Author's Note:
Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it today and tomorrow. We are presenting this chapter earlier than you may have expected, just to spread a little Holiday cheer. While you are stuffed with turkey, ham and a myriad of side dishes, we hope you'll enjoy chapter 5 of our little story. A lot of you were a little perturbed by the cock-blocking in the last chapter...fear not. No cocks were blocked or came to any other harm in this latest installment.
And of course, The Twilight Saga and all related characters are still not ours. We make no money from this. You knew that. We just play in the sandbox SM created for all of us.
I'd like to thank my husband who puts up with me sitting at the PC all night long, and ConfettiRainfall's husband lets her fly up to see me whenever the mood strikes us. We wrote the initial draft for this chapter sitting next to each other, giggling our heads off. We like it that way.
Ready?
Aaand...
Go!
5. With Hearts Wide Open
From Chapter 4:
"Take me to bed, Edward."
Yes, ma'am.
ooo~~~OOO~~~ooo
BPOV
Edward threw me over his shoulder and playfully slapped my ass as he walked towards his front door. I giggled and returned the favor. Once inside the house, he set me down and shut the door with his foot. He cradled my face in his hands.
"Bella," he whispered before he crushed his lips to mine. I gasped as the familiar spark shot through me, and he wasted no time pushing his tongue into my mouth. I met him eagerly, throwing my hands around his neck and burying them in the hair at the nape of his neck.
Our tongues stroked and twirled, and he moaned, running his hands down my sides and grasping my waist. He pulled my hips against his, and I could feel his erection against my stomach. The kiss became fevered and as I ground myself against him, his hands pulled on the hem of my shirt.
I toed off my shoes and heard him do the same. His musky scent overwhelmed my senses, and I moaned as I felt his fingers on my bare, overheated skin. He walked me backwards further into the house as my shirt was pulled over my head, breaking our kiss for a moment until he carelessly discarded it on the floor before reclaiming my lips.
My fingers twisted into the fabric of his shirt as his nimble hands found the button of my shorts. They joined my shirt a few seconds later and I found myself clad only in my simple cotton bra and panties. And white sneaker socks.
Not the sexiest I had ever felt, but he didn't seem to mind as he stepped back a little and simply looked at me with hooded eyes.
"God, you are still just as beautiful as you were back then."
I stared at him, licking my lips.
"Edward," I moaned. "Please..."
"What do you need, baby?"
"You," I whimpered. "I need you."
"Fuck..." The look in his eyes changed for a moment as he inhaled sharply. "Say it again."
"I need you, Edward. I need you...need you...only you...please."
"Oh God, yes. Yes, baby. You don't know how much I needed to hear that."
His honest statement brought tears to my eyes. I wanted to reply how much I had needed him over the years, but then he stepped towards me and pulled me against his chest. The dam broke.
I gasped in need and desire as he bent down to kiss me again. His hands grabbed under my ass and lifted me up. My legs automatically wrapped around his waist as he strode quickly towards his bedroom.
Once inside, he laid me reverently onto the bed, holding himself above me. I lifted my hips against him and was rewarded with a groan.
"Ungghh...fuck, Bella..."
He pushed himself up on his arms above me as his fingers found my face.
"Slow down a little, honey...we have time. I want to savor you."
He sat back on his knees and ripped his shirt over his head, then pulled my socks off my feet, pressing soft kisses to my ankles. He kissed his way up my legs, following the hot trail of his hands until he found the edge of my panties. His fingers curled inside the hem and as he pulled them down, his mouth followed the path of the fabric.
He crawled up my body and devoured my mouth again, his hands expertly opening the clasp of my bra, pulling the straps down my arms. He threw it across the room as his lips closed over my nipple and his tongue flicked the hardened peak.
The loud moan escaping my mouth echoed around the room.
A nasty little voice inside me whispered how much more experienced and efficient he seemed. I didn't remember him being so skillful. Having lost our virginities to each other, we had mostly fumbled our way through.
His hands seemed to wander over my skin effortlessly, knowing exactly how to touch me, how to set my skin on fire. He played my body as if he had been doing it for years.
This was not the teenage boy I remembered. This was a man who knew his way around a woman's body, having acquired the expertise that could only come from numerous encounters.
I hadn't expected him to remain celibate – Edward had always been a very sexual being, and our after-practice sessions had been frequent and passionate.
Clearly, he had fucked plenty of women while we'd been apart, gracing them with the strength and power of his body and the emotions of his beautiful heart. My heart hurt with the knowledge that what should have been mine was given to others. What should have been ours, I threw away out of fear and insecurity.
And I had, because of my own stupid assumptions and decisions, missed out on all of the love and passion that this man possessed.
I had no right to be jealous.
Still, the pain of regret was sharp and piercing.
Of course, Edward noticed.
"Hey," he whispered. "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing." I smiled at him, trying not to cry. "It's stupid."
He searched my eyes and with a sigh, laid down next to me, pulling my head to his chest.
"Do you not want this, Bella?"
"God, Edward – I want this more than anything. I want you."
"Then what just happened? I felt you pull away. Damn it, Bella – I can't do this if you're not all the way in."
I lifted myself up and wrapped my arms around his neck, confessing into the crook of his shoulder.
"I am. Please, believe me. I want you, I want this – I want there to be an us. It's just...God, how do I say this...you're so much better at this than what I remember. And there's this voice in my head that nags at me that you obviously have...well...grown in that area, and it reminded me that there have been other women. It's stupid...I shouldn't feel jealous, but I do."
Edward inhaled sharply and pushed me back. His eyes were narrowed and his mouth distorted in anger.
"Are you fucking seriously asking me if I've been with other women since you left me?"
He abruptly got off the bed and started pacing across the floor, pulling on his hair.
"Jesus, Bella – what did you expect me to do? Be a fucking monk? Just me and my hand? I'm a guy, alright? Yeah, there've been others. So fucking what? I didn't love any of them – they were a means to an end, just to get off. I've tried for fourteen fucking years to get over you, and you throw this shit in my face that I wasn't celibate for all that time? Seriously?"
"No," I whispered, "that's not what I meant."
It was as if he hadn't heard me – he just continued to rant.
"Do you realize that I couldn't even look at another woman until after I finished college? Hell, the one time I tried to have a relationship with someone new, it blew up in my face when I screamed your fucking name during my orgasm."
I jumped off the bed and went over to him, wrapping my arms around him.
"No, Edward – I didn't expect that at all. I knew there'd be consequences but I never allowed myself to think of you with anyone else. It would have been too painful to even consider."
He relaxed slightly in my arms, his expression softening.
"And I know this wasn't a great moment to realize it, I know that. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry – please, I didn't mean to make you feel bad."
Edward huffed.
"What about you? It's not like you didn't have sex in the last fourteen years. Your kid is obvious proof of that."
I smiled sadly. It was time for the truth.
"James is the result of a drunken one-night stand and a broken condom. His father was the first and the only to touch me in any sexual way since I left you. Jacob's parents insisted we marry after they found out I had gotten pregnant. I was never in love with him. Sure, I grew to care for him – he was my child's father after all, but he could never replace you."
"What?" He stared at me incredulously.
I nodded. "Yeah, they called me the ice queen in college because I shot down all offers. I never went out, and I just wasn't interested in anyone. I didn't have you, and I sure as hell didn't want anyone else."
"Okay. Let's say I believe that...then why Jacob? What changed?"
"I went out with colleagues from work for my twenty-fourth birthday. They didn't give me much of a choice, just dragged me to some club. I drank more than I should have and woke up the next day in Jacob's apartment, ashamed at myself for having sex with a man I knew nothing about. I left with the intention of never seeing him again."
Edward pulled me towards the bed and offered me his shirt. I pulled it over my head to cover my nakedness. As comfortable as I felt around him, this conversation was happening now, and I didn't want to be naked for it. I felt exposed enough as it was.
"So, then what?"
"Well, it turned out that he knew one of my co-workers, and over the next several weeks, he contacted me repeatedly to ask me out. I blew him off every time. I just wasn't interested and regretted ever having slept with him."
"Persistent little fucker," Edward joked half-heartedly.
I smiled a little. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. Anyway, I kept telling him I wasn't interested, pissed with my colleague for giving out my number, and eventually, after about three weeks, he stopped calling. And that was fine with me. I knew I'd never love anyone else but you."
I took a breath , remembering the lines on the peeing stick turning blue and the pangs of regret that shot through me at the realization that I had, with that extra line, lost Edward for good. Even if he could forgive me for lying and leaving him like I had, sitting in that bathroom I had been certain that he would not even consider taking me back if he were to find out I was carrying a child that wasn't his.
I looked at my hands, unable to meet his eyes.
"A week later, I figured out that I was pregnant."
The statement hung in the room. Edward was silent.
"I called him, because I felt that he deserved to know. I didn't expect anything from him, and I was going to raise this child on my own, but he was excited to hear from me and when I told him the news, he wanted to be involved. I guess he told his parents, and they demanded we get married so the child would have his name. I didn't want that, nor did he – I really didn't know the guy and I worried that we'd only end up divorced, thus giving my child the same kind of circumstances I grew up with."
"Yeah, I guess I can see your reasoning there. I wish you would have called me. I would have helped you."
I stared at him, too stunned to speak as the tears finally overflowed and I began to cry. He grabbed my hands and squeezed them, then pulled me into his arms again. I rested my cheek against his chest.
"Why didn't you call me, Bella?" He sounded disappointed. I wiped the tears off my face and looked up at him.
"The thought did cross my mind, but Edward – I figured you had moved on, and I sure as hell didn't deserve your help. I had hurt you so badly, slept with another guy, ending up pregnant and single, and I assumed there was no way you'd ever even consider helping me. Besides, if you had moved on like I intended for you, I didn't want to mess up the life you had built for yourself."
"What life?" he scoffed. "There has been no one in my heart since you. If it weren't for Rose and Emmett, I'd be a fucking hermit. There is no life without you, Bella. And you have got to stop thinking you can decide what's best for me. Even if I had moved on, we do have history. I would never have turned my back on you if you needed help. It should have been my choice. Damn it, it wouldhave been my choice. If I had known I would have been there – no matter what."
I raised my hand to stroke his cheek and looked into his eyes. "Edward, I'm so sorry. I just thought...well, I thought I didn't deserve better."
"Oh, for fuck's sake, Bella – this is bullshit. You didn't even give me the option. I didn't even get the chance to make that choice."
"I'm sorry," I whispered. "You're right. I took that choice from you, too."
His arms snaked around my waist and pressed me closer. The anger melted from his face, only to be replaced by pain.
"So why did you marry him?"
"His parents – they badgered and bullied both of us until we decided that it was just easier to give in. It was also in James' best interest, and since I had lost you for good, at least in my mind, I didn't have any more fight in me. We got married three months before James was born, at the courthouse. I refused to have a reception or any kind of celebration, and Jacob didn't care either way."
"But you loved the guy eventually?"
"I tried to make things work, and Jacob was a good guy, at least initially. I grew to love him, and we had a reasonably good marriage for about four years after James was born. I focused all of my energy on my son. I thought of you occasionally, but I had buried that pain deep in the back of my mind, and I just tried to concentrate on my child and my marriage. I wanted to make things right for him. It didn't work. Shortly before James turned five, I found out that Jacob had been carrying on an affair for about six months."
"What a fucking loser. Why didn't you divorce his ass?"
"Well, he said he was sorry, and promised to break it off with the other woman, and to be honest, since I never loved him the way I always loved you, it didn't hurt me as much as it maybe should have. My only concern was my son. He deserved both parents. And maybe I had at that point gotten used to being miserable. Hell, part of me was convinced I deserved to be miserable for what I had done to you. Jacob moved into the spare room while we tried to repair our marriage. It turned out that he lied to me – when he died, he was on his way back from his mistress' house. I was angry that he lied, that he had continued to deceive me when I had put forth an effort to save our marriage."
"What happened to him?"
"He had a car accident."
I felt exhausted, even though I knew I had more to tell him. I hadn't spilled my secrets to anyone for so long, it almost felt cathartic to finally tell Edward the truth.
He was silent for a long time after I stopped talking.
"That should be my kid you're raising. I had so many plans for us..." Edward's voice sounded dejected and pained.
"Is it too late?" I whispered, holding my breath to wait for his answer.
EPOV
"No."
My answer was instant and without thought. It would never be too late. Despite all the baggage that Bella had just dumped on me, there would never be a time when I would not want her. And now that included her kid.
I clutched her closer against me, my arms tightening around her tiny waist and pulled her into a more comfortable position in my lap.
"No, Bella. It's not too late."
I raised one hand to lift her chin and searched her eyes, hoping to convey with mine how I felt. Yes, I was still angry with her for leaving me, and disappointed that she had never even tried to contact me after we broke up, but I was finally starting to understand her reasoning.
And knowing that her pregnancy was an accident, not something she intended, and that her marriage to Jacob wasn't something she had wanted, made it easier for me to accept her past.
Perversely, it made me feel better that she was as miserable without me as I had been without her.
And yet, I knew that we could only move forward now. The past was in the past, there was nothing we could do to change it, and currently, I had a hot woman in my lap who wore nothing but my sweaty shirt.
The dried tears and snot didn't quite distract me from that fact, but I was enough of a gentleman to offer her a moment to clean up instead of pouncing on her naked flesh the way I wanted to. I was reluctant to let her go, but there was always the option of showering together. I had yet to clean up from our morning activities.
"I love you, Bella."
"I love you, too. God, I must look awful. Can I use your bathroom?"
"Sure. I still need to take a shower, anyway."
"Oh, right. Okay, yeah. So, I'll be right back, okay?"
Visions of shower sex clouded my mind.
"Actually, I was hoping you'd join me." I winked at her. "Seeing how you're wearing my smelly shirt..."
"What are you saying? Your stink has rubbed off on me?"
I rubbed my hands down her back, to the hem of the shirt, pulling playfully as I looked at her appraisingly.
"Well, that would be rather impolite, don't you think?"
She giggled and put her arms around my neck, kissing my nose.
"If you remember, it was always your sweaty scent that would set me off..."
She jumped off my lap and sauntered to the bathroom.
"Coming, Edward?"
That was the plan.
"Not yet, but it's starting to look up."
Bella giggled again as she disappeared through the door.
I pulled off my shorts and boxers and discarded them into the hamper on my way to the bathroom. Bella had turned on the water and as I entered the room, I found her standing with her back to me at the sink, naked as the day she was born, wiping her face with her hands.
I was already rock-hard when I snaked my arms around her waist and ground myself into her ass.
"God, Bella – you are so fucking beautiful."
I moved her hair out of the way and kissed the soft skin on her neck, nibbling my way up to her ear.
"Let's get in the shower, sweetheart."
She squealed as I lifted her up into the basin and shut the door behind me. The hot spray of the water soaked her hair and she raised her hands to push it back from her face, looking up at me. Fascinated, I followed the trail of water that ran down her chest, between her still-firm tits, the peaks hardened and just begging to be touched.
Happy to oblige, I leaned down and kissed her hard, pushing my tongue into the hot cavern of her mouth as my hands found her nipples, twisting and squeezing the pebbled tips, rolling them between my fingers. I ground my hips into hers, letting my hands wander down her stomach. Moving one hand to her ass, I let my fingers travel further south until I encountered the soft curls that covered her pussy.
"Fuck, Bella – you are so wet already," I groaned against her lips as I parted her folds and pushed a finger inside her. "Lift your leg up, baby."
She hitched one leg around my thigh and opened herself to me. I was painfully hard at this point and all I could think of was to be buried inside her, pounding into her, feeling her clench around my rigid cock.
She moaned as my thumb flicked her clit and I added another finger to the slick flesh, slowly moving in and out of her tight sheath. "Yes, Edward, oooh...yes...ungh..."
"I'm sorry, honey...," I moaned, "we'll do slow and soft later...right now, I just need to fuck you...hard."
She shuddered as my hips jerked towards her again, and she wrapped a soft hand around my swollen shaft, pumping quickly up and down.
"Yes, baby...please...please fuck me...I need you, Edward...please."
I bent down and lifted her with both hands on her ass, lining myself up with her entrance and, with a swift move, pulled her down on top of my throbbing dick. We both groaned as I filled her, pushing her back against the shower wall. I bent my head and claimed her lips again, mimicking the motions of my cock with my tongue in her mouth.
The position didn't leave much room for movement, so I pulled out just a little and pushed back in hard, grinding against her clit. She gasped into my mouth, the heels of her feet digging into my ass as she squeezed her legs around my waist. I sped up my thrusts until I felt her walls clench and quiver around me. The sounds of skin hitting skin echoed around the shower stall. My balls tightened and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer.
I bent my head and sucked on her left tit, pulling the hard tip into my mouth and flicking my tongue over it repeatedly. With a plop, I let it go, only to capture the other side gently with my teeth. I rolled my tongue around it as I flexed my hips, driving deeper into her with every forward thrust.
Her fingers wrapped around the hair at the nape of my neck, pulling on the strands to the point of pain. It only intensified my lust for her, my need to claim this woman and make her mine.
For good.
"Bella...almost...there...fuck...so good...baby...tell me...you're mine...mine...only mine..." I grunted in time with my thrusts, my voice straining from the exertion. My fingers gripped her ass harder as I slammed into her pussy again and again.
"Edward...ooh...yours...oh yes...always yours...fuck...harder...yes...ooooh..."
The strain of my exertion was starting to get to me. My legs started to shake as I continued to pound her into the shower wall, huffing out words with each forward thrust.
"Mine...unngh...I need...unghh...you to come...fuck...touch...yourself."
She reached a hand between us and rubbed her clit while holding on to my neck with the other. I drove into her faster and harder; the burn in my legs was increasing as the familiar coil tightened in my groin.
"Edward...oh God...yes...fuck...oh...oh...ohh...I'm coming...oh Gooooood..."
Bella's nails dug into the skin of my shoulder as she clamped down around my dick. With a final hard push to the hilt, I threw my head back, incoherently calling out her name as my cock swelled and pulsed, spilling my load in jerky spurts deep inside her.
"Bella...yes...I'm...I'm...oh, fuck...Bella...oh, shit...yes...yes...baby, so good...so good...fuuuuck..."
My knees buckled as the mind-blowing pleasure washed over me in droves, and I slowly slid her down with me until I was kneeling on the shower floor, my hands still holding her up while I rode out wave after wave of my orgasm. I moved my hands around her waist when her feet reached the ground, and sat on my heels, clutching her to me, still deeply connected to her, as the water rained down on us, both of us breathing hard. My head fell into the crook of her neck and I shuddered as her pussy clenched around my cock with the final pulses of her climax.
I kissed her again before pulling back to look at her.
"Jesus, Bella...so fucking good."
She smiled weakly as she panted. "Yeah, that's an understatement..."
I grinned smugly, a feeling of pride and contentment flashing through me, and waggled my eyebrows at her.
Bella giggled which did interesting things to my now oversensitive cock, her walls still quivering from the aftershocks. My hips jerked involuntarily.
"You think we're clean enough now?" she teased, still panting a little.
"Probably not since we forgot the soap. Not that I'm complaining. That was amazing!"
"Yes, it was," she nodded. "Best sex I've had in fourteen years."
My mouth dropped open in shock.
"What?"
Bella didn't answer, just stared at me meaningfully.
And the caveman inside me pumped his fist.
When we were both sufficiently recovered, I slid out of her, whining silently at the loss of her heat, and helped her stand up. We washed each other tenderly, and if I had been a younger man, I would have tried for another round, but at thirty-three, my dick just didn't bounce back as it used to.
The water ran cold eventually, and Bella shrieked before pushing the door open and escaping into the bathroom. I followed her quickly, handing her a towel from the rack before wrapping one around my waist. I helped her dry herself, paying special attention to the area between her legs and the soft mounds of flesh on her chest. I checked her back for marks but didn't find any.
"Are you sore, baby? I wasn't too rough, was I?"
"I'd say you fucked me good and proper, Edward," she answered with a smile. That prompted another inner fist pump.
I moved her wet hair away from her neck, sucking a few water drops off her shoulder. Her taste was just as I remembered and my lower regions responded accordingly.
She snickered, glancing at my dick tenting the towel.
"Again?"
For some odd reason, my ears began to burn.
"Yeah, well, I was just thinking that I'm not eighteen anymore, but it seems my not-so-little friend here has other ideas."
She wrung out her hair with another towel, laughing as she pressed herself against me.
"I don't mind that at all," she purred.
I must have been still delirious from the very best orgasm I'd had in a long time because I just blurted out the next words.
"God, I've missed you so fucking much, Bella."
The desperate need for her that bubbled up to my throat, never verbalized since she had left me, never acknowledged openly since those first few weeks of drunken stupor, hit me like a ton of bricks. There was no fucking way in hell I could ever let her go again.
And I hoped to God that she would let me keep her this time.
Bella dropped her towel and wrapped her hands around my neck, sighing into my shoulder as she pressed her lips to my skin.
"I am so sorry, Edward. I can never apologize enough for hurting you."
I crushed her to me, breathing in the scent of my shower gel on her skin. The enormity of this second chance, one I never thought I would have, washed over me. All I wanted at that moment was to move forward, to leave the past behind and focus on our future.
Together.
"Bella, I don't want any more apologies. There is no need for them. I do understand why you did what you did. I don't like it, but it happened. What I want from you now is your promise that you won't leave me again."
"I'm not going anywhere. Not ever. I'm here until you tell me to go."
"Well, that will never happen. You can fucking count on that. I proposed to you yesterday morning and meant every word of it – do you really think I'd tell you to get lost the next day?"
I softly kissed her.
Bella smiled a brilliant smile.
"Yeah, you're right. That would make no sense at all."
"Exactly."
"And even though now might not be the right time, I do hope you'll ask me again some day."
"You can count on that, too, sweetheart."
I kissed her again before walking out of the bathroom to grab some clean clothes. As I pulled on my boxers, Bella came into the room, clad only in a towel. She bent to pick up her discarded panties and grimaced.
"What's wrong, honey?" I asked, wondering again if she was hurt after our shower fuck. "You okay?"
She straightened and smiled a little. "Yeah, I'm fine...just not too keen on putting these back on. I'm all clean and they're...not."
"Oh..." I scratched my head. "Well, do you want to borrow one of my boxers? Just roll 'em up a little, I guess. And if you like, maybe you could bring some of your panties over for next time? Or some clothes in general?"
"What?" She stared at me with an incredulous look on her face. "Don't you think that maybe that's a little fast? I mean...don't get me wrong...I'm so happy to have you back, but it's only been like...four days?"
I returned her gaze evenly. I understood her point, but she needed to see it from my side.
"Bella, I have waited fourteen years to share a drawer with you. There is nothing I would consider too fast in our case."
She regarded me silently for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. Okay. That would be nice. Thanks."
"Anything," I promised solemnly. "Any time."
I tossed her the smallest pair of boxers I owned, and ogled her openly as she pulled them over her hips.
Fuck me sideways. She looks fucking hot in my boxers.
Score! I got my woman in my undies.
And Caveman Edward comes out to play.
Excellent. Now throw her on your bed and have your way with her.
I told the eighteen year old boy in me to cool it as Bella walked out of the bed room clad only in her bra and my boxers, holding her socks in her hands. At the door, she turned her head and winked at me.
"Come find me when you're dressed..." she said, and I wasn't sure if she realized how seductive she sounded.
Hot damn, she is killing me.
So fucking sexy.
After a moment of staring silently at the open door, I threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt before following Bella into the living room where we had dropped her clothes earlier. My stomach was growling more urgently, and I was fairly sure that Bella needed some food now, too.
"How about some lunch now, honey?" I asked when I joined her as she put on her shirt and shorts. "I probably have enough for a few sandwiches, and there's beer in the fridge. Or Coke, I think."
"I could eat," she replied with a grin. "I guess I'm hungry for food now, after all."
I grabbed her hand to pull her towards the kitchen. "Come on, woman...feed your man."
She rolled her eyes, snickering. "You're still just as much a caveman as you used to be."
"And don't you forget it," I grinned. "But I'm your caveman."
The easy banter continued as we worked together to make our sandwiches. I found a bag of chips in the pantry, and grabbed us each a beer from the fridge before sitting down at the breakfast bar with her.
Half way through lunch, Bella's cellphone rang. I continued eating as she answered.
"Hey, Seth."
She looked at me and smiled. I grinned back. The guy had scored major brownie points by giving me time with Bella this afternoon.
"We're just eating lunch now."
"Yes, just now."
"None of your business." She blushed and winked at me.
"Yeah, okay, sounds good. We'll probably head over there in a little while."
"Okay, see you then. Bye."
She tossed the phone onto the counter. I raised an eyebrow, silently asking what was going on.
"Seth is taking James back to my house to play video games."
"Ah," I nodded though I was taken a little aback that he had a key to her place. "So, what's the plan?"
She looked down at her food before lifting her eyes again, smiling shyly at me through her lashes.
"Well, I thought maybe you'd like to join us for dinner? Nothing fancy, just some pasta and meatballs."
I grinned at the invitation, eager to spend more time with her and her son.
"I'd like that."
"Me, too."
She bit into her sandwich and washed it down with a sip of her beer. I bit the bullet and asked the question that was causing my current heartburn.
"So...what's the deal with Seth? Awfully close for a brother-in-law..."
Her head snapped up. "What do you mean?"
"Well, ya know...just thinking here...dude has a key to your place...I might be a little jealous. Possibly."
I flashed her a crooked smile before taking a swig of my beer.
Bella laughed. "Seriously, Edward – you have nothing to be jealous of with Seth. He was there for me after Jacob died, he offered me his help when I needed to get away from my in-laws. He's the reason I came back to Jacksonville."
My mouth dropped open and I frowned. She was quick to elaborate though she rolled her eyes at me.
"No, no...jeez...not in the way you're thinking. My in-laws are a little...overbearing, you might say, and after James' father's death, they kept trying to push me to do things their way. They wanted me to move in with them, insinuating that I couldn't possibly take care of my son on my own. Seth was always on my side and spent a lot of time with James even before Jacob died, and when he got orders to transfer here, he suggested I move here with him. And it seemed like a good time to come home."
She took another sip of beer.
"And now I'm ecstatic that I did. I never thought I'd see you again...it never even occurred to me that you'd still be here. I had buried my dreams of a life with you a long time ago."
"Huh...and what happens when Seth gets transferred again?"
Bella looked me straight in the eye.
"As long as you want me, I'm staying. I mean it, Edward. This," she motioned between us, "this is an unexpected gift and while I may have been a fool to let you go once, I am not making that same mistake twice. If you want me, you got me. Got it?"
I nodded slowly, a part of me still scared to believe her completely. Only time would tell. Seth's lack of knowledge about our history still disturbed me a little. I decided to grab the bull by the horns.
"He seems very...protective of you and James. And he apparently didn't know anything about us, Bella."
"Edward – it's only been four days."
I huffed as the anger rose again and crossed my arms over my chest.
"That's not what I meant. He didn't know anything about us, Bella. Our past. He said you referred to us as 'old friends.'"
"Of course, he doesn't know. It was none of his business. No one knows. I never mentioned you – it was too painful. Every time I looked at my wedding ring, I wished it was yours. Can you not understand why I would not bring up the subject of us with any of them? You seem to still be under a grave misconception. I wasn't happy without you. I lived for my child alone. He was the only bright spot in my life."
Her eyes swam in tears. I swallowed hard, relaxing my stance and turning the anger onto myself for doubting her again. I looked at her sheepishly, grabbing the beer bottle and twisting it in my hands.
"I'm sorry, Bella – I'm a jealous ass. I assumed when I first found out about you and James that you had simply moved on and were happy with the life you chose. I guess I'm still having a hard time believing that you were just as miserable as I've been."
She fiddled with the paper towel in her hands, wrapping it around her fingers before swiping at the tear that ran down her cheek.
"Yeah, well, it's okay – anyway, it wasn't something I felt the need to discuss with my brother-in-law."
"I'm really sorry. I'll try harder."
Bella bit her lip, a flicker of pain rushing across her face, before replying.
"Edward, you don't have to try harder. I understand how you feel, and I fully take the blame for it. What did Seth say to you?"
"Well, he made it very clear to me that he would kick my ass if I hurt you or James." I scowled a little at the memory of this threat.
"Yeah, that sounds like him," Bella said lightly. "He's been really great, and I rely on him to help with James a lot. He loves my son, and I would guess that he doesn't want him to get caught in the middle, if this thing between us doesn't work out."
"There is nothing to worry about in that aspect, as far as I'm concerned. I'm not going anywhere and the only way this is going to end badly is if you decide our fate for both of us again."
She reached across the table and intertwined our fingers, rubbing her thumb against the back of my hand.
"I guess he has nothing to worry about, then. I'm not going anywhere." She smiled sadly. "I guess it'll just take a while for you to believe me. And that's okay."
"I want to, Bella, really, I do..."
She shrugged a little. "Don't worry about it."
"Well, let me just say that these past four days have been the very best in the last fourteen years for me."
Bella blinked her tears away.
"Me, too," she whispered, squeezing my hand. "Me, too."
We finished our beers and our sandwiches, and after I had discarded our plates in the sink, I pulled Bella into the living room.
"I don't know about you, but I'm a little wiped. How about we relax on the couch for a while?"
"Yeah, sure," she replied. "Last night wasn't the best night of sleep I ever had."
"No?" I teased. "You mean your Edward-mattress wasn't comfortable?"
"Not exactly, though it was actually rather nice to fall asleep with you."
"My Bella-blanket was the best."
She giggled. "Flip on the TV?"
"Sure. Any preference?"
"I don't care...pick something."
I lay down on the couch on my side and pulled her down in front of me. She laid her head against my shoulder and pressed her back into me, wiggling her ass against my groin. My reaction was instant and the once comfortable jeans rapidly became too tight as my dick rose to the occasion.
I groaned and stilled her hips with my hand.
"Tease." I reached down to adjust my cock.
"Sorry," she said but didn't sound very apologetic. I laughed.
"Don't be...do it again."
Bella giggled before pushing her ass deeper into the curve of my lower stomach. This time, I thrust back against her and she moaned softly. I kissed the back of her head, breathing in her scent as we both found comfortable positions. After a minute, I pulled the afghan off the back of the couch and covered us when I noticed the goosebumps on her arm.
"Cold?"
"A little. Your AC blasts higher than mine."
I reached over my head to grab the remote off the side table.
"Take a nap, baby."
Bella yawned. "Okay."
I flicked on the TV and navigated to ESPN, listening to Bella's breathing evening out. It didn't take very long before my own eyes closed as well.
I woke with a start, disoriented. The TV blared in the background. There was no Bella lying in front of me. In my sleep-addled state, it took me a moment to realize what was going on, and part of me wondered if it had all been a dream. I sat up, looking around while I rubbed my eyes.
"Bella?"
No answer.
"Bella!" I called out again, a little louder.
My heart was pounding as I got off the couch, looking around the empty room. The noise from the TV was irritating. I grabbed the remote off the floor and shut it off, throwing the device down on the table.
"Goddamn it! It was just a fucking dream! Fuck!" I ran my hands over my face and into my hair, pulling the strands.
"A fucking dream..."
From the direction of my bedroom, I heard the toilet flush. My head whipped towards the sound. Something akin to relief flooded my insides as I made sense of the noise and my feet carried me to my room. I entered in a rush, the door slamming against the wall, just as she came out of the bathroom. She jerked, startled by my sudden entrance, and pressed her hand to her throat.
"Shit, Edward...you scared the crap out of me. I thought you were still sleeping."
I crossed the space between us swiftly and pulled her into my arms, needing to assure myself that she was real, that she was there, and I was basically just being stupid. She melted in my arms, wrapping herself around me.
"What is it?"
I shook my head, unable to form any coherent words, clutching her against me, breathing her in.
"Oh, sweetie, talk to me. What's going on?"
"I thought...I woke up alone and...I thought that...I had just fucking dreamed it all."
She put her hands on my face and looked into my eyes.
"I'm here...and I'm so sorry...but I'm here...okay? I just had to use the bathroom."
I choked a laugh, bending down to kiss her. "Yeah...you're here. You're finally here."
She returned my kiss with fervor, her hands grasping the sides of my face, flicking her tongue against my bottom lip. I opened with a groan, and stroked her tongue with mine for a moment before pulling back to stare into her eyes.
"Sorry. I guess I just freaked a little." I smiled a little sheepishly.
"It's okay," Bella replied, with a sad undertone in her voice. "I guess only time will help with that."
"I like the idea of more time with you."
She laughed nervously. "Yeah, well, you'll get your chance soon. We have to leave shortly to head back to my house. You sure you don't mind sharing me with James?"
"Not at all. He's part of the deal, right?"
Bella smiled. "Yeah."
"Well, then – I want the whole package."
She looked relieved, but didn't say anything else. I grinned at her, feeling optimistic about the future for the first time since high school.
"Let me just use the bathroom, and then we can head over to your place. Meet you in the front room?"
"Yeah, sure."
When I returned to the living room, Bella sat on the couch putting her sneakers on.
"Ready?" I held out my hand and she reached for it.
"Yep."
We arrived at her house and I parked the car by the curb. When we entered the house, I could hear excited yelling coming from upstairs.
"James," Bella hollered. "I'm home."
A herd of elephants stampeded down the stairs – well, at least it sounded that way. James skidded to a halt in front of his mother.
"Hey, Mom – I beat Uncle Seth four times on the DS. Oh hi, Coach – do you play Mario Kart? Wanna play with me?"
By that point, Seth had also reached the bottom of the stairs. He nodded at me, and I returned the silent greeting.
"I'm gonna head out, Bella – I'm meeting up with my buddies for a beer or five. I'll call you tomorrow about practice. Nice seeing you again, Edward. Bye, Bella."
"Oh. Okay. Sure. Thanks for keeping James this afternoon."
"No problem. Laters."
James ran with him to the door. "Bye, Uncle Seth – see you tomorrow."
"You bet, buddy." The door fell close behind him. James' excited chatter continued.
"So, Coach, wanna play? I got SuperMario Kart and SuperMario Galaxy on my DS and for the Wii – but the Wii is down here, and Mom doesn't let me play much. She says I get too loud. Silly, huh?"
He grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the TV as I looked helplessly at Bella.
"Can we, Mom?"
Bella seemed to have a hard time not laughing.
"Okay, but only until dinner. Have fun, you two. I'll be in the kitchen."
I turned my eyes to James, drawing on my experience with my nephew. "Okay, buddy, you're on. You are looking at the SuperMario champion. I'm gonna be hard to beat. Think you can do it?"
"Heck, yeah, Coach. I've been playing for a long time."
"I'm only your coach on the football field, James. How about here you call me Mr. Edward?"
"Sure. That's cool." He held up two of the Wii games. "So, which one?"
I pointed to the left one and he whirled around, expertly inserting the CD into the player. He handed me a remote and a nunchuck.
"Ready?"
"Game on, buddy."
We played until Bella called us for dinner, the kid kicking my ass the whole time. I sucked just as badly at the game as when I had played with Jasper. And I was surprised that I actually enjoyed spending time with this boy. He was a fun kid – open and straightforward, bouncing excitedly whenever he pushed my Wii character out of the way. Which was often, but I didn't mind.
"James, go wash your hands, please. It's time for dinner. You too, Edward."
"Yes, ma'am!" we both saluted, and James snickered all the way to the half-bath.
"My mom's cool, huh, Mr. Edward?"
I looked at him via the mirror and nodded. "I think so, buddy. I think she's very cool."
He beamed, his little body vibrating with pride.
"I think you're pretty cool, too," I added, punching his shoulder playfully. "You play an awesome Mario game."
He wiped his hands on the towel.
"She cooks good, too," he said as if on an after-thought.
"Well, I guess we should head to the kitchen, then. I'm a little hungry, how about you?"
"Mmmm-mmm. It's spaghetti and meatballs night on Sundays. And she always makes garlic bread. That's my favorite."
"Sounds good, kid. Lead the way."
We sat down around the kitchen table. Bella filled our plates and we dug in. James chattered away about practice the next day when my cell phone rang.
I pulled it out of my pocket, shooting an apologetic glance at Bella before looking at the screen.
Oh, shit.
Rose.
Well, fuck. This ain't gonna be good.
I had a pretty good idea why she was calling – I usually had dinner at her house on Sunday nights, and I had forgotten to let her know that I wouldn't be there.
I could only imagine what she would say when she found out where I was.
"It's my sister. I think I'd better take this...outside."
End Note: Wow - you've made it all the way to the end. Thank you for reading. Please leave a review. And Merry Christmas to you and yours.