FINALLY FINISHED HOLY GOD THIS TOOK SO LONG TO CHURN OUT
But before we get into the chapter i just really want to say
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I HAD SUCH LOVELY FANS I NOW I FEEL STUPID FOR EVEN BEING SO DEPRESSED
HOW COULD I HAVE EVER DOUBTED YOU GUYS TuT
ALL YOUR REVIEWS MADE ME FEEL ALL WARM AND FUZZY INSIDE u.u
ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU ALL AND SORRY FOR WORRYING YOU GUYS
YES I WILL DEFINITELY BE SEEING THIS FANFIC TO THE END
I AM VERY DETERMINED TO FINISH THIS
(this chapter is also slightly longer than usual XD only slightly though)
Bur for now
For what it's worth
Enjoy chapter 11~~~
Hinata crashed in through the front door of his house and carefully closed the door, making sure to firmly lock all possible locks (there were three) and slumped down against the cold hard wood.
He hastily slipped off his shoes so he could quickly get himself back up to his room before his parents caught him red-handed. Unluckily for him though, in his haste, he tripped and fell face first into the scruffy carpet that lined the floor, presenting his parents (who were still in the living room) with a rather distasteful "BWAAGH!" and a nice loud thud.
"Ow…" Hinata mumbled, rubbing his nose and checking to see if it had been squashed or broken by his previous blunder. It seemed wholly intact, which Hinata was happy to know.
What he wasn't happy to know however, was the feeling of a rather ominous presence emanating from behind him. Hinata felt his Adam's apple catch in his throat and he slowly turned his head, coming face to face with his parents, towering over him and looking most unimpressed.
Oops. Hinata thought.
Hinata buried his face into the soft duvet of his bed. He could say with confidence that today was the absolute worst day of his entire 15 years of living, except for maybe the day he lost to Kageyama.
First he didn't get any sleep last night due to the fact he was fretting over the way he wrote a stupid letter (he didn't actually think it was stupid) and then he wasn't able to play volleyball which was bad enough in and of itself (even though it was he himself who had decided this). And of course he, being the idiot he was, forgot to put that letter that was excruciatingly painful to finish into the goddamn envelope. So he had to bike all the way to the hospital to get it to Kageyama. And what were even the chances that he would bump into Sugawara? Next to nothing. And yet out of all the times Sugawara could've come in to retrieve his bottle, he had decided to choose a time in which Hinata would be there too. And just when he had thought he was safe from anymore mishaps after arriving back to his house, he just had to trip over and land himself a long-assed lecture from his parents about going out late at night.
Hinata grumbled into his blankets, muffling his own voice so as not to earn himself another long winded talk from his parents.
Well it wasn't all bad things he supposed. He was able to see Kageyama one last time. And hold his hand for a teeny little while. And…
His thoughts drifted back to that little squeeze that he swore he had felt from Kageyama. But hadn't he already written it off as his imagination? But the sensation was real. He could still feel the ever so slight pressure lingering on his skin, the one that had tugged him all the more toward Kageyama.
His heart had jumped to his throat in that one short moment, painting his cheeks a bright red colour. And he had let his thoughts run wild or rather, he couldn't control them anymore. They had spilled forth from the back of his mind, making selfish wishes that Kageyama would wake up right then and there and squeeze his hand for real. Pull him down toward the bed and maybe just hold him there for a while. Let his warmth envelope him so he could just snuggle into the nook underneath Kageyama's chin and…
And stop.
Nononononono what was he thinking? Hinata dropped his reddening face into his small hands, shielding it from no one. That would be disgusting.
Kageyama was his friend. And friends didn't do that kind of thing together. At least according to Hinata's experience in which he was pretty sure was reliable. So why was he thinking such ridiculous thoughts? Of course it didn't mean anything right?
Right?
Hinata clambered up and snatched his cellphone from off his desk. He clumsily typed a quick message onto the screen and hit send.
To: Kenma
Sub: (no subject)
Sent 9:10pm
hey kenma!
i need urgnt hlp rite now plz!
plz its an emergncy!
Hinata stared at his phone, hoping that Kenma would reply fast because he sure as hell would like someone to talk to right now about his mess of feelings and emotions. He wasn't disappointed. Only moments after he had sent the text, his phone buzzed in his hand and a familiar tone rang noisily throughout his room and echoed off the thin walls.
Crap, Hinata thought as he hurriedly turned his phone's volume level to vibrate. He did not want his parents to find something else to lecture him about.
From: Kenma
Sub: Re: (no subject)
Received 9:10pm
What
Hinata stared blankly at the screen. Trust Kenma to reply so fast with such minimal writing. But Hinata didn't mind and took Kenma's answer as an approval for him to continue.
To: Kenma
Sub: question
Sent 9:12pm
is it wierd to thnk abt ur friend alot?
lik nt in a friend freind way
but like a i want 2 hug u kind of way…?
Hinata hesitated a little before sending the text, wondering if he was being too direct. Kenma was pretty smart so he could probably figure it out easily. But Hinata didn't want to beat around the bush because that took far too long and he needed to know now.
A couple of minutes passed with no reaction from his phone. Although it hadn't been that long of a wait, Hinata felt like a few hours had passed already as he restlessly fidgeted with the contraption, anxiously awaiting a reply.
Finally his phone vibrated in his hand, causing Hinata to jump as he frantically went to open the message he had received.
From: Kenma
Sub: Re: question
Received 9:17pm
…
Is this about Kageyama?
Hinata's face heated up as soon as he read the familiar name on the screen and he almost dropped his phone, managing to save it at the last moment with a clumsy hit from his hand which propelled the phone forward onto the soft material of his bed, rather than the slightly more damaging carpet. Yes he knew that Kenma was smart and good at noticing this kind of thing, but he didn't think it was that obvious. Hinata fumbled around with the keypad and typed the only answer he could think of during his moment of confusion and embarrassment.
To: Kenma
Sub: Re: Re: question
Sent 9:19pm
wwat? nnoo wat r u talkn abt?
ofc nt! ths is jst my friends prablm!
nt me! nt at all!
After quickly hitting the send button, Hinata realised that he might've accidentally included a few more spelling mistakes than usual…
There was another 'long' period of silence and Hinata wondered if Kenma had given up on him. Maybe he was a little too suspicious earlier…? He whipped up his phone to send another text but before he was able to start typing, his phone buzzed again and Hinata hurriedly opened the message, abandoning the blank draft.
From: Kenma
Sub: Re: Re: Re: question
Received 9:26pm
Well it's not particularly weird is it?
Just means that you don't think of them as a 'friend' anymore,
But rather you think of them as something else.
Hinata tilted his head, puzzled.
To: Kenma
Sub: just tell me alrdy
Sent 9:27pm
wats that suppsed to mean?
From: Kenma
Sub: Re: just tell me alrdy
Received 9:27pm
It means that you think about them differently.
To: Kenma
Sub: wat!
Sent 9:28pm
but that dsnt anser my q!
From: Kenma
Sub: Re: wat!
Recieved 9:30pm
…
Fine I'll tell you since you've at least made an effort…
It means that your 'friend' is in love with your other 'friend'
Hinata laughed.
To: Kenma
Sub: Re: Re: wat!
Sent 9:31pm
lol hahahahhaha
wat r u saying
boys cant date together
so wats the real reason
From: Kenma
Sub: LOVE
Received 9:32pm
Boys huh…
So it really is as I thought…
Shouyou please do read this message carefully
YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH KAGEYAMA
L-O-V-E
Please can you get that in your head
Love? Hinata mouthed the words in silent confirmation, as if he was making sure that that was really what he was reading. After a few minutes of sitting still and slowly processing exactly what he had seen, his cheeks erupted into a bright tomato colour.
If Hinata was red before, he just took it to a whole new level. His face had completely burned up, so much you'd think he was running a high fever and was in urgent need of help. Hinata flung the phone out of his hand and onto his pillow and scooted as far as he could away from it.
No. NO. Not Kageyama! There was NO WAY that he loved him. Not that asshole. Never!
He knew what love was and he was sure it did not apply to Kageyama.
It's not like he wanted to spend all of his time with Kageyama (he already did). It's not like he wanted Kageyama to notice him ("Kageyama! I'm here!"). It's not like he wanted to look at his sweat slicked skin when he played volleyball, the little bit of his stomach that he caught every so often when he jumped or his glinting eyes during his moments of concentration that sent shivers up his spine (good ones). That would be gross.
And he most definitely did not want to do the things in the shoujo manga that his sister Natsu had forced him to read like hugging, holding hands, going on dates or even k…kissing.
But Hinata couldn't help but feel the dull pounding within his chest grow faster and stronger. His heart ached for the volleyball he had known and been playing up until a few weeks ago. But that was not all. Although he wanted so much to see all his teammates again and laugh like there was no tomorrow, he couldn't deny that out of all people, he wanted to see Kageyama the most.
But he had already made his resolve, swore to himself that he wouldn't go anywhere near the court anymore.
It's already too late, Hinata tried to tell himself. You already wrote that letter, there's already no going back.
He continued repeating the line, desperately trying to convince himself and quell the feelings welling up from within.
Yet it was still so painful.
As much he wanted to, he couldn't just ignore his feelings.
He wanted to see Kageyama back on his feet and playing volleyball again.
He wanted to see Kageyama's pissed off face again even though it was scary, because it would tell him that he was back to normal.
He wanted to hit that special toss meant for him and only him, one last time.
He wanted to pump his fist into the air knowing that Kageyama would be beside him, doing the same, just once more.
He wanted Kageyama to tell him that he was invincible.
Just once more.
No matter what it took.
Just one more time.
Even if that meant betraying his resolve.
Again.
And how could he never have noticed it?
So many times he could've had the chance so why did he never fucking notice it?
Why did he never notice that he was so in love with Kageyama?
Hinata curled his legs up towards his chest and buried his face into his knees, his soft orange curls splayed across his bare skin. He squeezed his eyes shut and just let the tears flow down, sniffling and squeaking every few seconds as quite as he could because all he wanted was to be alone. And the stream kept flowing, purely and innocently down his small red cheeks.
Because he knew.
He knew that no matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, deep down in his heart, hidden in a place that was so hard to reach even his own thoughts didn't know how to get there,
That just one more time,
Just one more singular moment,
Would never be enough.
He wanted,
He wished,
He needed it to be
Forever.
A/N
WOW LIKE WOW
HINATA FINALLY
HONESTLY HOW SLOW COULD YOU GET
(not that I dont mind huehuehue)
And sorry if you guys cant read the texts
If you guys cant, review and I'll change it...
THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE REVIEWS
Please continue supporting this trash of an author TuT
See you guys next chapter~~~