Dear Head Boy, aka James Potter,

Well. Um. Whoops.

This isn't a detention letter, but one that needs to be written, even if you'll never see it. I am so sorry. I really should've reacted better. To a lot things. But anyways.

Sorry for not believing you when you said you were Head Boy. In my defense, it's pretty shocking to everyone else, too, including all of your friends and you, I'm sure. Uh. I'm sorry. You'll do a great job.

See, this is me trying to continue being nice to you, even though I...well...earlier...and I'm trying to keep up the a-few-weeks-into-the-year thing, too. Today doesn't really count because it was my fault. I even called you James when I first saw you (well, James Potter) and I think you nearly fell into the train tracks. It was pretty funny.

But, um, wow. So I feel bad. Man. We were so close to being friends last year that I

Well, maybe I should just tell the story instead of dithering about it. So. I saw you on the platform, waved, and said "James Potter!" and you looked so shocked you nearly fell into the tracks, etc etc, I nearly caused your death.

"We're at full names now, are we, Lily Evans?" you said. "Am I finally growing on you?"

"Maybe." I said, trying to give you just a taste of my Lily Evans sultry grin without going overboard. See, I was trying to be nice. "Or maybe I had seduced another Potter over the summer with that lingerie you sent me, and I don't want to confuse you two."

"Sorry about that again." you said. "It really was Sirius."

"I believe you." I said.

You smiled like I had just declared my love for you. "So, out of curiosity, did you ever...wear it? Especially while sleeping with another boy?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." I said. "And I wouldn't sleep with him."

"Wait, so there was-"

"No." I said. "Even with my imaginary boyfriend, I'm not gonna be that easy."

"So I've gathered." you said.

It was all like that, just some casual back-and-forth while we got our trunks onto the train (man, that boy can flirt!) until I caught sight of his badge. "Where'd you get that?" I said.

"Oh, this?" you said. "They sent it to me over the summer. Hey, you're Head Girl, aren't you? Nice!"

I laughed. "No, really, where'd you get that?"

"I...told you." you said, no longer smiling. Oh! Idiot Lily! Idiot Lily! "I'm Head Boy."

I still didn't believe you. I should have. "Look, James, it's funny, but you should really give it back. I can't have you stealing from my Head Boy."

"I'm not." you said. "I really am Head Boy."

"Come on."

"No, it's true!" You were starting to get angry. Like, actually angry, not just messing-with-me-angry, and of course, because I'm me, the shock of you getting angry just made me angrier.

I crossed my arms. "This is only funny for so long. Just give it to me, and I'll get it to them."

"I don't know what to tell you." you said. "I'm Head Boy".

"James, come on-"

"I'm not going to-"

And unfortunately, McGonagall came and found us right as I was wrestling you to get it off. "Stop this, both of you at once." she said. "We need to go into the Prefect compartment immediately. You were supposed to be there five minutes ago."

"Sorry, Professor." you said, and followed her into the train.

And of course, it was true. You're Head Boy. It was mortifying. I stared at you, but your face was stony, you wouldn't even look back at me during the whole lecture about our duties as Heads. I can't believe I could've been so stupid. I mean, yes, you being Head Boy is incredibly unlikely, but Merlin was I condescending and insulting about it! I guess this isn't a let-out-your-anger letter after all (if it was, it would be mostly directed at me)- it's more of a let-out-your-complete-and-utter-mortification letter. Ughhhhhh. Ughhhhhh. Just when I started liki

Who would've thought I'd be the one to screw things up in the first few weeks instead of you.

Please forgive me,

Lily "Humble pie" Evans

P.S. It gets worse. I went to see you to apologize, and I think I screwed everything up for good. Ughhhh.

"Hey." I said. We were in the library or whatever, it doesn't even matter at this point, no one's ever gonna read these anyways.

"Hi." you said, and your tone was...well, you've never spoken to me like that before. Cold, disinterested, angry.

"I'm...I'm really sorry." I said. "For not believing you."

"It's fine." you said, although your voice was anything but. "I guess that shows pretty clearly what you think of me."

"No, James, please, I..." I was so close to saying it. I'm still not sure if I should have. On one hand, the waiting a few weeks and us fighting on the first day, on the other hand, I really did feel it and you might've returned the sentiment. "Well...you have to admit it is shocking." Insulting, condenscending, horrible, awful, stuckup, mean-

"Yeah." you said with a cold laugh. "Almost as shocking as thinking we'd ever be friends, right?" I had never heard you sound so bitter before, and I was so stunned, I didn't try to get the last word as you left.

So that's it. That's the number one reason right now on why Lily Evans is the worst. Those two conversations are worse than my questionable body odor, weird hair, treatment of Severus Snape, and the Charms essay I put off all summer. I don't know what to do (about James, not about Charms). I'll probably have to ask Alice or Emma for advice, and I'm not looking forward to their reactions. I still haven't told them that I almost fancied James Potter over the summer.

Early chapter to make up for the late one last week!