED!"

ZAP!
But then, a figure with green skin and red eyes, held up a blaster and said, "MWAH, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! Foolish Dib! You cannot win, like ALWAYS!"

Dib asked, "Zim?! Where have you been?"

Farra said, "Dude…"

Zim smiled, "Oh, you know, I ran late. Had to get breakfast and build a punishing death beam."

Dib said bluntly, "You don't have a death beam."

Heather added, "Nor had you ever had breakfast."

Zim shrieked, "YOU'RE LYING!"

Dib laughed, "But you're too late! The UN will have proof, and there's nothing you can do about it!"

The teller interrupted, "Sir, are you Dib?"

Dib said, "Uh, yes. Yes, I am."

The teller grumbled at him, "Fuck you, loser."

SLAM!
She slammed the window closed, with the package still on the counter.

Dib screamed, "NOOOOOOO!"

Zim laughed, "YES! Foolish Dib! Now you shall be-!"

Heather shouted, "Just kill this fucking loser, already, so I can go home!"

Farra added, "Forgive her, dude. She's having a bad day."

Zim said, "Sorry. You want it done, quickly? Okay."

Dib gasped, "But…"

Zim fired his laser gun at Dib, disintegrating him into ashes. He laughed evilly, "MWAH, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! I AM ZIM!"

ZAP!
A figure with a baseball cap and a big nose appeared, in the same mannerism as Zim, but is a dimwit.

Grim Adventures' Billy

Billy said, "Which one of you is Zim? I want to blast him in the squishy squish!"

ZAP!
A brown beaver, with a pointy nose, then said, "Which one of you is Richard Horvitz? Eee…"

Billy and Zim said, pointing at each other, "Him."

ZAP!
Daggett disintegrated them, as he hooted, "HOOOO! HA, HA! Who's the loserly spoothead NOW, Norbert?"

ZAP!
Other figures appeared, as they all had blasters and armor on. One voice cried out, "WHICH ONE OF YOU IS GENERAL SKARR?"

For those who don't know, there are a lot of characters, about 12 of them: Evil Con Carne's Cod Commando, Powerpuff Girls' Princess, Him, and Fuzzy Lumpkins, Hey Arnold's Sid, Harold, and Stinky, CatDog's Winslow, Camp Lazlo's Raj and Clam, and Daggett.

The laser onslaught began, inside City Hall, as everyone started to destroy each other, blasting at each other. Daggett gets hit by Sid, as he gets lambasted by Raj. Clam drummed at Him's skull.

"Him! Him! Him!" Clam laughed.

Princess Morebucks fired a huge laser shot at Clam, knocking him off of Him, but Him grabbed her, with his claw. Harold fired a huge beam at the others, almost hitting Farra and Heather, who ducked out of the way. Cod Commando strangles Fuzzy, while Stinky was shoved into a trashcan, by Daggett.

Dag cheered and chanted the Muscular Beaver theme, blasting everyone who is standing.

It was total carnage.
I love it!

XXXXX

Minutes later, City Hall was destroyed. And everyone had died… except for Farra and Heather, who escaped the building, before the place exploded.

Heather said, "Thanks, man."

Farra said, limping a bit, "Yeah. Don't ever get lost again."

They went in the van, as Mizuki saw the girls, covered in soot and ashes. She said, as she was bothered, "I don't even wanna know."

She asked, "Did you deliver it?"

Farra said, "Yeah. And I think I reinjured my arm."

Heather fell asleep, as she was exhausted. She moaned, "No more pain… I need a vacation…"

Farra said, "On the plus side, wherever Steven Nevins is, he's happy that his wife is okay."

Mizuki said, "Now, we can go home. Back to HQ. What's next?"

Farra said, "I think I owe Asahi a favor. Let's go see her."

The van drove off, as Heather sobbed, while out cold, "Mommy… My butt hurts…"

Mizuki said, "She'll come out of it. She had worse."

Back at HQ, Percival went to Heather, who was in a hospital bed. He said, "How's my stepsister?"

Heather said, weakly, "I'm fine."

He said, "You know… What you did was kind of foolish. But you did deliver the package and currency to City Hall. Though, I'm a bit pissed off that City Hall was destroyed, thanks to you."

"It wasn't. Some asswipe paranormalist thought I was an alien, and he nearly destroyed the place! Plus, he's dead now, along with laser-toting fools. I tell you, Heather isn't used to this pain."

"Well, what's important is that you finished your mission. But what was imbecilic is that you put Farra in danger, nearly breaking her arm!"

"Her arm is already broken!"

"Yeah, well… But thanks. You were only trying to protect her."

He hugged her and said, "I forget that you and Farra were tight, since you first met in 1996."

Heather said, "Yeah. But it's not what it appears to be. Farra and I are one, as a great person. And if you and I weren't related, and if we weren't married, I'd totally hang out with her… If you get the idea."

He shuddered, "I don't even wanna know."

She laughed, "I'm only kidding. Why would I waste my body on her? Besides, she's one of my best friends, next to Steven Cooke. Though, sometimes I wish I was back home, and possibly protect the ones I loved, and be happy. But now, I get more than that. I nearly lost Michelle, Farra got shot, Steven Cooke was heartbroken, over an evil gynoid, Peter gets salaamed, in the worst possible way, and Asahi… She's too obvious. But in time, I want to help out. I'm like a 4th understudy. But I hope to become big, one day."

Percival said, "I get it. You just felt unhappy, since Onigiri's mess."

Heather sobbed, "It's not that! It's everything! Ever since that bank robbery, our first mission in AAW, I felt like I was hoping for another task for me… But look at me! I have super speed, but I can never do anything right!"

He hugged her and said, "Don't cry. You were only helping. And that was one mission. You did okay. It proves that you can stand on your own, with or without powers. But next time, listen before you leap; or in this case, zoom."

She smiled, as she wiped her tears, "Thanks. I won't do it again."

She then asked, "By the way… What was in that package, anyway?"

He said, "You'll see. Of course, when the time is right, I'll tell you. If you knew, you'd already be concerned."

She then thought, "So… What was it?"

XXXXX

At the United Nations, a package arrived.

"Sir," a mail carrier appeared and called, "This package is for you."

He gave the package to a man in blue armor and a knight's helmet, with a gash on its mask. He was Robin Mask, leader of the AU's UN.

Robin said, "Hmm… Proof of Onigiri? This is from the Alliance Across the World. We shall view it, at the next secret meeting. But I'd like to know who would have the right mind to record these actions."

He then placed the files down and remarked, "Whatever AAW had the time to deliver, this whole story of Onigiri, that would've been challenging. And I would thank the person, gladly, for it."

XXXXX

At a small house, a young woman with long black hair and a black dress was watching through her window.

"Tohru… Even the UN can see through your despicable tricks. Gang, I promise you… We'll need all the help we can, even if it means I have to present photos and videos of her evil actions, including Plas City."

I think we now know who the "Anonymous Tipster" was. Don't you?

Now the U.N. and the Choujins join in this story. But now, the danger begins, as we introduce the NEXT antagonists to our band's story. Stay tuned for the NEXT chapter of…

The Gang
-(Now IN-COLOR)-