A/N: Oh wow the response to this has been amazing. My muse is only speaking through pen and paper so it's gonna be slow going. I need to write it out then translate into a document, so be patient with me. I want to do this justice.

"Emma. Emma. EMMA!" Ma bellowed, stopping me in my tracks. She grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eyes, "Emma what is wrong, you've been pacing for the last hour. At this rate your father will be home before you calm yourself. Now sit down and tell me what is wrong."

She shoved my shoulders down, forcing me to collapse onto her favorite armchair. I put my head in my hands. The Queen, I just.. I just tried to feed my bullshit stew to the Queen of the whole White Kingdom. God I was poaching in her lands I, oh thank God I didn't undress her. I was so close, just to check her wounds but still. Oh wow i just… My head popped up and ma gave me a funny look, "Emma?"

I stood up and put my shoes back on, "Mom I have to go. I'll be back in a bit." If I come back at all.

"Go? Emma stop!" Ma jumped in front of me, "Emma where are you going? Please tell me you aren't thinking of going to the castle." My only response was to tie the laces on my boots nice and tight. Something tells me I may needto do some running at some point. Ma put her hands on my shoulders, "Emma you need to stop right now."

I glared up at her, "Ma she was terrified. She was screaming and sobbing and running all over the woods in her dressing gown. If the Queen is that afraid of her own house then I am going to make sure she's safe." Something is seriously wrong with all of this. You go ahead, try and tell me no now. I could see it in her face, she couldn't stop me from being the good citizen she'd tried to raise me to be.

"Please honey, please just wait a few days, for all you know she was sleepwalking." Ma is just buying time to stop me now. "After falling into the ravine she could have forgotten the dreams. You know how steep Laird's is, she could have just hurt herself badly, and I know what you're going to say. The Queen's physicians are far superior to you in healing." She's frantic, probably terrified I would get myself killed or something. Ma never talks that fast unless she's freaking out.

I don't care. I should check on the Queen now. If that place really is as bad as it seemed then I don't want her to be alone any longer. Why do you even care Emma? Because she is my Queen. You didn't even know what she looked like a few days ago. An Oversight. "Please honey, wait a few days, maybe I can get you into the castle legitimately. There are always paths for the patient. Isn't that what your dad always said?"

Huffing I closed my eyes, "What he said was that 'Good will always find a way.' Dad never said how legal that way was." I muttered. Maybe ma is right. The Queen won't like it if I interrupt her homecoming, not if she actually likes it there. Her majesty didn't like my prying last time, why would she like it now? Maybe she was ashamed of something and I got close? What if she was frightened of what would happen if someone knew. Either way something is wrong. No one denies their home without a real reason. "Give dad my best." I can't stay so close and not check. Distance will let me think.

Ma nodded and hugged me tight, "Be careful, royals don't like it when the common folk mess with their balances." As if i didn't know how her relatives disliked me.

"Like that has ever stopped me before ma. Enjoy the game. I'll grab a few things from the garden and head back to the lodge."

"You better not let that rapscallion in Emma. I mean it. You,ay have given up hope but I still think you could make one of these noble gentlemen here very happy." She folded her arms and waited for me to agree. I nodded and she swept me up into one more hug before I could escape to the fresh air of the forest.

Ma once told me this story and nothing really stuck with me except that they fell in love on sight. Weird right? I mean who does that? The couple in the story did kiss a lot. I know that, like under an arch of trees… And there was a mirror. That mirror that always gave me nightmares. They all frightened me as a child, even the normal ones. I was afraid I would trip and fall through into somewhere else. A scary place like the one they sent the bad guy to; well I always thought it was bad. Ma never said.

Dunno why I was thinking about it. Sitting at the top of the trees I entertained myself by wondering. Wondering why the hero would send his enemy through a mirror. Maybe he was too weak to kill the villain. Maybe being the hero means you protect as many people as you can? Is that what i'm doing right now? Protecting people? Yeah right, some hero I turn out to be. Honestly it looks a lot more like wasting time and hiding. I've spent too much of my life hiding out in these woods. It's time to face up to my issues. I've given her a grace period, now it is time to meet my Queen, properly.

Ma will kill me for it later when she finds out, but I skipped right past the house. Taberd is gonna be less conspicuous anyway. All of ma's friends will be maids of courtiers. They're too much for me. I prefer Taberd and the gardens. They keep me in mind of the forest. Dad always said I would die in the forest, not because of the wild beasts, but because of my love for it. He said I would never leave long enough to die anywhere else.

I put a hand on the old man's back so he wouldn't freak out. "Taberd, what would you say if I took over for the day, kept an eye on Jefferson, just for the day. You could go drinking with the boys." I leaned over and ruffled jefferson's hair. He's a cute little kid. Tabard took the orphan in a few years back.

Now he wiped his hands of on his trousers and gave me the kind of look I expected from my mother not him, "Well ah would say ye're tryin ta get sommat that'll get me inna righ' shite pile o' trouble." No filter on that one. Just, you're shitting me. This is why I like Taberd so much,"Ye know wha' ah would agree ta?" He grinned and my stomach sank, "Ya can do tha righ' thing an' be mah apprentice instead o' stealing mah job fer a day." The grin disappeared, "Bu' ye have ta promise a whole season Emma. No runnin' no bullshite."

Oh hell old man, you'll be the death of me. Of all the things you could ask for you picked that? I shifted uncomfortably, "You know I'm no good at that Taberd." I tried the kicked puppy dog look but I guess I did it wrong somehow. Cus he didn't buy it for a second.

Instead he passed me a shovel and the pruning shears, "Well then Emma ah think i's abou' time ye star'ed ta learn."

Jefferson hopped off his perch on the tool table and cheered, "Yay! Emma's coming too!" He ran out to grab the little wheelbarrow that was his duty to push around. Taberd may be a doting father but he doesn't lug around dead weight.

I grabbed his father's arm and tuged, "Taberd are you sure about this?" There are other ways to get into the castle. A part of me did prefer his plan if only because it meant that I could come and go any time I want. Ma would like it, she's been trying to get me out of that forest since dad first showed it to me. Maybe this will be a good thing.

Instead of answering my question Taberd replied, "Ye'd bet'er no' make me regret this Emma, if'n ye can' keep yerself outta trouble I've go' me boy ta look after. I want a bet'er life fer 'im, an' I cain't fuck tha' up ta cover fer ye."

"I know Taberd. I promise to keep my trouble to myself." Lord knows I;m looking to stir some up. Nothing good comes of mixing nobility and common folk. Then why are you trying to do just that Emma? Because I need to know she's safe.

Taberd and i walked the castle grounds to get me reaquainted. I used to help him out as a kid. But I think we've mentioned just how bad I am at commitment. This was one of those commitments. Maybe this is my chance to change that habit. I looked up towards the Queen's wing and smiled. A bright spot of blue shone out against the dark stone. My Queen.

Jefferson yanked on my hand, jerking my attention away for what had to be the thousandth time. "Hey! Hey Emma look!" He pointed and finally I agreed with his excitement. "Isn't it pretty? That's the Queen's apples. Her daddy the Prince Henry had them brought here for her… Her, uhm." His smugness drained away as he tried to remember the word. "Dowly? The apples for her dowly!" The ward shouted excitedly.

"Dowry boy, i's a dowry." Taberd corrected, "An' today our job is to chop 'em all down. Queen's orders." He looked grim and I understood the sentiment behind it. Life isn't something you just give up, especially life born from love. I don't see why she would have something so beautiful destroyed, but the Queen is a good woman. She knows what is best. I looked to the balcony again. The figure in blue is gone.

"But why do we have to kill all of them daddy? Can't we just keep one? Pretty please with custard on top?" Jefferson pleaded, his palms pressed together as he tried to reason with the deity only children worshipped. The one known as father.

Taberd looked stern but I could see a twinkle in his eyes. "Fine go find a place ta put one an' I'll move one o' tha new saplin's there." Jefferson cheered and ran circles around us. His dad stopped him rather quickly, "Hey! Ye have ta look after it. Ye'n Emma. I don' have time fer dawdlin' over a tree as shoulda died."

Jefferson nodded solemnly, "Okay. I promise to take extra special care of it."

I put a hand on Jefferson's shoulder and grinned, "I guess I'm in too." I bent down and whispered, "I have the perfect place too. You see that bench under the balcony? Don't you think that would be even better with a tree to cover it?"

He jumped up and down, "Yeah! Yeah! Let's put it there daddy! Can we put it there daddy?"

"Yeah daddy can we put it there?" I teased. Taberd grumbled about having to carry the sapling so far, but in the end he barely did anything. Jeferson and I dug it out carefully, leaving the heart ensconced in a huge clod. Taberd really just kept to clearing the orchard. I did leave Jefferson to dig the tree's new home for a bit. The boy could handle the work. The old man on the other hand would never say it but he needed the help. He's getting too old to be doing something like this. "What are you doing out here Taberd? If you were a horse you'd be out to pasture years ago."

He snorted, "If'n ah were a horse it would be a helluva lo' easier ta dig ou' these stumps." I set down my axe and waited for a serious answer. "Ta be hones' Emma, if'n ah had no plans fer 'im ah would life offa mah garden. Bu'... Ah cain't take 'im from 'ere, he loves it too much. I 'ave too much planned fer 'im." Tabered patted my shoulder and got back to cutting.

I lifted my axe to help. With each thud of the blase I wondered about what he'd said. Thud. Is that what love really is? Thud. To give up everything for that one person. Thud. Ma gave up her station to be with dad. Thud. Dad moved to the city and walks to the fields every day for ma. Thud. Taberd is giving his whole life for Jeferson. Thud. That little boy gives his whole heart and soul to his dad for safe-keeping. The thuds slowed as I mulled it all over.

Thud. I looked up to the Queen's balcony. The blue is back. Thud. I will give everything and more to you just to see you smile again. I stopped swinging as the tree fell to the demands of gravity. I watched the branches bend and reach to touch the very ground that had broken and snapped it's limbs.

Transfixed by the mangled mess I murmured, "I will see you smile my Queen." To seal the pledge I spat on the tree. Taberd gave me a sideways look, but he hadn't heard my promise. Together we finished the orchard and placed the chosen sapling in it's new home. I smiled at the hopeful little boughs reaching for the sun. I have plans for you tree.