CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The victory tour was all but unbearable. We started at twelve and made our way towards the Capitol, skipping over Four in the process (it would be saved until after the Capitol). Eudora gave me cards to read off of at the speeches. At Eleven, Ten, and Eight I learned the names of the tributes I had so mercilessly killed in the arena: Cyder, Prescott, and Indigo respectively. I felt the most guilty at three, I had killed both of their tributes, and upon looking at the families standing in the front, they were each the only child of two or one parents.
One was the most terrifying. After having been through seeing the broken families of Three and through seeing the hatred from the families of Two, I begged Finnick not to make me go out on the stage in One. Eudora got upset by my tears because they were staining my face and making my eyes red.
I looked at Gem's family when I was reading off Eudora's card about what a wonderful ally she was, how close we became in training, and how stunned I was by her early death. I held back tears when I glanced at Ceaser's family. His father was absent in the crowd because he was standing behind me on the stage. His mother was covered in fancy clothes and jewels. His sister gripping her mother's arm with a mixture of tears and hatred in her eyes.
As soon as I read the last word off the last card, I was off the stage and into the building behind me.
When I got back on the train, I found the liquor and I found my room and I stayed there until we got to the Capitol. At one point, Finnick came in, sat next to me, took my liquor, and gave me rope.
I knew what was going to happen, so putting on a smile at the party before my demise was arduous. Finnick stayed by my side the best that he could, but he had business to attend to and I did too. President Snow had made his speech seemingly ages ago, and now I am just dancing in the arms of stranger after stranger.
A man I recognize as someone Finnick introduced as the Head Gamemaker for the next year comes up to my side with a drink in each hand.
"President Snow would like to see you," he says with a Capitol smile and a drink as his peace offering. Downing the drink in one, I hand it to someone passing by and follow Alder Callark inside, up a few flights of stairs, around a corner, and into an office with a balcony overlooking the party outside.
Alder leaves as soon as I'm in the room, shutting the door behind him. President Snows stays overlooking the balcony where he had made his speech earlier.
"What if I say no?"
A wicked smile appears on his face, he turns to the desk behind him and switches on the screen. There's a sixteen year old boy on the screen with a face that I don't recognize in a field. The voice that comes from the boy sounds familiar, and the more he speaks the more I recognize it: Haymitch from District 12. A girl throws an axe at his head, which he dodges expertly and watches as it boomerangs back at the girl and into her skull. The feed switches to a stationary view of three rotting corpses inside a house, and then watches Haymitch mourn as he sees them and curse at the Capitol and at Snow.
"You wouldn't want that to be you, would you?" Snow's wicked smile appears once again as he switches off the screen. I shake my head, unable to find any words. "I didn't think so."
Alder walks back in, and I instantly recoil. But then I hear Paige's screams and see Haymitch's dead loved ones with axes in their skulls, so I take Alder's extended hand with a flirtatious smile dancing across my lips. As soon as we are in the hallway, I am against the wall with Alder's face at my neck. I close my eyes when I hear Capitolian gasps and whispers.
Moments later we are stumbling down the hallway into a room with a bed. I take special care to lock the door before taking the gamemaker's hand with an unnatural smile on my face and leading him towards the extravagant bed. He growls, pouncing on me like a wild animal. His lips roughly take mine, and his hands grope my breasts. In a hope to end this as soon as possible, I moan audibly, bending my body into his and returning his harsh kiss.
However, I'm no expert to what I'm doing, so a few of the things I do are received but unwelcome. Then he shows me how he wants it done, and I do it so that it will hopefully end soon. I fumble and I shout in agony a few times which are followed by short punishments: a slap across the face, multiple slaps across my ass.
When it's finally over, Alder and I lie next to each other under the sheets.
Then his voice is in my ear, "There's a bag in the dresser. It's your payment." He stands, dressing slowly and with precision. As he heads for the door, he turns quickly before opening it, "You'll be better soon enough." When he's gone, I curl up, crying and screaming into the pillow so that no one could hear my inner demons.
It hurts to stand, but I push through the pain, picking up my scattered clothing and attempting to put on Plato's floor-length creation without tearing it. When my legs have almost gained their full stability, I head out into the hallway, around the corner, down a few flights of stairs, and into a crowd of people. A few women look at me with hate, others with awe, the men look at me with lust and desire, and I search for the one that doesn't. Eventually I find Finnick chatting up a short Capitolian woman with blonde hair and green tattoos.
He spots me, dismisses himself from the woman, and walks over. "When do we leave?" I ask him without being able to meet his eyes.
"As soon as you're ready."
Soon enough we're back on a Capitol train towards home. I curl myself up in the back compartment. The one almost completely made out of windows. I sip on the hot, bitter coffee that an avox girl had just handed me when Finnick walks in.
"Sugar cube?"
"Please," I stare at the black coffee as Finnick drops two into it. "How do you do it?" I look up at Finnick for the first time since I met with Alder Callark. "How do you keep going?"
"I don't. Not really . . . that's what the string's for . . . the string helps. It keeps your mind off of what you're doing."
It's not the answer that I want to hear, but I think that it's the best that I'm going to get.
END OF YOUNG PILGRIMS
A/N: Once again, I hope you all are enjoying this story. Thank you to everyone who commented, favorite, and followed since the last update.
THIS STORY IS FINISHED! AHHHHHH! I'm excited that I finished the story in a year. It seems like so much longer, but I'm so proud to have it finished with a sequel on the way. There will be one reminder after this chapter to let y'all know when I've posted the sequel so you can go over and check it out!
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