A/N I just realised something! I haven't asked any of you if you've seen Perry this month! Perry is my (imaginary) twin brother Cody's pet platypus! He goes everywhere with us! But he's missing, you've gotta help us find him! We fear he's left England! I predict it might have been the scones that drove him away...

Random doesn't own Hetalia or Harry Potter!

Draco Malfoy perspective

This week had been... Interesting for Draco, to say the least. Somehow, his new History of Magic teacher could read minds and recount any part of English history; his arch rival's death had been predicted and that Gilbert guy had laughed at him about... Disney (whatever that was).

There was something off about the new transfer students, and that teacher too; and Draco was going to get to the bottom of it. One way or another...

Draco lost his trace of thought when a loud noise invaded his room, loud noise being Gilbert. Gilbert was talking on a strange device, like the one Kirkland had, but Gilbert's was pink.

"Oh ja! You should've seen eyebrow's face! He vas blushing and everything! Damn, so vhen are you coming to Hogwarts? You're not?! Aw... C'mon France! You've gotta come! It von't be any fun without you! Who cares vhat zat idiot says! Pleaseeeee? Fine, don't come! But I'm not sending you any pics of the hot girls! Knew that vould change your mind! See ya at Halloween!" Gilbert put the strange device into his pocket, he looked at Draco. "Oh hey unawesome roommate!"

Draco just rolled his eyes, after a week he'd gotten used to Gilbert's nicknames. Gilbert had to be the strangest person he had ever met... Right after that one dancing pickle at his fifth birthday party.

Draco watched Gilbert fish out a book from his trunk, entitled 'ze awesome one's epic diary of awesomeness' and pull out a quill. Gilbert started scribbling furiously at the paper in the book. Draco pulled out a piece of paper he had drawn on a few weeks ago, a picture of him and Potter duelling. Of course in the picture Draco was winning! Draco picked up a colouring pencil from his drawer and started adding bruises and cuts to his and Potter's flesh, to make the picture more realistic.

"Zat's really good ya know." Came a voice from behind him, Draco automatically shielded his work and spun his head round to look at Gilbert. "Vhat? You don't think zat I know great art vhen I see it? You've got talent Malfoy! Hey! Could you draw me?" Draco glared at Gilbert. "Okay! Okay! I get it... Be a bitch why not? I vas only asking."

Gilbert wandered back to his own bed, pulling out a photo this time. Gilbert was quietly chuckling at the picture, whispering words that Draco couldn't make out. Gilbert kissed the picture, hid it in his chest of drawers, and left.

Harry potter perspective

"Hey Harry!" Ron ran up to Harry. "There's a picture of Professor Kirkland in the Daily Prophet!" Ron shoved an article under Harry's nose. Jenna snatched the newspaper away before Harry could even look at it.

"Oh no... This is bad..." Jenna muttered before smiling. "For you!' She pointed at Alfred. "Suckers! Guess who has to do paperwork!" She then ran off skipping to the girl's dorms.
"What the bloody hell is she going on about?" Asked Ron. Alfred shrugged.

"Heck if I know, if I did though... My advice would be to run for the hills." Alfred then walked off, leaving the two boys alone in the common room with a newspaper article they were afraid to read.

"I think we should read it Ron." Harry interrupted the silence. "I mean, it made Jenna happy. Since when have you seen her happy without hitting Alfred on the head with something?"
"Fine, we'll read it. But what if it's about something scary... I mean, IT MADE JENNA HAPPY!" Ron argued.

"Because shut up. Now read the article."

Harry's eyes scanned the writing, before coming to something of importance.

"Arthur Kirkland, ministry overseer, has mysteriously disappeared, along with overseers from all over the world. Arthur is pictured here with boyfriend, Alfred F. Jones," Harry read.

"Whoa whoa! What?!" Ron shouted. "This is seriously wrong... Alfred is 13! The guy next to the professor is, like, 20! The article MUST be wrong! Anyways... Continue." So Harry did.

"Overseer of the American magic industry. Kirkland left the ministry on the first Thursday of August, and didn't return. Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, informs the Daily Prophet; that Kirkland has left due to family problems. The Daily Prophet will investigate deeper into the Kirkland case. Continued on page 14." Harry finished the article.

"Wow... So... Alfred is dating the Professor? Is that even allowed?" Ron asked. "Turn to page 14 then." Harry turned to said page.

On the page there was a large picture of Peter, a 16 who looked like Jenna, Professor Kirkland, two twins (male and female) who seemed to be fighting, a bored 19 year old, and a red headed man with a beard.

"I guess this must be Professor's family. Look, it says: shown left to right, Peter Kirkland, Jenna Kirkland, Arthur Kirkland, Cerys Kirkland, Shawn Kirkland, William Kirkland and Alastair Kirkland." Harry's finger followed the words on the paper. "This is really confusing now..."

"I know mate. Maybe we should show this to Hermione, she'll understand it." Ron suggested. So the two boys ran off to go search the library for their friend.

Hermione Granger perspective

Hermione was sitting on her bed reading a book on Ancient Runes, when Jenna ran in cackling about something. Hermione raised an eyebrow at Jenna, who immediately stopped laughing and doubled over in pain. Hermione gasped.

"Jenna?! Are you okay?!" The Cornish girl shook her head rapidly.

"Get... Ar... Arthur..." Jenna collapsed on the floor.

Hermione ran out of the room as fast as she could to get Professor Kirkland.

England perspective

England was enjoying a nice hot cup of tea, listening to One Direction, when a flushed Hermione Granger burst into the classroom.

"Professor... Jenna... Fainted... Come... Quickly!" Hermione wheezed.
"What?! Lead the way!" England followed the brunette out of the room.

They ran through twisted corridors, up moving staircases, got various stares from passing students and paintings, before finally reaching the Griffindor common room.

"Fortuna major!" Shouted Hermione at the fat lady.

"Everyone seems to be so rude today..." The portrait muttered, letting them in.

Hermione rushed through the common room and towards the stairs of the girl's dorm. England hesitated before following her. England spotted Jenna lying on the floor, out cold. England shot over to her and pulled out his phone. He immediately dialled the least likely person he was going to call in this type of situation.

"Hello? Francis? Listen, and listen well..."

A/N brownie points for anyone who can guess who the picture Gilbert kissed was of! XD your not gonna get it!