Beatrice

Four,

I'm sure you already heard the news, but they're stopping the program. I knew it wouldn't last, but now that it's started, I don't want it to stop.

Everything you have said to me this past month has changed me in a way that I don't think I can even express properly. You seem to understand me like nobody else can. And now that I've realized it, it's being taken away.

Four, I don't know what to do. I wish things were different, because you are absolutely right, we would be friends. But this is it. This is where I have to thank you for everything you said and did for me and say goodbye.

I don't want to say goodbye.

I don't even want to sign my name and make it official. Actually, I do want to sign my name. My name, not a number. I started crying at some point as I wrote, and I'm finding it hard to stop. This person, this almost complete stranger gets me better than the people I see every day of my life. I know I'm being selfish, and for the first time in my life, I don't feel guilty about it.

I lick the envelope, seal it tight and wipe my face. When I come out of my room, I catch a glimpse of Caleb sitting in his. He looks my way and I know he can tell I've been crying. Without a word he comes over to me and gives me a hug."It's okay, Beatrice."

There aren't many moments like this between my brother and I, but when they happen, I am thankful for them. "Come on. We have to go down to the distribution center. Go wash your face and I'll meet you downstairs." I nod and do as I'm told.

I've found myself looking up more and more for the past couple of weeks; looking for the boy with the blue eyes. I know he won't be there though. It was a fluke that he was doing his job in the exact same place we were doing ours, but still, I look. On the way to and from the bus, the distribution center, church on Sundays, while we're walking through the Factionless section doing deliveries. He is both everywhere and nowhere. I imagine often that he is Four; a face to go with the number.

Four

"This is going to be your last letter," Max says to me as he reaches for the folder.
"What?" I say, trying not to sound alarmed.
"Whoever came up with this stupid program decided it wasn't working out, so they're scrapping it. You can respond to this one, but that's it."
"Oh," is all I can manage to get out.
"Good riddance," he says, with a wave of his hand.
"Yeah. Good riddance."

Max stops and gives me a look, but I stare back as blank faced as I can, and he simply shrugs. "Not every idea the Erudite come up with is ground breaking, I suppose."
I let out a laugh, hoping to disguise my nervousness. Max joins in and gives me a nod, and I'm excused. The panic I felt as Max told me that this is over leaves for just a moment as I think, why the hell would the Erudite want to start a program like this?

Her letter, although short, conveys so much emotion. I know exactly how she feels; I don't want to say goodbye either. I look up for a moment and find myself staring at the words I scrawled on my wall the night I moved in here; Fear God Alone. I let out a snort, remembering that not all fears vanish, and sometimes new fears take the place of old ones.

I sigh as I look back at her letter. This will be the last thing I can say to her, so I have to make it meaningful. I have to make it count. I have to...

I have to smile as I realize that, for once, I'm going to do what I want, and I have to not be afraid of what might happen.

I grab my things and catch the first train I can.

Beatrice

I slump down in my chair and prepare myself for the last letter I will ever get from Four.

"I hope that the small amount of time you had with the program helped you," Mrs. Bradford says as she passes out our letters. "If you have any questions, I would be more than willing to try and answer them. I'm here for you too."

In my head, I laugh. What could she possibly do for me? She will parrot the same rules we abide by, and I will still be left feeling lost. I don't think anyone could fill this empty spot I feel growing inside of me.

I look around and notice that two boys, one Erudite and the other Candor, immediately throw their letters in the trash without looking at them. I know that not every experience was going to be like mine, but I can't help but feel like that is a big slap in the face to the person on the other end of the letter. I want to say something, but I can't. Instead I carefully place the letter in my folder and give Mrs. Bradford my undivided attention.

As I sit in my room after school, I turn the envelope over and over in my hands and fidget nervously; I almost don't want to read it. I was so irrational in my last letter, and I let my emotions get the best of me. I could have said so much more, I just didn't know how. One last turn, and I am facing the neat print I am accustomed to seeing. I run a finger over the neat 6-1 on the envelope, taking in the slight indentation the hard press of the pencil left. My mouth twitches slightly on one side, and I bring the envelope up to my face and smell it. I don't know what I expected; it just smells like paper. To an outsider, I must look like a lunatic. I sigh and carefully tear the envelope open. There are only two hastily written lines on the paper inside, and they create an excitement inside of me that I have never felt before.

Six- I don't want to say goodbye either.

878 North Briar St. Four-

My heart beats so hard in my chest, I am sure the entire faction can hear it. I flip the paper over, and search the envelope. There's nothing else here. No time. No date. The building is just across from the distribution center; easy enough to access at any time of the day. It's also happens to be on the very edge of Abnegation. Easy for anyone to access, really.

I need to think of a reason to go now. It's Caleb's turn for dinner, so as long as I'm back by 7, I won't be questioned. I compose myself as best as I can, and knock on Caleb's door.
"I'm going to go and find mom. Volunteer for a few hours," I say when he opens it.
"Okay," he says quickly and shuts his door. It's unlike him to not question everything I do, but since it works out to my advantage, I don't question it.

I hurry out the door, and walk at the fastest pace I can that won't draw any attention to myself. I take a quick look around to make sure nobody is paying any attention, and sneak into the building. We've used it a few times when the Amity had crop abundances. It's mostly just used now for spare equipment parts for the machinery we use when canning food. We still refer to it as the overflow building though.

I'm certain he's not here, but I call out "Four," anyways, and roll my eyes at myself when I don't get a response. Now that I'm here, I have no idea where to start.

He's not going to do anything obvious, that much is certain. Nothing screams trouble like a member of Dauntless in Abnegation. I make my way through the building, searching in empty crates and empty rooms. Maybe I'm too early? Or maybe he hasn't had a chance to get into the building yet.

Just before I exit, I notice the smell of fresh paint. A quick look around and I know this building hasn't been painted since before I was born. I search high and low for the source. As the smell gets stronger, I notice a thin door, still accessible, but partially hidden behind a stack of crates. I walk towards it, and my heart skips a beat as more of the door comes into view. On it, in fresh paint, is a neatly printed 4 & 6.

Right in front of me is something I never thought I would see. I open the door slowly and see that it's a large room full of shelving, most likely an old janitors closet. There are a few brooms, mops and buckets inside, but it's otherwise mostly empty. On the shelf immediately to my right I see a single rubber glove, a moldy sponge, and an envelope.