Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien except the characters not in his works.

Since I was young, I knew I'd find you
But our love was a song sung by a dying swan
And in the night, you hear me calling,
You hear me calling
And in your dreams you see me falling, falling.

~Oblivion, feat. Suzanne Sundfor

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

T.A. 2868

"Then the old goat said to the farmer, 'why do I need to carry these stones?' And the farmer said to the goat, 'so that you can become strong like my oxen.' So the old goat carried the great big stones-"

"How big were they?" Kili asked eyes wide. Nuil glanced down at him where he sat on her lap. This was about the tenth time he had interrupted. He was so inquisitive, it was endearing really. But it would have been more amusing about five interruptions ago.

"As big as you," she replied. "Now hush, or we'll never get through the story."

Kili clamped his mouth shut, gazing at her with his big brown eyes obediently.

"So the old goat carried the great big stones, up, up, up, the mountain and the farmer began building the house. The old goat did this three times, and the house slowly grew, until it was finally finished and the farmer brought his wife to live in the house. But then they had a terrible winter, and the farmer and his wife ran out of food. So the farmer turned to the old goat and said, 'we're so hungry, can't we have one of your legs?' The old goat told the farmer yes, because he wanted to become strong like the farmers oxen. So the farmer and his wife ate the old goats leg."

Kili gasped. "Didn't the old goat die?"

"Not yet," Nuil said. "Well, the farmer and his wife got hungry again, so the farmer asked the goat for his other two legs, and the old goat said yes. This happened one more time before the old goat realized that he no longer had legs. Surely he could not become strong like an oxe without legs?" Kili shook his head, eyes wide. "So the old goat went to the farmer. 'Farmer, I cannot walk. How will I get strong like your oxen?' The farmer gave the old goat a sad look. 'There is a way, but you must let me eat your heart.' The old goat believed his master and let the farmer eat his heart."

Kili gasped again, gripping the fabric of her blouse tightly.

"Right before the old goat died, he realized that the farmer had lied to him. He would never become strong like his oxen."

"Why was the farmer so mean?" Kili asked with a frown, his fingers curled around her blouse with confusion written in his eyes.

"The farmer was a bad man, who took advantage of the old goat." Nuil smoothed out Kili's wild hair, lips upturned when she realized he had managed to take his braids out again. Dis would be furious. "He lied so that the goat would give him what he wanted."

"Didn't the goat know he could never be strong like an oxe?" Kili asked.

"Just because he was a goat didn't mean he couldn't be strong," Nuil explained to the bright young dwarf in her lap. "Just like your uncle or your father, each has different strengths. We are strong in our own ways, like the goat carrying the great stones up the mountain."

Kili made a noise of understanding, a slow smile forming on his lips. Nuil beamed at him, finding that whenever he smiled it brought one to her face as well. It was infectious. There was always a smile on Kili's face and when he was with Fili, he was fearless. The two were perfect balances for each other. Fili was Thorin's heir, making him slightly more mature. But Kili always managed to get him to smile and play around as if the burden didn't weigh on his shoulders.

"Aunnie?"

"Yes, my dear one?"

"Will you teach me to fight?" His innocent look made her smile widen. He was really Fili's brother. Eager and ready.

"Gladly, dear one."

Nuil watched Fili spar with his uncle, practice swords in their hands. Fili had grown much over the past four years. He was only a head shorter than his uncle and already boasting a thick growth of stubble on his fair skin. His blue eyes danced as his uncle lunged, and he blocked.

There was no denying that Fili would make an excellent swordsman. Dis was so proud and so was Eurig. Kili gripped her hand, jumping in the air whenever the two lunged or dodged attacks. A huge grin on his face as he cheered his older brother on. Nuil knew he was expecting to get his own practice sword any day now. Her youngest nephew was beside himself with anticipation.

They watched until Fili finally was on his back, overpowered by his uncle and breathing hard. His cheeks colored with exertion as Thorin helped him to his feet. Fili grinned at Thorin, looking very happy when he wrapped an arm around Fili's shoulders with a look of pride. Nuil knew how much he wanted to make his uncle proud. As they approached Kili broke away and ran to them, arms in the air.

"Uncle!"

Thorin gave Kili a rare smiled, leaning down to pick him up.

"Can I try too? I'm big now! I want to fight!" Kili spouted off. Fili beamed up at his brother.

"You can use my sword little brother!" Fili offered.

"Please?" Kili asked beseechingly, eyes on his uncle. His tiny hands gripped the front of Thorin's sweat soaked tunic in an almost desperate clingingness. Thorin's face softened at the eagerness of his youngest nephew. He gave Nuil a glance, noting her smile with warm eyes.

"I do believe you are ready," he said finally. Kili squealed, scrambling to get down. He put his hands on his hips and stared with every amount of seriousness his small form could muster at the small practice ring. Thorin watched with amusement. The Kili turned to look at her, his tiny form quivering with excitement.

"I'm gonna be big and strong, Aunnie!"

"Yes, you will be, Kili," she said with a chuckle. Fili went to his brother, bending down to show him his sword. He had one of his arms wrapped around Kili's shoulders protectively. Thorin approached her, Nuil had to keep her eyes on the boys to fight the furious blush that threatened to rise to her cheeks. His tunic was nearly soaked, the collar open and loose, revealing his skin and dark chest hairs hidden by the rest of the fabric.

They had not had many chances to speak since her near banishment three years ago. She would never admit it, but she was very glad Thorin had changed his mind and went to bring her back. So very glad. It helped that he seemed to be more aware of her opinions now, and since his near meltdown two years ago when Dain and his wife had come to visit, she seemed to better understand his moods and actions. But getting the chance to be in his presence was good enough for her. This was her home. It wasn't the cottage by Lake Evendim, nor the sprawling green hills. But it was tied to her, the stone, by blood and her fierce love for this family.

Thorin watched his nephews, keenly aware that Nuil was keeping her eyes on them on purpose. Quietly he cleared his throat, finally drawing her gaze with those hazel eyes. Bright and happy.

"How are you?" he asked softly. Nuil gave him a small smile, eyes fully on him.

"Well. And you? It seems as though your duties keep you apart from your family," Nuil said, from me. Thorin sighed slightly, a wave of exhaustion crossing his aging face. Nuil knew that his duties were strenuous, and demanding of him. He was too proud to back down and take the easy road, placing the welfare of his people before his own.

Nuil reached out boldly, brushing a few strands of his dark hair from his face. She gave him a smile, though it didn't convey what she wanted to express to the dwarf beside her. His blue eyes searched her face, both seeming to be at a loss for words. Finally Nuil spoke softly.

"You work too hard, Thorin," she murmured. "Have you been sleeping?"

Thorin reached out and took the hand that had brushed his hair away in his own. His hands were significantly larger than her own, calloused from years of smithing and battles. She knew hers were worn from time, but his were nearly a tough as stone. But it felt right. He gave her hand a squeeze, secretly marveling at how small her hands were.

"I'm fine," he replied. He looked to his nephews again, not letting go of her hand, warmth radiating from his skin. Nuil looked to Fili and Kili, smiling at them. Fili had Kili's back pressed against his chest as he showed Kili how to hold the sword, his hands over the smaller ones of his brother.

It was the same way her brothers had taught her how to wield a sword.

Kili beamed up at him, saying something in excitement. Fili reached a hand over to ruffle Kili's already messy hair.

Eurig was on the floor with his boys after they finished supper. They were retelling their father about their day, Fili jumping to his feet to show his father how he sparred with his uncle. They chatted excitedly, Kili bouncing as he told him how Fili let him use his sword. Dis was watching with a tender look in her eyes, not bothering to busy herself with anything, content to watch.

Nuil was in a chair opposite them, sewing quietly and stealing glances at the precious moment. The fabric in her hands was thick, used for cloaks. She had a finished cloak sitting at her feet, embroidered with golden suns and starbursts. The trim had fur around the hood, perfect for cold weather traveling. The one on her lap was of the same make, yet she was embroidering silver moons and stars. Once that was done she would add the fur.

Perfect gifts for her nephews when they finally reached maturity and began to have their own adventures. She had told Dis of this, pleased that her friend approved. What Dis did not know, was that she had made a cloak for each of them. Gifts for when her brothers finally called her home. She knew that they wanted to see her again, and she expected a summons any day now.

The thought brought an unhappy frown to her face. She didn't really want to leave Ered Luin. It was home to her, like Erebor had been. The people she loved were here. She did love her brothers, but they were hardly ever home, always abroad. Living with Dis and helping raise Fili and Kili had awoken something in her.

She wanted to settle down. Lead a life of peace, with a family of her own.

Nuil knew it was inevitable to be called home. She knew her time here would not last forever. It was eating at her, keeping her awake at night with worry.

Kili's laughter brought her out of her thoughts. She smiled as Eurig pinned his sons to the ground, his fingers dancing across their stomachs.

"Adad!" Fili gasped. "Adad!"

"Amad, help us!" Kili howled between laughter. Dis was chuckling, but offered no assistance to her sons. "Aunnie!"

Nuil pressed her lips together, shaking her head and trying not to laugh. Her gaze landed on Thorin. The dwarf was standing silently in the doorway watching. His arms were crossed over his chest, corners of his lips upturned. His eyes settled on her, blue eyes darkening slightly as his gaze turned soft. Nuil smiled, gesturing for him to join them. Thorin shook his head, his face regaining a tired look before he slowly back away into the shadows of the hall. Nuil sighed, shoulders slumping.

She understood. He felt as if he had no place in this moment. But he did. A dwarf with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and no relief. A burning desire to reclaim his homeland, and a fierce hatred. Nuil knew that Thorin was not at peace with his life, knew he felt the burdens of his people. If only he would let it go, at least for a little while . . . perhaps he could finally feel some peace.

Her mother had always taught her that dreams had meanings. Even the worst ones. Nuil had not believed her, finding her mother too superstitious in her beliefs. Yet a small part of her had tucked it away in the back of her mind. Clinging to her late mothers teachings.

She was sitting in a grand room, long red tapestries hung from the walls. Shelves lined with books filled the room, as great torches blazed. Nuil wore a fine gown, embroidered with gold, and trimmed with gold. The fabric felt like silk against her skin, but there were many layers of skirts that covered her legs. Her gaze turned towards the walls in the room. The stone was cracked in some places, but not big enough to cause alarm.

The book in her hands shut as the sound of little feet drew near. In through the open doors a little boy ran, his dark hair flying behind him as he landed in a heap at her feet. He wrapped his tiny arms around her legs and stared up at her with wide blue eyes. He had her nose, and chin. But his eyes and lips were that of another.

No words were spoken. He merely stared up at her, adoration in those blue eyes. Her heart went out to him. He was so beautiful, he couldn't possibly be hers. Her son. Yet every fiber of her being hoped that he was. His chest rose and fell rapidly, showing that he had been running before coming to her. But the smile on his lips let her know that he was in no danger.

He just had to be hers. There was no other way to explain the deep love that pulled at her heart, the pride that filled her when she gazed at him. He just had to be. Finally the little one opened his mouth.

"Amad?"

Nuil jerked awake, bolting upright in her bed. A dream. It had all been a dream. She brushed her hair out of her face, taking a deep breath. She had never dreamed about children before, certainly not of her own for she had none. Nuil remembered her mothers wise words, her belief that dreams showed us what may lie in our futures.

Nuil shut her eyes almost despairingly. "Oh, mother," she moaned. "What does this mean?"

There was no response of course. A tiny voice in her mind however, told her that this would not be the last of the dream, and that it was no mere trick of the mind.

Nuil entered Thorin's study, smiling when her eyes landed on the hunched over dwarf king, softly snoring into the wood of the desk. He would be mortified to know that she had seen him in such a state. But she couldn't help herself, approaching him and taking the feathered quill out of his limp hands. She placed it with the other he had and shut the ink well.

She moved the parchments and letter out of the way and finally looked down at his sleeping face. He looked exhausted. Dark rings hung under his eyes, the lines on his face standing out sharply in the warm glow of the fire. Even the few strands of gray hair at his temple looked like silver. He didn't always have that, she mused, brushing the stray hairs back into his dark mane of hair. Nuil could see age and time creeping up on him.

He wouldn't be around forever, she reminded herself.

What a dark world it would be not to see him. She had known him since she was a child, admired and envied him. Yet the thought of losing him made her heart clench painfully. He may not love her, not in the way she did, but at least she had his friendship.

Nuil reached out and gently shook his shoulder, knowing that if he slept like this all night he would be a cantankerous beast in the morning. He stirred slowly, at first, giving her a tired groan. Then he sat bolt upright, hand going into his coat to where she suspected he had a dagger hidden. His blue eyes landed on her and he relaxed.

"Come to kill me, my dear?" he murmured with amusement coloring his sleep ridden voice.

Nuil smirked. "Only to get you to bed."

Thorin looked away and soft upturn of his lips hiding the smile that he was suppressing. He rubbed his face a moment later, looking to the papers piled on his desk wearily. "I still have work to do-"

"I'm sure it can wait, a king must sleep sometime." She gripped his arm tightly, pulling him to his feet. A sigh escaped his lips and he cast her an almost annoyed look.

"A king never sleeps," he murmured.

Nuil snorted, missing the amused look he gave her for such an action. "You have just lied, explain to me the state I just found you in."

"You shouldn't have been in here," Thorin sneered, without the malicious tone. "Didn't anyone ever teach you its rude to enter a private study?"

Nuil huffed moving towards the door. "You are in a right mood, Thorin Oakenshield. I only meant to spare you the pain of a sore back when I came."

Thorin grunted following her. Once outside in the hall he took her arm and wrapped it around his. Nuil couldn't stop the grin that spread across her face when he did this. It was so rare when he was this considerate. They walked in silence before he spoke.

"I never have thanked you for all that you have done for us."

"There's nothing to thank me for, I did all willingly," she replied.

Thorin nodded. "Aye. But you needn't."

"So I should not be here, helping Dis?"

"Is that the only reason why you're here?" he asked. Nuil was silent for a moment, she knew the answer to that question, but she just wasn't sure how he would take it.

"No."

"May I ask why?"

They were at her bedroom door. Nuil realized that she had been meaning to see Thorin to his out quarters but instead he had led them here. She pulled away from his slightly, looking from the floor to his face thoughtfully. He couldn't fault her for honesty, she supposed.

"I'm here because you are my family," Nuil said. "I do have my brothers, but I don't know them like I know you all. Their thoughts are turned to duty and fulfilling our fathers wishes, but here I have a purpose that makes me happy. Not endless wandering."

Thorin nodded, his eyes turning downwards, and he took a step closer to her. "It is not duty that ties you here, then?"

"Loyalty, and the love I carry for each of you," Nuil said. Thorin raised his eyes to hers, his gaze guarded and a little wary.

"And that love," he breathed, "is whole, real, and true?" He was close enough to touch her now, his own hand reaching out, fingers gently brushing her arm. He sounded so wary and cautious, which she understood.

"Yes," she said quietly. "Never have I doubted it, and the only way it has changed is by the intensity I've felt it."

"Speak plainly, Nuilweyil," he demanded in his deep voice, though now it was rough and full of emotion.

"Thorin, I would stay by your side to the ends of time if Aule permitted it. My home is where you are. Time has only strengthened my feelings."

His fingers curled around her arm, pulling her towards him. Nuil sucked in a sharp breath, heart pounding furiously in her chest, as his eyes searched her own. She lightheaded and dizzy all at once. Thorin slowly moved his hand up the column of her throat, sending spine tingling chills through her, saying nothing as his fingers wound themselves into her hair, held back in its usual braid.

Thorin pressed her close, moving his other hand to press into her lower back. He watched her chest rise and fall, and the heat rush up to her cheeks. Such a lovely shade of red, he mused. He had hoped that she had felt some duty towards his kin, but never imagined the loyalty she told him of. To him, of all dwarves, when she could have her pick of any.

The faint light from the torch at the end of the hall cast its faint glow over them, and he pulled her head towards his, pressing his lips to hers. Nuil's lips parted in surprise and he moved in, holding her to him. She shivered, hands moving to grasp his coat desperately.

It was like a thousand suns had exploded in her chest, everything was a dizzy symphony of drums in her ears, and her lips were on fire. The air was stolen from her lips, and Thorin's well groomed beard tickled her skin as he pressed in further, hands moving up and down her sides. Her legs wobbled and it was only his firm grip on her that kept her up.

He broke away, pressing kisses along her jaw line as she gasped for air. Then his lips were on hers once more, and she let herself get lost in his touch. When they finally broke away, both were breathing heavy, holding each other tightly. Thorin pressed his forehead to hers, regaining his breath, and she hers. Then he pulled away and pressed a tender kiss to her brow.

Nuil touched her lips, lowering her gaze. She missed his amused look, and only looked up when he spoke, a little breathlessly. "You act as if you've never been kissed, my lady."

"I haven't," she breathed. His heavy lidded blue gaze studied her silently, before his face turned to one of pleasure, as if her words had made him happy. His hands came up to cradle her face.

"I can fix that," he murmured and a smiled spread across her face.

Yup. I can't stand these two dancing around each other any more, they fight like a married couple anyways. :) Hope none of the characters seemed too OOC. And I don't go into Dain and Rana's visit because they aren't really that important in this story, and I don't like writing them, lets just say they came and went and everyone was glad to see them go. Unfortunately they will show up later in the story. *pouts*

Special thank you to my reviewers who have stuck with me so far! : uno mega, RALover, Alu Riversong, The Penned Tekrid, Sam0728. Also thank you to my readers, followers and favoriters.

Read and Review!

~filimeala