Title: Rollercoaster

Author: ZombieJazz

Fandom: Law & Order: SVU

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.

Summary: Elliot has left SVU - and it hits Olivia hard. His departure has some implications for her work life and her personal life. She tries to figure out what it means for her own identity, her new marriage, and her work situation. In the midst of it all, she's also having to navigate new squad members at work and still deal with being the mother of a sick child. This story takes place just several months after the conclusion of Undeserved in my AU series of stories.

Author's Notes: This AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. My stories are not EO and never will be. You may want to read some of my other ones for context on the characters in this AU first - though, it's likely fairly self-explanatory on its own too.

WARNING: THIS STORY MIGHT KIND OF BE A SPOILER FOR READERS OF UNDESERVED.

Olivia felt herself inwardly groan a bit when she saw Rollins wandering towards her in the backyard. She knew it would happen eventually. It wasn't like the detective knew anyone else at the function and she was clearly trying to make friends. Olivia just didn't have the patience for it. She was tired after the week at work – and the weekend wasn't proving to be much of a break, especially with the early rising for Will's race. She loved seeing Will participate in things he loved – and to see him do well at them. But she could do without the 5 a.m. start time on a long weekend, which she never got enough of.

Beyond that, Noah had been bickering and roughhousing with Kyle so she'd had to be in Mommy Mode for more of the afternoon than she would've liked. Will was busy goofing around and coming down from his adrenaline high from the race. After his races seemed to be about the only time he soaked in much of the attention he got for any of his accomplishments – and he actually seemed to accept it. Though, she knew some of that was just because she was still networking to try to garner from extra cash for his charity's final tally. But it had meant she'd been left on her own. Will off chit-chatting and her playing referee or watching from the distance what her son was up to now. He was hardly keeping still. What had concerned her more was the near instant bruise that had appeared on his body when she'd gone over to break up him and Kyle. She found herself reflecting on it a little too much.

Still, she likely would've preferred to reflect on that than try to make more small talk with Rollins. She just didn't feel like talking to really anyone these days. She was at a barbecue surrounded by Will's family and generally speaking by people she now knew and who knew her on some level too. But she just wanted to be left alone. Somehow it seemed strange to be at the end-of-summer barbecue without Elliot and Kathy and Eli there. Even though they'd only come to two. She would've been more compelled to go and stand with the other cops in attendance and shoot the shit if Elliot had been there, though. He was better at that. When he wanted to be.

"Hey," Rollins greeted her with a smile and joined her in leaning against the raised deck at the back of Ted and May's – looking out across the crowded backyards.

Noah was sort of out of sight at the moment but she wasn't really looking at him right now anyways. She knew screaming would alert her if something went too horribly wrong with where the boys were playing off in Tom's yard. Though, she'd have to hear the screaming over the music, which was where her eyes were set at the moment. Will and one of his colleagues from the math department had very near pushed most of his nephew's band off stage so they could goof around on their own.

It wasn't entirely goofing around. Olivia knew he was trying to make it look like they'd just jumped up there and were doing a little jam session. But that wasn't entirely true. Will's fiddling with his guitar had never stopped and he'd eventually started jamming with some of the guys at the university – to the point that there were some nights that he stayed late to make time for it. Music creeping more into their lives – beyond the never-ending soundtrack they had playing in their house near constantly – had only become more visible since the hurricane.

During the clean-up efforts, Ted and May had asked if they'd be able to store the piano from the house. It really had been the least they could do – and Olivia really didn't mind having to rearrange some of the living room (moving most of Noah's play area in that space into his bedroom or down into the basement) to accommodate it.

She loved when Will played the piano. She enjoyed it far more than listening to him plunk away on the guitar. Though, she'd admit she enjoyed his humming and his occasionally mumbled lyrics at her while he did that too. But it was different on the piano. He was more talented on it. Years and years of lessons in his youth and years more of math logic invisibly instructing his hands across the keys to bring out this beautiful sound.

She loved how in the zone – how far away – her husband could sometimes look while he played. How she could sit down next to him on the bench and there were times he'd hardly have noticed she'd joined him. How sometimes he'd play loud and silly and other times he'd play such complex, soft and heart-wrenching movements. She loved more how he was slowly teaching their son and she could watch his little finger move across the keys too in time with simple classics as he learned. She loved how it provided that visual reminded of what a talented teacher Will was. How patient, caring and giving he was as a teacher – and as a father.

The clean-up was near done but no mention had been made about the piano returning to Staten Island. Olivia hoped the request wouldn't come.

"Hey," she allowed back to Rollins but hardly glanced at her.

She felt Rollins eyes settle up on the little riser Will and his friend were one – his one nephew still being left with the drums while Will flitted between a guitar and keyboard and his friend just stuck with the bass.

"He's pretty good," Rollins told her. "He's got an interesting voice."

Olivia snorted at that and gave her a small glance. She wasn't sure she liked that assessment. But she wasn't really sure how much she liked any of the detective's assessment of Will that was clearly going on. The woman might as well be leering at him – no matter how nonchalant she was trying to be about it. Olivia had noticed. It wasn't really something she was used to dealing with. Elliot would've never have checked out her husband. Scare away boyfriends – yes. Look at them like he was taking his clothes off with his eyes – no.

Olivia was more than aware Will was attractive. He'd always had a soft little boy quality about him that carried some cuteness. After she'd become more aware of his form herself, she had to admit that it had helped in the physical attraction department. And, she'd definitely made Will a bit of a project over the years in terms of dressing him. Some things about his attire choices would never change. But she at least made sure that his clothes fit him for the most part – and had gotten rid of some of his outfit choices that were way too young for him or way too old for him. With the way Rollins had been looking at him on Friday, though, and again in the finishing chute today, Olivia was starting to wonder how many of the young female students in Will's class gave him the same looks and flirted with him. The good news was that Will usually was mostly oblivious to any of that. And, she was sure he was hardly noticing that Rollins was examining him like a slide from a crime scene under a microscope. Though, her husband had turned on some of his charm and his flirty voice since arriving at the McTeagues. Being around his family and his family function's sometimes did that to him. Add in that he was milking people for donations – and it was even worse. Olivia, though, was going to be unimpressed if any of the McTeague charm started being directed at Rollins.

"He's something …" Olivia near mumbled.

She felt Rollins examining her more at that, though she refused to return the gaze – keeping her eyes fixed on him. She would've preferred to watch Will alone. She knew he was putting himself out there and that sometimes that backfired for him. She didn't think any of his brothers – or anyone else – would be too much of an asshole to him on 'his' day with the race. But sometimes people were mean and sometimes Will seemed to be a magnet for that meanness. She thought that day it would mostly just be teasing. Still she intended to protect him from that even if that emerged – because really, he sounded OK to her and he was happy. That was all that mattered.

"Is it his band?" Rollins seemed to try again – just not giving up.

Olivia allowed her a small glance at that and shook her head. "No," she said and pointed. "The guy on the bass is from the NYU math department too and the kid on drums is his nephew. It was his nephew's band that was up there earlier. Will's just goofing around. He turned 40 earlier this year. Had a mid-life crisis. Decided he was a rock star."

Rollins allowed a small snort at that and Olivia gave her another glance to see she was smiling. "Sounds like you're just humoring him."

Olivia shrugged. "A large percentage of marriage seems to be humoring the other person."

"Oh yeah …" Rollins said with a sip from her beer bottle. She'd clearly been served by Tom. She didn't have the good stuff. "What's he humor you on?"

Olivia let her eyes move back to Will on that and brought her own bottle to her mouth. "My job," she mumbled.

She felt Rollins eyeing her again. "I'm just amazed he has that much energy after running a triathlon," she stated.

Olivia allowed her another little look. "It's because he hasn't stopped yet. He'll pay for it all tonight."

Again the look settled on her. "Oh …", Rollins said. "I'd just sort of assumed that you guys had gone upstairs so he could rest for a bit."

Olivia rubbed her eyebrow at that and examined the ground. She'd felt a little bad leaving Rollins down in the living room of Ted and May's house while the three of them retreated wordlessly upstairs. Well almost wordlessly. Noah hadn't exactly been wordless. It had taken a bit to get him to settle into a nap but it had happened.

Still, she'd needed some time to decompress and rest and wake-up from the day's early start. She knew Will needed time to rest – even though he never really settled either. But at least he'd had some privacy to shower and change. And, she might've helped a bit in that process. It may have become a minor little tradition following his races. And, it was about the only time they did anything that remotely resembled sneaking around in his parents' house. They were far too busy getting ready for the barbecue to notice – and if anyone had any hint that they were showering together, they hadn't let on over the years. Not that it happened often at the McTeagues' house and they were careful to maintain their privacy. It still might not have been the best choice when one of the new detectives was downstairs. But Olivia had known that her in-laws would keep her distracted and busy whether she liked it or not.

Rob had barely introduced Rollins as one of the new detectives in the squad room before Ted was pumping her hand and patting her on the shoulder like he'd just found a potential new daughter-in-law. Or maybe granddaughter-in-law or someone to hand off to any number of the young firefighters who'd be tapering through the backyards that afternoon. May had taken over the greetings quickly – even though Olivia suspected that Rollins would've rather tugged on Ted's ears with endless questions (Ted likely would've enjoyed that attention too). The younger detective had been marched away to the kitchen so May could hear all about where she was from and working in the city and … etcetera, etcetera, etcetera … while she helped make potato salad. Olivia had seen Rollins glance over her shoulder at her like she wanted to be saved but she'd hardly restrained a small as she took up the rear and followed her boys upstairs. She was happy to let someone else deal with May for a while – especially first-time May introductions. It seemed to take years to get used to them – especially if you weren't one to want to spend your afternoon hen-pecking in the kitchen.

Olivia shook her head. "No. He showered. Changed. We put Noah down for a bit of a nap. We just needed some … time before coming out to this."

And, that was true. They always needed time before submitting themselves to a McTeague event. Neither her nor Will really enjoyed them – at least not in the way that the rest of his family did. They both preferred to avoid crowds and chaos. Rowdiness and nothing was quite as rowdy as the end of summer barbecue. This one was at a new height of crazy since it was the first gathering that the McTeagues had hosted since Sandy. They had still had an open house on Christmas Eve – but it was a far smaller and more intimate gathering than usual. Olivia had actually like it far better than other functions she'd attended over the years. But there hadn't been any other official events. No St. Patrick's Day, no Fourth of July, no backyard barbecues. Because they'd spent much of the spring and summer working at recovering the backyards. As the snow had melted – the blanket that had hidden some of the disaster so they could try to forget about it for a few months and focus on dealing with the houses interiors – it had become much clearer how much work there was still left to do.

"We spent nearly every weekend here this summer," Olivia allowed. "This area was bad hit by Sandy. We did a lot of work in the backyards the past few months. Get it cleaned up in time for this. Part of the reason there are so many people here …"

Rollins looked at her and glanced around. "There are a lot of people …"

Olivia shrugged. "There's always a lot of people at everything McTeague. But this is a lot of people … even for them."

Rollins gazed at her again. "I knew Staten Island was hit bad – but would've thought this was enough inland."

Olivia shook her head and directed the neck of her bottle towards the fence of the yard. "The water's only about two blocks that way. If it was quieter here – you'd hear it. We're in Tottenville."

Rollins eyes got bigger in recognition of the community's name. The news images – that really didn't do the mess and devastation justice – likely painting across her mind's eye.

"This is where those kids got swept away?" she asked quietly.

Olivia allowed a small nod. "That was a different area of the neighborhood. But just down the street, is where the cop died in his home during the flooding."

"Wow," Rollins mouthed quietly. "So did the house take a lot of damage?"

Olivia glanced at her from watching Will again. She didn't want to think about the hurricane too much. It had been emotionally rattling in so many different ways.

She shook her head. "Ted and May's house didn't do too badly," she said but pointed over to the yard Noah was playing in. She could just barely make him out between all the people. "That's Tom's house," she said and then used her bottle to point the opposite direction. "Rob's. Rob's took the worst. Basements flooded. The water didn't rise too high here. A few inches. It started receding basically in the middle of the street. But we had to rebuild all the decks," she said and tapped the one she was leaning against, that she'd actually been rather heavily involved in all the nailing and painting of. "The fences. The landscaping. Garden. New shed." She pointed over to where Noah was playing again. "New swing set, sandbox."

She stopped realizing how much she was talking. She hadn't intended to be that open to Rollins. That surprised her. But it almost surprised her more how she was talking about the McTeague's properties like they were her own. Her home. Her sanctuary. She supposed in a way they had become that. If the wedding and the devastation left by Sandy hadn't solidified that – working with Will's family to rebuild what they had there, and the community – had. They'd all put most of their summer into the projects and the rebuild and the clean-up. They'd been there near every weekend. There'd even been some points where they were coming across after work on week days in the effort to try to get life back to 'normal' – and to reach Ted's goal of still hosting the barbecue.

They'd had their own barbecues in the yard in the process – like always. But they felt different. They had Noah down to the shoreline like always – but it was different. They'd found new ice cream and coffee shops after some of their favorites weren't yet rebuilt or opened – some not planning to. They'd wandered along the still closed beaches and lamented about lost shorelines and battered playgrounds. They'd been there to the point that May had started in on them again about moving to the island – and her and Will had again stress that wasn't going to happen. No matter how much they liked coming over. That was likely the biggest change. They were doing more work on their visits now – it was less about visiting. But somehow it didn't feel like as much of a chore or an obligation anymore. It felt like a place they were supposed to be – and wanted to be. At least most of the time.

"They here to sandbag the houses to keep the water out?" Rollins asked. "Or this an evacuation zone?"

"Mmm," Olivia took another sip of her beer. "This was on the border. Ted and Will stayed and sandbagged. Guys got called into work."

"You here during the storm then? Or work?"

Olivia shook her head. "No," she said rather quietly. "Took Noah home. May came with us."

"That mustta been fun," Rollins said drily. "Your mother-in-law seems like a character."

Olivia snorted but allowed her a thin smile. "She just takes some getting used to. She's a kind woman."

She wasn't sure she'd let Rollins say much more then that – even about May. May was a kind woman who'd done a lot for her and Noah. And she'd raised the man who she loved immensely and was a wonderful husband and father. So she'd done more than something right. She didn't really care much many potatoes Rollins had to peel while May prattled her ear off in the kitchen. She didn't care about all her own misgivings about May at the start – or how May still irritated and annoyed her at times. She wasn't going to let anyone say anything ill about the woman.

"You meet Will through his family? Work with the union?" Rollins changed the subject, though. But it still felt like an even greater intrusion.

"No," Olivia said a little more firmly. "We were neighbors. I didn't know he was a 'McTeague'," she said and made sarcastic quotes with her fingers to illustrate her disgust with the line of questioning and all the notions that went around the family name.

She'd come to appreciate Will's distaste of being defined by his name and not who he was and his own work. She'd caught glimpses of it previously when they were together and people caught wind of who she was in a relationship with. But there'd definitely been incidents since their marriage where people seemed to think it was OK to define her as "McTeague" – like suddenly her years of work, her closure rate, everything she'd done for victims, everything she'd dedicated to the city and to the law and to crime reduction, and to advocacy had been reduced to her being 'one of them'. And, she despised it. She certainly wasn't going to let the new detectives reduce her to something that she'd married into – through a man that kept himself as much of an arm's length away from it as he could.

She didn't have to comment further though as there was a clatter of feet next to her head and "Aunt 'Livia" was barked at her. She looked up to see Tommy Jr. gazing down at her. "Nana is making floats. She wants to know if Noey can have one."

Olivia sighed and shook her head. "No, Tommy. Tell her his stomach isn't up for that right now."

Tommy made a noise and stomped his one foot and flopped more forcibly against the railing. It was fairly clear in that reaction that what May had really said was that if Noah was allowed then she'd make one for all the grandchildren. Her vetoing it for Noah meant she was vetoing it for all of them.

"What about a popsicle? Can he have that?" Tommy huffed.

She nodded and gave him a thin smile. "Sure. Not red, though," she told him, though she knew May already knew that for when Noah got offered one.

Tommy groaned and started back across the deck mumbling, "Popsicles suck …"

Olivia snorted and rubbed at her eyebrow, scanning the yard to see if Noah already knew about this. Not likely. He would've been on the one out asking if he was in proximity to the treats. But as she searched the yards for her son again she felt Rollins' gaze on her again. She glanced at her. Her annoyance growing again.

"You don't have to hang on every word or look at me like that. Or him," she said looking back to the yard and spotting Noah at the edge of the little band platform talking to Will, who looked like he was about to give up the gig for the time being.

She met Rollins eyes directly at that point. The younger detective seemed to be sputtering a bit. Trying to find something to say or figure out if she should be offering an apology. Any way to respond really.

"He has leukemia," Olivia said bluntly. "He's in remission. He's on long-term maintenance therapy to keep him that way. It's why I'm late on Thursdays. Why I have sick days every month. And it's why I'm not going to be on Tuesday."

Rollins continued to gap at her and shook her head like she was surprised she'd even said it.

"Ah … I'm sorry …" Rollins finally managed to get out.

Olivia snorted. "Don't be sorry. Sorry for what?"

She hated that reaction from people almost as much as she hated the looks she got from them when they found out. But she much preferred to take the brunt of those looks or empty apologies than for adults to be casting those regretful gazes at her little boy. Her beautiful, happy, full of life little boy – no matter what was lurking in his body. He was hers and he didn't need anyone's pity.

"It's just … he seems like a fun kid …" Amanda blurted out, clearly not knowing what else to say.

Olivia let out another small laugh like that – an almost real one though it was more prompted by the absurdity of the statement rather than any actual humor. She did allow a thin smile, though, and a shake of her head.

"Yeah, he is," she agreed. "But I'm somewhat biased …"

Will was walking over to them at that point and Olivia felt the urge to move before he could join in on the conversation. But Rollins had distracted her enough that her husband was almost to them by the time she realized he was making his way through the crowd.

As he got a few feet away in the small gap between them and the swarm of people, he stopped and started mouthing the lyrics of "What Makes You Beautiful" that was now blasting on the speakers, clearly courtesy of one of the grandkids' playlists, while doing a horrifyingly ridiculous dance routine, taking particular attention to flicking his imaginary hair (which had now already been shaved into a buzz cut to get out most of the green) each time the boy band sang about how such a movement made them overwhelmed. She tried not to smile at him. It was hard. He looked ridiculous and if they were at home her grin likely would've been painted across her face. But right now they were standing in front of Rollins who hardly knew them and she wasn't all that excited about letting the young detective have more glimpses of her private life than she already had gotten that day.

So instead she shook her head, rolled her eyes and smiled at the ground – apparently at the exact right moment, matching the lyrics of the song – and Will let out an "Ooooooooohhhhh" and pointed at her teasingly with his own wide grin.

"You're an ass," she informed him.

"You don't know that you're beautiful," he said, leaning into her and whispering it into her ear at a level that she hoped that Rollins didn't hear. He moved away a bit and took her one hand. "Come dance with me," he suggested.

She snorted at him and shook her head again. "I'm not dancing to One Direction, Will."

He shrugged. "Why not?" he asked and nodded his head to where some of the preteen girls at the barbecue had gathered near one of the speakers and were bobbing around. "They are?"

"They're twelve," Olivia contended.

Will examined them for a moment and then leaned against the deck next to her. "I think some of them are thirteen actually."

They all just stood there silently for a moment. It was about the quietest and stillest she'd seen Will since they'd come down to the party. She knew as he stilled, the fatigue of the day set into him and he wouldn't likely let himself be quiet and still for too long. In their shower earlier, he'd near draped against her in a hug while the hot water beat down against his back. Sometimes she thought it was a bad idea for them to skip out of the festivities at the end of the triathlon early and all the niceties that went with them. Will could've gotten a free massage and some rejuvenation and physical therapy to help with his brutalized joints and aching muscles. Some hydration and medical staff around to monitor him as he rebounded from the race. Instead they'd hopped into the crammed SUV and made their way to Staten Island where he was still going – under the beating sun and hydrating himself with beer.

He reached for hers then. She thought about commenting. Telling him he didn't need it. That he should get some water – or about anything other than alcohol. But she let him take it from her hand and she watched him. He didn't even look at the bottle while he brought it to his mouth and took a gulp. She watched his face as disgust painted across it and he looked at her with near horrified eyes. He turned away and spat it out on the ground.

"BLAH! WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?" he demanded and maneuvered the bottle to examine the label. "God. That tastes like warm piss."

She snorted at that and shook her head. She glanced at Rollins who was clearly amused by his reaction as well but was trying to avoid showing it.

"Talk to your brother about it," she stated flatly.

He made a gagging sound. "Why are you accepting beer from TOM!?" he spat and then spat on the ground again and handed the bottle back out. "Actually … you should just dump that on the ground," he stated and tried to grab it back.

She gripped it more tightly. "I'm drinking it, Will," she told him sternly.

"It's warm on top of being disgusting," he informed her.

"I'm drinking it," she told him sternly again and shot him daggers. She wasn't sure she wanted too much of his personality – or how he interacted with her when he was relaxed and they were in their private lives – around Rollins.

He gave her a look but leaned around her. "What are you drinking Georgia?"

"Her name is Rollins," Olivia informed him.

He glanced at her. "Her name is Amanda," he put back to her and then looked at the other detective. "Did my brother give you a beer too?"

"Ah …", Rollins said and turned the bottle for him to examine the table. "I don't know. Some guy at …" she pointed over to Tom's property, "that deck."

Will shook his head. "Why are you letting Tom give people beer?" he put back to Liv.

"I'm not letting Tom do anything," she said. "Tom's being Tom."

"We have beer in the fridge," he told her and eyed her like he expected her to suddenly becoming his servant.

"I'm not going to get it for you, Will," she put back to him. "You have legs."

"There's stairs," he informed her of the trip to the beer fridge in the basement of his parents' house.

She snorted. "Well, if that's a barrier to drinking what you want, I think it's a clear sign that you've had enough for the day."

"They're sore from the race," he rolled his eyes at her, not liking the suggestion he was drunk.

"So maybe you should be hydrating with something that isn't dehydrating then," she informed him.

He just shook his head at her and reached for her beer again.

"Oh … I thought this didn't meet your sophisticated tastes …" she teased.

"Firefighter piss …" he mumbled at her and took the bottle.

"DO NOT POUR IT ON THE GROUND," she told him firmly again.

He just made a sound but put the bottle to his mouth and took another swig. Though he again made a face and a gagging motion with his tongue and looked at her.

"Come dance with me," he said again when he was done that.

She shook her head again as he set the beer on the ledge of the deck behind them. She glanced at it. He'd drank most of what was left in the bottle in three swigs. There was barely a mouthful left.

"I don't want to dance, Will," she told him. Really it was more that she had no interest in dancing while Rollins was standing there awkwardly examining them. She didn't like her private life being under a microscope.

"I put some good stuff on the playlist before I came over," he said. "Coming up. The tweeny-boppers will vacate and make room for us."

She snorted. "Not right now."

He put his elbows on the deck. "Yeah. Don't want to give up your primo spot?" he teased.

"I don't feel like dancing," she put back at him and gave him near daggers telling him to drop it.

He sighed and again leaned around her. "Wanna dance Georgia?" She smacked him in the chest at that and he gave her a look. "What? You don't want to. Maybe she does."

"You don't just ask people you don't know to dance, Will," she informed him.

He snorted at her. "Umm … yeah. I think you do. Dating 101, Liv."

"I think you're supposed to be done dating. Though you are cruising towards having the opportunity to test those waters again," she told him.

He rolled his eyes. "Then I guess I better practice," he said and leaned around her again. "Wanna dance?"

Rollins looked like she might actually be considering leaving at that point and sort of shook her head and sputtered a bit.

"Ah … I don't really dance …" she allowed.

Will made a sound and leaned back against the deck again. "She's almost as uptight as you were," he muttered.

Olivia gave him a look. "Don't be rude," she told him directly.

He just shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Or obnoxious," she added.

"I'm the one being obnoxious?" he put to her. But craned his neck around her again and looked at Rollins. "Sorry," he said. "She didn't dance when I first met her either. She's a good dancer, though."

"Will …" she said more sternly and pushed his shoulder to settle him back against the deck.

He just shrugged and put his arm around her but she wasn't interested in having any displays of public affection in front of Rollins either. She shrugged and pulled forward her shoulder to remove it from his draped arm.

He looked more directly at her with that. Some upset filling his eyes.

"Oh … now I'm not allowed to touch you?"

She just glared at him and turned away. But she felt his eyes still drilling into her and she glanced back at him.

"Stop," he said simply as her eyes briefly met his. That was really all he needed to say. His eyes said the rest.

He knew exactly what was going on. The front she was putting up. Fronts and walls they'd been working on tearing down in becoming more comfortable with their relationship and marriage – and being a couple in front of people they knew. That they didn't need to have a public persona. That they could just be them. Even if the them wasn't really the person people from work might know.

That had been fine when the people from work were people she knew. But with the new faces – with one of them standing right next to her – she wasn't sure she was ready to let them see past Detective Benson and to Olivia yet. Will, though, wasn't happy about that. Or at least he wasn't happy that he wasn't getting to have a moment with his wife. Or that she clearly wasn't letting herself enjoy any aspect of the barbecue just because Rollins was there. And he wasn't going to let her ruin the afternoon for him – and he wasn't too happy about letting her ruin it for herself either.

He sighed and glanced around the lawns. "Well … if you aren't going to dance with me, I'm going to dance with Noah and then I'll really embarrass you," he stated. "And, it's too bad. Because our song is coming up. But you know … Noah does an OK version of it."

She snorted and gave him a thin smile. "What song is that?" she asked.

He smiled and shrugged. "Don't know … come dance with me and you'll find out …"

She sighed at him but then he pointed towards the speaker as "Some Nights" came on. It wasn't really their song. But it was a good one.

"Call it a draw?" he asked as the song expressed the same sentiment.

She rolled her eyes but gave him a shrug. He allowed a smile and took her hand and gave Rollins a nod. "See ya, Georgia …" he said, and started to guide her through the crowd. She let him. She let him too find a spot for them on the lawn and let his arms come around her waist and her own hands rest across the back of his shoulders.

"What do you stand for, Detective Benson?" he teased, as she forced herself to try to ignore the people around them and try not to think about the fact Rollins was there – now intruding on her private life and not just invading space she'd created for herself at work.

"Most nights I don't know," she admitted quietly with the song's lyrics. There was some truth to it anymore. She didn't know anymore. Not with the rug Elliot had pulled out from under her. Not how his absence from the job had shaken her own identity at the job. She didn't know anymore how she was supposed to do the work. Where she stood on the work. If she was even supposed to be there anymore. If it made sense for her to still be doing the job – if the mission still meant the same thing – with her partner now gone. And how she was going to manage any of it with Rollins and Amaro there now. It was never going to be the same. That much was clear.

"Good thing I know," Will informed her.

She snorted and gave him a look. "Is that so?"

He nodded at her and danced his eyes. "Yep," he assured. "And it's going to be OK."

She let out a small laugh at his catch phrase. "Is that so?" she put to him again.

"Yep," he said again. "And I'm going to kiss you now."

She allowed herself to smile a bit more at that. "Is that so?"

He nodded and moved a bit closer. "Yep," he said. "And I think Rollins might be looking … and she's probably a little jealous."

She smiled more at that. "She should be …" she allowed but his mouth had already captured hers in his.