Chapter 3: How to stop ignoring the signs and reach the heart of the matter

"Where are we?"

"You idiot, can't you recognize the-"

"Oh fuck, don't say that again, just answer me!" Ikkaku shouted, shaking Yumichika a little as he swam around in the lukewarm soup. He could've sworn the pot was bigger than last time – maybe he was just smaller. That might have to do with the fact that he thought this scenario was hopeless and that he'd never escape it.

Yumichika yelled back at him in exasperation, "You are an idiot. If you know that this has happened before, you should remember where we are!"

"You could just play along, you know," Ikkaku grouched, spitting out soup. "Yuck, soup tastes nasty if it's not warmed up."

"Well how come you ate all of that soup you didn't eat last night, for breakfast earlier even though you left it to get cold?" Yumichika asked in confusion. Ikkaku had to pause and wonder how dream-Yumichika knew something that the real Yumichika had done.

"Well... You made it for me, so of course I ate it! I didn't wanna' hurt yer' feelings, so I tried some, and then I realized how fucking hungry I was!"

"Okay, okay, just get us out of here already," Yumichika demanded, as if it was Ikkaku's fault that they'd been tarrying here.

"I would if you'd fucking tell me how!" Ikkaku shouted, blowing his stack, really feeling like punching something, just barely hanging onto his cool, because he knew that killing Yumichika would cause the dream to reset again. He settled for slamming a fist down into the soup, satisfied with the splash.

"Alright, alright. Before the pot gets too hot, you need to push off of each wall." Yumichika pointed, wiping soup from his eyes with his other hand. "If you get the soup-wave big enough, maybe it will push the pot off the burner a little, and then it might fall to the floor."

"Okay, good plan," Ikkaku said obediently, going to do what he said, knowing that even if Yumichika's advice sounded ridiculous, it was usually correct. However, some part of his rational mind lingered, telling him to rethink this. "Wait, what after that? What'll happen when we fall and hit the floor?"

Yumichika was silent for a little while. Ikkaku groaned, putting his face in his hand. Yumichika still probably was right. The little jerk always loved proving himself right about stupid things.

"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it."

"It's cross that bridge, and you have no idea, do you," Ikkaku said knowingly, mad how stupid this plan was, even though he knew it would probably end up working. "We might bounce, or we might just die," Ikkaku said as he swam over to the side of the pot, pushing off of the wall with his feet. "Fuck, it's already starting to get too hot!" Ikkaku shoved off of the other wall, scalding his heels.

"No, I meant to say 'burn'," Yumichika insisted, thinking Ikkaku hadn't understood his pun. "You see it's supposed to be funny, because-"

"It's not funny," Ikkaku said flatly, getting his temper under control, enough that he was actually quite proud of himself. The next time he woke up, he was going to drink a beer to celebrate his self control. "It hurts," he hissed, burning the bottoms of his feet as he pushed off the other side.

"You're doing well, the pot's rocking," Yumichika noted, coughing as the wave washed a little too high and splashed his face. He clung to Ikkaku's thumb to try to keep steady as he was tossed around by Ikkaku's increasingly powerful shoves.

"You're doing good. You're getting a wave going," Yumichika congratulated, smiling sunnily even though they were supposed to be close to death. It was that smile that Yumichika had used to give him all the time, the smile that was so adoring, so very proud of him, those eyes that always saw him through rose colored glasses. Yumichika always supported him, believed in him, agreed with him, and Ikkaku hadn't realized how much strength it gave him until it was taken away.

He hardly ever saw that smile anymore, which was a little 'out-putting'. He was always screwing up these days, and Yumichika no longer followed him with blind loyalty. It sucked that the only person who had ever been proud of him wasn't anymore.

"Keep going, I felt it rock," Yumichika said, smiling wider, giving him some confidence. Ikkaku believed him, even though he himself hadn't felt anything but the sharp sting in his feet.

Ikkaku was encouraged by this, and continued, even though his feet were getting burns all over them. Burnt soles were better than being boiled alive. They didn't have very much time left. Their skin was already turning red.

"Hey, what the fuck are you doing?" Hisagi shouted, stomping over to the stove. Ikkaku shoved off another wall, finally feeling the pot almost move off the burner. Hisagi took the pot lid off just in time to get splashed with hot soup.

Ikkaku laughed as Hisagi screamed in pain, - not because Hisagi had been burnt, but because they were almost free! - but his happiness at his success quickly turned to horror when Hisagi threw the pot in the air in his struggle to get the scalding liquid off of him.

"Holy fuck!" Ikkaku was washed out of the pot onto the floor, impact softened by various vegetables and chopped meat. Yumichika had escaped his grip and was coughing somewhere behind a huge potato chunk. "Hey," Ikkaku whisper-called, "Hey, where are you, Yumi? Are you okay?"

Hisagi was still yelling, stripping his shirt off and throwing it across the room. His feet were making loud bumps, sending shockwaves through the floor, causing Ikkaku to lose balance. Poor Yumichika kept slipping in the soup and getting bounced up and down off his feet whenever Hisagi took a step.

"Wow, your kitchen's a mess," Ikkaku noted, standing up and going over to pick Yumichika up, carefully patting his back with a finger to help him breathe. He was extremely pale, clutching at his throat as he coughed, chest trembling. 'Poor little guy...' Ikkaku thought.

Somehow Hisagi heard his sarcastic comment and whirled around, pointing at him. "You did this, you bastard!" Hisagi shouted in anger.

Ikkaku put a hand on his hip, pouting as he looked up at Hisagi, who he was sure had gotten a little smaller... or maybe he'd gotten a bit bigger. "Well, why did you just throw the pot in the air, you lunatic?"

"I didn't, you splashed me with boiling soup! I was freaking out because it hurt!"

"You shouldn't have tried to cook us!" Ikkaku accused, growing a little bit bigger again as he pointed back at Hisagi, letting Yumichika crawl up onto his shoulder

"Pfft. It's not my fault you're hungry," Hisagi scoffed, crossing his arms.

"You see what I mean," Yumichika said sassily, referring to his earlier comment on how Ikkaku looked hungry and that that was the reason they were being eaten alive - which made no sense. Ikkaku groaned, facepalming. Suddenly Yumichika's face was grave, serious and a bit fearful. "Let's go, we need to get out of this house. Something bad's comi-"

Suddenly, Yumichika was half-slapping half-patting his face. "Get up, wake up, Ikkaku."

"What, what's wrong?" he asked groggily, smiling a little, knowing that he'd finally passed that stupid soup dream, whatever the point of it was. Maybe it was to stand up to Hisagi and not let him get in his way, even if he seemed like an obstacle. Maybe it was to be stubborn and not give up even in the face of impossible tasks. "It's the weekend, whatcha' wake me for?" The bottoms of his feet were prickling like they had fallen asleep.

"I'm sorry to wake you, I know how tired you've been. I just thought I should get you up, because Renji's here," Yumichika said quietly, patting his shoulder before wandering out of the bedroom in his lounge clothes. "I'm just going to go over to Rangiku's so you two can have some privacy. There's some snacks in the kitchen that I made."

"Okay, thanks," Ikkaku called back, wiping his eyes and getting out of bed, putting on a clean shirt and coming out into the front room, scratching his stomach with a yawn. "Hey, Red. Ya' bring tha-"

Renji held up the alcohol with a grin. Ikkaku grinned back, trying to snatch it, but Renji deftly moved it out of his reach. "Hey. Talk first. Booze after." Ikkaku whined but flopped down onto the couch. His kouhai knew him too well.

"Bye, Yumichika," Ikkaku mumbled as Yumichika toed on his shoes and left with a parting wave.

"So," Renji began, "Shoot." Ikkaku gave a weary sigh, sinking into the couch as Renji sat down next to him, took the lid off of the sake, sipped some, and put it on the coffee table. When Ikkaku reached for it, he smacked his hand. "Talk, Ikkaku."

Ikkaku sat there for a while, looking glum, before taking a breath to speak. Apparently he'd been quiet for long enough that Renji decided to prompt him again, so he was interrupted. "Dude, you haven't been lookin' so good for a while now. We're getting worried about you," Renji said uneasily. "Like actually worried."

"I toldja' I'm having nightmares, damnit," Ikkaku grumbled in embarrassment. Seriously, Madarame-Ikkaku, wielder of the dragon sword who'd killed more people than he could count, was brought to his knees by bad dreams. Maybe he was turning into Kurosaki. Ikkaku had never been cut out for hero work. Heroes got guilty, and Madarame Ikkaku just didn't do guilt. Maybe that was the problem here.

"Oh yeah... Ya'... ya' wanna' talk about it? That's why I came."

Ikkaku grimaced and looked at him for a moment. "Are you sure you can handle it? They're fucked up." Renji made to nod, but Ikkaku pointed in his face. "You'd better not laugh."

"They're funny?"

"If I tell them out loud, yeah, they'll probably sound funny. They're ridiculous."

"I'll... try not to laugh, Senpai." Renji grinned. "So how long has this-"

"A year," Ikkaku said loudly, trying to impress on Renji that this was serious and was driving him out of his gourd. "A whole year!"

"Well shit, yer' gettin' desperate then if you're askin' for help. You never ask for help." Ikkaku crossed his arms, growling that it wasn't 'help', it was something else like advice or counseling. Renji refrained from pointing out that those were the same things.

Ikkaku then went red, mumbling nothing for a little while, fidgeting, before finally coming out with it. "You know about my Yumichika problem, right?" It wasn't as if he'd told Renji about his feelings for Yumichika, but the squad eleven method was to never say the truth out loud because everyone who needs to know already knows about it anyway. Besides, Renji always had that way to be able to read what was bugging him like it was written on his face. Maybe Renji was less emotionally constipated or something.

Renji was silent for a couple seconds, "Your crush on Yumichika-senpai?" Frick, how did he always do that?

Ikkaku put his head in his hands. "Ugh, don't say it like that, I'm not some kid making goo-goo eyes."

"So... Your emoti-"

"No!" Ikkaku shoved him.

"Your feelin-"

"Nooooo!" Ikkaku moaned, making a ghastly face, staring at Renji with wide eyes. Renji grimaced, puffing out his cheeks, looking down at his lap.

"Your problem..." Ikkaku didn't say anything. "With Yumichika." Ikkaku blinked, pursing his lips. Renji took a breath, going slower. "Your Yumichika problem... The problem with Yumichika is that you're in lo-"

Ikkaku covered Renji's mouth. "Don't! Say! It!" Renji shoved him right back this time, getting fed up with his stupid avoidance tactics. Ikkaku grimaced, seeing that Renji totally thought he was a coward for acting like this, and maybe he was right. He was a coward. Ugh, just thinking that made him want to go kill something and prove his virility.

"Will you stop it?! Not saying it doesn't make it go away! Saying it out loud doesn't jinx it, you asshole! They say the first step in recovering from something is admitting that you have a problem, and you do. The problem is not Yumichika, the problem is you," Renji said loudly, making him listen.

Ikkaku's head flopped back on his shoulders, and he groaned miserably. "Ugh, you don't get it. I'm trying to forget about it." Renji huffed, slapping him on the shoulder.

"Instead of forgetting about it, you should do something about it." Ikkaku suddenly looked at him, face colored pale with lack of sleep and with frayed nerves, and Renji got the feeling that Ikkaku was one hundred percent terrified and sure that he could never admit that to Yumichika. This secret was even more closely guarded than his bankai, which wasn't really saying much if you thought about it. Either way, he could tell that he wouldn't budge on this. He might be able to get Ikkaku to admit that he was smitten for Yumichika, but he wasn't going to get him to confess that to Yumichika, no, never.

"I'm not doing something about it, Renji," Ikkaku said flatly, jumping a little after he said that, as if the idea had entered his mind that now Renji could go run off and tell on him. "You'd better keep your mouth shut," he said vehemently, but Renji saw through his anger straight to the fear that was really talking.

"I'm not gonna' tell, quit threatening me. We're friends."

"I'm just saying that two can keep a secret if one of them is dead," Ikkaku said flatly, that dangerous glint in his eye that appeared when someone talked about his lack of hair.

"Geez'o pete', Ikkaku, fine! For solidarity, I'll tell you a secret, and then we'll be even."

"Yeah?" Ikkaku said semi-curiously, not angry anymore.

"If it'll get you to just spill your dream-problem already." Ikkaku nodded, promising that he wouldn't even tell it to Yumichika. Of course, Ikkaku wasn't known for his secret-keeping. In fact, he was known for the opposite, so Renji was cautious in telling him."If this gets out, I'm telling Yumichika that you're sweet on him." Ikkaku just stared with a bleak expression, nodding, solemnly swearing that he'd not speak a word of it.

"I have a Kurosaki problem," Renji said, looking a little gaunt as he said it out loud awkwardly. Now that he thought about it, it was probably the first time he'd said anything about it out loud. Ikkaku stared at him for a few seconds, confused, as if he thought he was missing something.

"What? No way, you guys are always fighting, you totally hate- ... hm..." Ikkaku scratched his chin, thinking back on... "Oh dude, you are so gone. That's kinda' cute." He gave an evil grin, and Renji punched him in the shoulder, cheeks red.

"You shut up! At least Yumichika's gay. I don't even have a chance, so you'd better shut up. Now just get to your problem already! You were trying to say something about your Yumichika problem."

"Oh yeah. I was gonna' say that I think my nightmares have something to do with my... uh, feelings," he said awkwardly.

"I guess that makes sense... Wait... Didn't you try to ask Yumichika out last year?" Ikkaku didn't know how he could know that, because he hadn't told anyone of his plans. Maybe he'd told Renji when he was drunk, or maybe Renji had just figured it out on his own. "You were all upset and drinking yourself sick... Wait, they started at the same time? That's too big of a coincidence."

"I know," Ikkaku said woefully, head in his hands. "You know how it is. I don't want to tell him and maybe get rejected and ruin our friendship. I've known him longer than anyone. I just can't lose him. I need another way out of this besides telling him."

"Okay."

Ikkaku began explaining his strange dream world, the people in it, and how warped everything was. Renji stayed quiet, listening intently to his description of the obstacles he had to overcome, particularly that Yumichika was small-sized.

"Hm, that's strange. Every time?" Ikkaku nodded. Renji frowned as if he'd noticed something but was reluctant in sharing it. "Tell me about the other people that show up often."

"Hisagi, Uh... Kira, Rangiku, you, the captain, the lieutenant... I mean, other people show up too... Old enemies, espada, coworkers... but it's mostly the first few that I end up talking to. That's pretty much it."

"Do they have anything weird, like how Yumichika's small?" Ikkaku was glad that Renji was finally taking this seriously. When Renji decided to be nice, he was very very nice. He tried to explain well so that he could get this help - he really needed help, no matter how much his pride protested.

"Uh... Hisagi's kinda'... well, he' kinda' childish... He's either childish, stressed out, or in a hurry ta' get somewhere. I always thought that was cause' I have a hard time taking him seriously sometimes... We used ta' be good friends, but... I dunno', I just... Last night in the soup dream I was talking about, Hisagi was a giant."

Renji nodded, drumming his fingers on his mouth. "I know you said that you don't want me to take your problem with Yumichika into consideration-"

"I just don't want you to use it to explain everything away-"

"I'm not. I'm tellin' you, you can't just write it off if it actually might mean something. You said yourself that you think that's what's causing all this."

"Yeah?" Ikkaku asked cautiously.

"I think Hisagi was huge because he's competition. Half the time, you want to think he's stupid and not good enough for Yumichika, and the other half you see him as a threat." Ikkaku blinked. Shit, he was right. "He's competition for Yumichika's attention. That's why you stopped being friends with him and why you're always mad at him for no reason. It's jealousy. Kinda' like how I'll find myself getting mad at Orihime for no reason... Cause' she's crushin' on Ichigo. She's a sweet girl and I have no reason to hate her other than jealousy."

"I guess that makes sense," Ikkaku grumbled, not liking how petty that made him sound.

"How is Kira in the dreams?"

"I don't know, I haven't actually come across Kira in a while," Ikkaku mused. "I don't quite remember... Rangiku's always looking for Ichimaru though, and she's usually singing somethin' or othe- OH, Last time I saw Kira, he was with Rangiku."

"What were they doing?" Ikkaku deflated, because he couldn't remember that either. The only thing he recalled was that Kira was usually a mess of some kind. "Like a crying mess, or muddy kind of mess?" Ikkaku didn't remember; he just remembered Yumichika calling Kira a mess. "Okay, we can get back to that. How 'bout me?"

"You actually are usually helpful, and I guess that makes sense cause' yer' helpin' me now... but I hardly ever find you. You're mute there, ya' don't talk. Yumichika told me once that it's because you know something, and that you're not allowed to tell me..."

"Ominous... Anything else?"

"You like to hide, which is why I hardly even find ya'... You like to play riddle games, but... sometimes you get crazy scary and violent if I make a wrong move. You also usually are around fire or fireworks or human weapons of some kind, which I don't get."

"Hm..." Renji looked like he didn't understand it either. "That doesn't make any sense. You don't see me as a threat to your power, do ya'?" Ikkaku shook his head. "You're not mad at me, and you don't have a grudge on me... So why?... I'm sure there's a connection, but I don't see it yet," Renji finished, sighing, crossing his ankles.

"I know you said you don't believe that dreams have any meaning... I remember you saying that a long time ago... But I think we can agree that these dreams are definitely linked." Ikkaku nodded. "There's something strange about it."

"Any advice?" Ikkaku asked woefully, "I'll take what I can get. I haven't had a restful sleep in almost a year. Seriously, it's fucking me up, man."

"Hm... You know, maybe if you were nicer to Yumichika, he'd be less inclined to ignore you and be all depressed and snotty. I don't know if you noticed, but he's been looking kinda' lonely and sad for a while now."

"If I didn't have to listen to his Hisagi love-noise all day, maybe I'd be less inclined to be mad at him," Ikkaku retorted. Renji sighed and insisted that he just try being more understanding.

"That might help at least, until we can figure out a way to stop this without you spilling the beans to Yumi."

"Alright, I'll try. The thing that's been worrying me the most is that lately Yumichika's been warning me of something big that's gonna' happen soon, and I think it might be something that's going to happen here."

Renji was stoic. "That's not good. We'll have to figure a solution before then." Ikkaku agreed, and then they finally had that drink that he'd been waiting for.

Ikkaku screamed, writhing in pain that was too much for him to handle. It felt so real, as intense, burning, and sharp as real pain, and it was freaking him out. After a huge clapping noise and a sizzle, the pain lessened, and he was flipped over onto his back by something. He kept wishing for Yumichika to come save him, because he couldn't take this pain without any help. There was no enemy to fight, he felt like he was on fire for God's sake! He opened his eyes.

"Aw, what? A frying pan?"

"What is it with you and food dreams?" Yumichika snarked.

"I'm fucking hungry!"

"Well, why aren't you the one cooking us then?" Yumichika scolded, blowing holes in his theory.

"I can't cook myself, dumbass. You're not even bite-sized, you chicken-wing." Yumichika made a noise of offense, but Ikkaku ignored him, feeling confident all of a sudden. Maybe talking to someone about this really had helped. He nabbed little Yumichika and stood up, not concerned with the burning. In fact, he couldn't even really feel it anymore. He walked over the slick black metal, feet not even feeling the sizzling grease as he made it right up to the frying pan handle. After taking a moment to crack his knuckles, he jumped on it, catapulting the bacon and the frying oil right out of it. He had to wonder who had flipped him over with that huge spatula, because he didn't see Hisagi or any other giant chef anywhere near them.

"What did you do that for?" Yumichika crossed his arms in a huff as Ikkaku picked them up off of the floor, walking out of the large kitchen.

"I dunno', it was fun." As he wandered around the unfamiliar house, it began getting smaller and smaller, until he was just the right size. He didn't see any people, and eventually he made his way outside to a scary dark forest.

"Oh great, you worked something out, didn't you... You broke through your denial," Yumichika mumbled, going pale. "I knew this night would come. That means that he'll be coming."

"Where are we?" Ikkaku asked, in awe of the terrifying-looking place. If he got lucky, he could probably find some super tough guys in there. Those would be awesome fights!

"What?"

"I said, 'where are we'."

"The heart of the matter," Yumichika said ominously, pointing towards a signpost that was at the entrance to the woods.

Once Ikkaku read it, he knew that this would be the final task, and it was gonna' be a clusterfuck.