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Chapter 38 – Where We Stand
Ward felt his heart breaking at the sight before him. All he wanted to do was to wrap his arms around Skye, around their child, and to never let go. However years of training told Ward that they were a weakness, his own brain told him that Skye and the baby were better off without him, yet his pulled him to them. Wrapping his arms around Skye he pulled he close and smoothed her hair as she continued to cry into his shirt.
"I want this, Skye. I want you and I want this baby," Ward whispered, "But we are never going to get over the things I've done and the fact that you are both better off without me. Fury can send someone else to protect you…"
"No," Skye interrupted, looking up at him, "You can protect us. You've been doing it for months. Does me being pregnant change everything that much?"
"Skye…" Ward sighed, "I want to be here, for you and the baby but I don't think I can watch from a distance anymore."
Skye sat up and looked at the specialist, "Then don't. Come back with me. Come back to the team."
Ward shook his head, "They don't want me there. They think I'm in prison, we're all better off that way."
"I'm not. This baby's not. I told you in Rome that I am not lying to this kid, Ward." Skye sighed, "That means telling them about you and also means telling them you're not in prison, the team will find out eventually. Wouldn't you rather it be on your terms?"
Ward sat back and sighed, "Skye, how many times do we have to go through this?"
"Until you agree with me."
"I thought you wanted me to make my own decisions," Ward replied, getting to his feet, "So this is me making my own decisions."
"You also said you were trying to be a good man," Skye replied, pulling herself to her feet, "A good man wouldn't walk away."
"I'm not walking away, Skye," Ward said, "I'm protecting you, I'm protecting both of you."
"From what, Grant?" Skye replied, taking a step towards him, "You're the one who keeps telling me you're here to protect me. How does walking away now protect me?"
"It protects you from me," Ward snapped, "I'm not a good man. I'm not good for you and I'm certainly not good for your kid."
"Our kid, Ward. This is our kid," The tears were gone, anger now lined Skye's face, "Just answer me one question. What do you want?" Before Ward could answer she continued, "Not what you think is best for me and the baby. What. Do. You. Want, Ward?"
"I want this, Skye?" Ward replied, taking a step back towards the hacker, "This is the only thing I've ever wanted. And you? What do you want? You keep telling me that being here with you and the baby is best for the kid, but you never said what you want. Do you want me here, Skye? Do you actually want me to be a part of this kid's life or do you just not want them to have the questions you had?"
Skye took a step forward, so she was now right up against Ward's chest, she looked up, pain in her eyes, "What I want is to stay with you and imagine the world outside doesn't exist." Almost mirroring Ward's words from Providence exactly.
Ward didn't know what to say, he desperately wanted to believe her. He saw the pain in her eyes at his accusation, in all his years as a solider Ward had never seen the kind of hurt in her eyes directed at him. He'd never had anyone who cared enough about him to be hurt by his actions. When he saw the hurt in Skye's eyes Ward knew her feelings were real, that she really wanted him to stay, not just for the baby but for her as well. Ward saw the hurt grow the longer he didn't answer, so he did the one thing he though would tell her he cared, the one thing he had wanted to do since she stumbled into his camp. Ward brought his lips down on Skye's.
Ward could tell Skye was shocked, wondering if he made the right move he went to pull back, only to have her hand on the back of his neck pulling him back down.
When they both came up for air Skye smiled, "Does that mean you'll come back with me?"
Ward sighed and rested his head against Skye's, "Not today," When Skye went to pull away he held her in place, "But you're right, I need to be here for you," His eyes flicked to her stomach, "For both of you. I protect you better from a distance, we both know that. I'll stay but I can't go back to the team, not yet."
Skye looked up, wrapping her arms around Ward's neck, "But one day?"
Ward gave a weak smile, "That's all I can promise for now. Skye, one day I'll be ready to go back and they'll be ready to let me back. When people stop coming after you I'll be with you and our baby." He have a proper smile, placing a hand on her stomach.
Dropping a hand from his neck Skye covered Ward's hand over their baby, "What if they never stop coming after me?"
"Then I'll never stop protecting you."
Tears began to form in Skye's eyes again, "But you won't be with me."
Ward placed her other hand on Skye's cheek, "I'll always be here for both of you, Skye. Just not as close as both of us would like."
Skye suddenly smiled wickedly, "We're close now," she wrapped her arms back around Ward's neck, pulling him back down to her level. "They won't notice I'm gone for a while."
"Skye…" Ward warned.
Skye smiled again, "You know that was the first time since Providence that you kissed me first."
Ward smiled, "I didn't want to push."
Skye stood on her toes and grazed her lips over his, "Maybe I like it when you push."
Ward's smile widened as he crashed his lips down on Skye's.
When both their hands' began to wonder Skye pulled away, "Do you have a tent we could move this to?"
Ward barely nodded when Skye's lips were back on his and he was pulling her towards his tent. Skye moaned when Ward's lips began to trail down her neck, "This is what got us in trouble in the first place," He breathed between kisses.
Skye ran her hands through his hair in response, pulling his lips back up to hers.
However they both pulled apart when a voice echoed through the trees, "Skye, are you out here?"