16. Moonless Night

I'd seen the twin belly week by week pictures so I'd come to expect my belly getting bigger than I thought was possible but as I looked at myself in the mirror, ending my twenty-fourth week, month 6, I wondered just how in the hell my belly could keep stretching further. As it was I'd all ready begun to look like a human who was about to give birth to just one but I was nowhere near close to my presumed due date.

I had been surrounded by so much magic in my world that as I took the time to look at myself and my bare belly, I was reminded that the human world contained magic in it too. Despite the half humans I was carrying, my body was still proof of that: the way two cells could fertilize, microscopic organisms that couldn't be seen by the human eye and transform all the while transforming the mother's body in the process to allow for the cells growth. I could see the beauty at how the world endured. And it wasn't only my family line being able to carry on but Edward's too, the very family line that he believed had ended after Carlisle turned him.

I remembered back at the disaster of my birthday party that Edward believed his soul was damned. Even before the twins had been conceived I hadn't believed it and now with his offspring frolicking inside me, he was not damned at all. Rather he was saved and truly had something worth living for regardless if he returned or not.

I walked over to my bed and took a leaned sitting position, my back resting against the headboard. It was difficult to find a comfortable position these days. The boys had all gotten me a body pillow that looked like a huge letter 'C' that was used for side sleeping, as I was no longer content to sleep on my back. It was one of the most awkward things I'd seen. The top curve was for me to place my arms over while the bottom curve went tucked under my legs, leaving my belly to be held in the center.

Jacob had been right. These were moments, conversations I should have been having with Edward. Would he have been excited about our new pending arrivals or would he have been terrified? Did he know about hybrid or would he have had to do the research like I had and seen the graphic images of the baby biting its way out of it's mother, leaving her for dead? Would that have scared him? Would he have hated the baby for it?

I would have had to have been the optimist.

These babies weren't like the ones in mythology. These babies were angels like their father. And they were growing at a normal rate so they weren't like those other mythological babies.

I placed my hands on my bare belly. "You would have loved your dad," I said to them. "I hope you get to meet him someday."

Thinking about Edward and talking to the babies about him no longer felt like enough. I needed to know. I needed to see the reminder that he had been real.

I lowered the shirt I was wearing, struggled to get on my good hiking shoes, shuffled around for a pack in my closet and made my way to the kitchen for some snacks and plenty of water.

The wolves were out on patrol and Charlie was at work. Normally one of them would have been babysitting me but the wolves had gotten a strong lead on Victoria so Jake wanted all hands on deck.

The drive to the Cullen's was less than fifteen miles from our home, a lot closer than our previous home off K Street and 8th avenue.

I drove it's familiar winding drive way. Had it all ready been six months since I'd last been here? Somehow despite the passage of time as I parked in front of the large glass house, it felt like I was coming home. This was the place the babies should have known. Edward wasn't the deadbeat dad people around town still believed him to be. This is where Edward and I should have spent our time together, where he should have felt the babies kick for the first time, experiences that we should have had together but never would.

I forced myself to get out of the truck and cautiously made my way up the stairs to the front door. My center of gravity had altered so much, distorting my perception of where and how steep something was. I held on to the left sided cement potter as guidance until I reached the wooded porch railing. The door to the house was unlocked. A part of me feared this. If they'd left it unlocked maybe they weren't coming back.

I pushed those thoughts aside and forced myself into the house. It was just as I remembered it but at the same time it wasn't. The furniture and even the art and other wall hangings were all covered. It reminded me of some cultures that hid all their belongings with a shroud to honor the dead. Had Edward died too in the spiritual sense? Had our night together actually meant something to him? Did he really expect me to not come back here after they'd left? Why not just burn the house down if he wanted no trace of him left behind?

Nothing made sense anymore as I made my way to his room on the third floor. I was grateful for the railing. Like the rest of the house his room was covered in blankets of white.

And right there where it had been was the couch. It felt like my heart had stopped, being in this room alone had made me light headed as this was the room that belonged to Edward and him alone. I walked over to the couch, taking off its white sheet. I ran my hand across the familiar texture. It was painful to be here and yet I could not bring myself to leave. I took a seat on the couch but that didn't seem to satisfy me enough so I lay across it instead, curving my knees into as much a fetal position as was possible, wrapped my body with the white sheet, and wrapped my arms around my belly to cradle it, one hand on top, one underneath, my plan of wanting to hike to the meadow all but forgotten.

I could have stayed here for days and I wouldn't have known, it wouldn't' have mattered but Edward mattered. I could hear Edward calling my name. He'd come back, he was here!

"Bella," the voice sounded again but it wasn't Edward's voice I'd been hearing.

I opened my eyes slightly to see Jacob kneeling in front of me.

"Bella," he said again.

"Jacob," I asked slightly confused as I came to a sitting position. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you."

"How did you find me?"

"I followed your scent."

"I have a scent? Since when?"

"Well I guess it's more like they have a scent," he said motioning to my belly. "They smell like vampires but without the burning. She smells like a mixture of lavender and wet sage and the other twin smells like fall leaves and cedar."

"I don't smell anything."

Jacob looked away knowing he'd just given me yet another reason to change.

"What are you doing here Bella," he asked as he turned to face me.

I rubbed my belly and got up from the couch, making my way to the window. Though it was dark now, evidence of my time spent here as I'd arrived when it was still light out, looking out I could still remember when Edward swiftly put me on his back. We'd flown out the window and he began climbing the trees.

"I wanted to remember," I said not looking at my best friend, my hands crossed and using my belly as a shelf.

"I'm due in three months Jacob; at least that's when we think I am. It shouldn't be this way. He should be here."

"Can I ask you something," he said coming to my side. I nodded. "How come he left?"

"Quick answer: he wanted the same thing as you. He wanted me to be human and live a normal human life."

"What's the long answer?"

"The long answer is he wanted to keep me safe. Edward blamed himself for James coming after me. Then on my birthday I got a paper cut and Jasper nearly attacked me. Edward thought I'd be safe if he wasn't around."

"Too bad your vamps don't have the same kind of bond that we do. If I'd imprinted on you I wouldn't leave unless you ordered me away."

"That's the difference between you and them: they still have their free will."

Jacob remained silent for a moment and then spoke up. "I guess I just assumed if his love is unchanging like yours seems to be then he would have stayed regardless."

"Assume has a name, Jacob, it's 'Ass'," I said directing the word to him.

He didn't take it personally the way I thought he would though instead he just laughed it off.

"I'm sorry that wasn't fair." I could feel his eyes on me as I stared out at the moonless night, my hands now cradling my belly. "What's in that head of yours Bella?"

I took a deep breath. "When I do go into labor, I want to have the babies here. We haven't really talked much about where I would have them. There's the hospital, our place at Charlie's or the clinic on the reservation but none of them seem right. This- this is the place."

"Here?"

"This is part of their home Jacob. I don't want the twins to only know about my life and their Quileute family. They deserve to know about their father and where he came from. There are more than enough rooms. I'm sure we can get one of them suited as a medical exam and delivery room. I was thinking about Carlisle's library since it's the biggest room on the second floor. I'm not asking you Jacob. I need this at least, okay?"

Jacob wrapped an arm around me and pulled me in. His other arm wrapped below my belly so that his was on top of mine, cradling the belly via second hand. Vanessa kicked, at least I was pretty sure it was her.

"Okay," he said.