Lily is kind of nasty in this one...sorry. I'm also very sorry that I randomly changed the title of this fic to 'Back Doors and Fire Escapes'. The other title was just too lame. Sorry for any confusion.
That said, I have a RosexScorpius story called 'How Scorpius Met Rose' (How Harry Met Sally is where the title came from...good movie), so if any of you want to read and review it, I would appreciate it. I would also very much appreciate reviews for this chapter and the previous one...it's feeling lonely. Anyway, I'll let you read now.
Lily ran her delicate hands over James' chest, feeling his Quidditch toned muscles through the light cotton of his white shirt as he placed soft kisses on her neck, slowly working his way up to her mouth. Her hands twisted in his shirt and she tipped her head back to make her neck more accessible as he pulled her closer to himself.
Right before he reached her mouth, he pulled away from her, breaking off before the climax.
Lily frowned up at him. "Something wrong, Potter?"
James sighed, pushing a stray strand of hair away from her face and looking down into her eyes. He knew the expression in them didn't match the expression in his own eyes.
"Y'know, I'm thrilled that out of all the blokes at Hogwarts you picked me to do this," he said, gesturing to their general situation. "Merlin knows how long I've wanted to snog you, but this can't last forever."
Lily absently traced a finger over his chest as he spoke, looking painfully indifferent, and he bit his lip, trying to keep his thought process from unravelling more than it already had.
"I need more than this. I know it's usually supposed to be the other way around; that the bloke is alright with just physical stuff and the girl wants the emotional stuff, but I don't care. I want to marry you some day, Lily, not just have a quick snog every night."
Lily pursed her lips in thought, then looked back up at his anxious hazel eyes. She was struck by the vulnerability in those eyes, like the next words she said could make or break him, and she supposed that was exactly what would happen. It made her reluctant to speak.
"Potter – James – I know that you love me, or at least think you love me. You've told me a million times. You know that I don't love you. I've told you a million times. Tonight is no different. You're a really good kisser, you're attractive, you can be funny and smart, but I don't love you...I told you at the beginning that this was all I wanted. I didn't want a relationship, at least not right now. Maybe in a few months, or years, I'll wake up and realize that you're the man of my dreams, or something, but right now..." she trailed off, seeing the pain in his eyes. "I-I'm sorry."
James exhaled. "I don't know why I was expecting anything different. I don't know why I ever do. I don't know why I torture myself with you, why I can't just get over you. You're exceptionally cruel, you know." He stepped away from her. "At least call me James from now on? It might make me hurt less. Or more. Who knows?" he added bitterly.
Lily nodded, unsure of what to say. No one had ever said anything remotely like this to her.
James turned around and began back to the common room. He stopped briefly, without looking back.
"If you ever feel like you could love me back, really love me back, I'll be right there waiting."
Lily watched him leave, an unfamiliar ache in her chest, and she realized, for the first time, the extent at which he was wrapped around her finger.