I pace my room nervously as I wait. The only thing I have thought about all week is seeing Four tonight, and my mother just informed me we are having guests for dinner, which means they will leave late, and we will most likely get to bed late, and that could ruin everything. He'll wait I think. Even if we only get five minutes with each other, it's worth it.

Caleb and I are asked to prepare food for six. I'm certain it's dad's work colleague's, which means time will go by even slower, seeing as how Caleb and I, and even our mother, are mostly ignored. I am cutting potatoes when I notice that this is the third time Caleb has wiped his eyes.

"Are you crying?" I whisper.
"No. I'm fine. Just do your work, Beatrice."
I'm so over his insistence at being so damn selfless, I slam my knife down on the counter. "No. Talk to me Caleb, or I'm going to mom."
"You wouldn't."

I turn to leave the kitchen, but he grabs my arm. "Fine. It's just that I realized something, and I'm not sure how to process it. You'll know soon enough, okay? I promise."
"Caleb, you can tell me. I can help you."
"The thing is Beatrice, I don't think you can." My brother's eyes are sad, but honest this time, and right now I understand the need for some secrets; I have many of my own.
"Okay," I say. He gives me a small hug and we turn our attention back to dinner.

I sit quietly and keep my head down as my father talks work with our guests. I know one of them very well, Noah Black, our neighbor and Susan and Roberts dad. He offers us rides to school sometimes, but we always decline.

The other is Marcus Eaton. I haven't had very much interaction with him, but that doesn't stop me from getting an uneasy feeling whenever he is around. His mannerisms give off the appearance of being the perfect Abnegation citizen, but his eyes betray him; they are cold and lifeless. There's something else about him though, something I can't quite place.

As the conversations lulls, my mother says, "Why don't the kids and I clean up while you guys head to the living room?"
"Oh Natalie, let me at least help you carry the dishes into the kitchen," Marcus says. I look up as he stands, and that's when I realize what that something is. The light above our table hangs low, low enough to cast shadows on his face. Low enough to make his eyes look dark and hollow.

Low enough to make the memory come crashing down on me.

I avert my eyes quickly. "No, that's okay Mr. Eaton. Caleb and I can do it. Thank you though," I say as calmly as I can. If I am right, and the not so silent accusations are right, I don't want to be anywhere near this man.
"How very nice of you, Beatrice," he says, and gestures for my father and Mr. Black to head into our living room first.

My mind races as I help my mother and brother do the dishes. I know Marcus had a son that transferred, to Dauntless, of all places. And their eyes; both so blue they're almost black, are black, when the light hits them the same way. Could it really be him?

My mothers eyes have found mine a few times tonight, and each time, she has given me a small smile, or a gentle nod of her head, and I wonder if there is more to it. I contemplate asking her directly, but Caleb and I are excused to our rooms and I gladly take the opportunity to be alone.

I dwell on everything for some time in my room, but I have too many questions. Caleb always seems to have an answer, or at least a theory for everything, and I am desperate. I walk into his room, too preoccupied to remember to knock, and immediately stop in my tracks.

"What is that?" I ask, pointing to the small rectangular object in his hands.
"Nothing, Beatrice! Get out and shut the door!"
I close the door behind me, but I don't move. "No. Is that a tablet? Is it dads? Did he say you could use it?"

He quickly turns it off and shoves it under his pillow. I can tell that no matter what answers he gives me, he's in trouble. I walk to his bed and sit down. "Caleb, I promise I won't say anything. Just tell me something, anything. What is going on?"

He sighs as he hangs his head. I give him a few moments before I speak again. "Caleb?"
"My partner," he says, bringing his eyes to mine. "You know, from the program? She gave it to me."
"Your partner was...Erudite?" I ask, knowing that besides government officials, they are the only ones with this kind of technology.
"Yes."
"Okay, so why do you have it?"
"She wanted to have a way to keep contact with me." I make a mental note of the irony.
"She," I say.
"Yes, she. And no, it's not like that."
"Then what is it like?"

He runs a hand down his face, and I don't know how or when it happened, but he looks older. "My partner was...Jeanine Matthews."
I'm silent for a moment as I take in what my brother just said. "And the leader of Erudite wants to keep in contact with you because...?"
"Because she saw potential in me."
"Potential?" I say quietly, unsure if I really want the answer to the question I'm about to ask. "Like, working with Erudite when you become an Abnegation council member potential, or, becoming Erudite potential?"
"Beatrice, I...," he trails off, sort of half shrugging, half gesturing his hands in confusion. "Please don't say anything," he pleads. "Mom and dad, especially dad, would never understand."

I think about the consequences of what would happen, to either one of us, for what we're doing. Would they make my brother Factionless? Me?

"I won't say anything. On one condition. Well, two. First, if for any reason I'm not here when I'm supposed to be, you will agree and go along with whatever story I tell mom and dad if I get caught."
"Beatrice, I don't-"
"You agree or I won't cover for you," I say, cutting him off.
"Fine," he sighs. "Just promise me you're being cautious with whatever it is you're doing."
"I am. And second, what do you know about Marcus Eaton's son?"

"His son? Why?"
"Just tell me what you know. I know Marcus' wife died, and I know his son transferred, and that there were accusations of abuse, but that's it."
"That's basically all I know. It was two years ago. His name was Tobias."

Tobias.

I remember it now, going to his mothers funeral. I was young, but there was a young boy there too, purposely avoiding everything and everyone. We gave our condolences and left, and as I looked back at the house, he was looking at us through the window. I smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"The Erudite claimed that he beat his son after that," Caleb continues, "And that's why he defected and chose Dauntless. Nothing ever came of it, but every now and then, the papers bring it back up in hopes to oust Marcus, and all of Abnegation really, from their leadership positions."

"Is this they type of stuff Jeanine talks to you about?" I ask, thinking back to the conversation he and our father had a couple weeks ago.
"Sometimes," he says quietly.
"Do you believe her?"
"I honestly don't know. Both sides have valid points."

I sit on my brothers bed and watch him. He looks relieved to have told me all of this, but there's something else there too; worry, maybe. If he does transfer to Erudite, our father is going to be devastated. I can't even begin to think of the conflict going on inside of him.

"Caleb, I don't know what to say to you, or really what to think of all of this. I mean, it is your decision, but..." I pause, unsure of what it is I even want to say to him. I could beg him not to do this, or I could beg him to remember his selfless upbringing and what it means to our parents, but I don't. Instead I just tell him what he needs to hear; that I'm not going to judge him. "Can you just promise me that you'll be safe too, and that you won't make any rash decisions?"
"Yes," he breathes out quietly.

I shut my brothers door tight and head back to my room. Everything that has happened tonight makes me even more eager to see Four.

"Four?" I call out as I make my way towards him. The light creeps out from underneath the door and it opens just as before, this time to a smiling face. I make my way into our secret room and take a seat on my bucket, which seems to have moved closer to Four's since last week.

"Hey," he says as he sits, still sounding a little nervous. "How was your week?"
"Miserable. Boring. Predictable. All I could think about was tonight," I say, flushing immediately at how easy it is to admit things around him. "Yours?" I ask.
"Same. I had to head out to Amity and help with their system. Dauntless excitement knows no bounds," he says with a small smile.

I smile. "Listen, I hate to get serious so quick, but I need to ask you something."
"Okay," he says as he leans in and gives me his undivided attention.
"Please answer me truthfully. You're original faction, it was Abnegation, wasn't it?"
He takes a deep breath and pulls himself up straight. "What good does it do to know that? I'm Dauntless now, and that's all that matters."

"Stop it," I say forcefully. "You claim we're friends. You're willing to sneak out and break rules and willing to let me do the same, but you cannot, no, will not answer a simple question. Why is that?"
"Because it's not that simple, Tris."
"Fine then. I think we're done," I say, standing up.
"Wait," he says as I move towards the door. "Please don't go."

I move slowly back to my bucket, and sit. "I'm sorry if you think I'm pushing too hard," I say softly, "And I'm sorry if I'm forcing you to tell me things quicker than you had planned, but I need to know."
"I think that maybe you already know the answer," he says.
"Maybe I do."
"Then tell me."

He looks at the floor and it draws my eyes down too, and I focus on what's in front of me; his hands. I reach out and take one after a moment, and inspect it for new cuts before doing the same to the other, and I find myself relieved that there are none. I don't let go when I am done.
"Your hands are healing, Tobias," I say apprehensively.

His body shakes as he lets out a loud breath. "Your secrets safe with me. I promise," I say gently.
"I know," he says quietly. "It's been a long time. I was so sure I would never hear my name again, let alone find anyone worth telling it to."
"Well, technically, you didn't tell me," I say with a small smile. He looks up finally, and there's a faint hint of a smile on his face too.
"Tris," he says, "Will you say it again?"
"Tobias," I say, this time louder and more confident.

He closes his eyes as I say it, and it feels like he has been waiting for this moment his entire life. When he finally opens them, they don't look as dark as they did before, and the way he looks into mine makes me feel like I am the only other person in the entire city. That light is flickering in them, and I suddenly want nothing more than to turn it into a raging fire; one that can burn this city, and all of it's rules, to the ground.

He pulls my hands up, and gently places them on his shoulders. I lean in slightly, my heart racing as his eyes never leave mine, and when he places his own hands on my waist, I allow him to pull me close. He runs one hand up my back and gently presses his fingertips against the nape of my neck before hiding them in my hair, and my body responds in a way I never knew it could.

"I'm sorry," I say as I pull myself into him and bury my face in his neck. "If it's all true Tobias, I'm sorry." He doesn't say anything; he only pulls me in tighter.

We sit next to each other holding on tight, neither one wanting to be the first to let go. The silence between us may seem odd to an outsider, but the knowledge that we are content just being in each other's presence is comforting in ways that are almost indescribable. We stay that way, silent, until we have to say goodbye.

As we walk out hand in hand, I feel it; this is the moment when everything changes.