Disclaimer: everything belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien save for the characters not in his works.
I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
~Faint, Linkin Park
CHAPTER TWENTY
T.A. 2941
45 years later . . .
Nuil hummed as she made her way down the lane, her fingers brushing over the tops of the wildflowers growing alongside it. There was a sad sort of melancholic smile on her face. It was a smile she often wore now, but only when she was alone and her mind was left to wander. The sun was setting on the horizon, casting warm orange light over Hobbiton, nestled down at the base of the hills. She could hear mothers calling to their children, supper was approaching.
She opened a gate leading up to the round green door of Bag End. Nuil raised her hand, knuckles poised over the wood when a blue glimmer caught her attention. Pausing she bent down to look at the strange blue mark, realizing with a raise of her brows that it was a dwarven rune.
Burglar. Work Wanted.
How odd. What was a dwarven rune doing on Bilbo's door? Surely he wasn't trying it out to see if any dwarves would come this way. That would be very foolish. Bilbo was no burglar. And dwarves did not take kindly to lying, at least they didn't from her experience. With a frown and sigh she knocked on the door before opening it to let herself in.
"I'm back!" she called down the hallway, hanging her cloak up on a hook, and taking off her somewhat muddy boots to spare Bilbo's pristine floors. There was a clatter of dishes from the kitchen before the hobbit in question came out of the sitting room to her left, drying his hands on a dishtowel.
"You're early," he said quickly, but a smile grew on his face. "Hungry? I've put a kettle on and I can throw another fish in the frying pan."
Nuil shook her head, smiling. "I think I'll pass, but thank you. I'm feeling a little under the weather." She was weary, and needed a little sleep, she figured. Nuil knew she wasn't ill, but as of late she had felt . . . older. She hardly looked it, her hair still the same shade of dark brown and she still held her youthful countenance. But her body was feeling it.
Bilbo tutted. "It's all this wandering, you do," he said following her down the main hallway as she worked her way back to the room she resided in. "As long as you have been doing it, I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner."
"I wouldn't talk Bilbo, you used to join me," she said with a smirk. Bilbo stopped, his cheeks reddening.
"Yes, well, I was very young," he said quickly. "But I came to my senses!" He shook the dishtowel at her. "You're lucky I am friends with you, Baggin's are very respectable folk-"
"-and I'm not," Nuil rolled her eyes. "Don't forget who you are speaking to, young man," she teased. Bilbo smiled as she reached her room.
"Well, come join me when you feel up to it. I have things to talk about, with you."
Nuil waved her hand and went into her room, shutting the door behind her. She sighed, rubbing her face and quickly changing into a gray blouse and blue skirt, tossing her dirty tunic and pants down to be washed. Her gaze settled on the door, and she frowned. He wasn't the little hobbit she had once known. With age he had become more like his father. But she did see glimpses of his Tookish blood every now and then. With a grateful sigh she laid down in her bed, letting sleep take her.
There was a weight on her shoulder, a chill on her skin as the late night air nipped at her exposed ankles. She turned her head, seeing that her father was there pointing at something in the night sky. Nuil blinked, marveling at his strong face and full beard. His brown eyes glittered under the stars.
"Papa . . ." she breathed in awe and sadness. She had forgotten what he looked like.
"You see that?" he asked. Nuil turned her gaze to the solitary peak of Erebor, a sight she had not seen in many years. Above it, was a arch of bright stars and suddenly she remembered. The Mountain Crown. She gasped slightly.
"I call it the mountain crown," Nolen told her, his voice full of pride. "It is the Valar's way of showing us that Erebor is tied to everything. It has a place in legend, and will stand forever."
"Abad bovan," she murmured. Nolan looked at her questioningly. "It means mountain crown in Khuzdul," she told him. He said the words himself, a smile lingering on his lips. She remembered this, from so long ago . . .
"That is fitting don't you think, dear one?" he asked her after some time. Nuil looked up at her father. The same as when she had last seen him. She still admired the gleam of awe in his eyes as he stared up at the stars. The new constellation that he had found. She always knew her father was a strong man, warrior even. She was glad to admire the stillness and softness he exuded at that moment. He was her father, and nothing could change that.
"Papa . . ."
He turned to her then, his eyes sad and solemn. She could see great age within them, great mourning. It hurt her to see such emotion there, when she was so used to seeing strength and power. He seemed to age before her eyes, hunched with time. Was this what he would have looked like had he lived?
"My little one," he murmured softly, running his hand through her loose hair. "How you have grown."
But she was a child here. Surely that is what he saw?
"Meldamar and I have watched you and your brothers," he went on. "We're so proud. So proud." Tears pricked her eyes, and with wild abandon she flung her arms around him. Taking great comfort in being able to feel his body. He felt warm, but she knew this was a dream. "But so sad . . . dear one, you should not mourn the past."
Nuil pulled back slightly, looking up into his face. "Papa I failed you, mama died-"
"Hush. It was the will of the Valar, and their will be done."
"I spit on their will!" Nuil snapped clenching her jaw. "I wish I had died with you." Nolen frowned, holding her tightly.
"Do not speak such words," he told her sternly. "If you had died you would not be there for your brothers, nor would you be in Fili and Kili's lives. You would not be in Dis or Thorin's, all whom you love." Nuil deflated, knowing her father was correct. He almost always was. "Do you love him?"
Nuil jerked, brows drawing together.
"You know of whom I speak," Nolen said.
She flushed. Aule, she did not know for sure. Yet her heart told her she did. She was willing to do anything for him, all of them. Nuil did not reply, clenching her jaw shut. She felt for him, but they were different, he a king and she a wandering traveler. So few was the time they could spend with one another. He had his kingly duties to fulfill. Their shared moments were a gift that she cherished, but she did not know if they would last.
"There are events in motion," Nolen said pulling away from her, "that will affect the course of the world. You are tied it all, but nothing rests upon you. But he is. Should he fail, darkness will rise and Middle Earth will fall. Erebor is tied to everything."
"Erebor? Father, Smaug has taken it," Nuil murmured. Nolen smiled, a knowing look entering his eyes.
"It is time to wake up, little one."
"Papa, I don't understand." She clung to the front of his tunic, knowing that he was leaving, but not wanting him to go. Nolen removed himself from her grasp, cupping her cheeks in his hands.
"We love you."
"Papa."
"Nuil, wake up."
"No, please stay."
"Wake up."
She woke in darkness, the fire from the hearth burning low. There was no light coming from the window telling her that it was well into the night. Nuil moaned slightly, feeling the ache in her limbs from exhaustion and overexertion. There was noise from beyond her door, and she could hear it growing louder. With a start she realized that it was coming near her door.
Several sets of voices, if she was correct.
What was Bilbo doing? Had he not gone to bed yet?
There was a knock on her door followed by a brief silence.
"Nuil? It's Bilbo, are you alright? May I come in?"
Annoyance for the small hobbit spiked within her. Just what was he doing? She was too tired to even bother replying, choosing instead to roll away from the door and remain silent. If it was danger she hardly cared. The Shire was a safe place, it was not likely that she would be attacked. Nuil just wanted to sleep. She hardly cared for what he wanted to talk to her about, and hoped that he would forgive her just this once.
The voices rose again, and she heard the door click. So he was coming in then. She listened as Bilbo's bare feet hit the floor, and only a shaft of light from the hall showing his face to her when he sat on the bed. His hand reached out and rested on her forehead, a frown pulling at his lips.
"You're warm," he murmured with concern. "Are you unwell?"
"You worry too much," she replied lowly, removing his hand with a flick of her wrist. She was warmed that he was concerned about her, when it should be the other way around. "You didn't tell me you were having guests." At this Bilbo ran a hand nervously through his curly light brown locks, his gaze flicking to the lit doorway.
"Well- they weren't expected," he whispered to her. "And they've eaten everything in the pantry, I'm quite surprised you slept through it all."
"Are you done, Mr. Boggins? We'd like to see her," came a voice from the doorway that Nuil instantly recognized. She sat up suddenly, nearly sending Bilbo to the floor. She caught him, steadying him as he stood with a scowl on his face.
"It's Baggin's," he said annoyed, "and she is my guest." Nuil shot him a stern glare and smiled at the two familiar silhouettes in the doorway. She held her arms out to them. There were here! What a surprise!
"Fili, Kili."
"Aunnie!"
"Amadinh!"
The bed dipped suddenly and two dwarves were in her arms, squeezing the life out of her. Nuil wound her hands into their tunics and coats, holding them close while pressing a kiss to the side of their heads respectively. She had visited Ered Luin since her leaving shortly after Eurig's death. She had last seen the two ten summers ago. Kili had been very eager to show her his bow, an odd skill for a dwarf considering that most preferred swords and axes. But it seemed that he was a natural. Fili was quite a proficient sword wielder, using two and nearly besting her even. Imagine that.
They pulled away and Nuil touched their chins, smiling and pleased with what she saw.
"My, how your little ones have grown," she murmured warmly, "Fili your beard has grown, and Kili-" she patted his cheek, knowing that he hated it "-you also have grown. A fine couple of dwarven lads."
Fili grinned at her, the braids on his beard swinging as he moved from the bed, Kili following his example once the flash of annoyance had passed from his features. They looked at her apologetically, but she waved it away and rose to her feet. Bilbo watched the exchange in silence, his mouth slightly agape and his brow furrowed.
"You know each other?" he asked, breaking the silence. Nuil rested her hand on his shoulder and gave it a gently squeeze. She felt a little guilty for having never told him, even though Fili and Kili knew a little of where she had been and what race she resided with. It had just never come up or mentioned.
"Aye," she said. "I have helped raise them since birth. Their mother is a dear friend of mine, and that is where I went ten summers ago."
Bilbo's face fell slightly and he looked away from her. She realized that she had hurt him, not on purpose. How could she not have told him? Nuil caught his chin and raised his face so that she could see his eyes.
Bilbo had always thought that he was special to Nuil. She had been with him since his youngest memories. His mother had even taken a liking to her and the two were almost always in each others company when Nuil was not playing with him.
She had been his childhood companion, when none of the other hobbit children would play with him. But the two dwarves before them were a startling reminder that she had a life before meeting him. A life that she very rarely shared with him.
"Bilbo, do not let this sadden you. I have loved every moment here with you," she said, "I have known many people in my time, but that does not mean you are any less to me than they are."
"Aunnie," Kili asked, brow furrowed as he stared at the two. Nuil raised her gaze to meet his brown eyes. "Is he- uh- he your-" he made a slight face "-husband?"
Fili glanced at his brother, amusement written on his face as Kili clamped his jaw shut. Bilbo spluttered indignantly, and Nuil grinned. Before she could respond Bilbo raised his voice, sounding miffed and quite put out. Nuil could only imagine the state of his home, judging from his reaction.
"Husband!" he pulled on his curly hair. "Indeed not! Nuil is incredibly old-"
"Bilbo!" she exclaimed.
"-and is more of an aunt to me, dare I say mother- though my own mother, bless her, can never be replaced," Bilbo's voice lowered so that he was more talking to himself than them. It rose again, along with his tiny fist, "but that is beside the point! Husband indeed!" Bilbo gave the youngest dwarf a disgusted look.
Kili's face had a tinge of embarrassment added to his cheeks, and he had the grace to look slightly shamefaced while Bilbo quivered in upset anger. Fili clapped his brother on the shoulder with a shake of his head.
"I do believe our uncle would take offense to that, nadad," Fili chuckled. "Aunnie, a wife to a hobbit?" He clicked his teeth together, "uncle would certainly have to impress her to get her back."
"As if," Kili grunted. "Last I saw they were madly in love."
"You never know . . ."
Nuil laughed, throwing her head back and grabbing the three males, pushing them from the room into the lighted hall. She very rarely laughed with such vigor, it surprised the three.
"Aye, how I've missed you," she said to Fili and Kili. She looped her arm through Bilbo's despite his shortness. The hobbit was giving the two brothers a particularly sour look. "Ridiculous as ever."
Fili smirked, looking down the hall to where the sound of voices was coming from. "I believe there is someone that would like to meet you." His smirk turned into a grin as Nuil's brow rose questioningly. But she had a suspicion of who that person already was. Ten years was a long time when in love, she mused silently. Too long.
"Do remind me again why you are here," she said softly, allowing them to lead her down the hall and to the dining room. "Or have you come to carry me away, like you threatened?" Fili's eyes danced with mirth remembering the threat he had given when she had left Ered Luin last. Nuil sighed when her question was met with silence and they rounded the corner, in full view of the dining room. Her eyes landed on a figure, facing aways from her, but one that she would recognize anywhere.
Her heart stopped.
Then began to pound.
Sorry this is a little late and a little short. I just couldn't get it to do what I wanted it to do. :( If there's any confusion let me know and I'll try to explain and fix it. This weekend has been SUPER busy. And then school starts this week . . . yay.
A lovely thank you to my readers!: uno mega, The Penned Tekrid, Chilled Souls of the Forgotten, Comics4theFeels, Sam0728, xenocanaan, Lunar678 and Guest. You are all amazing and just bring a smile to my face, even after a really sad chapter. Thank you.
Read and Review!
~filimeala