The Bizarre Saga: Twilight Princess
Epilogue
Previously on the Bizarre Saga, Link finished off Ganondorf like a boss, Saria was making a lot of noise, Navi stopped the Teletubbies from spawning for Zant, Midna went away, Nathan was very motivated and the story ended on time.
Now for the Epilogue.
"You're looking for what?" Zelda asked, slightly confused.
"A portal to our own world," Navi told her. "Sorry to confuse you, but you're probably the best person to ask about this."
"There's actually one more thing…" Link started. He took the Fierce Deity Mask out of his pocket. "There's a spirit living in this mask and he doesn't like being a mask…"
"Well… this is an interesting situation," Zelda spoke. "However, I did have a spell that allowed things that didn't make sense to make sense, so maybe I can help out out with the second thing, at least."
By this point, the team was inside Hyrule Castle again, because that's where she lead them after this conversation. Only the top of the castle had been damaged from the explosion, so everything else was just fine.
Zelda flipped through a book she took from a shelf. "Ah, it looks like maybe I can create some kind of artificial body as long as it's based off a certain person, and then everything will go right from there."
"Doesn't that go against the laws of alchemy?" Link asked.
Zelda shook her head. "This isn't alchemy, it's magic."
"But isn't magic just any unexplained science…?" Navi questioned.
"Oh, be quiet and let me do what you asked!" She put the book on a random stand that was nearby. "So, who should it be based off?"
"Probably Link," Saria told her. "He's the one who wore the mask, anyway."
"All right then, Link, stand over there in that circle." Zelda pointed to a circle that was a few feet away from them. It looked like one of those magic circles you sometimes see.
"Please just reassure me that this won't kill me first," Link said, not liking the idea of it.
"You have been reassured."
"That didn't really help!" Zelda walked over to him and pushed him into the circle. She spoke some words in Latin (even though there's only ever been Hylian ._.), and a circle appeared next to Link as something began to form.
A little bit later, with Zelda using the book as a guide for this, saying the right words right when she was supposed to, the spell was done, and she took the mask and put it onto the newly formed 'thing'.
There was a bright flash of light, and there Oni was, in a form that looked almost exactly like what it looked like when Link transformed, except only slightly taller than Link rather than WAY taller. Also, he no longer had creepy empty white eyes, there were actual pupils with bright yellow irises.
"Woo-hoo!" he cheered. "My problems have been solved!" He paused. "Wow, it feels really strange to be a human height…"
"I haven't spoken at all since this chapter started," Nathan random stated.
There was an awkward silence.
"… Wait, where are my wings?" Oni asked, breaking the silence.
"You had wings?" Zelda questioned, then sighed. "Ah… this is going to be a pain."
"Hey, did anyone ever wonder what happened to Gareth after the final battle?" Link wondered, going completely off subject. "Wasn't he saying something about saving Zelda and winning her love…?"
"Oh no, now there's a fanboy after me? Augh…" She put her hand on her forehead. "Exasperated sighs aren't very princess-like, but it's not like I really care, anyway."
After some complications…
Zelda had found a spell that allowed Oni to bring out his wings whenever he wanted to, and it wouldn't ever go away because magic.
So, the team set out to find a portal back, bringing Oni along with them because he was from the other world too. Despite actually being from this world, Nathan decided to follow them back, because he had been on his own from the beginning anyway, and it was a very similar reason as to why Navi stayed with them.
After quite some time, they finally located the portal, hidden deep in the Sacred Grove. Saria had accidentally slipped down into a hole through some bushes after about an hour of searching in the woods and found a log tunnel that looked exactly like the type they saw in the Kokiri Forest. Inside the tunnel was (hopefully) the exact portal they were looking for.
Which was right, for when they went through it, the portal dropped them right in the Sacred Forest Meadow, in front of the Forest Temple. They cheered in success, but since nobody actually remembered how to get out of the woods except Saria, who still had it perfectly memorized, they had to rely on her to get them out.
While they were gone, a random group of Skull Kids decided it would be a good idea to have a Subway built in the woods, so they went there to get some food before setting foot in the forest once again. Oni went off on his own, though, having no reason to be there.
After about a year, they began to notice… that Saria was growing normally?
And that, my friends, is how they returned. Now, for the traditional (because I said so) individual character epilogues!
Strangely, when they returned, Mido was no where to be found. Saria assumed that it was because he went off to look for her, bringing two other Kokiri along with him because two others were missing as well. But where exactly are they…?
Zelda was INCREDIBLY mad about Saria's letter that she had sent back, cuz apparently, she got it. There isn't much else to say about that. By the way, they closed the Door of Time again after coming back.
In Ordon, the people had learned that their memories had actually been altered by the power of powers, so they would believe Link and Saria had been there the entire time. When they left, all the people went back to their regular lives, whether they were happy or not.
The guy who called Link to herd the goats started doing the job himself, as well as calling Talo for help every once in a while. Worst mistake ever.
Ilia had taken Saria's word and truly realized that her obsession for My Little Pony was something to be tossed out the window and eaten by a woodchuck, because seriously, should a sixteen year-old girl really be going this insane about MLP? Actually, when she returned, her true colors-a tomboy who causes trouble-were shown. Thanks, Saria.
This dimension's Epona became closer to Ilia after Link had left and her obsession was gone. So, yeah.
The other Chase ended up becoming Colin's horse instead. I mean, it's not like Chase cared about Saria, Chase just cared about Epona.
The crazy drug dealer guy tried to take over the world by creating a thing that caused Deku Babas to grow eighteen times faster. Talo, however, decided to interfere and stop his evil plans and cut half his afro off with a sword he got at some point.
Speaking of Talo, he decided that he would become the town's new hero, which is why he went into the woods like that. He also decided that he would start cutting his own hair rather than letting his parents do it because his parents wanted him to have ridiculous hair like themselves.
Malo never got over his condition of looking like a baby, which freaked everybody out, and made everybody actually realize that he could possibly be an alien. And also, the Malo Mart became even more popular than it already was, somehow.
Beth was practically devestated after Link left, but it was also pretty confusing because she wondered why she was made his number #1 fangirl when her memories were altered. She got over it after about a year, but of course, she was still pretty crazy and started obsessing over One Direction like a maniac instead.
Beth's mom eventually became a married crazy cat lady, with eight cats wandering around the village, all belonging to her.
Beth's dad… I don't know.
Talo and Malo's dad really doesn't have that much relavence to the story…
Uli ended up having her child just fine, and Colin was pretty happy about that, too.
Rusl started teaching Colin about how to use a sword because Colin asked him to. And so did Talo. He ended up training them together, which resulted in a one-sided rivalry because Colin didn't really pay that much attention to Talo.
The afro bird decided to go live somewhere else.
Mayor Bo had his own resturant, and was the Hyrule champion of sumo wrestling, not counting the Gorons since he cheated. He was desperate to find somebody for Ilia, even though she wasn't even considered an actual adult yet. Eh…
Colin, mentioned a few times already, started sword training with his dad, and Talo became his 'rival', even though he couldn't care less about that. And so, he did end up becoming pretty awesome, but was also kind of worried that Beth would start obsessing over HIM instead.
King Bulbin, the giant pig thing, just kinda wandered off to go live somewhere. Really, I have no idea what happened to him.
In the realm of Twilight, Midna became the princess of them again, and everything went back to normal there. Until one day, when suddenly some handsome Twili guy showed up in a jet from far, far off in the realm… (because apparently there were more 'islands') Oh yeah, and she actually FINISHED that romance fanfic she was writing, but decided it sucked and needed revising. She never let it outside the palace, though.
Kevina remained in the world of Twilight Princess, because she had a way better place there, and being a golden cucco who could fly anywhere was way better than being a magic peacock that could turn into a miniature plane. It just felt… right.
The spirits… I guess they kept doing their jobs. I mean, what else could they do?
That random monkey who survived the Forest Temple explosion kept being a monkey.
The Postman kept doing his job, and being the annoying yet awesome postman that he is, bending space to deliver letters. He didn't do much else, because he didn't really have anything else to do because the team was gone.
Renado and his daughter continued living in Kakariko Village. Malo actually managed to raise enough money to completely repair the entire village and even add things to it, so people could actually move there, which is pretty cool.
Barney- I mean Barnes kept inventing explosions. So when is he going to be arrested?
The random fat guy who came out of the ground… I have nothing to say about him…
The Gorons all kept living at Death Mountain, doing the same things they always do. They were friendly, and some people moved to Kakariko Village just because they thought these guys were awesome.
The crazy elder however… was never put on medication.
Drake and Nathan were about to have a very dramatic parting before Nathan completely changed his mind and decided to drag Drake along with him back to the original Hyrule. Literally.
Ralis became the ruler of the Zoras, and strived to make his mother proud. All of the Zoras didn't object, because they all loved him.
After the end of Ganondorf, the squad of the people trying to help out Hyrule (made up of her, Rusl, Ashei, Shad and some other guy) kind of broke up. Telma kept running her bar, which was basically what she was doing beforehand anyway, so yeah. And Shad kept being a researcher guy.
Whatever happened to Gabe? After Gareth changed his mind about becoming evil, Gabe quit and decided to go plot on his own. He never left the Twilight Princess dimension, though, since he didn't want to go back to the other one.
Gareth's story was kind of a complicated one that I don't want to bother explaining. In short, he never became king, since Zelda showed absolutely no interest whatsoever. Afterwards, he just dispatched his army of monkeys (who all went back to their respective 'homelands'), and decided to go be some kind of wandering swordsman even though he had no idea how to use a sword. By the way, did you know he's about nineteen? Yeah, he's a lot younger than you probably thought.
Of course, McDonald's is still McDonald's.
Telma's cat kept being a regular cat. What else do cats do their entire lives? Go on adventures? I think not.
Since the team ended up forgetting about that guy who got turned into gold, Gareth (WAT) found his way there instead and decided his first quest would be to kill all the evil ghosts. I'm sure Talo would've done it, had he gone that far from Ordon by that point.
The Skull Kid, despite living in the Sacred Grove, never found the portal. Hmm…
The Arbiter's Grounds mini boss, the guy who wanted to be a chef, ended up becoming a chef for a ghostly resturant. Good for him!
Because Midna shattered the Mirror of Twilight, the sages became even more lazy than they already were, and did absolutely nothing because they weren't doing that already.
The guy who ran the Malo Mart in Castle Town was no longer working full-time, because they got more workers and expanded the store, even. So he was actually able to sleep. How did he even hold up, anyway? He must be another mutated human…
The Ooccoo race continued living in their city in the sky, not yet discovered by anybody down below except Kevina and the team that already left.
The two yetis lived happily ever after the mansion on Snowpeak.
Dark probably followed the team back to the their Hyrule. Heck, he was probably stalking them the whole time while they were locating the portal. That would make sense. There was a postman in the other Hyrule now, but in the location he decided to settle in, he just put a mailbox out so he wouldn't be bothered.
And that fairy that Navi scared in Chapter 16? She kept going on with her life, what do you think? No, she didn't call the police on Navi, since it just didn't occur to her. Either that or she just didn't know what to do.
And also, all those living statues in the Temple of Time/Malo Mall were LIVING there, because that's where they were in the first place. It was hectic. And there was also that forgotten army of laser-shooting mini statues that nobody cares about…
The annoying old doctor guy was replaced by a better doctor after he retired. Man, things were way better for the citizens, then.
The crazy cat lady in the Hidden Village spent her days with her numerous cats.
Until next time in…
The Bizarre Saga: Skyward Sword!