It happened, weeks before Asahi joined The Gang in AAW…
Peter was walking out of the Broken Shades, as he and Mizuki kissed each other goodbye. He smiled that he'll be back in a week.
She said, "You be careful. I have a hot agenda to perform, today, giving that Kanaka gave all of us the week off."
He smiled, "No sweat, bra. Besides, I'm always aware of the danger that comes to me. Once they arrive, I'll give them the flames of justice, with my supersize Railway Upper!"
Mizuki giggled, "Okay, then. Be safe, honey."
He left, wearing his black jacket and said, "See ya!"
Kanaka Nanase gave The Gang a week's leave of absence from AAW, in order to regroup, since the Plas City incident… Steven Cooke had to play at a charity event, by himself, Farra Stevens & Percival Gaynes went on a nice honeymoon cruise, and Heather Dunn went to the beach to soak up the sun, in more ways than one.
For the Big Guy, he's about to embark on the biggest, and most humiliating adventure, yet. Of course, he wouldn't be alone for this one.
GANG EXTRA
The Target is Jabberwocky
Peter arrives at a small post office, with keys in his hand. He went inside and went to his P.O. Box, with is a huge locker room, full of boxes that stores mail inside, for those who have no mailboxes. He opened his box – Box 517.
"Here we go. #517."
He opened the box and saw a couple of letters. Two of them. One was an invite to Targus City. He was invited to perform a one-man show, this week.
"Of ALL the luck…" he groaned, with tears in his eyes.
Peter Giese is a robo-phobic, but only to gynoids fawning over him (see Chapter 18). Of course, he did give them the favor of helping, since he, along with his friends, defeated the evil Rei Tachibana, freeing the populace of their evil spell.
"Put a cork in it, narrator!" Peter said to the 4th wall.
Sorry. But it is true.
"Don't rub it in…" He pouted.
He then held the OTHER invite, "Eh? Then what's this?"
It was a letter from MITHRIL. He was invited to help out a matter, in the shores of Loch Ness.
"Loch Ness?! You mean expose the evil monster, known as Nessie? That I can do." He said, "After all, in this AU Mind Fuck, anything goes. But why would they bother for me?"
He read the letter:
"Dear Peter Giese of AAW,
I have seen you battle and save many cities. Most robot girls think you're hot, but my heart belongs to one. In any case, Cmdr. Mardukis has recruited you to help, since you have such abilities, including growing large, at will… except on Thursdays.
We need you to help out of Loch Ness, and locate the mythical creature that has terrorized the area. MITHRIL can't do it, so I'm leaving it up to you.
Signed, Teletha Testarossa
Captain of MITHRIL
P.S. – Please view the TV. They're doing a rerun of the special that tells my point. It's replaying at 5pm."
Peter asked the mail clerk, "Sir? Do you have a TV here? The letter said that the TV Special about Nessie is on!"
The clerk replied, "Sorry! No TV here!"
Peter sighed, "Oh, phooey…"
XXXXX
Hours later, at a Gyudon place, Peter was eating a big bowl of Gyudon (fried beef on rice). He was watching TV, as the caretaker, Yosaku, a man with a bald head and a headband on him, was watching, as well.
He asked, "Excuse me, sir. Anything you want to watch?"
"Well, it's almost five. You heard of Loch Ness?" Peter asked.
Yosaku gasped in horror, "Ne-Ne-Nessie? You don't mean Nessie?"
He turned on the TV, as the show began.
Skit form… activate!
Mystery!
The Truth can be found…
Steffi Matheson was on TV, in a black background, as she spoke in the 4th wall, "Hello, folks. Tonight we bring you a scary tale of a beast that hounds the waters…"
She flipped out, "A VERSATILE FREAK!"
She then pointed at the 4th wall, "In the unbalanced zone of these worlds… the creature, as we broadcast LIVE, will show itself again! I'm talking about… Jabberwocky!"
Peter asked, "Jabber-what now?"
Yosaku was on TV, in the middle of a lakeside area, as he was scared, "These eyes… These eyes, I SAW JABBERWOCKY!"
Steffi interviewed him, "Sir, please tell us how you saw this mysterious beast?"
Yosaku said, "Well, all I know is… What time was it? I FORGOT! BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE WATERS WERE WAVY AND SHAKY! I turned around, and I saw Nessie. But it wasn't. It was a huge dragon monster."
She asked, "And what happened next?"
He shouted, "WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED NEXT! THE MONSTER JABBERWOCKY! HE CHARGED AT ME, AT 20 METERS TALL! AND HE CHASED ME, LIKE THIS!"
He panted, "I've never been so scared in my life…"
She moaned, "No kidding…"
She asked him, "Uh, care to describe this Jabberwocky?"
He dived into the water, as Steffi swam after him, "HEY! I mean tell me, not prove a point!"
Yosaku was out of the water, as he panted, "I was never scared in my whole life, and I swear it was 30 meters."
Steffi asked, "Eh? Don't you mean 20 meters?"
Yosaku screamed, "AT ANY RATE, I saw Jabberwocky, WITH MY OWN EYES!"
The TV was turned off, as Peter thought, "Oh. Jabberwocky. Wasn't it from Alice in Wonderland?"
Yosaku crouched in the table and sobbed, "SCARY! I SAW IT! I SAW IT MYSELF!"
He thought, "Okay… Maybe this is what Captain Testarossa wants me to help with. I suppose I should, since this feels right, and I got the powers to do it."
He finished his bowl and said, "But still… I need a ride to Loch Ness…"
He heard a voice, "Sister, is it true that this Jabberwocky is nothing but a demon?"
Another voice replied, "Indeed, but, that thing is no match for us. Besides, that thing has no common sense and lack of grace, like us."
Peter thought, "Those voices… I have heard of them, before…"
He saw two girls, in red skin, in tan uniforms. It was Scanty & Kneesocks.
"DEMONS SISTERS!" He screamed, as he charged at them.
Scanty turned around and gasped, "AAAH! OH, NO!"
Kneesocks cried, "CRUD! NOT HIM!"
They shrieked, as Peter grabbed the Demons, and hugged them.
"IT'S YOU! IT'S YOU! LONG TIME, NO SEE, BRAS!" He cheered.
Scanty gagged, as she was choking a bit, "Nice to see you, too…"
Kneesocks moaned, "Do we ever need a break?"
XXXXX
Peter was riding in G-String, the Demons' super-stretch limousine, as he explained the mission he has from Tessa.
"Jabberwocky? Is that why?" Scanty asked, as she petted their dog, Fastener.
Peter said, "Indeed. It says here that I have to go see Miss Testarossa in a small city, on the back of the note. When I finish here, I have to go to Targus City and play a one-man show. But if I want, I'll do it."
Kneesocks said, "You're rather the great King of AU. Where are the others?"
Peter said, "Aw, they got better things to do."
He asked, "Hey, girls… What's a Jabber-Wakka-Wakka?"
The Demons and Fastener fell in a THUD, as Kneesocks screamed, "YOU KNOW WHO IT IS, ON THE TV, and on the note that Tessa gave you! WHY DO YOU BOTHER SAYING THAT?"
Peter tittered, "Kneesocks-kun, no need to bust a vein."
Kneesocks said, "Kun?"
Scanty said, "Please, Sister. Compose yourself. You haven't been that redder than last time."
She replied to Peter and explained what a Jabberwocky is.
"Since you asked, I'll be happy to tell you about this beast… and the origins that follow.
Jabberwocky was created as a poem in 1871. It is such nonsense, and it was used in "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass". The jabberwocky is a huge slimy, slithery, and ugly looking dragon that terrorizes the fields. In the poem, it says a warning about the beast:
"Twas bryllyg, and ye slythy toves
Did gyre and gymble in ye wabe:
All mimsy were ye borogoves;
And ye mome raths outgrabe."
Its words continued, as the beast would haunt everywhere… even when the poem, silly as it is, is recognizable. In the end, no one has seen or proved that he was real…"
She concluded, "But you, however, you MAY confront the beast, seeing that this Navy place has such power and respect."
He smiled, "Oh, right."
Kneesocks added, "Also, some say that the Jabberwocky is big, but it is said that it is as relatively docile, and stands about 20 meters tall."
He gasped, "Twenty meters tall? Docile?! MOME RATHS?"
He then imagined himself slamming Jabberwocky into the ground. He pinned his shoulders and won the fight!
Peter snickered, "Kateru! (Winnable)!"
He then cheered, "COOL! I get to impress Tessa Testarossa and prove the world that Jabberwocky is real, as you and me!"
Scanty gasped, "You're joking!"
He barked, "Watashi wa jōdan o itte inai yo! (I'm not joking!) I shall accept MITHRIL's invite to tame the beast that is in Loch Ness! They told me to meet at a small city that they are met in."
Kneesocks trembled, "Oh, shoot…"
He asked, "What's wrong?"
She replied, "We forgot… We had a giant ghost terrorizing the city, and we didn't know…"
She pleaded and bowed, "Please forgive us! Please forgive us!"
He laughed heartily, "NAH, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! PERFECT! This will impress Tessa and MITHRIL!"
The Demons asked, "Huh? Impress them?"
Peter barked, "WHAT DO YOU THINK? This is a golden opportunity to show my prowess!"
He bellowed, "If I can exterminate that Jabberwocky, rather than tame the beast, I shall be the greatest superhero that ever lived! And no longer will I be a magnet for gynoid fan clubs!"
He kicked the window and shouted, "DRIVER! TAKE US TO THE CITY! SHUWACCHI!"
The limo drove off in a fast pace, as they arrived at the city.
XXXXX
Peter arrived at downtown, as he laughed heartily.
"HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! HAAAA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!"
Scanty whispered, "Kneesocks… Do you think he can beat our ghost?"
Kneesocks said, "Even for someone who has exterminated the ghosts of Melissa Hawthorne and Rei Tachibana, he's got this in the bag."
"But Jabberwocky is a beast! Not a ghost! He can't fight him! And he's but one Gang member!"
"Maybe… But just watch…"
He thought, "Now… If I can find Tessa and her compadré, it's in the big bag, baby!"
He walked past a huge building as three girls ran to him. "KIN-CHAN!"
Peter asked, "Who, me?"
The girls fell in a THUD. One girl cried, "NOT YOU! Who the hell are you?"
Peter said, "You're not robot girls? That's a relief… But why did you call Kin-Chan?"
The girl replied, in anger, "Because, the great idol, Kenji Kintarowashi, has walked by, and we were calling him out! NOT YOU, MORON!"
He laughed giddily, "Oh, sorry about that. My bad. You girls go on ahead."
The girls run off, "KIN-CHAN!"
He sighed, "Well, we all make mistakes, right? Now… Where's that ghost?"
Above a huge building, two people were watching from a view, as a man with black hair, glasses, and a blue hat, was viewing the huge ghost. A girl with a brown uniform and silver hair, in braids and in a blue ribbon, was right beside him.
Full Metal Panic's Captain Teletha Testarossa & Commander Richard Mardukis
Tessa asked, "Do you see him?"
Mardukis replied, "NO. But I see the huge monster. Still, Captain…"
"What is it, Commander Mardukis?"
"HOW CAN YOU TRUST A DESTRUCTIVE MAN LIKE PETER GIESE? What the hell were you thinking?"
"Silence! He is a member of AAW, and a worthy ally! Commander, he was only offered to help! And just minutes ago, he sent me a sketchpad of how he'll defeat the monster, Jabberwocky!"
She showed the sketchpad of Peter's illustrations (a bit badly drawn) of how he can defeat the monster.
Mardukis cried, "Yeah, but he's like Kinnikuman! He's good-for-nothing, and a cowardly weakling! Even Squidward Tentacles offer to help, but-."
Tessa said, "I refuse to let other innocent victims and volunteers die, since the death toll is increasing in these messed-up worlds. We're going with the big guns and recruit Mr. Giese of the Alliance Across the World! I don't care if it's B-Level Heroes…"
She said, as she looked, "Look here. Before he realizes it, he'll pin Jabberwocky down in a slam, strangle his neck, hoist him in the air, and beat the living shit out of it."
Mardukis said, "Indeed. It is a well-made script. BUT SCRIPT or NO SCRIPT, we cannot endanger the lives with this bumbling buffoon of Kanaka Nanase's!"
Tessa barked, "Lest we remind you that it was I that gave the permission of picking ONE member?"
He cried, "Yes, ma'am! But does he have what it takes to defeat it?"
She responded, "Not sure, but… If we hope, then-."
SLAM!
The ground began to shake, as they both fell down. The huge ghost, with one eye, a round body, and twelve tentacles appeared, destroying an entire city.
Tessa sobbed, "I think it's doom time…"
They screamed in fear, as the ghost arrived. "AAAH!"
Peter found the ghost and cried, "HOLY CRAP! It must be the Demons' big ghost!"
Kneesocks explained, "This is the 12-tentacle ghost, the Spider-Eye! It was once a Broadway actor, playing the role of a monstrous spider man in a horror movie. The man died of being bitten by three radioactive tarantulas, in the dick."
He grumbled, "Hence why he has one eye? That's a dirty joke… for an After Dark playwright…"
Scanty said, "Tell it to the tawdry angels…"
He then flexed a bit and roared, "ALRIGHT! FOR MITHRIL!"
Using his huge Beast Gene, Peter grew about fifty feet tall. He posed in the air and roared, "Shuwacchi!"
He charged at the monster, as Mardukis cried, "It's him!"
Peter thought, "Now, all that is left is to impress the cute captain… I know she's not a ro-."
But he slipped on a car and rolled off, frantically, holding his balance.
"NAH! AAH! WHAT THE? NADESUKA? DŌ SHIMASHITA KA?"
He slipped off and fell headfirst into a subway tunnel.
"AAAH!"
CRASH!
Peter was trapped in the dark, with his head. "Ugh… Where am I? That hurt… HEY! I'm stuck! Hello?"
He then saw a light. It was a train, driving towards his face. He tried struggling out.
"OH, MAN! LOOK OUT!"
CRASH!
Peter is sent flying, as he was sent crashing into the building.
Tessa said, "Well, my guess is that he's warming up."
Mardukis remarked, "He's not even trying! Let's leave."
Peter called out, "Testarossa, right? Don't worry! I think I can take this beast! You just watch and see!"
He got up, as the ghost breathe fire at him. He dashed off, avoiding the flames, and jumped over the ghost. He landed on the ghost's head and shouted, "You think you can best me?"
He raised his fist up and jumped back down. He glowed in a reddish aura and gave the ghost a huge uppercut.
"JUSTICE RAILWAY UPPER!"
POW!
"Shuwacchi!"
The ghost cried out, "LAST CALL!"
BOOM!
The ghost exploded into nothing, as Peter stood tall. He let out a peace sign and said, "NAH-HA-HA! Peace! Peace!"
Mardukis gasped, "He vaporized it. What power!"
Tessa cheered, "Peter Giese, you're hired!"
Peter smiled, "GREAT! You can count on me to take this Jabberwocky to school!"
Tessa saluted, as Peter saluted back. Elsewhere, Scanty and Kneesocks sighed, as their ghost was destroyed. Scanty picked up about two Heaven Coins.
"Another ghostly plan has failed…" Scanty sighed.
Kneesocks said, "Well, it was for the best, since we know of Percival Gaynes. We don't help him…"
They shrieked, "WE'LL GO TO JAIL!"
And so, Tessa hired Peter to take out the monstrous Jabberwocky, located in Loch Ness. Will he defeat it?
The next day, Steffi was on the microphone, as she was to the camera.
"Good morning, everybody, LIVE from Loch Ness," she said, "We are bringing you the BIGGEST question of them all: Is the Jabberwocky real, as you and I? We'll find out, today…"
She shrieked, "IT'S A VERSATILE FREAK SHOW!"
She continued, "Of course, who will rescue the world from this demonic beast?"
Peter arrived, via G-String, as Steffi gasped, "It looks like we have a HERO!"
He saluted, as Steffi groaned, "Oh, great… Peter?"
Peter did his Gyudon Dance:
"Great tasting gyudon for 300 years!
It's quick, and it's tasty, and it's very cheap! Ha-HA!"
(A cow bonks on his head)
He laughed heartily, as Steffi grumbled, "Why is he, of all people, here?"
She spoke to the camera, "Peter Giese has been chosen, at random, to partake in this attempt to tame the wild Jabberwocky, par the orders of Teletha Testarossa, Captain of MITHRIL. Folks, all we can do is wait in the grasslands of sunny Scotland, until the beast arrives."
Yosaku cried at the camera, "I SAW IT! I SAW JABBERWOCKY! IT WAS 20 METERS TALL AND HE CHARGED AT ME!"
Steffi nervously giggled, "Now, now… You already had your TV Time. We know all about it."
Yosaku said, "Well, yeah. But Mr. Giese, at my Gyudon Shop, was chosen, as he told me he'll beat him."
She sighed, "But must you become freaked out, all the-."
"EEK!" She gasped.
Yosaku was doing a naked fan dance, at the camera. Steffi seethed in anger and chased him out, "GO ON! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, YOU FREAK!"
Peter waited by the water, as he said, "Jabberwocky is nothing, as long as he can best me in battle."
He smiled in arrogance and thought, "If this goes well, I'll finally get that dream I wanted – being fawned over women that are NOT robots!"
He imagined that he being cheered by many girls, cheering and shrieking for him.
"Thank you! Thank you everybody! PEACE! PEACE!"
He blew a kiss, as the girls cheered on.
He then smiled, waiting for Jabberwocky.
Mardukis replied, "It seems that he is very confident about it."
Tessa said, "That's right. But I will say that he's got this, in the bag. But I'm not so sure…"
The water started to bubble, as a creature appeared from the water. It was a huge black dragon with wings and spikes. It roared, as everyone was shocked, except for Peter.
"J-J-J-J-J-J-JABBERWOCKY!" Steffi shrieked very high.
"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Tessa shrieked, as she stumbled a bit.
Everyone ran off, as Peter noticed the monster. He grew fifty feet, as he stood in front of the 20-meter Jabberwocky.
He smirked, "You ain't so big! HAH! You are going down, Jabs!"
Uh, need I remind you that Jabberwocky is 20 meters tall? That's about 65.6 feet. Peter is fifteen meters tall.
He gasped, as he asked, "What? 65 feet tall?"
He looked up at Jabberwocky, as it roared at his face.
He shrieked in complete horror, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
He fainted.
XXXXX
Please stand by…
Peter does a small cancan dance, surrounded by butterflies.
"Da-da… da-da… da, da, da, da, da-da…
Nessie… Nessie… Dun, da…"
XXXXX
Minutes later, he woke up, after Jabberwocky rubbed his head. He was still at fifty feet. He got up and screamed in terror. He was being bounced up and down by the devilish monster, like a basketball.
Scanty cried, "He needs help!"
Kneesocks responded, "He needed some food."
Steffi shrieked, "Jabberwocky shouldn't be THAT tall?"
Tessa cried, "YOU CAN DO IT! TREAT THAT DRAGON A LESSON!"
Mardukis restrained her, "Captain! Calm down!"
Yosaku cringed, "It's Jabberwocky… He's so scary…"
The monster threw Peter upward, into space, as he drifted away. He was floating in space, as he was whimpering in pain.
"Why? I cannot fight this monster…"
The Demon Sisters, in a huge spaceship, held up a huge portion of turkey burger with cheese on a sesame seed bun.
Scanty cried out, "Big Peter! Choke on this!"
They threw the huge hamburger, as Peter ate it up. He grew at fifty feet again and dived down to the ground, from the darkness of space.
Mardukis cried, "He came back!"
Peter called out, "COME GET SOME!"
The monster roared at the huge Big Guy and opened his mouth.
Kneesocks cringed, "How doth the little Gang member…"
Peter halted, as he was headed towards its big jaws.
"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOT IN THERE!"
CHOMP!
The Jabberwocky has eaten Peter, whole.
Steffi cried, "He's eaten Big Guy whole, in one bite!"
Yosaku cried, "What a monster!"
Peter slid down onto the beast's esophagus, screaming in fear.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
He fell inside an empty stomach, with a pool of gastric acid.
"Dude… Now I know how that last teriyaki sandwich I had felt…" he moaned.
He looked around and said, "Uh, oh. I must be in his stomach."
He cried, "OH, SHIT! I gotta hurry! Must impress cute captain!"
He held his breath and dived down the bottom of the stomach.
He thought, "I better hurry, before that beast dissolves me. If I know my biology lessons, about the human body…"
XXXXX
Meanwhile, Steffi was in tears, as she rang the chime for Peter. Everyone in the presence of the monster was in mourning.
Kneesocks whimpered, "What was the meaning of your life? You were so energetic, and had a life, but it was cut short…"
Steffi sobbed, "Folks, this is a tragic day. Peter Giese of The Gang has been eaten alive and killed by the dreaded jabberwocky…"
The monster roared, as its stomach was aching. It groaned, as everyone fell in a THUD. It left, as it went back to the water. However, someone appeared from under the monster.
Scanty prayed, "At least we'll use him as a ghost… for The Gang…"
A voice called, "YOU SHUT YOUR RED PANTY SCAR FACE!"
Peter has arisen from under the Jabberwocky!
He growled, "You think I'd die that easily?"
Tessa gasped, "Mr. Giese?!"
Mardukis gasped, "But how?"
Peter grabbed the tail of Jabberwocky and started to throw him down, in the air. He slammed him, crashing into the ground.
"BAM!" He yelled, after every hit, "BAM, BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!"
The Jabberwocky cried, as it started to fly away. It whimpered like a dog, as it disappeared into the farthest reaches of space.
Peter stood up, as he saluted, "He no tsuppari wa iran desu yo!"
Yosaku replied at his remark, "AH! Kotoba no imi wa yoku wakaran ga, tonikaku sugoi jishin da!"
Steffi cried, as she was happy, "Peter Giese is okay! HE HAS ESCAPED THE BOWELS OF JABBERWOCKY!"
Tessa smiled, as Peter grew back to normal, "And he chased the monster out of the world, hopefully, for good. He's a great man!"
He laughed, as Tessa hugged him. She cheered, "Oh, I'm so glad you saved us!"
She hugged him for seconds, as she sniffed him. She let go, and then fainted in disgust.
"AAH! STINKY!"
THUD!
Peter blushed, as he thought, "She didn't have to let go."
Kneesocks sniffed him and asked, "Tell me, Peter. How did you escape the monster?"
Peter then snickered, and then laughed in embarrassment, "Yeah… he, he, he, he… Funny story about that…"
He giggled, as he was a hero. Of course, he escaped Jabberwocky, through its colon and sphincter. Smart strategy, Big Guy.
He smiled at the 4th wall, "Thank you!"
The next day, he met with Tessa again, as he gave her a present, as a token of his apologies.
He said, "Hey, listen, about yesterday? I'm sorry. But you knew I'd think of a plan to escape that beast. If you ever need my help again, give me a ring."
He was on his knees, along with Scanty, Kneesocks, and Fastener.
Mardukis tried shooing him, as Tessa replied, "After the way you got out of his ass? That's disgusting!"
Peter giggled, "Aw, come on… Please?"
Tessa then stood up and said, "I have no more use of you. You only came to rescue the city and lake from the monster. That is all. But your powers, unorthodox, as it is, proved useful. On the plus side, you bested the Jabberwocky, and saved Loch Ness. That's some merit, pal."
She smiled and said, "We'll keep in touch, if we ever need you again, only to help MITHRIL's problems. The entire fleet salutes you, out of respect, including myself."
She saluted, as they saluted back. She then said, "I'm sure you'll find your way home, now. And I'll see if I will need you, in the near future."
She then boomed in anger, "NOW, GET OUT!"
Peter, Scanty, Kneesocks, and Fastener were booted out of Teletha Testarossa's office, out of respect.
SMASH!
They went through the door, demolishing it.
Peter cried, "This is "Respect"?"
And so, Peter returns to the G-String limo, as he continues his way to Targus City. But the disasters for him continue onward.
To be continued… in the next chapter…
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