Disclaimer: everything belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien save for the characters and events not in his works!

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

~Plato

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

T.A. 2860

Nuil bounced Fili on her knee as he gurgled happily. His fist was currently jammed into his mouth, as his tiny feet kicked out every time he bounced. He was by no means light. Dwarven babies were built like their older counterparts, yet younger and a little more beardless.

Fili's head sported a lovely mop of tangled blond hair, just like his father. Dis had braided part of it away from the his face to keep him from sucking on it like he usually did. Fili had a habit of putting things into his mouth. Nuil had learned early on to keep her hands away from Fili's mouth. Though he had no teeth, the boy still had a mean bite.

Dis looked over at her, an amused look in her eyes. She turned her gaze back to her needlework. As Fili gave another squeal she gave an amused snort.

"I think he likes you more than I," she murmured.

"Nonsense," Nuil said peering down at the golden head. "Fili loves his mother."

"He rarely is fussy when with you."

Dis was right. Fili rarely was fussy when in her arms. It was very amusing to see his mother and father struggle with him when he was in a fussy mood. It was almost as if Fili deliberately did this. With Thorin, Fili never made a sound. It was almost as if he knew who he was being held by, what his presence demanded. It was actually really cute. Thorin and Fili would even have little staring contests, and though he adamantly denied it, Thorin was amused by the little lad.

"Aye, but maybe he enjoys rattling your nerves," Nuil told Dis with a grin. Dis pointed her needle threateningly at her.

"You are rattling my nerves, friend," she said with a small smile.

The two fell silent, as Fili continued to gurgle and squeal. Until finally Dis spoke again, her tone carefully guarded. She was slightly worried, and could not help but to express it to the one friend who she could always trust.

"Do you not think that Eurig should have returned by now?"

Nuil frowned, catching Dis's tone immediately. "It is only that he is a day late. There are many things that can set a traveler back. Weather, the terrain, even those on the road."

"Orcs."

"Aye," Nuil nodded knowingly. "He may have taken a route to avoid such creatures. One that requires more time to take. Don't worry, I'm sure Eurig is fine."

"I only worry for my husband," Dis said, sadness lingering in her eyes. "I knew he was a traveler, when I met him. He does it less, but still- I worry."

"I do the same when my brothers travel as well."

Dis gave a laughing snort. "Not I. Thorin can take care of himself. I am sure that if he met an army, he would emerge victorious."

"Fate may have other plans," Nuil hummed negatively. Fili took his fist from his mouth, waving it in the air as small nonsense spluttered from his mouth.

Dis sighed. "That is true. Have you seen him?"

"Thorin? No. Not really since this little one entered our lives," Nuil said tickling Fili's soft pink feet. He screamed with delight, bouncing more energetically on her lap. "I have only seen him in passing, and that is rare."

"They are opening a new mine," Dis explained looking towards the door, with an anticipatory gaze. "It takes much planning, and time. There are dangers that must be addressed."

"I had heard news of that. A mine to search for more gold within the mountain."

"Yet there is little of it," Dis muttered bitterly. "We work tirelessly for little reward."

"You have a home," Nuil reminded her encouragingly. "Your son has a home, where he does not have to worry about where he will sleep at night and when his next meal will be. Where he has a family." Dis gave her a veiled look, not seeming to disagree nor agree with her. Nuil returned her attention to Fili.

T.A. 2861

"Aunnie! Aunnie Nui!" Fili cried banging his hands against her one so little, he was terribly strong already. Eurig was even entertaining the idea of beginning his weapons training. He stood on wobbly feet, raising his hands up to her. "Up!"

"Up?" she asked, setting her book down. "You're too big!"

"Nuh," Fili shook his head firmly before reaching up to her more earnestly. "I is wittle!"

"Dear me," Nuil exclaimed as she lifted Fili into her lap, "you are far too big for this."

"Ook! Ook what Unca made me!" Fili brandished a little wooden sword for her, waving it in the air excitedly. He jabbed it out several times as if warding off invisible foes. So Eurig had spoken to Thorin then?

"Thorin made you this?" she said touching the smoothed wood.

"Yea! I be a swordman when I get big ike 'im," Fili proclaimed.

"Oooh!" she said trying to seem in awe of his words. Fili beamed at her, then bounced off her lap and to the floor, waving his sword through the air.

"Fili!" called Dis from another room, which had the young lads head shooting up.

"Ama'!" he cried running towards the door. He ran into Thorin, however, falling backwards with a cry of alarm. Thorin quickly scooped Fili up in his arms. A flash of alarm crossed the older dwarfs face before it was replaced with his usual stoic look.

"Unca!" Then Fili scowled at him. "You push me."

"I am very sorry," Thorin told him gravely. This did not appease Fili, and the little lad huffed.

"Orc!" Fili stabbed Thorin in the chest with his wooden sword, eliciting a surprised grunt from Thorin. "Aunnie! Make orc put me down!"

Thorin set Fili to his feet without her needing to tell him to, where Fili went running to her. Nuil leaned down and grabbed Fili's hands, shaking them slightly with a smile on her lips. "Did you get the mean, nasty orc?"

" 'es! I's a warrior!"

"Good. Now go to your amad," Nuil smiled. She swatted his bottom as he went tottling from the room, still waving his sword. He managed to swipe Thorin's legs before he disappeared out the door. Nuil smirked up at Thorin. "Apparently you are an orc."

Thorin frowned. "So it seems. A 'mean, nasty orc'."

"It's good to see you," Nuil murmured, rising to her feet. It brought her great happiness to see the small upturn of his lips. He entered her room, gazing at the furnishings, his eyes settled on the pack at the foot of the wardrobe. Then he frowned.

"You are leaving?"

Nuil gave a slight smile. "No. I'm very poor at putting things away, especially since I spend so little time in my room as it is. I put it there, and there it has stayed."

"Dis enjoys your company," Thorin said turning to her, no longer frowning.

"It is your nephew who takes up most of my time," Nuil chuckled. "He loves me so."

"Really?" His brows raised, a small smile growing on his face. Thorin clasped his hands behind his back, looking to the mantle and picking up a small frame. "You drew this?"

Nuil approached him, taking the picture from his hands and smiling at it. It was of a mountain, the only one in the picture, surrounded by rolling hills and a city sitting at its base. "Nay. My brother, Nogoth, drew this. He is the only one who I have shared with." Her gaze darkened, and with a sigh she set it back in its place. "He thought to keep the memory whole, as it was so that I would remember the good."

"Did it?"

"I should like to think so," Nuil replied looking to him. He was glaring at the wall. She hated to see such an expression on his face. "I remember good and bad, such is life. But nothing could mar such wonderful memories of the time I dwelt in Erebor."

"Oh?"

"Is it so difficult to believe?" she asked with a raised brow. Thorin merely grunted, giving her a side glance. Nuil knew there was more he wanted to say, but didn't push him. The dark circles under his eyes were testament to how trying his role of king was. She wouldn't push him, though she wanted to. This was the first time in a long while that they had the chance to speak to one another so freely. There were so many questions she had.

Thorin cleared his throat, turning to her as he clasped his hands behind his back. "I must go. There is a friend that I must meet with."

Nuil felt her shoulders slump before she could stop them. He caught the movement with a narrowing of his eyes. Well, at least they had the chance to speak with one another. "Oh."

"Would you care to join me?" he suddenly asked, looking uncomfortable. He kept his gaze on anything but her. Nuil smiled slightly, feeling a little uplifted.

"That depends on the where," she replied.

"A small tavern."

The corners of her lips lifted. "Well then, I would love to."

Thorin gave her a veiled look, the flicker in his eyes showed that he was surprised she had accepted. Silently he offered her his arm. Nuil took it and he led her from the room, down the hall and to the main living area. Dis was sitting on a sofa, Fili sitting before her as she braided his golden hair. His face was pinched into a childlike look of pain as she tugged on the strands. Dis lifted a brow questioningly.

"Where are you both off to?"

"To show Nuilweyil Ered Luin," Thorin replied, shifting from one foot to the other.

"Unaccompanied?"

Thorin's jaw clenched, and his eyes hardened. Dis smirked at her brother unabashedly. Nuil glanced him, noting the set of his jaw and sighed. Oh, Dis. Sometimes she was too much. But perhaps it was the sibling urge to embarrass and annoy elders siblings. Nuil certainly had moments like that.

"I doubt that is necessary," she murmured. "Your imagination is running away with you my friend."

"Oh?" Dis smiled, "go on then.' She shooed them away and returned to Fili's hair. The little dwarrow bounced, eyes flickering towards the door eagerly.

"Where ya goin'?" he asked curiously.

"To meet friends," Thorin replied. Despite the young dwarf being his nephew, Nuil could see Thorin's patience waning with each passing word.

"We shan't be gone long," she assured them. "Shall we?"

Thorin nodded to his sister and led her to the door. Once outside of the home, she noticed his shoulders relax slightly and couldn't help but smile. He wasn't so used to the domestic life she was beginning to lead. Nuil found herself becoming comfortable and content. She was liking this new part of her life, caring for Fili and living with her childhood friend. A warm bed and meal were becoming more of an expectation with each passing day. Her days of living in the wilds seemed so far away that they felt like a dream.

They walked in silence down the torchlit path until they came to a more frequented area. Nuil couldn't help but feel uncomfortable at the stares they received as they passed more dwarrow. It was a far cry from how she was usually viewed. She preferred to be ignored. Not ogled.

"I hope they're staring at you," Nuil muttered under her breath after passing yet another gaping dwarf.

Thorin took a moment before responding. His eyes slid downwards, watching her eyes scrunch up at the corners and her shoulders rise. It was easy to see her obvious discomfort. Her behavior nearly bordered on skittish. "None have ever seen me in the presence of a female other than my sister, in many long years," he told her quietly. "Especially one not of our own race."

"You never did explain to me what happened after you returned to Ered Luin," Nuil told him, purposefully avoiding mentioning Rana's name. "Besides, shouldn't a king have a wife and heirs?" He didn't even need a wife, Nuil mused, a lover that bore him a son would do. Thorin would have no shortages of unwilling lovers. She briefly wondered if he had ever had any.

"I have an heir," Thorin said bitingly, cutting her inner thoughts short.

Nuil was slightly startled by the sudden anger in his voice. "My apologies. I meant no offense. It only seems odd to me that- well . . ."

"I haven't wed yet?" there was a tone of bitter amusement in his voice. Nuil chose not to say anything more. Thorin chuckled slightly, a sort of patronizing sound, causing Nuil to look at him. "Believe me, it has been brought to my attention and pushed."

"Hm."

They continued in silence down another lit passage, until finally stopping at a door, were merry music and the strong smell of beer was flowing out. Loud laughter and drunken roaring met her ears. It certainly wasn't a place that she would willingly go, under different circumstances, but she had a dwarf king with her. Thorin turned to her, opening his mouth and shutting it, as if he thought better of speaking. With a slight nod to her, he pushed opened the door and was greeted by a round of cheers. Several tankards were raised into the air and the lighthearted atmosphered resumed.

He must come here a lot.

Thorin moved his warm hand to the small of her back guiding her through the crowd, and sending chills up her spine. Nuil glanced at him, encouraged by his warm gaze on her.

"Thorin!"

Nuil turned to meet the gaze of a dwarf she could never forget. His hair was shaved now, leaving only his beard and lower half of his head covered. Tattoos decorated his scalp and arms, making him look as big and imposing as she had remembered.

"Dwalin," Thorin returned. "You remember Nuilweyil?"

Dwalin settled his gaze on her. "Aye, bless me, only you were a tiny wee one then."

"Whatever happened to that hawk?" she asked with a smirk. Dwalin narrowed his eyes at her.

"I see that tongue of yours still works," he growled in a friendly manner.

"Lassie! I never expected you to be here," Balin cried moving to his brothers side. He too, like Thorin, had been a rare sight since Fili's birth. "How is the little lad?"

"The same, if not even more full of energy." Balin beamed at her and turned his gaze to Thorin.

"We expected just you tonight," he said and smiled at Nuil, "but this is a welcome surprise." Thorin gave the pair a thin smile, and the four found a table. After a silent period of drinking Balin turned to Thorin once more.

"How is the mine?"

"So far we have been lucky, some portions are unstable. I plan on getting those portions braced." He took a drink and stared at the tankard in his hands. "More metal has been pulled so far than any other mine, it's a good vein. Yet there is little else."

They weren't getting the precious metals they had hoped for. The last settlement that had resided in Ered Luin must have stripped the rock clean, but that had been many hundreds of years ago, back in the beginnings of the world, and before Melkor had been imprisoned. Surely there had to be something now?

"The jewelers with have to make do with metal then," Dwalin grunted.

"There is a way to get what we need," Thorin ventured, his hands tightening around his tankard. Balin looked warily at him, and Dwalin refused to raise his eyes. "There is always a chance that Erebor can be retaken."

"You forget the dragon," Balin reminded him. Nuil clenched her fists, staring down at her beer and watching her reflection as she stared back up at herself. Balin's gaze flickered to her. Her knew of her hate for the dragon. Yet he knew there would be little to keep his king from such a hoard. "Smaug may still be alive."

"None have seen Smaug for many years," Thorin argued firmly.

"Which may all be a rumor! Your father went, and we haven't heard from him since. Don't think on this Thorin," Balin urged. "You have a nephew that needs you, should you leave and never return, who will teach him? Guide him into the role he must one day fill? It is best not to rush into something like this. I know a few warriors that reside near Erebor, it would be best to make sure-"

"To sit by as our gold is stolen?!" Thorin sneered angrily. "I will not sit and watch my people suffer."

Balin sent Thorin a sympathetic look. "The mine is proving to be fruitful. Think of Fili, Lady Dis. When he has grown more, then . . . such a venture should be enacted."

They sat and drank for a little while longer, speaking of little nonessential things. Thorin remained mostly silent. When the two brothers left Nuil gazed at Thorin until he finally raised his gaze to meet hers. The blue depths were filled with frustration and upset, though he was hiding it well. Nuil knew better than to bring up the earlier conversation with Balin. At least not until he did.

Thorin sighed. "This is not how I imagined this evening."

"Oh?" She raised her brow. "I think it was fine. I was wondering where Dwalin has been, turns out that he provides protection to caravans. Now I will look for him more when I am on the road."

"Always looking forward," he murmured gazing at her with a bittersweet look. "Always wandering." Nuil pressed her lips together, fighting the urge to remind him that she had been in Ered Luin with his family for near four years now. As if sensing her ire, he lowered his eyes to the table. A small part of her understood his words and why he said them, for they were true. But perhaps she could change . . .

"You must think it foolish to even entertain the notion of reclaiming Erebor," he muttered darkly.

Nuil hummed softly. "That depends. Balin's worries are grounded, Fili needs you. Your people need you here." She noticed the waning anger in his eyes, replaced by unhappy realization. "But not impossible. I do not feel that it is necessary, but I will not stop you if it is what you want."

"I want?" The tone of surprise caught her off guard. He was surprised that she was mentioning his own wants? Was he so selfless now that he didn't even think of his own self? No, that wasn't true. He did, but not in the same manner she was asking. It was her, asking what he wanted, willing to do what he wanted, even though it didn't feel like the best decision.

And it really wasn't. Especially after she had found out that Thrain had gone missing when he had gone back East with the very same idea in mind. The people of Aule couldn't lose another leader. Times were hard, yes, but it was the way things were.

"Yes," she told him, reaching out and grasping his hand tightly. His eyes drifted to their hands, and he moved his other to fully enclose her own, the rough callouses brushing against her smoother skin. Thorin squeezed her hand tightly.

"If it is not?" was his quiet reply.

"Stay."

This chapter was just super fluffy. And I ADORE little Fili. I don't really know how to write 'little kid speak' so bear with me.

'Aunnie' is Nuil's name that Fili calls her, because he could never get 'Aunt' down apparently. Plus coming from him it's so cute it stuck. And I couldn't find the Khuzdul word for Aunt. I did find 'mother-lady'- 'amadinh' which I suppose is the dwarven equivalent of aunt. Or I could say 'amad-namad' which is mother-sister. What do you guys think?

Next chapter soon! I have another camp this week and then school starts (oh, joy). Kili is coming! :)

Thank you to my lovely reviewers: The Penned Tekrid (omg I didn't realize that she's his cousin now . . . ew), Comics4theFeels, and Chilled Souls of the Forgotten. Also thank you to my followers and favoriters!

Read and Review!

~filimeala