Disclaimer: I own nothing but my characters. J.R.R. Tolkien owns the rest.

"I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you."

~Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

T.A. 2941

Nuil watched as Bilbo took a sip from the cup of tea she had made him. He seemed much calmer now, but she couldn't help that she was literally hovering in the doorway watching his every move. The wizard, Gandalf, had not spoken a word to her, acting almost as if she was not present. Yet this wizard seemed willing to send Bilbo off into the wilds without a care of his well being.

It was not to be born.

She would not allow it. She made a promise that she intended to keep this time, no matter what. Nuil was not deaf to the mutterings of some of them members of Thorin's company. They didn't seem too impressed by the hobbit. Nor did they want to look after him, or make sure he stayed safe. Of course there were a few kinder views, a few who seemed willing to help. Even Balin had mentioned her joining them, but it had been met with an instant uproar. It was decided very quickly, she was not to come. Nuil scoffed, rolling her eyes.

As if they could stop her.

She had not been raised the way she had been raised to sit at home and be pretty, or ladylike. She was the daughter of Nolen. She had seven brothers, three surviving. As much as they wanted to keep her safe, they would not have her sit at home doing domestic housework until she married and went to do it for a husband. Nuil was sure that her marrying years were over, her future was so clouded that she was unsure of it. She still held her youth in looks, not a gray hair to be seen, but she felt her age acutely.

And Bilbo was a member of her family. A nephew so to speak. Much like a mother would for a child, Nuil would do anything for him. That meant keeping him alive, so coming she was. Thirteen dwarves would not be able to stop her. They could tie her up, but she would still follow them.

Bilbo and Gandalf began speaking, the former becoming agitated and then slowly resigned. Gandalf sat in a chair opposite him. Nuil shut her eyes and took a deep breath. The anger she felt towards the wizard was difficult to dispel. But she did try to do so. Upon opening them she spotted Balin making his way down a hallway, and followed. If any dwarf was to see reason, it was the aged warrior. His protests she had agreed with. They were the most like minded about this quest.

Balin sat on a bench in the hallway, with a sigh.

"Balin," she said as she approached. His eyes shined when he saw her, but he did not rise.

"Lassie," he said smiling. "It has been many years."

"A decade, friend," she replied sitting beside him. Balin shifted slightly.

"A long decade. I barely saw you when you were in Ered Luin," Balin told her. Nuil offered an apologetic smile, she had nothing to excuse herself with.

"I've actually come to speak to you concerning Bilbo-"

"The hafling will not come," said Thorin walking towards them with a scowl on his face, entering their conversation and resting against the wall, crossing his arms. He nodded to Balin before gazing at her silently. Despite her resolve against Bilbo going, she still felt the need to defend him. He may not be of hardy material, but he had a quick wit and a good head. When he chose to use it. She understood that he had his limitations, and didn't look like much, but one could never know with these hobbits.

She had met a few who turned out to be bitter and cynical beings that could make even tough weathered hobbit men cry. The few being Bilbo's relatives, the Sackville-Baggins . . . more importantly his cousin, Lobelia.

But she was getting distracted, and narrowed her eyes at Thorin. Nuil raised her chin.

"You do not know Bilbo," Nuil said, concern entering her voice. "I have watched him grow from a young fauntling, I know his ways."

"Do you."

"What is it that you wished to speak of about? Mr. Baggins?" Balin asked, glancing at Thorin. Nuil's brows drew together a frown on her lips. Yes, that is what she wanted to speak about. But she would have rathered it be alone and without Thorin. As much as she was happy to see him, this was something she didn't want him butting in on. But it seemed that he was, and there was no way around it.

"He is in my care, I am responsible for his safety," she said, keeping her eyes on Balin, "his life was placed into my hands and I must ensure that he remains safe- alive."

"He is not your responsibility," Thorin frowned. He did not understand the protectiveness she showed towards the hobbit. But he now knew that this was where she had been living all those long years. She had always refused to give him answers concerning where she was residing, but he knew now.

"I promised Belladonna, his mother, to watch over him. I do not intend to break that promise," she told him seriously with a stern look directed at him. Ah, he understood now. "If he comes you know I will follow."

"You will not." His eyes gleamed, and his face became dark. He would not risk her life, not for all the gold in Erebor. He was already taking his nephews, and had the company to worry about. Mahal, his nephews. If anything happened to them, Dis would have his head. Nuil was to stay safe. The danger of this venture was too great for him to risk her life, he could not bear the thought of her death. Nuil's eyes flashed with anger but she did not retort. He had no authority over what she could and could not do.

If he wanted that kind of power, he should have married her sooner.

There attention was turned when Bilbo entered the hall walking down and away from them. Nuil knew he was going to his room. He hummed to himself, walking rigidly, a trademark sign that he was unhappy. She frowned as he turned the corner.

"It appears, we have lost our burglar," Balin sighed. "Probably for the best. He would be hard pressed to survived the wilds, let alone make it unscathed." He sighed once more, this time more tiredly. "The odds were always against us. After all, what are we? Merchants, miners, tinkers, toy makers, ha. Hardly the stuff of legend. Not any more." Nuil placed a hand on his arm, a frown marring her face. They were the stuff of legend, they had been through so much. She still saw that in the dwarven race. Even though so few did these days.

"There are a few old warriors amongst us," Thorin said, lips tugging at the corners.

"Old warriors," Balin said tiredly.

"I would take each and every one of these dwarves over an army from the Iron Hills. For when I called upon them, they answered." He stood straight now, a proud edge to his voice. "Loyalty, honor, a willing heart, I can ask no more than that."

Balin stood, suddenly understanding what Thorin was saying. "You don't have to do this. You have a choice. We have settled well. You've done honorably by our people. You have built a new life for us in the Blue Mountains. A life of peace and plenty. A life that is worth more than all the gold in Erebor."

"From my grandfather to my father, this-" he held the key up that Gandalf had given to him "-has come to me. They dreamt of the day when the dwarves of Erebor would reclaim their homeland. My grandfather passed this task to my father. The oath- command, is mine to fulfill." Balin stared at the key sadly.

"There is no choice, Balin." Thorin said before looking at Nuil. A pained look lingering in the depths of his blue eyes. "Not for me."

Balin nodded resignedly. "Then we are with you laddie." He clapped Thorin's arm. "We will see it done." The old dwarf then walked away, leaving Nuil and Thorin together.

Nuil looked up at Thorin sadly, wanting nothing more than to comfort him. But she knew that he didn't need it. Didn't want it. She knew that he did have a choice, but he felt bound by the honor of his father and grandfather. Oh, Thror, why did you have to be so greedy, she bemoaned to herself. Nuil wanted nothing more than to see Thorin at peace with his life. This hurt, that affected all of them, remained and had not healed. It lingered like a bad dream, clutching at their lives, a constant reminder of the past.

His eyes turned to her, and her previous thoughts flew out of her mind. Comfort was what he needed.

Slowly she stood and moved before him, searching his face with concerned hazel eyes. There had once been a time where he had smiled freely, she remembered. It had been brief. But, oh, how she wanted that time to return. She wanted to see that smile.

"Thorin-"

"Promise to me that you will not come," he said suddenly, and she sensed an underlying tone of distress in his voice. Nuil saw that he was serious, meaning every word. She saw the softness in his eyes that spoke of the care that he was trying to show her. Nuil shook her head, watching his shoulders slacken, and she felt guilty.

"You know I cannot," she whispered. She raised her hand and rested it on his cheek, feeling him lean into her touch, placing one of his hands over her own. Her thumb rubbed the hairs of his dark beard, feeling the clench of his jaw. Nuil's own fingers grew numb from the warm touch, spreading up her arm. Thorin's hand held hers tightly, before slackening. Nuil slid her hand from his, ghosting over his lips before dropping from him completely.

"I will follow you."

"Nuilweyil."

"I'm not afraid of death, Thorin. I would do anything to fix what can never be undone." To protect you. To protect Fili and Kili. To protect Bilbo. To help reclaim what was once yours. To make you whole. She watched his eyes fill with pain, knowing that she was the cause. Reaching out once more she brushed his jaw lightly before pulling away. Nuil couldn't help but touch him, knowing that this was a rare moment to be had.

Thorin's own hands rose, settling on her shoulders before moving up the slender line of her throat. His calloused hands moving over her smooth skin sent shivers up her spine. Nuil swallowed, but held her hands up to his lips. As his hands halted by her jaw, a thumb on each side of her head resting before her ears, in a grip that tilted her head back so their eyes met, she spoke.

"I will help you reclaim your homeland, Thorin," she murmured, pulse quickening as his thumbs stroked the side of her head. "Though I do not deem it wise, facing a dragon, you have my support." She did not resist him as he pressed closer, her hands still on his lips. "I will follow you, no matter what."

He took one of his hands and moved her hands away from his lips, placing them on his chest over where his heart lay. Silently, watching her, he rested his brow against her own. His eyes shut.

"Mahal help me," he murmured, causing alarm bells to go off in her head. "We are so few, how are we to succeed?" Nuil was frightened by his words. Where was the strong dwarf king she knew? But she knew this side of him, he had never let it speak though. She had seen the doubt in his eyes, the worry. But never had he voiced it. Never to her. Her hands rose to his face, and his eyes opened, searching hers for any sign of condemnation.

"So you try," she said encouragingly. Thorin searched her face for pity. He found none. But Nuil would never call him weak. Never. Never pity him. Ever.

"And to what end do we go?"

"I know not," she whispered in reply. "But as you said before, your company is loyal and willing of heart. They would follow you to whatever end you meet."

"And you?" he questioned softly, gazing into her eyes, watching her hazel orbs intently. He watched a smiled pull at her lips.

"I already told you I would follow you," she murmured, looking at him through her eyelashes. "All the way across Middle Earth and past the Sundering Seas." Nuil watched as his gaze darkened. She only had a moment to breath before he pressed his lips fiercely to hers. A fire filled her veins, and she relished it. Nuil leaned against him, losing herself in the kiss, winding her hands in his dark hair as one of his own clutched at her waist tightly.

They could spend hours together, doing nothing but spending time in silence at each others sides. Nuil enjoyed those still moments, but their kisses . . . she enjoyed the most. Ten years since their last meeting and she still felt as if this was new to her. But never had they gone farther than the standards of propriety. He was a king, and she had been raised well. They had duties. But her mind wandered, to a someday. A someday when she could be his wife.

A someday where they were happy and not plagued by what they faced now. But this was the present, and there was little time for dreaming. Nuil loved him. Yes. Had life been different, maybe they would have been wed by now. But they weren't, so she took what she could receive and gave the same in return. Love.

She broke away, pressing a lingering but chaste kiss to the side of his lips, feeling the pounding of his heart under her hands. Thorin turned her face up, hooking a finger beneath her chin.

"Honor, loyalty-"

"And a willing heart," she murmured, watching as his eyes shined at her words. Tenderness filled his face. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Her own were red and swollen from his administrations.

"So willing," Thorin said quietly, brushing a hand through her loose hair, "is there anything you wouldn't do?" Nuil gazed at him thoughtfully for a moment, before slowly pulling out of his comfortable embrace. She still felt the warmth of his body lingering on her. Raising her hands to his lips, she took a deep breath, a sad look crossing her face. For a moment Thorin thought he had upset her, but then a bittersweet look filled her face and she pressed her lips to his once more.

Thorin wanted to ask her why she was so solemn, when only a few short moments ago she seemed happy. But he would rather have these moments, alone in the darkened corners of a hallway, knowing of what lay ahead of them, than nothing. She gave his troubled and worried thoughts a calm that he could only find in her comforting words. Nuil pulled away, stepping away from him as her fingers lingered on his chest, slipping away as she spoke:

"I would die for you."

Thorin watched her walk away from him. She disappeared down the hall in the direction that the hobbit had taken. Her words shook him to his core. He had spoken of loyalty, honor, and a willing heart, but never did he expect those words to come from her. He knew she loved him, and he her. And whenever she spoke of her devotion it awoke something in him, a thunderous creature in his chest that demanded her kiss her.

But her words were of unwavering devotion.

They shook him.

More than her regular words of love.

Her assurity was resolute, truly meant. There was no lie in her eyes. And it pained him, knowing that she would willingly throw her life away for his. The more he went over her words, the more the ill feeling in the pit of his stomach grew. If she were to die, it would be the end of him. At least when she was away he knew where she was or that she was alive.

He had been completely surprised to see her here. But a part of him was glad.

A heavy weight settled in his chest, and though he was glad to see her well, he wished she had never known. Yet her words earlier had soothed his fears about this quest, for now at least.

Their voices filled the night, echoing through Bad End. Nuil lay in her bed, facing the window. She was sure that Bilbo was still up. But instead of dwelling on the hobbit she listened. A deep harmony that would bring any who had survived the ordeal with Smaug to tears. Her eyes slowly closed, as the song weaved itself into her dreams, of fire and death.

'Far over, the Misty Mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away, ere break of day

To find our long forgotten gold

The pines were roaring, on the height

The winds were moaning, in the night

The fire was red, it flaming spread

The trees like torches, blazed with light'

The beginning of this chapter was a little hard to write, but I think the middle smoothed out a little bit. I'm trying to change some of the dialogue to that it doesn't follow the movie too terribly much. But I mainly kept it that same here with a few added words or phrases. Hopefully I'll get better as I go along. I had to add the song because I love it too much, and it's one of my favorite moments. :P Tell me if anything doesn't make sense!

Thank you to my reviewers!: Just4Me, The Penned Tekrid, Chilled Souls of the Forgotten, Sam0728, and Guest:(since I can't PM you) um, good point. I guess I'm missing stuff like that the more I try to get this out. Wasn't very well thought out there, was it? When this portion is over, I'll go back and flush that part a bit. Thanks!

Also school starts for me tomorrow, so the next update will have to be on Saturday. Sorry, but I won't have all day to write anymore. :'( Next chapter they will hit the road, so it won't be as boring as this was.

Read and Review!

~filimeala