Career Adjustment

Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.

"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.

Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut

a/n: Gomennasai! I had a big project to do for school and some person wasn't doing their work so we I had to pick up their slack after they were kicked out the group.* slightly bitter*

But that's over and I can update regularly again! yay!

Cloud was the last to return to the condo. He'd spent only three hundred gil on clothes and some groceries, which were mostly junk food. When he arrived on his floor, he was hit with the aroma of something cooking. It smelled delicious, and made his mouth water. He hadn't smelled anything this remotely good since he left home. His nose led him to the kitchen, where a pot of something was being heated on the stove.

He set his bags down and scanned the area. It didn't seem like anyone was around so he scurried over to the pot and lifted the top off. It was hearty stew and it really did look and smell like his mother's recipe. He wanted a taste, so he grabbed a spoon and scooped some up. As he eagerly brought it over to his lips, the sound of someone clearing their throat startled him.

He dropped the spoon and went wide eyed at the sight of the person who was entering the space.

"Miss Scarlet…Ma'am," he stuttered. The woman smirked as he placed the lip back over the stew.

"It's not ready yet," she said, flipping he lengthy blond hair.

"Oh um," he said awkwardly, "I'm sorry. It just smelled really good."

She seemingly glided over to him and Cloud tried not to focus on that huge rack coming towards him.

"So do you make a habit of tasting anything that smells good, boy?" his red lips curled back into a malicious grin and Cloud shook his head.

"N-no, ma'am," he managed to get out.

Scarlet had successfully cornered the blond and his back pressed against the door of the panty. She placed her arms on his narrow shoulders as he played with his spiky locks. Cloud's face was beet red. She was so very, very close. He stared to the side, trying not to look at her face or her voluptuous chest.

"Can you smell my parfume?" she asked, he lips now lingering by his ear. He gulped nervously but nodded.

"Do you like it?" The tip of her tongue nipped his ear and he froze. He wondered if she would devour him like the witch from the folk stories in Nibelheim. If he remembered correctly, the woman from the story also wore red.

"Sure?" he responded and she chuckled, her laugh erratic and very unpleasant. She moved closer until her soft breasts were pressed against his body. He bit his lip to cover an embarrassing squeak that would have came out. He never would have thought that he'd be sexually harassed by a woman one day, though he'd always wished; however, his fantasies never seemed this terrifying.

"Well, you wanna taste me too, Dear?" she said darkly. Cloud's jaw dropped and she smirked again. He wanted to flee, but his feet wouldn't move. Her red lips were suddenly moving closer to his face and he wished someone would come and get her off! He didn't want Scarlet to be his first kiss!

His prayers were answered when the woman's body was removed from his. He watched in relief as Tseng gently pulled her away from him.

"Please do not touch people who do not seek it," he lectured. She "hmphed", appalled that he would speak to her like that.

"It was just a joke," she said.

Cloud slowly sank to the ground as he watched her leave. That was absolutely terrifying, but luckily Tseng had arrived. He looked up at the man who had his eyes fixed on the woman in red who was mumbling profanities as she headed to the living area.

"Thanks," Cloud said.

Tseng nodded held a hand out to the boy. "Think nothing of it."

He pulled Cloud to his feet and the youth sighed.

"I thought she was going to eat me," he said in jest.

Tseng offered a slight smile before he turned his attention to the stew brewing on the stove. He opened the top and started to stir it a bit. Cloud had just assumed that Scarlet had made it but it didn't seem that way now.

"Did you make this?" he asked the Turk. Tseng shook his head.

"Actually, Reno made this. I'm just checking on it for him."

"Reno?" he said in disbelief. He couldn't see the Turk doing anything so domestic. He seemed too hard for that. The image of Reno chopping up carrots, and potatoes was very unusual, but it seemed normal to Tseng.

"Yes, Reno," a voice said from behind him. He jumped, startled but Tseng remained calm, as if he knew Reno was there the whole time.

Reno stuck his tongue out at the little blond and Cloud frowned. He wasn't aware of it, but he moved closer to Tseng now that Reno was here, not to mention others were coming.

"I didn't know you were capable of making something like this," Genesis said as he stepped into the large kitchen, Angeal trailing behind him. "I always thought you survived off of crack to get such a healthy figure."

Reno lips formed a snarl briefly before it was replaced with his trademark cocky grin. "And I've always attributed your good hair to the daily dose of SOLDIER cum that gets stuck in it."

Genesis growled at the insult and Reno snickered as he walked around the man and over to Tseng.

"How's it going?" he asked the Turk, but his aquamarine eyes were fixed on the blond by his side.

"It is just about finished," he informed.

Cloud felt really nervous underneath Reno's gaze, even more so than when Scarlet was looking at him.

"Hey, kid," he said.

"Hey," Cloud responded evenly. Tseng covered the stew again and Cloud followed him when he left the kitchen. He didn't care if Reno noticed he was avoiding him, he just wanted to be safe.

Reno smirked at the sight and shrugged his shoulders. Cloud seemed to think that he could depend on Tseng for his safety, and for now he was right. But Tseng couldn't be around all the time, especially when their jobs started. Reno was a patient man. He could wait. His eyes scanned over Cloud's frame until they rested on his beautiful, angelic face. Yeah, he could definitely wait.

"Nice rape face, asshole," Genesis bit out.

Reno tore his gaze away from the lovely blond chatting with Tseng and fixed it on the annoying SOLDIER beside him. God Genesis was so damn irritating. Maybe he'd give him a shock with his EMR.

He ignored the comment, intent on messing with Cloud some more until another blond entered his vision. His attention was then diverted to the SOLDIER Director who looked utterly pissed off, and pissed off people were always fun to be around, Reno thought.

"Hey Lazard," he greeted. The man rolled his eyes as he walked passed him. Reno wasn't discouraged, and followed the man into the kitchen.

"Hey ya smell that. I'm cooking that shit," he bragged. Lazard opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. He turned on his heels and started to head back upstairs.

"You ain't hungry, roomie?" he asked as he followed Lazard.

"No." He responded sharply.

"Ah come on. Ya gotta eat something yo."

"I'm not hungry."

Lazard rushed up to his room, hoping Reno would leave him alone. But of course the red haired menace would never grant him such a mercy and continued to follow him.

"Come on Blondie…" the Turk began, but Lazard suddenly stopped and turned to face him.

"Fuck off! Just leave me alone!" Lazard shouted. He then slammed the door in his face and locked it. Reno could pick the lock easily but he just didn't feel like it. He was hungry anyway so he'd let his roommate be for now.

Lazard breathed a sigh of relief when Reno walked away instead of barging in. He sat down on his bed and proceeded to pull some cover over his shoulders. He sipped at his water and stared at the floor.

Lazard was furious with this whole situation. Only his brother would concoct something like this. He wanted to bash his dumb face in for making him a whore…Angeal's whore to be precise. He had taken a look at all the professions everyone had been assigned and his, next to Rude doing porn, was the worst. His brother even had the nerve to give the Presidential position to some no name.

He was becoming more enraged by the second, his fingers squeezing the water bottle. And to top it all off, Reno had to be his roommate. He'd always despised the Turk from afar but he really never had to interact with him, and if there was a joint SOLDIER/Turk assignment, he almost always requested Tseng. Now he had to stare at the sickeningly bright orange bed.

A light knock on the door drew his attention away from his depressing thoughts.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"Its Genesis and the other two SOLDIERs I guess."

He stood up and unlocked the door to let them in. Genesis eyes instantly fixed on the bed that was the eyesore of the room.

"Yuck," He said, his face twisting into disgust.

"Indeed," Lazard complied and he sat on his bed. Sephiroth stood by the door. Angeal took a seat on his left and Genesis on his right.

"We came to see how our favorite Director was," Genesis smiled. Lazard wanted to return the gesture but couldn't. He was just too upset.

Genesis shot Angeal a worried look and he nodded.

"Lazard," Angeal began. "How are you feeling?"

The blonds' long, narrow fingers were tightening around the bottle, deforming its shape.

"How do I feel?" he repeated. "I feel like I want to kill my brother for doing this. When I see him…"

"I know," Genesis added. "I can't believe that he would do this to me!"

They all fixed him a look. "I mean us." He added.

"It is ridiculous,"Angeal said, "But we will make it through this obstacle."

Lazard sighed. "That's easy for you to say. Your job doesn't require you to suck off old hairy men."

"Gross," Genesis said. Angeal then gave him a "you're not helping" look.

"I will try and do what I can to make sure that doesn't happen, Sir," Angeal smiled.

Lazard looked at him in disbelief. "Whatever, I don't want to talk about this anymore. We only have one more day of freedom until we're sent to hell."

It suddenly got quiet in the room as the weight of what they'd have to do the day after tomorrow weighed on their minds. Genesis cringed at the thought of being a maid. Angeal wasn't sure how he would find the honor in this and Lazard wondered how he was going to get out of it. The only person who didn't seem worried was Sephiroth. Genesis fixed him a glare and slightly gritted his teeth.

Sephiroth didn't have care in the world. He had a nice room in the condo. His job as a secretary wasn't nearly as demeaning as being a whore or in Genesis case, a maid. The red head always harbored a bit of jealous hostility towards the man but who could blame him. Sephiroth was Shinra's poster boy so of course Rufus would make sure he was well taken care of.

Genesis stood up abruptly and walked over to Sephiroth. The man raised a questioning silver brow.

"What?"

"What! What do you mean what?" Genesis scowled. "Why aren't you suffering like the rest of us!"

Sephiroth shrugged his shoulders. In fact, he really hadn't thought about it because he didn't really care. As far as he was concerned, things were going great for him. Even though he was doing secretary stuff, he didn't see anything bad about that. As far as he saw it, he was getting a break from being General. A break from slicing people in two, a break from the reek of battle, and mostly importantly, a break from Hojo's testing on him. The spacious room was nice, with an added bonus of a beautiful man that had offered his virginity to him. So far, he saw no down side to this. He was actually trying his hardest to not grin in front of Genesis right now.

Genesis scanned his bright blue eyes over him and scowled.

"I hate you sometimes," he spat.

"I accept your hatred," he said sarcastically. The other SOLDIER wasn't pleased.

"Asshole," he bit out.

"Genesis, none of this is his fault," Angeal said.

"Be reasonable," Lazard added. Genesis snapped.

"Aren't you guys even a little angry? I mean while he's sitting comfortably at his desk, you'll be on your fucking knees swallowing dick!" he said with vulgarity intended.

"Genesis!" Angeal shouted.

"No, fuck him," he said pointing to Sephiroth, who just stood there staring at him as he ranted. He was used to it by now.

"I have to get dirty cleaning and he gets to sit at a desk and drink coffee all day. Oh the injustice!" he said dramatically.

Sephiroth shrugged and figured he should leave before things escalated. Genesis had a habit of saying things for shock value and he didn't feel like hearing whatever ridiculous shit would come out of his mouth today. He made for the exit and left Genesis to his ranting. Immediately he was glad he left when he did. Tseng was coming down the hall with the little blond kid. He noticed that the youth had been with Tseng a lot since coming here, but he supposed if he needed someone to watch out for him, it would be Tseng.

"Hey," the silver haired man greeted. Cloud was suddenly very nervous and the General smirked.

"Hello Sephiroth," he said politely. "Have you met Cloud yet?"

"Not formally," his feline slitted eyes fixed on the cadet and he extended his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Cloud," he said.

The blond was visibly nervous, but he shook his hand without hesitation and with power behind it. The boy had a measure of confidence, and he was really cute. He didn't look that smart though but that was because of his bias of blonds. Besides Lazard, he'd never met a blond he liked and he was starting to think that principle applied to gingers as well. He liked dark haired men, and a few exceptional dark haired women. The boy was pretty but way too young for his taste. At that, he fixed his gaze on Tseng.

"Where are you heading?" he asked the Turk?

"I'm just walking Cloud to his room. Then I'll probably turn in early. It's been a…" he paused, searching for the right word, "…disturbing day."

Sephiroth nodded. "Sure thing."

As they walked further down the hall, Cloud glanced back to see the General still looking at them, or more specifically Tseng. Did the Turk know he was being ogled? Sephiroth was staring at him with hunger in his brilliant eyes. Those eyes then caught him staring and he quickly turned back around.

"Everything alright?" Tseng asked at his sudden movement.

"Yeah," he said. Just that the Great General Sephiroth is checking you out from behind…

They made it to Cloud's room located at the end of the hall. Unlike the others, his name was engraved in a gold plaque on the door. When Tseng opened the door him for, he didn't know what to expect but it wasn't this!

The space was enormous. There were two levels. The lower one which contained a living area, a nice kitchen and a little breakfast nook. The upper level was actually a loft space, which held his bedroom. Everything was styled in the modern design of the house and there was even a fireplace. The bathroom was huge and contained a tub that could easily fit six grown men…not that he ever wanted that to happen.

"This is amazing," he said, blue eyes scanning the space.

"Well, you are the president now," Tseng reminded him. "You should have the largest space."

"What? My room is bigger than yours?"

Tseng nodded.

"Well, if you ever wanna come over and hang out please do so. Its more than enough space," Cloud said.

"I'll stop by sometime then," the Turk said. He waved goodbye to the blond and shut the door quietly behind him.

Cloud wished he would have stayed longer. He honestly didn't really feel safe when Tseng wasn't around. The spiky haired one didn't have a problem standing up to his peers, but these weren't the bullies from his unit who picked on him for his looks, there were some of the most influential and wealthiest people in the world. He felt awkward because he didn't know how to act around them and after today he sure as hell didn't trust them. Tseng was the only one he could trust at the moment but he didn't want to become too dependent on him. He just had to figure out a way to stand up to them, but for now he wanted to go enjoy the huge king sized bed. He'd never in his life seen a bed so big. Come Monday when he started his new job as president, he had feeling this place might become a haven for him.

Next chapter the jobs start! Who should be first! Thanks always for the hits and comments guys!