Chapter 3

At Parappa's house, the posse was busy counting their money. They had their money being delivered in suitcases, from a huge truck. Two men in suits, one a grizzly bear and the other a squirrel, carried the suitcases inside.

"What are you guys planning to do with the excess money?" Parappa asked everyone.

"Well, I would want to get a new bass guitar," Katy replied.

"What, your guitar wasn't good enough? I thought that your guitar sounded well at the concert," PJ said.

"No, because it's broken," Katy said.

"Well, I would want to get a year's supply of hamburgers," PJ said, as he reached behind him to acquire a burger.

"Why keep it all to yourself? That year's supply would be used to solve world hunger!" Sunny said.

"Not to mention that once you get those, you won't fit out of the front door," Ma-San said, laughing.

Everyone started laughing at the statement. Milkcan, PJ, Parappa and Sunny were all at the living room. They finally found the money needed to cover the damages. However, something seemed wrong to Lammy. In the midst of the laughter, her ears perked up and she moved beside the door, listening for something.

"What's wrong, Lam-" Parappa began.

"Shhh!" she replied. Everyone was confused at the sight of this. Lammy wasn't known as one who seemed to be eavesdropping on anyone.

She heard the two men who brought the money in talking.

"Did you remember to put that thing in?" the bear said.

"Yes, I did. All they have to do is open the case and, kaboom." the squirrel said. They two did a special handshake as they went into their van and drove off.

Kaboom? In one of the suitcases? That would mean that one of them is a bomb! She looked over to see PJ opening a suitcase that looked suspicious, with a red line over it.

"Don't open that, PJ!" Lammy yelled, just saving everyone's lives right there and then. Everyone then looked at the suitcase, not noticing anything wrong with it.

"What's going on? What's going on? You're really scared!" Parappa said.

"You should be scared! Close the suitcase or whatever, right now! Right now!" Lammy replied. PJ finally did what he was told and closed the suitcase. Lammy breathed a sigh of relief.

"Why did you want him to close the briefcase?" Katy asked. After she asked, beeping started to be heard from the case. Lammy ran to the case and threw it out of the window.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing-" Parappa began. His question was answered a second later, when the suitcase exploded in midair. Everyone ducked out of surprise.

The gang witnessed an attempted murder. One of the suitcases was sabotaged. At least one, anyway. They didn't want to open any more cases, as each one could lead them all closer to their demises. Everyone was quiet, taking all of this in. Then, after a while, Ma-San wisecracked, "Wow, Lammy, this might be your first time being on time for something! And it saved our lives! Things are looking up indeed!"

"Not really, since that we can't sue them for attempted murder, since that they did this when we charged them money," Parappa said. The usually-optimistic rapdog was feeling a bit downcast from the event.

"Even more bad news, all the bills we have out on the table is counterfeited! None of them are legit!" Katy noted.

"Aw, man!" everyone else said. This was all too good. First, there was a possibility that explosive suitcases were in Parappa's household, and none of the bills they could extract safely could be used legally.

"How am I going to pay off the hospital bill, AND the costs of getting a new Milkvan?" Parappa asked his company. This left them in a hard pondering state. He couldn't sell items at Prince Fleaswallow's Flea Market, since Fleaswallow was arrested for drug accusations. Working at Beard Burger wouldn't earn him enough money in time for the bills to be paid. He probably could have worked at Hairdresser Octopus' place, but he didn't trust the way he acted the last time they met. If the octopus could go crazy because of a simple stereo playing, there's no telling what else he could go crazy on.

"Yeah, I know, I gotta-"

DING DONG! Parappa's doorbell sounded. He looked back at the others, knowing what had almost just happened to his crew. He wasn't going to let this next encounter be explosive like last time.

"Time to get out our weapons of mass destruction," Parappa said. Everyone gasped except for Ma-San, who had sort of an evil grin.

. . .

"Yeah, real weapons of mass destruction, all right!" Ma-San said, before blowing a raspberry. "Why do we have these things on, again?"

"It's better than nothing. All right, guys, prepare for war!" Parappa said. He, PJ and Milkcan were clad with pillows and pieces of furniture as armor, and used various sporting equipment like baseball bats and golf clubs as weapons. They all gathered around the front door. Parappa opened it and prepared for the worst.

"YOU SHALL NOT...Oh, hey, Jonathan. I have a package?" Parappa said, feeling a bit awkward for his display.

"Um, yeah, this is just your paycheck from your rap album and concert this month. Am I, uh, interrupting something?" the messenger inquired. He was a porcupine who worked as a mailman. He found everyone dressed up in tacky costumes.

"Oh, no you weren't. Thanks, bro." Parappa said as he closed the door, wanting to reduce the awkwardness in the situation. He took his package and shook it, trying to check to see if it was explosive. All he could hear was a paper inside the envelope.

"I think this might be it, guys. Let's see how much this town supports us..." Parappa said. He opened the envelope painstakingly, really not wanting to blow up. Fortunately, nobody blew up when the package was opened. But, instead he found a paycheck for $20,493.

"Holy cow! This is just enough for all of us, the van, AND to pay off Prosecutor Knight! I love this town! Guys, let's all go to the bank to make it rain!" Parappa said. He made his way toward his car to drive to the bank. The rest of the gang didn't even move.

"Why is everyone staring at me?" Parappa asked.

"Uh, you want us to go outside with this junk on?" Katy asked.

"Oh, yeah. Forgot about that."

After taking off their pillows and disarming themselves, they started walking towards Parappa's car.

"Wait a second," Parappa said, as he pushed the alarm button on his car keys. The headlights lit up, and surprisingly, the hood opened. This caused alarm in everyone. Then, beeping came from the car. It became faster and faster as everyone hit the dirt, preparing for an explosion.

"BANG!"

For some reason, there was no explosion, just a voice recording of someone saying "bang." The voice sounded a bit familiar to the group. Parappa tentatively walked toward his car to investigate. Every step, he thought, was getting closer to his demise. He looked inside his hood to find...

A tape recorder and a note. Parappa picked up the note.

"You know me. I know you. We're watching you. We will find you and kill you. If you know what's good for you and your friends, you will be run out of town. -TCOC," the note read.

"TCOC? Who is that?" Parappa said. "Hey, guys, it's all clear. There's no bomb on the car."

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. They all went into Parappa's car to go to the bank.

. . .

When they pulled into the parking lot, everyone wanted to check on their bank accounts. Ma-San did, too. But, she stayed in the car upon Katy's request. "You're the strongest of the rest of us, Ma-San. Stay here in case somebody tries to sabotage the car."

"Yeah, but Parappa is the one trained in karate. I think he should stay..." Ma-San complained.

Everyone stepped into the bank, pumped to make transactions. In the parking lot sat two familiar figures, dressed in black suits and skull caps. They were armed with revolvers on their sides. They sat in a white supply van with the Rodney County Bank logo on it. Nothing out of the ordinary, right?

"Okay, Bone, it's showtime." one of them said.

. . .

"Welcome to Rodney County Bank, how may we be of serv-Oh, hey, Parappa! Haven't seen you in a while," the banker said. She was a redheaded human in a trench coat.

"What do you mean, haven't seen me in a while? I was here last week, Sally!" Parappa said.

"So, how is everyone here today after that accident? That was one nasty crash two weeks ago. Hope the injuries aren't lasting long..."

"We're just fine, Sally. Anyway, I'd like to turn in a check for cash."

"Okay, what is your credit card number?"

Parappa went over the procedures and turned in the check. Sally looked at the check with total surprise for a little bit. Then, she shook herself out of her stupor and sent the check to a back room.

During this, everyone went to other bankers to check on their financial statuses. Except for PJ, who went to the nearest vending machine.

Parappa then found something odd. He had turned in checks like these all the time. The time it took to process this transaction was a bit longer than usual. Out of curiosity, he looked at Sally to see what she was doing. She dialed numbers on a phone and started talking. His canine ears were a bit far away to get a clear understanding of the verbal messages, but he picked up something.

"...it came around...they're all here...ready for it...practiced this all week..."

He had no idea what it was supposed to mean. Maybe it was cryptic talk among accountants. He didn't know anything about bank speak.

Finally, the money came in and Parappa was all set to go. When he turned around to head for the exit, he didn't find any of his friends. They were all still making transactions there. And, the place had multiple stories. They could be anywhere.

Then, the two figures in black stormed into the bank. "This is a freakin' stick up! No one moves, no one dies!" one of them shouted. Hysteria filled the bank. Everyone started screaming, submitting themselves to them. Everyone except...Parappa.

"Bone, you take point upstairs. I got this floor. And I got this, abomination right here," one of them said, pointing his revolver at Parappa, moving closer to him. Parappa frowned, mainly because he didn't feel happy about being held at gunpoint. But, as the perpetrator got closer to him, he realized that this was one of the guys involved in the car accident.

"It's you," Parappa said.

"Yeah, you know me. You screwed us out of all that money during that lawsuit. And, I got word that you just turned in a check. Your pockets are fat with cash, punk. If you just gave me your money, nobody will die. Not today, anyway. So, what's it gonna be?"

Leaf was now a foot away from Parappa. Parappa's mind was going at a hundred miles an hour. He needed to do something quickly. If he messed up one thing, he would find a bullet inside him.

"I'm sorry that I cost you counterfeit money and a bomb, Phil. They have Monopoly and cheap materials for those, you know."

Leaf swung his revolver and hit Parappa on his temple, leaving a bleeding mark on him.

"Give me your crap!"

"You want my crap? Then go to the sewers, you jerk! You're not getting any of my money!" Parappa replied.

Leaf pointed the gun at Parappa again and was about to shoot. Parappa then remembered his training from Chop Chop Master Onion.

"Kick, punch, it's all in the mind!" he said, kicking the gun away from his hand as it shot, punching him in the gut, and headbutting him. Leaf lay unconscious. Parappa caught the gun after he kicked it and walked up the stairs.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Oh, no! I gotta go fast! Parappa thought as he climbed the staircase. Three gunshots were fired. He didn't even know who was killed, but he didn't care. He needed to stop the shooter as soon as possible.

When he was on the second floor, he found another mook wanting to attack him. He didn't have a firearm on him, but he had a baseball bat. He swung the bat, barely missing him as Parappa slid under the bat, but he knocked off his beanie. Parappa kicked him down the stairs and grabbed his beanie. "Nobody touches the goods," he said.

After putting his beanie back on, he rushed towards Bone. He had no idea where he could be. Then, he had an idea. He sniffed out the area to look for him. He frantically smelled for Bone's scent, but with him being a skeleton, he didn't have much of a scent.

No, no, no, no! Think, Parappa. Where would a robber go to if he stuck up a bank? After quick thinking, he gasped, The vault!

He ran towards the vault in the bank. When it was within plain sight, he hid behind a corner to make sure that no mooks saw him. After counting to three, he jumped out of cover. He was then immediately run over by Bone, who had all of the bank's money in his large military style backpack.

Bone then lay on top of Parappa, not knowing who he just hit. After realizing who it was, he tried yanking the revolver away from Parappa's hand. Nobody had a clear grip on the gun, but Bone had it pointed at Parappa's face. Parappa quickly jerked the gun away from his face as soon as it shot, the bullet hitting his beanie. His sensitive dog ears were hurt at the loud sound of the gunshot. He shoved Bone away to get a clear shot on him.

Bone started running away with all of the cash, but then turned around to fire his gun at Parappa.

BLAM! BLAM!

Parappa dodged the two bullets as he picked up the gun and ran behind a vacant desk. He waited until he heard Bone running down the stairs until he started shooting as well. Parappa pulled the trigger.

CLICK!

"No, it can't be out of bullets!" Parappa said. He had very little knowledge of guns, except that they had limited bullets and that they can be used to kill people. He then remembered, It's a revolver. I have to pull the thing back...He cocked it back. Yeah...

Parappa started to give chase to Bone, who was almost at the door. He was about to run down the stairs, when he lost his balance from running too fast. He started falling horizontally, like something in a John Woo movie. He aimed his gun while in midair and shot at Bone.

The bullet penetrated through his clavicle, which slowed him down. He was now in the foyer of the bank. Parappa cocked the gun back to shoot in midair again, but he hit the ground as he shot. The bullet closely missed.

Dang it, now my ribs hurt again! Parappa thought. But, he still gave chase to the criminals. They were all in the supply van now. They started driving off, with Bone in the shotgun seat, holding, nonetheless, a shotgun. He fired at Parappa, missing him, but he felt the pellets whiz by his head, and all of them hit his beanie. It lay on the ground again.

Parappa had one more chance left to stop the perpetrators. He tried firing it at one of the van's tires, but his accuracy at over thirty yards made it so that the bullet only hit the bumper. No real damage was made to it.

Ma-San, witnessing all of this, got out of his car in shock.

"Holy cow, Parappa! Never thought that you would take the dangerous lifestyle."

"That's not important, Ma-San. We need to find the others right now!" Parappa said as he ran back inside the bank. Ma-San followed.

He had no idea if they were being held at gunpoint or not. As he walked in, he realized that he didn't know anything about their current locations. So, he resorted to something he didn't want to do in front of his company, much less Ma-San, since she was likely to tease him about it.

He started sniffing the area for them.

"What are you doing?" Ma-San said.

"I'm looking for them. You have knowledge of what Katy and Lammy would do with their bank accounts. I'll look for PJ and Sunny."

The two split up and attempted to find their friends. Parappa smelled the area to try to find Sunny. Her being a flower and all, it was hard to mistake her aroma with anyone else's. He walked until he found her at the ATM.

"Sunny! It's safe now," Parappa said. Sunny, relieved at the sight of her boyfriend, quickly embraced him.

"Thank goodness you're all right! How did you find me?"

"Um, wild guess, but where's PJ?"

"I don't know. The last place I saw him was at the vending machine, same as always."

Think again, Parappa. You've known PJ for ten years. Where exactly would he be because of his overall appetite, personality and intellect during a time of crisis? Then, he figured it out. He went to the one room where PJ would go to in a bank.

He opened the door and charged inside, running over him. He found PJ in the bathroom.

"Dang, that's the second running-over I've been involved in today," Parappa said, getting up.

"What? What'd I miss?" PJ asked.

"I'll explain later. Come on, let's reassemble with the rest of the guys."

The group reassembled at the foyer, asking each other about what everyone else did during the robbery. Parappa, not wanting to be a braggart, explained what he did:

"I, uh, shot one of the guys on the robbery and knocked out another."

"WHAT?!" everyone but Ma-San said. She wasn't really surprised at the shooting part. But, nobody else could imagine Parappa actually having the nerve of knocking anyone out. Or shooting anyone. He seemed too friendly for that.

"What happened to your hat?" Lammy said. Parappa reached for his head, but it wasn't there. It was still outside.

"Well, we're all here. That's the important thing, right? And, I think we've all had enough craziness for now. Let's all go home, shall we?" Katy said.

They all began to leave when Parappa heard an accountant crying. He also heard her speak, "They took all of our money...What are we going to do about the end of the month expenses?"

He also realized that he had over twenty grand in his pockets, as well as a .44 revolver. His next decision would be between the smart thing to do and the right thing to do.

Parappa walked up to the accountant and emptied his pockets of all currency. He laid the money on the front desk.

"Here, take it. This should help you."

Katy noticed him and said, "Parappa, what are you doing?"

"Face it Katy, this place was really robbed because I was here. These guys want to kill me more than anyone else in the bank. I just decided it was a nice thing to do for the community."

Katy admired his act of courage and walked out with him. Then, Sunny found Parappa's beanie on the sidewalk. It was completely ruined after being shot with a revolver and a shotgun.

"Dang, they have no respect for the goods," Parappa complained. He slammed his beanie down. He would have to get a new one.

Then, Ma-San remembered something and said, "Wait, STOP!" She jumped in front of everyone else.

"What's going on, Ma-San?" Lammy said.

"If I remember correctly, they said something about eight o'clock and the car being blown up." Ma-San said.

"What time is it now?" Parappa asked.

BOOM! The car went up into a fiery inferno, blowing back Ma-San a bit, but not injuring her.

"Well, that answers your question, doesn't it?" Ma-San replied sarcastically.

"Great. Now how are we going to get home? It's already too dangerous to walk home, we don't have enough money to get a cab for all of us. What do we do?" Sunny asked.

"Well, some of us have money, right? And cell phones. I suggest we all get separate groups per cab. I'll have to go by myself."

"Why?" Sunny inquired.

"If Joe's mooks catch me in a cab, with any of you, I'd be putting you in danger. I'll walk alone."

Sunny, saddened by the fact that her boyfriend wouldn't be riding home with her, gave him a farewell hug before eventually leaving.

Parappa was alone at around 9:30. He began his trek on foot for a few minutes before he was offered a ride by someone driving a food supply truck. It was free, and the guy didn't seem suspicious, so he accepted the offer. He climbed up to the passenger seat.

"So, you must be Parappa. I've heard of your name everywhere I go to. You're a musician, correct?"

"Yeah."

"Ah. I've also seen you on the news. Quite a collision it was! You don't know how lucky you were to have survived. I haven't seen destruction that bad since I was in the army," the truck driver said.

Parappa really didn't care about the truck driver's war stories. He had only known him for a total of ten minutes now. What was really strange is that he didn't even ask him for any directions.

"But, you haven't even seen real destruction. And, no, I'm not talking about just physical destruction, I'm talking total psychological carnage. All of this will happen to you and more. So, what I'm going to do is take you to the Charlatan's house to make sure you regret what you did."

"The Charlatan? Who are you referring to?" Parappa asked.

"You'll find out eventually," the driver said as he pulled out a revolver. Oh, come on! Parappa thought. He tried opening the door, but the driver had it locked. There was no way for him to get out.

At gunpoint, Parappa rode in the truck, quickly thinking about how he would escape. He didn't know who the Charlatan was. But, since this guy was holding a gun to his head, he probably didn't even want to know.

He then saw a huge mansion, made almost entirely out of gold. The Charlatan's place, Parappa assumed. He needed to make his move fast. He had been preparing it ever since he saw the driver pull out his weapon.

Parappa quickly grabbed the gun and pointed it to the car's ceiling. As he predicted, the shot rang out. He then yanked it out of the driver's hand and opened the car door. He jumped out and shot the driver in the head. After barrel rolling on the hard cement, he witnessed the truck speeding towards the mansion and colliding into it. A large gaping hole was on the side of the mansion.

Parappa dusted himself off and started running away from the scene. He jumped out about one hundred yards away from the mansion, but he didn't want to find out if there were snipers near the building. He ran for a good half mile before he started walking home, in the perilous environment of night in the city.