"In the interest of not being rude, you will be able to write one more letter to thank your partner, and have one last opportunity to ask any last minute things," Mrs. Bradford tells us. I let out a small sigh of relief. I don't know why, but I feel connected to Four, and I'm not ready to let it go.

"So, I guess they're going to try the program again next year," Caleb says to no one in particular as we walk home from the bus. "Something about modifying the way it's done."
"I don't understand. Why didn't they just try the changes this year? We still had six weeks left," I think out loud.
"They wanted to try the changes out on a new group who hadn't been through it in any way."
"It was very hard work. I'm glad they are going to try again to make it better next time," Susan adds. I roll my eyes at her perfect Abnegation response.

I stare at my brother as we walk. He didn't say it as a guess. More like he knows it for a fact. He notices the look on my face and quickly adds, "I asked Mrs. Bradford." Normally I would believe him, but between his questions before about breaking the rules, and his haste to let us know how he knows the answer, I feel like he's lying.

We say our goodbyes to Robert and Susan and head inside. "Why do you insist on looking at me like that, Beatrice?"
"Like what?"
"You know. Like you never believe a word that I say."
"Maybe, it's because I don't."

He huffs loudly and heads upstairs. I mutter a quiet curse before following him up and knocking on his door.
"Go away, Beatrice."
"No, Caleb."
He opens his door but doesn't allow me in. "What?"
"I told you before, you can tell me anything. Please, Caleb. Talk to me."

He looks at me, and his eyes soften a bit. He opens his mouth to say something, but thinks better of it and puts his guard back up. "It's not important."
"Caleb."
"Do your homework, Beatrice. You're on dinner tonight."

I cross the hall and close the door to my room. As I pull out the envelope, I smile just a little, and shut out everything else.

Six,

Oh, Dauntless cake. Where do I even begin? It's not like normal cake in any way. It's fluffy, and moist, and chocolate on top of chocolate on top of chocolate. Having a piece is like finding out the answers to every question you ever had all at once. Trust me, Six. It's a life changing event. If I could, I would stick a slice in this letter. I hope your threats aren't empty ones. I know the perfect place to hang my letter, and I expect it on day one.

You're right. There are a lot of jobs to choose from here. Leader, trainer, tattoo artist, cook, patrol, shop keeper, guarding the fence. Those are just the ones I could think of off the top of my head. What do you think you would do if you stay in Abnegation? What do you think you would do if you left?

This will be my second year training our new initiates. Things have recently changed within Dauntless, and while it's not completely horrible, it's not for the best either. I hope that I can be the person who makes the newcomers feel like they made the right decision. Trust me when I say this Six, regret is one of the worst feelings there is.

I think about what it would be like if things were different all the time. I mean, what if we weren't forced to make a lifelong decision at such a young age, or what if we were allowed to befriend people from other factions? (I think that maybe you and I would be good friends.) Or, what if there wasn't so much emphasis on which faction is better, which faction is the right one, which faction is the one who should be in charge? But mostly Six, I wonder what life would be like without it. All of it. If we could just be whatever we wanted to be, without the threat of becoming an outcast.

There are good aspects and bad aspects within every faction. We place such a high value on our own, that we tend to overlook the things that are right with the other factions; there's way too much emphasis on the things that are wrong. It's not right. Every person should have every good quality. Bravery. Intelligence. Selflessness. Kindness. Honesty.

But that's not the way it works, Six. And I don't know if it ever will.

Four

I sigh heavily as I agree; things will never change.

Four

I read the last letter she wrote for at least the tenth time, and think about the girl I saw. I know that the chances that she is Six are slim, but I still picture her in my mind. As much as I don't want to think about it, I can't stop picturing her. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and in that small moment, I swear, saw directly into hers.

I wouldn't mind seeing it again.

How could someone I technically don't even know make such a big impact on my life? I sigh, because I already know the answer; I feel like I can be myself when I talk to her. I'd like to think it's because I'm changing; growing up and understanding what life is all about. But truthfully I think it's just her. She's living a life I know all to well. That life gives us a connection that I could never have with anyone else.

Sure, Zeke and Shauna and even Uriah are some of the best people I have ever met, and I am thankful for them. They are the ones who got me through this; they kept me sane here when I was sure I would go mad. But they don't know me. I still have to keep parts of myself hidden away.

I don't want to hide forever.

I put the letter back safely hidden in a drawer with the others, and head out to meet Zeke.

"It's Lauren," I say.
Zeke takes a shot and then grabs mine and knocks it back too. "Shit. I thought she wasn't going to do it again this year?"
"Changed her mind, I guess."
"Do you think she will, you know...understand?" Zeke looks around the bar nervously.
"No, I don't. Listen. I'll be there, okay? I can't be there in the beginning, but I can be when it matters. I promise you, nothing is going to happen to Uriah."

I try my best to give Zeke the most reassuring look I can, but I'm not sure if I even believe what I'm saying. I know how dangerous the situation is though, so if I have to go down fighting, I will. The fear over divergence is overwhelming; I would know. I motion for the bartender to bring us another round.

"Thanks, Four."
"You're welcome, Zeke."

Two hours later, an incredibly drunk Zeke hangs on to me as I help him back to his apartment. He is running his mouth about nothing in particular, but in my half listening, half concentrating daze, I catch one particular thing that almost knocks me over.

Convince him to stay Dauntless.

"Zeke, what?" I ask him, hoping nobody heard.
"I need to convince him to stay Dauntless," he slurs out.
"Okay. No more getting shitfaced until this is all over with."
"Shitfaced," he says with a grin.

I dump him in a pile of splayed limbs on his bed and lock the door behind me. As I head home, I realize why what Zeke said struck me the way it did. Convince him to stay Dauntless. What it really said to me was...

Convince her to become Dauntless.