Tsukune was biking his way down the tunnel as fast as he could in hopes to get Moka a new rosary. "Oh, man. Am I ever gonna get to this place?" He asked, when suddenly, he felt a giant power coming towards him at deadly speeds, coupled with a long, unending scream of pure rage. "Huh? What's that?" He asked. "I can even FEEL it!" He said in fear.
With Vegeta...
He was admiring his Super Saiyan state when he heard a scream of rage that reminded him of his own when Gohan stole his Dragon Ball on Namek. "What the hell is that noise?" He asked.
With Goku...
He just finished training and went to the fridge. "Ah, time for a delicious sports drink-" He said before he too heard the noise. "Huh? What the heck is that?"
In Heaven...
King Yemma was looking through his files of people he needed to judge. "Purgatory. Hell..." He said, when suddenly he heard the noise like the others before him. "What? Denise? Denise, do you hear that?" He asked his secretary before something horrifying dawned on him. "Oh, god, is that my wife?!" He asked in horror. "LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU ALREADY TOOK THE KIDS, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!" He demanded.
20 years later...
We see a horribly destroyed and ruined dystopian future. Dracula Blade, son of Moka and myself from the future was looking on as Lady helped him repair the time machine. "Alright, then! Once that time machine is fixed, I'll be able to go back in time and stop Tsukune from getting the rosary to save my mother. And finally meet my father!" He said, as apparently I either wasn't around or more likely died before he was old enough to know me, but suddenly, he heard a distant, but furious scream that sounded like it was getting closer. "Daddy?" He asked.
Back with Tsukune...
"It's Sai! In that case, I've got to hurry! I've still got time, but close to none." He said, when suddenly he saw the castle. "Is that it?" He asked himself. (Just hang on, Moka!) He said, when suddenly a massive swarm of bats attacked him.
"This is as far as you're gonna get, pal!" Kou said as he led the pack.
"Get away! Get off of me! If you think this is gonna stop me then you've got another thing coming! Because I'll get her back no matter what!" He said, still trying to fight them off.
"OH, YOU THINK SO?!" I shouted loud enough for them to hear, as I was now close enough to be within mutual earshot of shouting (we can both hear each other at a shouting distance).
Kou was shocked when he sensed the absolute rage and power coming towards them. "We're dead! We are dead! All gonna die! Dead men be we! A cornucopia of pain and despair is coming our way to ensure our demise! We are so going to die! WHY?!" He cried.
"There's still time! Just get out of my way!" Tsukune told him.
"Go! Go! Go!" Kou said as they all flew out of his way.
Kokoa watched this from behind a tree, stepping into plain view. "What the hell was that, Kou-buddy? Here I give you the chance to flap your stuff and you blow it! Guess I'll have to take care of this myself!" She said.
"MOVE YOUR ASS, KOKOA! HE'S MINE!" I shouted as I flew past her.
"Whoa, what the hell was that?" She asked, barely able to see what it was.
"Sai!" She heard from behind her and was shocked to see a herd of Snow women barreling towards her. They slammed into her and sent her flying after that.
"Oh, shit!" She screamed as she was sent flying after Kou.
Back with Tsukune...
"Man, they don't call it the northern barrier for nothing. It's pretty cold here!" He said, his breath now visible and there was snow everywhere.
"Maybe I can make it hotter when I slow-roast you to death!" I said, kicking him off his bike and landing a few feet in front of him.
"Sai!" He said in a mix of fear and anger.
"In the 450,000 degree flesh." I said, powering down from Super saiyan, returning to the temperature of an average human.
"I'm not gonna let you stop me!" He said.
"And I'm not gonna let you live past this day!" I said, lunging at him.
"Back to the subject of cold, freeze right there, Sai!" Tsurara said as the combined might of her snow women horde froze me solid from the neck down.
"Ms. Shirayuki!" Tsukune said shocked.
"Tsurara!" I growled in anger.
"Sorry, Sai, but this Moka poses a danger to Mizore and Damion. Both have told me how she's kicked Mizore around once or twice and how she's a match for Damion. I won't allow someone so dangerous to my daughter and future son-in-law. So, Tsukune, feel free to go and get that rosary, we'll keep him at bay." She said.
"Thank you so much!" He said as he continued.
"Now, Sai, just understand you're outnumbered and outgunned and just let this one go. We don't WANT to have to use force, but we will if we have to." She said happily.
I laughed evilly at this, sounding like Alucard's laugh in episode 4 of Hellsing Ultimate Abridged (YouTube TFS Alucard laugh, first result). "You poor, delusional fools. It's time I introduced you to one of my favorite YouTube rappers: Brysi." I said as I broke out of the ice, playing my favorite and most epic line of Brysi's rap battle between Scorpion and Sub-Zero.
"Bringing you the type of pain you've definitely never felt~, 'cuz when fire meets ice, you know that ice melts~"
Then, with an intense blast of fire, I sent them all flying. "Fire meets ice, you should've learned that from your parents~, you and your whole army could never, ever scare this~." I said, slowly bringing my hand up putting it on my chest at "this", before taking off again with a dragon-like noise you'd expect to hear from the Loch Ness monster (I always did like the noises they give it in the movies they put it in).
Tsukune was rushing towards that castle as fast as he possibly could. "Almost there! Just a little further!" He said but then stopped to see that the drawbridge was closed, preventing him from getting any further. "Crap! How do I cross this?!" He asked himself.
"Maybe I could help with that." I said, walking up to him slowly and incredibly threateningly.
"How did you beat them all so fast?!" He asked, shocked.
"Fire demon, snow women, you do the math. Even you aren't THAT retarded. Or maybe you are, I don't care." I said, bringing my foot up and kicking him in the chest, sending him down the giant chasm. "That was easier than I thought. Now then, back to my beloved badass babes." I said, turning away and walking back.
"Not quite, my dear!" I heard a familiar voice and turned around to see Ageha holding him and flying him over to the castle.
"What?!" I said in anger.
"Sorry, but with that other Moka around, you'll never fall for my little Kurumu. So with her down, that's one more chess piece out of the way." She said.
"You bitch! This could work in my favor, though! Maybe Kurumu will finally get the message when I present her with her mother's dead body with her throat slit!" I said, flying at them.
"Hold it, Sai!" Kurumu said, flying in and grabbing me, folding her wings to make us spiral towards the ground uncontrollably.
"Kurumu, you've been a pain in my ass from the start, so now, I'm gonna enjoy this!" I said, breaking free and smashing her into a wall of the cliff.
"Kurumu!" Ageha shouted, dropping Tsukune off at the castle-side of the drawbridge and flying at me.
"I've had enough of this." I said, snapping my fingers. At that moment, an enormous, two-legged red dragon with a spiked tail rushed in and chomped down on Ageha, throwing her into the cliff wall beside Ageha and flying beneath me so I'd land on it in a comfortable sitting position just behind his head. "Thank you, Hookfang. Hope your dinner didn't leave a bad taste of kinky in your mouth. But if it did, that's fine. Because it's time for your desert!" I said as we flew up and with a loud roar, he flew down at Tsukune, while unbeknownst to us, a certain vampire looked on from the balcony of the castle.
Tsukune heard the roar and turned around just in time to be pinned down on his back beneath Hookfang's foot. "Holy crap what is that?!" He asked.
"Hookfang. A Rathalos and one of the most powerful dragons someone could get their hands on. And like I promised him, it's time for his desert. Would you care to guess what his favorite is?" I asked.
"Uh... No, not really." He said nervously.
"Roasted human. So, have at it, buddy." I said, patting on the side of the head encouragingly, signaling he could eat.
He reared his head back and lunged in, but- "No!" Tsukune said in fear, closing his eyes, launching a ki blast at Hookfang's left eyes. Damaging him and taking him off balance, causing him to fall back, allowing Tsukune to run into the castle.
"No, no, no, no, no, NOO!" I said as Hookfang fell onto his back, causing me to fall off and get crushed underneath the giant dragon.
What... A... DICK!
[We have GOT to kick his ass for this.]
"We will... As soon as we get out of this predicament. Hookfang, up and at 'em buddy." I said, trying to push him off.
Damion suddenly arrived on the scene on his motorcycle. "Hey, Sai, you okay?" He asked.
"I've got a 5 ton dragon on top of me. What do you think? And how did you get here, the drawbridge is still down, isn't it?" I said, looking, confirming it was.
"Magical bike. Anyway, I'm not letting that self centered fuck ruin this. Draco and I came to help you out." He explained
"I now remember why you're my best friends." I said
"You want some help?" Draco asked as he landed beside us.
"Please and thank you." I said. They both lifted Hookfang up enough for me to get out from under him, then flipped him over so that when he woke up, as he was currently unconscious, he could get back into a standing position with no problem. "Great, I've got an unconscious dragon with a damaged eye and a dude who's trying to get rid of the most badass chick since Elektra! Tsukune Aono, you're pissing me off!" I said as we ran into the castle after him. "Hey, wait a minute, where's Nicolas?" I asked.
Back at the school...
Nicolas was in a chair with some popcorn, watching the events unfold on a bigscreen TV along with everyone else who didn't show up. "This is getting good." He said.
Back with Tsukune...
He finally reached the last corridor. "This is it." He said, reaching towards the door of the throne room.
"I wouldn't do that." Kokoa said.
"Uh, Kokoa..." He said.
"Tell me: You don't have the foggiest idea who lives here, do you?" She asked.
"Yes, I do. He's one of the three Dark Lords." He said.
"Well, he's not just a Dark Lord, he's also my father." She said, walking closer.
"Your father?! Then that also makes him Moka's father as well, doesn't it?" He asked.
"You're a right genius, you are." Draco said sarcastically in a British accent as the three of us walked down the hall slowly towards them.
"That makes sense, since he crafted Moka's rosary!" He said.
"And if he does so happen to have a spare, you won't be getting it." Damion said.
Damn straight!
[Ain't nobobdy playin' us for fools!]
"You don't have a clue!" She said to all of us, but mostly to Tsukune. "If you did, you'd know my father positively hates humans." She said.
"I think you're the only non-racist vampire." I said, looking at Damion.
"Ditto. Tsukune, if you do this Count Shiuzen ain't gonna be the only one beating the hell outta you." He said.
[Why does Shuzen sound so familiar all of a sudden?]
Yeah, it is ringing some bells, now that you mention it...
"If you go in, he's gonna kill you before you can say 'Boo!'" She said confidently.
"By all means, go ahead, Tsukune." I said with a grin.
Kou then flew right up into Tsukune's face. "That's right, whee~! Ms. Kokoa's daddy is bad news! He isn't just a vampire, but an S-class Ultra Super monster, whee~!" He said.
"I'm assuming that means he's stronger than S-class?" I asked, looking at the guys, to which they nodded.
"If you wanna turn back, this is your last chance." She said.
He merely chuckled at this. "Thanks, that's very kind of you!" He said happily.
"What is?!" She demanded.
"I agree. She's telling you about your imminent demise, I see no kindness in that." I said.
"You're worrying about me, that's so sweet!" He said.
"What?! Don't make me laugh, you creep!" She snapped, getting in his face on her tip-toes before folding her arms confidently again. "As if I'd worry about you, anyway." She said.
"However, I'm still going in. I'll see you later. And thanks again." He said, walking up to the door and grabbing the handle.
Suddenly, I was beside him in the flash, grabbing and breaking the wrist of the hand he grabbed the door with. "Can't let you do that, Tsukune." I said with an evil grin (we all know I had to use this line for this).
"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" Damion growled.
Tsukune panicked for a second, but then his determination came back and he started struggling. "I'm going to get her another rosary!" He says, struggling to get the hand I broke free and pushing open the doors to Count Shuzen's throne room open with the free hand.
"Why you little!" I said as we lunged at him.
He walked in and saw the count sitting at his throne. "Excuse me! Sir? You're Moka Akashiya's father, right?" He asked, then saw what he had in his hand. "You have a rosary! I'm in desperate need of one of those! Please, can I have it?!" He asked, before we caught him.
"No, you cannot." The vampire spoke, fiddling with a small strand of his hair.
Damion walked in and punched Tsukune in the gut. "What part of what I just said didn't you understand?" He demanded.
"I don't care what you do to me! I'm getting that rosary if it's the last thing I do!" He said.
I put a kunai to his throat at that moment. "Keep talking ad it will be." I said, before turning to the count and offering a polite bow. "Lord Shuzen, we apologize for the interruption and with your permission, we shall leave and deal with this pathetic human in our own way." I said in a dignified, respectful tone.
Suddenly, it sounded as it the count was sniffing something, standing up from his throne. "By the smell of you, I'd say you're one of the Blade clan. And not only that, but you'd have to be Ryu Blade's little cub." He said.
I was shocked at this. "You know my clan and my father?!" I asked in disbelief.
"One of my greatest friends and equals in terms of power." He said.
Suddenly, everything clicked into place.
Understanding meter:
Totally clueless... Gets it
"Wait, I understand now!" I said, shocked.
"Sai, care to fill us in here?" Draco asked.
"Yeah, you're just standing there looking like you got mind-raped." Damion said.
"Origin story time:" I said. "Long ago in- wait that doesn't sound right." I said, clearing my throat to sound all ancient and dramatic. "Long ago, in ancient times... The same time as Sparda turned on his demon companions for the sake of the humans, another demon had a similar idea. Mundus' invasion had reached Japan and a demon equally powerful to, if not more powerful than Sparda, just as compassionate, actually a close friend with the Dark Knight, saw what they were doing and questioned his roll in the conflict. So he began forcing back the demons and lived in Japan among the humans as something of a 'guardian angel', preventing any form of demon or monster from harming them. This demon's name was Ashugori Blade. The first member of the Blade Clan. The rest of his demonic family joined his cause and together, they protected the humans, living among them and even forming romantic relationships with them. But all throughout history, they had a rival who's hatred for the human was rivaled by there respect for the Blade clan. These were a clan of vampire assassins going by the last name of Shuzen. Throughout history, these two families of powerful creatures have dueled for the fate of the humans. But through all this conflict, there respect was always maintained between each other and never once did either side spill the blood of or take a life of the other side..." I finished.
"Whoa, that's heavy." Draco said.
"Very." Damion agreed.
"And now it seems like the rivalry continues. I heard of your battles with my daughters." Shuzen continued.
"I don't care! I'm going to get that rosary!" Tsukune shouted, suddenly bringing his head up and bashing Draco in the face, causing him to stagger back.
"Oh, no, my face! My precious modeling career!" Draco said in anger.
As he did this, he also elbowed Damion in the stomach causing him to stagger and throwing a punch at my face, which I stepped back to avoid. "You son of a bitch!" Damion said, letting out a noise vampires often make that sounds like a mix of a hiss and a roar (watch any of the Blade movies with Wesley Snipes, you'll know what I'm talking about. And you should watch them anyway for the hell of it, they're SO gods-damn epic!). He got ready to charge, when suddenly, count Shuzen spoke up.
"Wait! Human, you show determination I've never seen in one of your kind. Let us see how far that can get you. Fire demon, you are also interested in my true daughter and equally determined to prevent the human from sealing her away again. So let us see who's will is stronger. You two shall fight." He said.
"Oh this will be a good laugh." Damion said as he and Draco stepped back.
"Human noob about to get his ass handed to him." Draco agreed.
"Fine! If I have to, Sai, I'll go right through you! I won't let you stop me!" Tsukune said.
"Well, look at you, Tsukune. You're actually going to fight me. Well, not really fight, more like... Flailing angrily." I said confidently with my eyes closed.
"I can beat you! If we're really going to do this, Sai... I'll make you look like a punk!" He said challengingly.
My eyes snapped open at this moment, glowing red. "You little back-stabbing son of a bitch. I protected you in college, now I'm gonna kick your little ass!" I said.
Spider-man 3 reference!
[One of the only good lines or things in general about that movie.]
Background music: "Traitor" by Daughtry
"Now you die." I said, throwing off my trench coat, which landed far away with a giant thud, as it weighs about as much as Piccolo's cape thing. I then used my L'cie magic to cast various spells to boost Tsukune and down-grade myself, so it was as even as possible, but Tsukune still stood almost no chance.
"Tsukune, do you realize how absolutely fucked you are?" Damion asked.
"I'm not going to give up! Sai, you made a mistake! You gave me power... And it's enough to defeat you!" He said, rushing in.
"Well then, let's find out!" I say, preparing for his attack.
He rushed in and threw a right punch at my face again, but I merely stepped back with my right foot to get out of the way, then kneed him in the chest with my right knee. Then I grabbed the back his hair and pulled his head back with my left hand and delivered a palm strike to his face with my right hand. He staggered back, allowing me to do a jumping kick to his face and sending him flying back through a pillar.
"Ooh! That's gotta hurt!" Draco said excitedly, rubbing his hands together.
"Impressive." Shuzen said.
"Shuzen, please understand that this is no contest. It's like making Sai fight a fucking practice dummy." Damion said.
"Precisely. This human thought he was better than he is. Now he is learning his place." Shuzen explained.
"Is that... All you've got?" Tsukune asked weakly, slowly getting up out of the rubble.
"Pressing your luck, punk. I'm not even trying yet." I said.
"Aww!" Draco said, disappointed.
"Tsukune, you can't win. Why don't you understand that. You're lucky enough that Sai is even holding back right now." Damion said.
"I don't care! I'm not giving up! I want Moka back! And if I have to go through Sai to do it, I'll tear him apart!" He said.
"You are just begging to DIE!" I said, shooting a demon beam from my hand blasting him through another pillar into a wall, causing him to fall face-first onto the floor, looking lifeless.
"Poor deluded fool." Damion said, Draco having covered his eyes, peeking to see if the beatdown was over.
"Excellent. This human should've known he was no match for a monster. I must say, it's no surprise from the Blade Clan. You and Moka certainly have my blessing. It's not often I see a show like this. A demon taking his own power away, powering up a human, holding back and still effortlessly gaining victory. Quite entertaining." He said.
"I've always been a guy who likes to put on a show." I said.
Astonishingly, Tsukune managed to get up again. "I won't quit... Moka... I want Moka back..!" He said weakly.
"I'm getting sick of this. For the last time, she's not real. She was a phantom created by the rosary. Any feelings you've ever had for her are fake! She's been fake all along and she's never coming back!" I snapped.
"If only Dracula were here to see this. Too bad I was born a hybrid." Damion said.
"No! She was real! Even if she has two souls, the feelings I had for her and the hand of hers I touched were real! They were hers! I love both Moka's and I don't want to be without either of them!" He snapped.
"Maybe you should think about what SHE wants! She seems to be a hell of a lot happier with me in her true form than the fake form EVER was with you." I said.
"I'm going to get her back! And I don't want to Sai, but if I have to, I'll kill you for that to happen!" He said, pulling his hands back.
"Oh, my god. I can't believe he just said that." Draco said, his eyes wide as golf balls.
Damion started laughing.
"Now, what is that you're doing with your hands?" I asked, somewhat surprised when I saw a bluish-white light in his hands.
"Ka..."
"Is he really trying that?" Draco asked.
"Me..."
"He's gonna do it..." Damion said, surprised.
"Ha..."
"What is that he's doing?" Shuzen asked, confused.
"Me..."
"I'll give you this one move, Tsukune. But after this, you are going to die. Last chance to give up." I warned him.
"This is stupid." Damion said.
"HAAAAAAA!" He shouted, shooting the attack at me, but I remained unmoving and unflinching as the light engulfed me and removed me from the sight of the others.
"Hey, where'd he go?!" Draco asked.
"Why would he just stand there?" Shuzen asked in somewhat disbelief. Sure it was a human, but that attack looked powerful enough to at least do damage to the person previously dominating the fight.
"Shuzen, Shuzen, Relaaax. It's only half time." Damion explained coolly and calmly.
"I think... I got him." Tsukune said, looking at the smoke from the blast he had caused. But then, his heart sank as my evil laughter filled the room (think Vegeta's laugh in the opening scene of his "Renegade for Life" gameplays).
The smoke cleared as I launched a wind spell to reveal I was completely unscathed. "Sorry, but I didn't feel a thing." I said.
"No... I gave that everything I had..." Tsukune said sadly. Clearly he had lost all hope for this battle. Ahahahahahahaha!
[Let's put the poor fool out of his misery, already...]
Aww! I wanted him to suffer a little longer!
(Oh, he will, I've got one more trick in mind before he dies.) I explained. "Now then. Watch this, Tsukune..." I said, using demon energy to take the rosary from Shuzen's hand and float it over to me, holding it in one hand and snapping it.
"No..." He said, shocked and his eyes full of tears.
"Damn, man, that's pretty fucked up." Draco said.
"Draco, shut up." Damion said.
"You bastard!" Tsukune shouted running in, but I merely bitch-slapped him and took him to the floor.
"And now you die" I said, holding up on hand lit on fire, until someone grabbed that hand just below the wrist.
"That's enough, Sai. You've put him through more than he should've been able to take. You can stop now." Moka said.
"Yeah, we're supposed to protect humans, remember?" Lady asked.
"Fine, whatever." I said, picking him up and throwing him towards the door.
"Damn!" Damion and Draco said together as we all left. We were walking slowly, but then Moka picked up the pace a bit.
"We should really hurry up and get out of here." She said.
"Why's that?" I asked.
"Ms. Kokoa's father has a policy about his castles! If one gets infiltrated, he destroys it!" Kou said.
"What?!" We all shouted.
"Tsukune, you better pray to whoever you pray to that Hookfang is awake!" I said, grabbing everyone and jumping out the window, whistling. Thankfully, the dragon flew at us as fast as he could and I let everyone go. All the people I liked landed in close proximity to each other on his back, but Tsukune unfortunately got his legs impaled through the knees on the spikes of Hookfang's tail. "Man, sucks to be you." I said, wincing a bit as we landed back on the other side of the drawbridge.
Long story short, we now went back to the school, had a party for no apparent reason, Kokoa got a much-deserved spanking from her father and with no future seasons in sight and even if there will be, I'm not patient enough to wait for the English dub, besides, Gonzo got hit in a tsunami so they had to drop RV and several other anime, here's what happened: We graduated from college, I got married to Lady and, after I don't know how long of convincing Lady to let me do so, Moka as well. Damion and Mizore as well and even Selene and Serena also tied the knot and now the Blade clan has 3 new badass members and Devil May Cry has... Moka, Mizore, Damion, Selene, Draco, Nicolas, Serena... 7 new awesome members, making us stronger and more effective than ever before, Yukari went through some therapy, went full lesbian and started a relationship with Ruby and Tsukune, out of despair, desperation, loneliness and lack of a better option, married Kurumu, now they both live barely happily together while all the good people we liked in this story continue to live happy lives. Great ending, huh? Well, that's it... You read it all... Your done. Go outside and do something.