Yay, updating spree! Thanks for your reviews HersheyChoco101 and ScipioPB! Wow, you guys are fast. Thanks for your incredible support – this super fast chapter is for all of the reviews I've been given lately. Thanks again!
This has been my favorite chapter to write so far. I'm so glad to get back to the nonsense! xD
The Coffee Conundrum a.k.a. Happy Halloween
There had never been a scarier Halloween than the fateful day the coffee machine broke.
It was a dark and stormy day. A day full of gloomy clouds and dreary air. A day when the covers were particularly warm, the snooze button was tantalizingly close, and the shower temperature was never just right. A day that made coffee a need.
The holiday started out normally. Keyboards clicked and telephones buzzed with customer's needs. Hamilton's office was blaring Shakira's Loba, and if one dared look inside, they'd see Mr. Hamilton's fully choreographed interpretive dance. Dan's pillow was already drool-stained, and Allen had flirted with each girl in the office at least three times.
But a loud crashing sound echoed from the break room. All was still as death for a breath of a moment. Curious eyes turned to the break room door. The blinds ruffled ominously.
The door burst open so suddenly, Dan was roused from his slumber. "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, LISA!"
Luckily, his awkward outburst was ignored for the dramatic scene behind him. Tina had tear tracks running down her pale cheeks, a dead look in her eyes. She lugged a still smoking coffee machine in her arms, hugging it like her stillborn child. Its cord heartbreakingly trailed along the floor. "It's… It's…"
"Dead," Luke whispered behind her. His bandana was removed in severance.
No one quite understood for a tense moment. Then eyes turned to their coffee cups. Brown rims at the bottom of mugs; a few drops in a cold pool of despairing emptiness.
The weight of the situation crashed down on them like a ton of bricks. That coffee was dreadful, but it was theirs. And now cruel fate had robbed them of it. Their only solace.
Chairs pushed back, hands grabbed tufts of hair in disbelieving stress. Tina's tears flowed more freely as she lifted the machine above her head. "It's dead! The coffee machine is NO MORE!"
With all of the might her skinny white arms could muster, Tina threw the useless coffee maker to the ground. The glass pot shattered and plastic bits snapped and scattered. Luke and Tina then proceeded to simultaneously scream 'DEAD' and 'NO MORE' as they rampaged. In mere seconds, they had cleared off the entirety of Dan's desk to the floor, swiping and throwing his belongings haphazardly. Confused and alarmed, Dan took his pillow and carefully slid under his desk to get back to his lovely dream. Arms over their heads, Luke and Tina ran in panicked circles as everyone else began to react.
As if in a horror movie, Alice grabbed her face and let out a blood curdling, high pitched scream of terror. With Hulk-like strength, Rod flipped his own desk. Papers and office supplies littered the air.
The crave for caffeine was already beginning, transforming the employees of Persuasive Papers into their respective, energy-deprived monsters. Vaughn collapsed across his desk, able to do nothing but moan in agony. Molly twitched convulsively, desperately licking the bottom of her coffee mug that read Peace, Love, Joy before hurling it against the wall and dashing it to pieces. Her eyes wild, she ran off to find any kind of substitute she could.
"What on Earth is going on here?!"
No one had heard the familiar ding! of the elevator reaching floor three in the pandemonium. Heads turned to Gill, still in his coat holding a well-organized briefcase at his side. He had been late because of a dentist appointment (a check-up, that little cupcake scheduled), and the poor fool thought he had already been through enough hell to last him a day. But all eyes locked on the cardboard-ringed cup in his right hand. A small wisp of steam was rising from it, mocking them all.
"Is that…" Rod sniffed the air. "Coffee?"
Gill looked innocently down at his drink. "Why, yes, it is. Wh…?"
When Gill had looked back up, everyone in the office had grown predatorial. Allen's head lolled, his arms reaching, grabbing, desperately needing a taste. Alice was on all fours, hunched like a cat about to pounce.
Gill lifted his briefcase in front of him protectively. "Now wait just a minute! I don't know what's going on here, but – AAAHH!"
Alice had launched herself forward, tackling Gill to the ground. Precious coffee spilled out of the lid and soaked into the carpet as Gill tried to hold the drink out of Alice's frantic reach. Rod, Allen, Luke, and Tina were quick to follow her.
Having no other choice, Gill backed into the still open elevator, beating off his colleagues and protecting his hot beverage. Crab-walking away from them, he kicked at the hands grabbing for him through the closing doors.
"Back! Back off!" Gill cried, rightly in fear of his life. He used his briefcase and batted the last hand away. An angry growl was heard before the elevator closed, and he was safe.
Having lost their only chance of stealing Gill's outside coffee, the workers moaned and groaned and looked for ways to satiate their thirst.
"Vaughn. Hey, Vaughn?" Molly's tense voice hovered over Vaughn's head. She was riddled with nerves.
Without the energy coffee gave him, Vaughn couldn't lift his face off of his keyboard even though the buttons had thoroughly marked his face to look like them. He grunted, his only way to communicate.
"Whatcha got there?" Molly persisted, pawing at Vaughn's desk drawer. His body was blocking it, preventing her from rifling through his things.
"Mmf," Vaughn grunted again, too tired to do much else.
Suddenly violent, Molly hissed and threw Vaughn back from his desk. The wheels of his swivel chair carried him until he hit his cubicle wall. Unable to hold himself up on his own, Vaughn collapsed to the floor face first.
Molly ripped the drawers of his desk open, furiously digging through piles of papers and boxes of staples. Her fingers found the sweet smoothness of a plastic wrapper. Her eyes gleaming in victory, she cackled maniacally as she revealed a long lost Kit Kat bar.
"Hahahaha! Mine, mine, mine!" She shrilled, tearing the plastic off and dropping it. It fluttered and stuck to Vaughn's hair, but he hardly noticed. Molly shoved all four bars in her mouth at once, reveling in the sugary burst of sanity. Nearly crying in relief, she mumbled: "Precious, oh my precious…" before running off to leech on some other poor, unsuspecting soul.
"Rod…! Rod…!" Allen whined, hanging pathetically off his ginger friend's shoulder. "What am I gonna do…? I want coffee…!"
"'What are you gonna do?!' I don't give a damn what you're going to do!" Rod barked uncharacteristically. He roughly brushed Allen from his shoulder who fell lifelessly to the ground. "Think you're the only one who wants coffee? Do you?! Do you?!"
"Roooood…!" Allen whined, slowly curling into a ball.
"GO," this part had to be censored. Rod's furious face burned a fiery red that rivalled Allen's hair. "YOURSELF, ALLEN!"
Rod stalked off, muttering to himself and throwing anything innocent looking out of his way. Alice crawled across the ceiling above him.
Vaughn groggily opened his eyes. He felt heavy and his eyelids seemed to want to stick together. But… someone was shaking him awake.
"Vaughn? Um… Vaughn? Are you sleeping?"
After having had a nap, he was feeling much more cognitive than before, but nowhere near normal. He got to his feet, much to the relief of his companion, and rubbed his eyes. "What?"
Suddenly nervous once more, Candace looked at the floor but made an extra effort to look up at his face every now and again. "Um, I was wondering if… if you'd like some tea?"
"Tea?" Vaughn looked down and realized who he was talking to, his face turning all sorts of shades of red. Had he fallen asleep at work?! And Candace had to be the one to wake him up. How humiliating…
"S-sure!" Candace smiled brightly. She placed a hand on his arm, but when he looked at it, she let go of him like she touched a hot stove. "Er, I'll go get some…"
Vaughn wound up following her across the office. Candace opened the door and let Vaughn pass through first, quickly closing it behind them both.
Louis was scribbling away at his desk. He looked up when they entered and smiled. "Hey, there, Vaughn! Sounds pretty crazy out there!"
"How…" Vaughn tried to formulate words without sounding so grumpy. He was failing miserably. "How are you so happy if the coffee machine's busted?"
"Oh, I don't drink coffee," Louis said, still smiling so damn happily.
"You mean… you're like this all the time? You like working here?" Vaughn asked.
"Yup!" Louis chuckled, his big deer-like eyes blinking cheerily.
You're dead to me.
"H-here we go!" Candace announced, bringing out a thick silver thermos and a few Styrofoam cups. She explained as she poured the breakfast tea. "I've never been much of a fan of coffee, but I really like tea… is herbal tea fine with you?"
"That's… fine," Vaughn nodded, rubbing his eyes and yawning.
Candace finished pouring the drinks and brought up a chair from against the wall and placed it next to her desk, indicating it for Vaughn. "Why don't you h-have a seat?"
Vaughn unceremoniously plopped into the uncomfortable chair. He took up the cup offered to him. It was steaming with a dark liquid.
"Oh, Louis!" Candace seemed surprised he was there. She fumbled with an extra cup. "Would you like some, too?"
"No thanks, Candace," Louis shook his head. "I had a big breakfast this morning, so I'm all raring to go!"
Screw you. Screw you and all the morning people you're associated with.
"Vaughn?" Candace peered at him, her wide eyes curious. "Do you not like herb tea?"
"Oh," Vaughn looked down, realizing he was too busy being annoyed by/jealous of Louis' chipper attitude to taste the tea. He didn't have the heart to tell her he hated all things herb-related, but who knows? Maybe herb tea wouldn't be so bad. If it boils out all the nasty…
Candace watched him as he took a sip, finally sipping her own after he painfully swallowed his mouthful. She smiled. "Is it good?"
"Yeah," Vaughn resisted the urge to cough. It tasted just as bad as he expected, maybe worse. Like herbs on fire in a pool of their own filthy taste. "Yeah, it's great."
"Good!" Candace smiled again, drinking some more out of her cup. "I was worried that without coffee, today would be extra hard for you, but I remembered there are lots of teas that are high in caffeine. And they're healthier, so…"
Vaughn realized this was the first conversation they shared when she wasn't stuttering like she was petrified of him. He smiled and took another agonizing sip. "Thank you."
Candace blushed and held one of her large braids, winding her small fingers through the loose hair.
A dark thought clouded Vaughn's mind, successfully ruining the moment. What if she's doing this as a bribe? To make sure I stay quiet about her other job? She's certainly never acted so buddy-buddy before… The tea tasted sourer than it did before.
The song ended and Hamilton panted, keeping his pose steady until the last beat faded. He let loose and sighed. "If only I had a curtain of rain to fall down at the end – it would really close everything so nicely!"
He snapped his fingers in vexation at his misfortune to have an office unequipped with such a handy device. Hamilton stared out the window, watching the people on the sidewalk pass in the late afternoon. Children passed by the office, dressed in ridiculous costumes with paper bags ready to be filled with candy.
Hamilton half-listened to the sounds coming outside of his closed door. The muffles and yells that sounded like a Halloween movie soundtrack at full blast. "Sounds like they're really getting into the Halloween spirit out there! Oh, I'm so glad!"
Switching on the CD player again with new energy, Hamilton posed himself for the beginning of his magnificent interpretive dance.
"Mirala, caminar, caminar!"
A/N: I kind of did this on purpose. Vaughn was dreaming. Right…? Guess we'll never know. xD
Also, I turn into Molly without chocolate. That wasn't exaggerated much – it's rather pathetic, actually. And I love tea, I promise, despite Vaughn's bitter opinion on it. I remembered in Sunshine Islands if you give him an herb in any shape or form, he would get so angry. Only worse thing you could do was give him a carrot, I think. What a silly goose. :) Thanks for reading!