I'm anxious to get to Tris, but I don't know how to tell her what I discovered the other night, or if she'll even believe me. I have nothing to go on other than a few pieces of information and my gut, but I know something isn't right. I tried to leave. I went home after my shift, packed what I could into my backpack, and made it as far as Zeke's apartment. I heard his laughter as I passed by, and I just couldn't do it. I owe it to him, and Uriah, to stay. I made them a promise, and I intend to keep it. And then there's the Choosing Ceremony and Tris' choice weighing heavily on my shoulders; I would never forgive myself if left her there to fend on her own.

I adjust my backpack and jump from the train, careful not to jostle it around too much. When I get to the storage room, I open the bag and take out her surprise, placing it carefully on a shelf where she won't see it right away, and wait.

"Tobias?" she calls out softly, but I heard her come in, and was already on my way to open the door for her. She smiles when she sees me and my heart starts to pound a little bit harder; and when she runs up and throws her arms around me, I swear she must be able to feel it.

"Hi," she whispers. "I missed you."
"I missed you too," I say, taking her small body into my arms and burying my face in her neck. The way she holds onto me though feels like she is desperate; not necessarily for me, but just for something to hold on to, so I hold on tighter. When she pulls away leaving me with just the scent of her, faint but sweet like vanilla, I can see it in her face too.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I ask, but she just shakes her head. "Hey, you can tell me. I'm pretty sure we've established that we're good at keeping secrets."
"My test," she says, her voice wavering. I already know what she's going to say. It's obvious to anyone who knows her, which makes me sad to realize that nobody really does.

"Look at me," I say, taking her face into my hands. "You don't have to say it, I already know. It's going to be okay, I promise."
"Is it that obvious? And how can you say that Tobias? She told me that what I am is dangerous," she says quietly, and I can see the tears starting to form in her eyes.
"Her name was Tori, right?" She narrows her eyes a bit, but nods. "Don't worry about her. She can keep a secret."
"How do you know?"
"Because she keeps my secret too."

She let's the tears she was holding back fall and I do the only thing I can think of; I hold her. She doesn't cry long, and I think that maybe it's more tears of relief than sadness, but it still hurts me to see her like this. It hurts me to think about what they'll do to her if they find out.

"What were your results?" I ask as she pulls away.
"Abnegation. And Dauntless." She smiles a little at this and so do I. "And Erudite." I let out a low whistle. "Yeah, I know."
"Abnegation and Dauntless for me," I say, and she nods as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Then again, we're not all that different from each other. It shouldn't surprise me that she can figure me out just as fast as I can figure her out. "It'll be okay Tris, I promise. Besides, I think I might have something that will make you feel at least a little better," I say as she sits down, hoping to lighten the mood, even if only for a few minutes. "Close your eyes."

She gives me a look, but she closes them anyways. I retrieve the giant slice of cake off the shelf and hold it out in front of her. "Smell," I say.
"What?" she says, pulling her head back a little.
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
"Then smell."

She takes a deep breath in and her face instantly relaxes. "What is that?" she says almost dreamily.
"Open your eyes and find out."
She does, and her mouth immediately drops open. "Is this what I think it is?"
"The one, and only, Dauntless cake."

Her eyes widen as I hand her a fork. "Go on," I say. "And hurry up. I want to see your face the second that cake hits your tongue." She laughs, but when she takes her first bite, her face turns very serious.
"Well?" I ask, smiling.
"Tobias, I don't even think I know the right words to describe it." She quickly shovels another large bite in her mouth and lets out a long, satisfied breath through her nose. I take a few bites too, but I let her have the majority of it, considering I've eaten my fair share of it over the years. She licks her fork clean, and with a serious look on her face says, "I think you just convinced me to join Dauntless."

We both laugh but the comment, although said in jest, provides an opportunity. "Have you thought about it then? I know we've made comments and jokes, but have you really, seriously thought about it?" I ask her.
"I don't know, Tobias," she says with a shrug. "I thought about it all afternoon, and the only thing I kept coming back to, the only thing that felt right, is to be wherever you are. To just be...together."
"Tris," I sigh, "This is serious. Dauntless is no joke. It's even harder now then when I joined."
"What? You think I can't handle it? I'm not as weak as you think I am," she says, slightly irritated. "Besides, what are you going to do? Come and visit me in this room every Friday for the rest of our lives?"

I'm a little caught off guard by her comment, but it makes me smile. "Tris, I would never think that about you. I know you're not weak. It's just, I don't want you making the same mistake I made, and I don't want you getting hurt. Things are changing, and, well," I hesitate, "I don't...I don't know how much longer I'm even going to be a member of Dauntless." She has a confused look on her face; the words came out of my mouth so fast, I'm not sure if she even understood what I said.

"What?" she says after a moment, a hint of worry in her voice. "What do you mean? Tobias, why would you say something like that? You can't become Factionless. You know what it's like."
"I do. But becoming Factionless might be the better choice if I'm right."
"Right about what?"

I sigh. "I found something, a list, and it doesn't look good. Weapons, names, serums I've never heard of before, all in the Dauntless secure files. And the Erudite-"
"What about them?" she interrupts quickly, her tone slightly nervous.
"I've taken the train by Erudite headquarters a few times, and after lights out, theirs are still on. They're working on something around the clock. I just feel like these two things are related."

"My brother," she says, squeezing her eyes tight for a moment, "He told me that things were changing. His partner, for the writing program? It was Jeanine Matthews."
"What? How does he know that?" I ask.
"She gave him a tablet. Wanted to keep in contact with him because she saw 'potential' in him."
"So it seems we weren't the only ones breaking the rules."

She shakes her head. "No. That's not all, though. A few weeks back he was talking with our father, and he mentioned something about what if the Abnegation didn't help the Factionless? And when my father got angry with him, he tried to change what he was saying, make it sound like he was advocating for not making anyone Factionless, ever, but he was lying. And when I found out he was talking to Jeanine, he said that's the type of thing they talked about. He specifically said, 'what would Abnegation do if there were no Factionless?'"

"If there were no Factionless," she continues, "Then Abnegation wouldn't really have a purpose, would it? Especially if Erudite gets what they really want, and they take over the city council and government positions too. Tobias, you don't think they're going to hurt them, do you? I mean, involving Dauntless and weapons and serums? What could all of that possibly be for?"
"I don't know, but whatever it is, it can't be good," I say. "That's not all. They're the ones who came up with the letter program too."

Her brow furrows as she thinks, but after a moment, all she says is "Why?"
"That is what I have been trying to figure out. Maybe it's something to do with finding out if people will be dishonest," I say, running ideas by her. "Or maybe they're planning on instituting some new weird rule and want to start with those who are graduating. Or maybe they want a new way to ensure that people don't defect anymore."
"Or," she says quietly, "Maybe they want to see if they can find people like me."

We sit in silence for a while as her words run through my head, but they're soon replaced with my own thoughts, and the one that has always been more important than the others; how am I going to keep her safe? For one of the first times in my life, I don't feel guilty for feeling the way that I do.

"Tris," I say, breaking the silence, "I don't want to tell you what to do, but I think you should choose Abnegation tomorrow. No matter what, it's is the safest faction, especially for someone like you."
"Tobias, I don't know if I can do that."
"If you choose Dauntless, there's no guarantee I'll be there for you," I lie, and I hope she doesn't see through it. I have to stay, at least through initiation. After that everything is up in the air, but at least I know that I can always leave and find a way to protect her.

"Tris, I could go back and know that I have to leave right away. Whatever's happening could be starting right now. I just need to know you're safe, okay?"
"Then I'll leave too."
"Tris..."
"Look, I admit, I don't know what the right choice is right now, but please, please don't do this. We can figure it out. I can tell my dad. He works in the government."
"Tris. I don't know if he can-"
"Tobias, stop. Just stop."

Her head drops down into her hands, so I reach out and rub her back softly. She sighs loudly and looks up at me. "I won't make a rash decision if you don't." Her eyes are desperate, pleading even, and when I nod in agreement, she closes them in relief. "Okay," she says softly, leaning back against the wall and relaxing finally.

"I'll meet you here tomorrow," I say, and she gives me a look. "If you choose to stay, that is." She nods and moves closer to me, and I gladly hold her in my arms.

"Tris," I whisper after I kiss the top of her head, "I would be more than happy to meet you here every day for the rest of my life."
"You might have to," she whispers back.