A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYOU, COULDN'T MAKE IT TO ASAKA'S BIRTHDAY
Yeah, it's been a month. Sorry! I've decided on an update schedule. I'll update on character birthdays, okay?
I need a beta reader, really. It's only 3000-ish words, too.
You guys pay attention to my work and i am so happy, really
Thanks to everyone who revised, favourited and/or followed. Well, there's a few reasons this isn't categorised under humour. It depends on the plot later on and if I can continue writing this type of stuff.
The Pretty Cure reference in the title is entirely intentional, though I'm wondering if should have made it Yes! Cardcure 5 instead for more relevance...
ENJOY
Chapter 2: The CEO of Tatsunagi (&) Co. Is A 12-Year-Old Boy(Somehow, Nobody Questions This Except Aichi)
It was a known fact that Sendou Aichi was very girly. Yes, even to himself. Before he was known as "That Wimpy Loser Kid Who Had No Friends", he was known as "That Girly-Boy Who You Could Probably Pay To Masquerade As Your Girlfriend From America And Nobody Would Notice". The thought depressed him, however, so he always pushed away the topic anytime it was brought up. Until now, that is. He's pretty sure that if Emi were here, she'd probably cheer and thank the higher powers that forced him into this dress.
He looked at the card in his hand in disbelief. Blaster Blade was definitely a guy. And not wearing a skirt. Really, why did he even bother. He already spends 5 minutes everyday staring at the thing, fantasizing about what the super cool and amazing Kai would say if he ever talked to him and if he would—
Okay, enough about that. Besides, isn't he, you know, cornered by a bunch or real-life monsters straight out of the very same card game that Blaster Blade came from? Why yes, yes they were.
Did he just ask himself a rhetorical question which he unironically answered to?
That settled it. Sendou Aichi was officially insane. It would not be a stretch to say that he could be hallucinating right now. What's next, another magical girl in flashy orange shining armor slashing through the monsters to save him accompanied by creatures straight out of the Pokémon universe?
OH WAIT
Well, this was officially happening. Flogal and Wingal, huh?
Aichi was not a damsel in distress! He was just very very confused right now, what with all the fighting and chaos and Pokémon lookalikes and the laws of physics getting terribly mutilated, wow did Kourin just do a triple backflip what was happening—
Man, he hated his life right now.
Sendou Aichi was easily readable, noted Kourin. From the his facial expressions, Kourin had deduced that A) he had no idea what was going on, and B) uhhhhh
uhhh
That was it. Maybe she should stop distracting herself and go and help him out? Hmm, that sounded like a good idea.
Picture it, picture it... Okay.
Let's think rationally now. Card monsters... Which deck were they from? She couldn't identify them, as she hadn't really looked at Vanguard that closely. Damn. Perhaps "fighting" worked like a bizarre fusion of the card game itself and flashy magical girl moves?
You never know till you try.
"Call! Flogal, Wingal!"
Determined, our heroine stands up, Vanguard! Calling her trusty units Flogal and Wingal from her beloved Royal Paladin deck, she marches on, everlasting, her flames of youth burning. Go for it, Kourin-chan! She starts off with a overly-flashy triple backflip that broke so many laws of physics all of the monsters could do nothing but stare dumbfounded! Distraction get!
Ever graceful, the magical girl delivers a series of kicks and punches to the monsters that would make a man curl up on the floor in a fetal position. Such passion! Such charm! Feel the...uh...love in her fighting.
Kourin had quickly learned not to question these things. Otherwise her head would most likely explode, which did not seem very appealing to herself.
"Oh well." sighed our heroine internally as she hacked and slashed her way to the pissed-off crossdressing boy. Now what does one say to someone like that to calm them down?
Something like
"Hey, you look really nice in that skirt"
"Don't worry, I don't doubt your masculinity one bit"
"We're all in this TOGETHER"
"Oh... U-uhthanks?"
...she'd said all of that out loud. Good lord, the poor boy's face was practically a tomato now.
A lifesaver. The school bell had rung, just as she thought that. As the bell rang, signifying the beginning of the second half of school, her and Aichi's pseudo-magical girl costumes reverted back to their normal school uniforms with a flash of light and sparkles. How convenient.
Trying to salvage what little was left of her dignity, Kourin summoned the most piercing glare she could at Aichi.
"Meet me after school. We need answers, and I know who has them."
"O-okay."
Predictably, the walk back to class was awkward. Even worse were the whispers Kourin heard she second she and Aichi set foot into the classroom together.
She was going to make Takuto's life hell after he explained everything.
The skyscraper was large and towering over him as he and Kourin entered through the fancy automated doors, then into a fancy, glass elevator that was only made out of class to terrify him, at least, that's what Aichi wanted to think at that time.
Tatsunagi Co. was one of those big, shady businesses that seemed to have connections with the mafia, but nobody seemed to question because they either didn't care or were too terrified to. Aichi was one of the latter people. Oh, the consequences of being sane in a crazy world. It was a cruel, cruel fate.
Infact, what did Tatsunagi Co. even do for a living? Originally they manufactured Vanguard cards, but after they failed Aichi never bothered to keep track of them anymore.
"What are you thinking of?" Aichi looked beside him to see Kourin, her face curious.
"What does the Tatsunagi Co. manufacture?"
The blonde's face scrunched up, irritated. She made a face, one unbefitting that of her idol career.
"&. Its Tatsunagi & Co. Takuto changed the name when Cardfight! Vanguard failed."
"What do you make now, then?"
Kourin's voice was small as she spoke. "...we, uh, that's classified information. We sell merchandise. Some kind."
Well. Unfortunate Implications, much? And what kind of merchandise?
Kourin continued. "Takuto does all the advertising online. People flock to it."
Man, this Takuto guy sure seemed like a creepy stalker, not that Aichi himself could say anything.
"I see...?"
Unfortunately, there was no way to make the mood any less awkward. If there was Aichi would probably have paid for it in a heartbeat, scams be damned. Except he didn't have any money left, since he spent all of his wallet's contents on materials for his custom-made Kai nendoroid figurine, which wasn't at all creepy and hypocritical because Kai wasn't an idol, see—
ENOUGH ABOUT THAT. He swears he doesn't really like Kai in that way...!
Thankfully, the elevator chose to arrive at the designated floor at that very moment, saving Aichi from having arguments with his inner godde*cough* himself about his obsession, ahem, admiration with Kai Toshiki.
"Hey, are you alright!?"
"YES! I-I'm fine."
"If you say so..."
Sendou Aichi felt like disappearing from the face of the earth at that very moment.
The fancy penthouse on the very top of Tatsunagi Corporation was, very obviously, where the Tatsunagi "family" lived. Having to house 3 idols and their obsessive fans, however, had made it...a bit packed, let's just say that. The whole thing looked like a clumsy attempt to make everything look nice and neat while failing(not even epically) at the same time.
When questioned later, Sendou Aichi had only one thing to say: body pillows were really hard to hide. And some people called him a stalker, sheesh.
When Aichi spoke up about the blatantly obvious "fan gifts" littered around the penthouse, Kourin just sighed, facepalmed another time and pushed him into the menacing, purple door that Aichi swore was glowing.
Here he was now, at what he assumed to be the CEO of Tatsunagi (&) Co.'s office.
Uhh
He looked up at Kourin(she was twice his height, and that was the final nail in the coffin to Aichi's manly price. Rest in peace).
"It's the hair." Kourin responded, her eyes never meeting Aichi's.
Ohhhhhhhh, that explained everything!
If there was anymore awkwardness in this room, Kourin swore she would snap and start to murder everyone. Well, except Aichi. He seemed like a nice kid, if not a little(ahaha no) timid.
Poor guy, getting dragged into this messed-up parody of a magical girl anime. He seemed to relax a bit when she mentioned hair, though.
What is up with everyone and hair? Takuto, Suiko, Rekka, and now Aichi. Oh yes, she knew the signs of a hair-obsession and Aichi definitely had one. What, you thought hair would just naturally defy gravity like that?
That was the reason Takuto's weird hairspray invention had gotten so popular, for goodness' sake.
Okay, she thought she had mentally blocked that one memory out.
brainbleachbrainbleach—
"TAKUTO WHERE ARE YOU." she blurted out in desperation.
It was then the room dramatically turned dark. Kourin pretended to not notice the flick of a switch she heard.
A spotlight on the fancy and uncomfortable imposing chair at the center of the room, a whirlwind spin, and—
"POOF, A WILD TAKUTO APPEARED!" yelled Takuto, waving his arms in the air.
Oh, Takuto.
...oh.
Everything is unexpected, everything is upside down, card monsters are real, Aichi is a crossdressing magical "girl", and the CEO of Tatsunagi (&) Co. was a crossdressing cosplaying twelve-year-old little boy, shorter than even Aichi himself. Aichi won't even get into what kind of shenanigans took place for a elementary schooler to even be a CEO.
Tatsunagi Takuto was dressed in what Aichi assumed to be fairy cosplay, which included a white sparkly dress, accessories and all, a pointy star wand, and glitter. Lots and lots of it.
And...if you looked closer...
He has Seen What Was Not Meant To Be Seen.
HIS EYES
Aichi promptly shielded his poor, poor eyes from that...thing.
"Aichi! Are you alright?" Kourin kneeled beside him with concern.
NO DOES HE LOOK ALRIGHT
"No, you don't." Oh god, again. A pause from Kourin. "...I'm so sorry. Takuto's always like this." she gritted out.
"SUBTEXT! SUBTEXT!" cheered the strange boy, still in his fancy leather chair.
"No, Takuto. No."
"Aww."
Kourin stood up from her position and tried her best to regain her composure. She glared at Takuto. "Takuto. This is Aichi. We need answers."
Takuto looked down at Aichi from his imposing-looking position. She seemed pretty meek and timid, but that was alright for his purposes. "Oooooh, Kourin, you picked out a good one! She made a pretty magical girl, didn't she?"
"Takuto. Aichi's a guy."
"Wait, whaaaaattttt?"
"Aichi. Is. A. Guy."
"Ummmm, I'm really really sorry if I—"
"AICHI NO IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT TAKUTO ANSWERS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD"
"Butbut he's got really long eyelashes and the hair—"
"ANSWERS! FOR THE LOVE OF CRAY, WHY ARE WE MAGICAL GIRLS?"
The CEO pouted. "'Cause it's prettier that way, nooooooo?"
Kourin was approximately ten seconds away from ripping her hair out. "No, not that. How does it even work and why does it have to be flashy outfits, you know nobody thinks like you and do Rekka and Suiko—"
Seeing that Kourin was about to snap, Aichi decided to make the wisest decision of his young life(besides his weekly Kai observations, of course. Nothing would ever top that). He decided to play exposition for the first time. "I'd like some kind of explanation?"
"You speak!" Takuto exclaimed. He then tilted his head. "It's exactly what it looks like, though...?
"Then, this is like a magical girl anime?"
"Yepyep, you catch on fasttttt!" The childish boy pouted afterwards. "See, it was going to be easier. I mean, that's why I created Cardfight! Vanguard in the first place. So instead of this, you played card games."
"And then? What happened?"
"You can see it didn't work out at all! That was really bad, since there were people who really liked it..."
Aichi was still very, very confused. "What do you mean by "it" not working?"
"Oh, nothing much. Cray got invaded by this mysterious entity named Void and now it's a desolate wasteland. You were supposed to play card games to save the world, yeah. How was I even supposed to know nobody played card games anymore?"
Card games to save the world, card games to save the world, card games to save the world. Takuto's girly voice kept echoing in Aichi's head.
why was this happening to him
Oblivious to AIchi's mental state, Takuto continued with expositioning. "Then Void tried to invade this one too. So boom! I figured that maybe the heart of the cards would motivate some people of this world to fight Void and uhh you believe in the heart of the cards right?"
EXCUSE ME MISTER 12-YEAR-OLD CEO HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE IN THE HEART OF THE CARDS WHEN HE HASN'T EVEN PLAYED THE CARD GAME
But all Aichi managed to squeak out was a stuttered "s-sure."
Takuto grinned to his response. "See, I knew it. You didn't have to worry at all, Kourin! This girl-boy-something has The Potential! All you need to do is use the cards to transform and fight Void every week, easy as that. You'll probably need more members, though. And they have to have had cards beforehand! Otherwise the whole transformation process won't work."
"Why?"
"Because MAGIC. Oh, I know some people that you can recruit! There was a red-haired boy who I talked to a few years ago and another one, his friend I think? He had really crazy hair, you know. Like thisssss" Takuto waved one of his hands in a pattern familiar to Aichi.
Hey, wasn't that—
"I know him."
"Eh!? You do?" Kourin, who was silent all this time, turned to him, her eyes sparkling.
"That's Kai-kun!" said Aichi with so much enthusiasm that Kourin looked at him oddly. "He'sthemostpopularguyinourgrade." he blurted out in defence.
"Great, now that I've explained everything boring, you can go outside and do some recruiting! Take care~!"
"Wha—"
"TAKE. CARE."
Somehow, the 12-year old boy managed to kick the 15-year-olds out of the room, slamming the door and locking it, and with it, any answers whatsoever.
Hell hath no fury like a Kourin scorned.
"TAKUTO YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US." yelled Kourin, delivering a flurry of punches and kicks to the door.
Poor, confused Aichi stared, dumbfounded at the door. He wondered if doors were invincible. Hey, if Cray existed, then so could invincible doors.
"So, Aichi, about this "Kai-kun"..." Kourin awkwardly started up a conversation, still kicking at the door.
Oh, Kourin. What have you done?
Aichi perked up. "Kai-kun is the best! You see, he was the entire reason I even have a Vanguard deck in the first place. 4 years ago, I was walking home from school when he suddenly appeared in front of me and handed me a card—"
Oh man, this was gonna take a while. Poor, poor Kourin had unleashed the sealed gates of Aichi's closeted Kai fanboyism.
"After that I scouted out every single bit of information that I could find on Kai-kun! He's just that special, you understand. Did you know that he has exactly 186 members of his unofficial fanclub, started by blood-type-B-born-on-Christmas-upperclassman..."
It had been at least half an hour.
"I was so proud when the figurine was finally finished! It was really hard to get the paint and color balance correct, but I managed to recall the clothes perfectly from memory. It
has 3 different expressions from what I thought suited Kai-kun best..."
That marked two, now.
That is some crush Aichi has got.
"After 4 years of waiting, he finally came back. Except he was different. But I don't care, Kai-kun is Kai-kun, I found him first and none of the fangirls can even compare. I'm not even jealous, except when Miwa is around. Miwa's always with Kai and I wish I could talk to him, but I never found the courage to... I'd like to someday, though? Erm, is he one of these magical girls too? Wow, as I thought, Kai-kun really is amazing! I bet he'd be really good at fighting this Void thing, right?"
"Mhmmm...oh? Kourin snapped out of her half-asleep state. "AH! Yeah, yeah. Uh, you... certainly know this "Kai-kun" very well."
Aichi flushed pink. "Oh, no. I haven't even talked to him yet..."
Yeah, right. "You should. Takuto talked about recruiting, so it's best we do that as soon as possible. If this person you keep talking about has cards, then he should be able to fight too."
"You're right..." Aichi's frame drooped a bit, his hair even seeming to look a little depressed.
Oh no
HE LOOKS LIKE A KICKED PUPPY
AICHI I'M SORRY
Kourin instinctively panicked. "Y-you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to! This whole situation is because of Takuto, so... so..."
"Ah. No, it's fine. I'm just a little worried. What if he doesn't remember me?"
KOURIN DO SOMETHING screamed the blonde frantically to herself. "It'll be fine(no it won't)! I'll make sure of it, so don't worry. I'll go with you...tomorrow! Let's talk to him then, okay?" There's a hint of (quite obvious) desperation in her voice.
Her thoughts turn into mush when Aichi smiles back at her. "Sure."
His smile is like that of pure innocent newborn babies riding unicorns, spewing out rainbows and various assorted chocolates with sparkles— Kourin will stop now.
But really, how does he do that.
"Well then, I'll take my leave now. Oh, you don't have to walk me back. Have a nice day, Kourin!" Aichi speaks in that soft, soft voice of his, smiles again then walks off.
Kourin stares after him.
doki
Oh no
nonononononono
Kourin sank down to the floor.
Next time, on Heartcatch! Cardcure:
"I mean, I chased after you for 4 years, Kai-kun!"
"..."
"AICHI THIS IS NOT A SHOUJO MANGA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING"
Don't miss it!
A/N: I'm so sorry
Takuto is so out of character it's not even funny, I couldn't write him right, so EXPOSITION FAIRY HE GOES
Oh geez I missed a lot of things in the 1st chapter, even the preview, will have to edit
For pairings Aichi's definitely got this stalker thing for Kai. Kourin's the female love interest so yeah, it was inevitable. You guys can review on what you'd like
So basically EveryonexEveryone is what I'm sayin' here. The pairings go where the plot goes, yep.
Also should Miwa be a main character or not, I have Kourin for the sane person but really now
I've got a loose draft for plot, but 2 different outcomes. Do you want more parody or more deconstruction?
R&R thanks
TILL NEXT TIME