CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

The anthem plays, filling my ears so that I can hardly think of anything else. At the tune I see the tributes I killed. I see their faces in the Arena sky: Ceaser, Macen, Webb, the boy from Eight, the boy from Ten, and the girl from Eleven. I'm seeing each of their deaths flash before my eyes. How I killed each of them.

When I hear my name, I step forward. Smile. For the sake of Eudora's sanity, I put on my best fake-genuine smile. The lights blind me, but I continue smiling. The applause is near-deafening. I see Ceaser's stunned face through the lights, and I walk towards him. I'm ushered into an overly-ornate chair where I am to watch a highlight of the games. I cross my legs the way Eudora showed me and consciously fix my posture.

I don't know that I'll make it through the next three hours. I've had to watch this every year; it is a required viewing for the entirety of Panem.

My heart starts pounding, begging to escape the confines of my chest. My leg starts shaking, begging to run away from this recap of the Games.

The first half hour or so focuses on the events that happened prior to the arena. The remaining two and a half hours are a condensed version of the ten days I was in the arena. Every death is shown. I hate the look on my face as I kill tributes. I look so determined and in control. I look powerful and fierce with a trident and my net. The only times I seem vulnerable are the times I'm knotting or I'm alone with Mason. When I see Ceaser's lips attached to my neck, my heart sinks. I feel as if the filmmakers are doing this on purpose to punish me for killing those six tributes. As if they take joy in possibly destroying any hope of continuing my relationship with Henry back home.

They show me catching fish with Mason and telling him we need to leave the alliance. Seeing him makes me anxious because I know what is coming. There is a fight after Mason and I leave between the Careers. They fight about the fire. Birch killed Valarie. She had gotten angry, stormed away from the pair, and unsuspectingly ran into her killer. They show Mason taking care of me briefly, but they show our separation in full detail.

I watch myself, vulnerable, lying in the middle of the forest. Weeping, screaming, throwing the sword and creating my plan to kill Ceaser. For the rest of the time, I seem void of any emotion. Like Mason had been the only reason for me to keep living in the arena. It ends with the announcement of my victory and my ascent into the hovercraft. The filmmakers probably would have used footage from inside the hovercraft if I hadn't tried to kill the doctors.

Once more, the anthem plays. Everyone –including myself- rises as President Snow takes the stage followed by a small girl carrying a cushion with a crown on it. I smile at President Snow because that is what Eudora would want me to do. He places the crown on my head, and I wave until my arm is ready to fall off and smile until I'm positive my mouth might be stuck that way.

Ceaser finally closes the ceremony with the promise of tomorrow's final interview.

From there, I'm whisked to a Victory Banquet. I have to talk with everyone, and I am refused food every time I get within a meter's radius of it. However, halfway through the night Finnick solemnly hands me a glass of wine. Knowing that any hope of my relationship with Henry continuing is gone, I flirt endlessly with every male I come in contact with. Each one gives me a different beverage, all of them alcoholic. Every few minutes, a different picture is taken of me without my consent, but as I become more and more intoxicated, I care less and less.

Somehow, I end up dancing in a hallway with a very attractive Capitolian who whispers beautiful words into my ears. I sip on the orange drink he gave me when Finnick drags me away with an angry look to the elevator.

My head pounds. We journey to the Training Center and up to the fourth floor.

"Off to bed, Capri, you have the interview at two, and you're going to need all the sleep you can get your hands on."

It takes a lot of help from Finnick and even more from the walls and floor to get me undressed and into bed. I wake up a few times to run to the bathroom and puke, but other than that –and the resounding drumming in my head- I sleep fairly peacefully until Eudora is shaking me awake with her bright voice.

I have only a few minutes to eat before I am prodded by my prep team and then handed off to Plato. This dress is different than the others. It is a pure white dress that is loose and appears to be delicately draped across my chest and back. It stops less than halfway down my thighs. The black and gold heels come to a very sharp point and are taller than I've ever worn before. When I look in the mirror, I feel uncomfortable in my own body: the curls are the same as yesterday, and so is my face, but my breasts are practically spilling out of the top of my dress and my ass is nearly falling out of it. My legs are accentuated by the heels, so it seems as if they are always this long.

Plato gushes to himself about how fabulous the dress is, but I can't wait to put on more clothes.

This interview will be held in sitting room. I'm just thankful that there won't be a live audience but instead just a few cameras. Ceaser Flickerman gives me a lingering hug when I enter. Just like the interview before, he makes me feel comfortable despite how uncomfortable I feel in this dress. He talks about Mason and my family back in Four and how I seem to be thriving as a victor.

Soon enough it's over, and I'm headed back to my room to collect my things. Really I just have to slip on my mother's necklace and the picture I drew the night I was on the roof. They don't allow me to change, which I find rather annoying. They drive Finnick, Mags, and I to the train station in a car with black windows. There are cameras at the train station. I say a brief goodbye to Plato before Finnick is leading me into the train car. There's a recap of the interview, but I refuse to watch it. I, instead go to the end car of the train that it covered with windows.

I like watching the world pass by from the comfort of the train.

I spot a vase of white roses. I pick one out and put it to my nose. I find peace in how beautiful it is, and I find peace as the beautiful scent mingles with my mind.

A/N: Once again, I hope you all are enjoying this story. Thank you to everyone who commented, favorite, and followed since the last update.

I think I will update every few days because I have just finished the story (FINALLY) and have a page or two for the sequel, but I will not post that/the last chapter of this story until the first week in December because SO MUCH COLLEGE STUFF TO DO. But yep.

If you don't like something about my story, I would love to know what it is. Please leave a review about what you do and don't like about what I'm writing so that I can get better. Also, if you have any ideas about at what point I should end this story and start the sequel, that would be welcome. Or if I should just continue updating on this story. Thank you and have a splendid day!