Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien, save for the characters and plot goodies not in his works. ;)
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
~Just Give Me A Reason, Pink
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
T.A. 2858
59 years later . . .
Nuil held the letter in her hands tightly as she reread it for what felt to be the thousandth time. The edges were well worn from constant folding and refolding. The ink was slightly faded from the many times it was exposed to the bright sun. She sighed, a smile lighting her face as her gaze slid over the words with familiar ease.
It was in Khuzdul, which was no problem for her to read. But it was from a childhood friend that she had been wanting to see for many years now.
It was from Dis.
She had married, and was with child. What marvelous news! Dis had specifically asked her to be there for the birth. Well, more demanded than asked. And who was she to deny an invitation when presented? It was the reason she was on the western border of the Shire, reading the letter yet again beside the crackling fire. Nuil had meant to journey to the Blue Mountains sooner, but her duty to the Shire had kept her away.
Then there were her brothers.
They still worried about her. Worried about her restless, nightmare filled dreams. They were terrible enough to wake them from their sleep and come crashing to her room. Nuil had taken to sleeping outdoors, to help ease them. It seemed that sleeping outdoors, with the threat of being found by something, that her dreams were more bearable, and less noisy.
Hopefully she could keep her sleepless nights a secret from Dis and Thorin. She had been getting better at not screaming out . . . Nuil placed a hand over her heart, frowning at how her heart pounded when she even thought of Thorin. Such behavior was . . . odd to her. Shaking her head, Nuil folded the letter back and placed it in the collar of her jerkin. Besides, if things had sorted themselves out, he would be wed to Rana by now. Nuil wondered if he ever found out about her late night tryst with Dain. She sighed through her nose, still upset that she never had the chance to tell him . . . or say goodbye.
Laying down, she shut her eyes, waiting for the restless sleep she knew she would have.
It was terribly bright as she came to the Blue Mountains. The great rising rock, lived up to its name, hinted with blue until it disappeared above the clouds. The crevices were filled with dark green mosses, and small bushes dotted the mountainside. Nuil adjusted her pack and trudged up the road. She was slightly wary of how she would be received. Dwarves were not known to be welcoming to strangers.
She knew this from her dealings with them after Erebor. Many were horrified that she even knew Khuzdul, a language only taught to dwarves.
Before her lay the fortress, nestled into the mountain. Its walls rose into the air surrounding the stone houses inside and protecting the inner keep that lay within the mountain. It was within that mountain where Dis lived. She was passed by dwarrow moving about their business, coming or leaving the market within the keeps wall. They gave her subtle stares as she passed them. Nuil knew she looked filthy, but that was traveling and she couldn't help how she looked. Belatedly she also realized that they were staring because she didn't have a beard.
The gates were open, guarded by two dwarves. They raised their axes menacingly as she approached, and she slowed her pace, coming to a stop before them. Nuil rested her hand on the pommel of her sword beneath her cloak.
"Halt! What is your business here stranger!"
Nuil pulled a sealed letter from her pocket, holding it out to the guard who had spoken.
"I am friend to Lady Dis, daughter of Thrain. This is a letter from her advocating my stay here," she said in a firm voice that left no room for argument. The dwarves glanced at each other, and then one reached for the letter. He broke the seal slowly reading the contents of the letter. Nuil did not know what Dis had written in the letter, it had arrived along with Dis's letter. She watched as the dwarf lowered the letter and looked at her with awe.
"My apologies, Lady Nuil. I knew not that you were our Lady's companion," he said almost reverently.
" . . . speak nothing of it," she replied, playing along with whatever Dis had written. She hoped it was nothing too flamboyant. Both bowed to her, allowing her into the keep. She made her way down the one lone street that was packed to the brim with vendors and the hustle and bustle of trade. She received more stares, but also calls from the merchants wanting her to buy something. Nuil nodded politely to them but continued on towards the gates leading into the mountain. She was met with another set of dwarf guards, they read the letter, and she passed unhindered into the mountain.
Nuil relaxed the moment she entered the cool darkness, surrounded by the old familiar torchlight, and rare beams of light falling from windows carved into the stone from high above her.
The lone tunnel soon opened into a large hall, brightly lit and filled with vendors stalls, much like the market outside. They was no stalls filled with gold nor jewels like in Erebor. But there were dwarrow doing their business, some dressed finely, but most dressed in plain cloth. There were only dwarrow here, unlike outside where she had seen a few men, hunters and rangers. Nuil smiled slightly at the familiar sight and glanced down to Dis's letter.
Dis had given instructions on where she lived. It was the royal mansion within Ered Luin. Placed at the height of the dwarven city, deepest in the mountain. Nuil wound her way through the stalls and deeper into the city. Nuil marveled at the stone work, solid, and carved with the careful craftsmanship of a stone master. There was no gold inlaid into the stone, but it was beautiful nonetheless. There were scenes of dwarven history also, chiseled carefully alongside the elaborate lines and runes. She wanted to reach out and touch them, in reverent awe, but kept her hands firmly at her sides. There was just something about dwarven stonework that demanded reverence. Not something to be touched, but admired. Sacred.
The mansion was easy enough to find. The front door was carved with painstaking detail, mountains and symbols of wealth, covering its face. The runes along the thick wood were dwarven; reading the members of the house. The windows were lit, shrouded in red curtains and high above the floor she stood on. Ascending the stone steps, Nuil raised her hand and knocked.
The pounding of her hand on the fine wood door echoed from within. Nuil stood patiently. If she had to wait she could. After traveling six months, she could wait, all day if needed. But she didn't have to. A latch on the other side clicked and the door swung open to reveal a golden haired dwarf.
He looked her up and down, a frown alighting his agreeable features.
"What is your business here?" his tone was obviously wary. His brown eyes watched her warily.
"I am a friend of Lady Dis."
He stared expectantly at her.
"I am called Nuil, daughter of Nolen, at your service," she added quickly with a bow.
Instantly the dwarf smiled at her, a bright and wide smile that almost made her take a step back. He was suddenly very warm and kind looking. His brown eyes lit up with happiness and, dare she say, relief?
"I have heard much of you, Lady Nuil. I am Eurig, son of Euril. I am husband to Dis," said the dwarf, Eurig. Nuil felt the corners of her mouth curve upwards. So this was the dwarf who had stolen Dis's heart.
"I have also heard of you from her letter," she replied, warming up to the dwarf. Eurig laughed, embracing her, much to her surprise. Eurig pulled her in and shut the door behind them. There were stairs that they climbed just inside the door leading up to a main living area.
"I am glad you have come, Lady Nuil,"Eurig told her as they went up. "My wife has all but given up that you would come."
"I apologize for my lateness, I traveled by foot," she told him. Nuil had indeed had a mount to ride, but the stupid animal had bolted one night. Luckily her pack was not tied to the saddle.
"Nuil!" cried the familiar voice of Dis, once they had reached the top of the stairs. Dis lay on a sofa, her legs draped with a blanket. She looked lovely, her dark hair curled and braided, wearing a fine blue gown. But also heavily pregnant. So very much older than the girl she had remembered.
"Dis!" Nuil exclaimed rushing forward. She bent down and embraced her friend, laughing. She felt so light, and happy now! It was only suddenly that Nuil realized she had missed Dis more than she could even fathom. At the same time one of her greatest wishes had also been done, she was finally with Dis. When she pulled away she said, "you look well!"
Dis scoffed and rolled her eyes, "You are worse than Eurig."
Nuil sat on the edge of the sofa, gazing at Dis and her swollen belly. "How far along?"
"Many months," Dis huffed, "I am sure he will come shortly after Durin's Day."
Nuil raised a brow. "He?"
"What else?" Dis asked, almost seeming shocked that it would be anything other than a son. "There must be an heir to the line of Durin, especially now that Thorin is King."
Nuil had forgotten about that. Thorin was king now. There went her heart again, fluttering like a startled bird. She frowned, hand moving to her heart. It was beginning to be tiresome. She was still- well she didn't know how to describe it. Her thoughts often turned to Thorin and Frerin. This stuttering of her heart hurt. She wanted it to stop, but it wouldn't. Dis watched her, a smile slowly forming on her lips.
"How are you?" she asked. "Your brothers? I know you have been getting around, there are rumors of a wandering woman guarding the borders of the Shire . . ."
"Those are only rumors," Nuil told her.
"Yes, but with a dwarven blade?" Eurig added, beaming as he sat in a chair opposite the two females. Nuil sighed, looking at Dis.
"Many years of watchfulness, nothing more," she said. In truth, nothing had happened to her since Azanulbizar . . . She mostly wandered the borders of the Shire, cutting down the few orcs she found and bandits preying on the Shire-folk. Nuil had even regained most of the use of her injured arm.
Dis hummed, eying her carefully. Then she sighed, smiling once more. "I had despaired of you reaching Ered Luin in time for the birth, but now that you are here," she grinned coyly, "I would like you to be my sons godmother."
"Dis-"
"It's settled then!" Dis cut in beaming. Nuil rolled her eyes. "Aunt Nuil, you shall be."
"I was not going to say 'no'."
Dis just smiled demurely, before looking to her husband. "I think we should show Nuil to her room." With that Dis began to rise to her feet, accepting the arm that Eurig offered her when he rose to help her. Nuil gaped at them as they began down the hall.
"My room?" she echoed.
"Why, of course," Eurig said over his shoulder as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "We have had it ready the day Dis sent your summons."
Nuil could only numbly follow the pair, admiring the stone murals along the hallway, and frown at the two as they bent their heads together in hushed whispers. She could only wonder what the two were saying, no doubt conspiring together. When they stopped it was at a door at the end of the hall. Eurig opened the wood door and gestured for her to enter. Casting the two suspicious looks she entered the room.
It was sparsely furnished, with a simple bed and night table. Along one wall was a simple wardrobe and chest. At the small hearth was a rocking chair. But the bed had thick inviting looking blankets, carefully embroidered. The floor was covered in a thick looking fur pelt.
"It isn't much," Dis said somewhat uncomfortably after a long silence, "but it is plenty."
Nuil understood that Dis was embarrassed. She was a Princess, and was used to having much more finery. But it was what Nuil liked about it. She enjoyed the simple things. "It is wonderful," she smiled. "More than enough."
Dis smiled appreciatively to her. Then she sighed. "Well. We better let you get ready for supper, everyone will be home tonight."
Before Nuil had a chance to question as to who was being home, the pair were gone. Nuil tilted her head to the side and shut the door. They were an odd couple, but they suited each other just fine. She was happy for Dis. Yet why did she feel like she was missing something? Why did her chest twinge painfully when she thought of how happy Dis and Eurig looked together?
Nuil sighed, moving to the wardrobe, finding a simple green dress hanging within. It was fine, just like the ones she had worn in Erebor as a young girl. Turning away she went to the basin on the night table.
Nuil knew that she wasn't like Dis. She couldn't be like Dis. Her life had been too hard and painful at a young age. Nor was she royalty, her life was one of roaming. But it would be a lie if she did not admit that she longed for the comforts of a home, a family of her own. Only now at one-hundred and two winters did she understand what her mother had tried to teach her.
She could always stay home in Arnor, while her brothers did their duties. But her pride wouldn't allow that. She was a daughter of Nolen. There was no exemption for her.
After Nuil had washed the grit of the road off her skin, she pulled on the green dress. With a frown she pulled the laces tighter. She was much too thin for her own liking. Leaving her hair down, which was a rarity for her, Nuil went to the door. However she paused upon seeing her reflexion in the small mirror on the wall. A hand rose to touch the scar running along the side of her face, faded and pale. Unnoticeable almost.
She looked pretty, she deemed. Nuil scowled at herself at such a vain thought.
Nuil turned entering the hallway and shutting the door. It took little time to find the dining hall. The room was at the end of the hall, just of the main living area. It was much smaller than the one in Erebor. She gazed around at the walls, carved also with intricate designs and hung with a few tapestries. A long table filled the space, empty of any occupants. She was quite alone.
Unsure of where to sit, Nuil opted to look around the room. The walls depicted scenes from battles and feasts, each character carved carefully with the uttermost detail. The weaving on the tapestries was slightly faded, and if she peered close enough she could see a glimmer of gold woven in with the strands. Her heart leaped at the sight, and the urge to reach out and touch it was near overwhelming. Just as her fingers ghosted over the tapestry she pulled back as if stung.
The sound of heavy footsteps hitting the floor drew her attention away from the walls and tapestry. She stood carefully still, waiting as a dwarf entered the room. She expected this to be a guest she did not know, but she was happily proved wrong when she lifted her gaze.
"Balin!" she cried, a smile easily spreading on her face. The dwarf paused and gazed at her a moment before realization dawned on his features. He was no longer gray haired, white now speckled his loose mane.
"Nuil, lass! What a pleasure to see you again! Left without so much as a goodbye or well wish. You had many of us worried," his tone was full of reprimanding. She assumed he meant their last encounter with one another. Nuil smiled sheepishly.
"I apologize, but Nedoheen wished us away."
"That is fine, lassie," Balin replied, he stepped forward and embraced her. "We're glad to have you back."
Nuil grinned. Balin gestured toward the table. "Seeing as we are both early, we get first pick of seating. I assume you will be sitting near Lady Dis." He pulled the second chair down from the head of the table out. "I will be sitting next to Thorin, should he ever show." His gaze turned to the chair with amusement and exasperation.
There it went again, her fluttering heart.
Was he wed by now? Did he have his own little dwarflings running about? Would she have to see Rana? Nuil shuddered at the thought.
"Is he busy much, of late?" she asked curiously.
Balin nodded, going to take his seat. "Aye. Kingly duties take up much of his time. Though, since we have finished much of the main building of Ered Luin, he has more time for himself. There are still duties with land and work that must be tended to, but less so nowadays."
"I see."
"And what about you lassie? What has been keeping you these many years?"
"Duties mostly," Nuil said, folding her hands neatly in her lap. "I protect the border of the Shire with my brothers."
"Why is that?" Balin asked. "What makes the Shire so important that you must protect it?"
Nuil paused, tilting her head to the side in thought. She had never asked the question herself, nor really wondered why. It was just done. It was her duty and she didn't question it. She stared at Balin for a moment before coming up with an answer.
"I suppose, because it is so peaceful," she said quietly. "There is a peace there that I have not found anywhere else."
Balin sat back in his chair, kindness in his eyes. Then they moved to something past her shoulders. Nuil wondered if she had not given him the answer he wanted, but pushed the thought away. It was what she believed. Nothing he thought would ever make her change it. She was her own person, and her life was hers to live.
"That is noble of you, lassie," Balin said, eyes still fixed beyond her. Then he nodded, a dip of the head meant for greeting someone with respect. Brow furrowing, Nuil turned in her seat, feeling her spine straighten as her hazel eyes landed on the dwarf in the doorway.
She sucked in a sharp breath through her nose.
Thorin stood in the doorway, hands clasped behind his back as he looked at her, his blue eyes meeting her hazel ones. Nuil felt her heart begin to pound. He wore thick robes of deep blue, finely embroidered with silver. His hair was well groomed, two long braids framing his face. She could see a hint of gray in his hair, near his temples, but not much.
Slowly she rose to her feet, picking up her skirts and dropping into a low curtsy.
"Lord Thorin Oakenshield," she murmured, before rising.
Whew! Sorry for the wait, I've had this chapter ready since Monday but I've spent the last three days at band camp all day. That and I've been reading all the other fanfictions out there for the Hobbit . . . there are some really good ones, it's hard to not be a little intimidated! So yeah, but I leave ya'll with a cliffhanger of sorts. HAHA!
Don't worry, I'll get to what happened to Thorin and Rana. :) Besides, major fluff coming up with baby Fili and Kili, I'm sooo excited! And a sort of Thorin POV next chapter.
HOLY COW! So many reviews! I love you guys! Thank you!: MoonCrown, Comics4theFeels, ZabuzasGirl, Chilled Souls of the Forgotten (lol, I didn't see it at first! Sorry about that!), The Penned Tekrid, KingofTruands, and the two Guest reviews!
I've been thinking I might to a little oneshot with Frerin in another story (I think I'm in love with him) because I can't get him out of my head, and you all loved him so much. I'll see what spews out of my fingertips.
Read and Review!
~filimeala