Career Adjustment

Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.

"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.

Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut

A/N: Sorry this is so late. It shouldn't happen again since I now have my computer back! Someone had stolen it but luckily I had loJack on my PC so it was recovered! I'm just glad to have it back as I found out I cannot live without my PC...ever.

Waking up at 5:30 am on a Monday was Genesis least favorite thing in the whole world besides the man who was responsible for him having to wake up so fucking early. His phone had gone off at around five, but he'd actually been in bed for a half hour, turning off the snooze button when it sounded. It had gone off three times in ten minute intervals. At around 5:40 am, another one sounded and the SOLDIER grumbled in irritation. He tossed all the covers off of him and sat up straight. He snatched his phone up and flipped it open to turn off the noisy alarm.

He had to be at work at six am and according to the map Rufus had sent him, it would take about thirty minutes to get there by car.

Genesis grabbed his bathing materials and exited his room. He couldn't believe that his room wasn't equipped with a bathroom and that Sephiroth's suite had one. It wasn't fair that stupid Sephiroth got everything. The nice spacious room, the grand bathroom. He even got to share with the attractive Turk leader, while he was going to be stuck with Palmer. He stomped his foot in anger and crossed his arms.

Genesis deserved to be treated just as well as Sephiroth, if not better! With that in mind, he stopped right in front of Sephiroth's door and reached for the handle. He didn't want to use the public bathroom, and the general had a really nice one that he didn't deserve. He turned the knob as quietly as he could and opened the door. It was dark, but he could still see with his enhanced sight. He slipped inside and closed the door behind him.

As he headed to the bathroom, he tossed an occasional glance at the silver haired man who was bundled up in his blankets and sleeping soundly.

"What a bitch," Genesis said under his breath.

When he finally reached the bathroom door, he turned the knob and smirked in silent success. He pushed the door open only slightly before he was suddenly pinned to the ground with a very heavy body on top of him. In a panic, he swung his fist, but the punch was dodged and his arms were seized and held to the ground by strong hands. It was only when he saw the man's platinum hair shimming in the light of the rising sun did he know who was attacking him.

"Get off!" he demanded.

He could see the man above him contort his lips into an amused grin.

"Why are you in my room?" he asked, his deep voice cutting through the morning stillness.

Genesis ignored his question and struggled underneath him. He did manage to get one of his arms loose and he swung it at the man's head. Sephiroth pulled back and Genesis was able to break away temporarily before he was grabbed again. This time he was flipped onto his stomach with Sephiroth pinning his arms behind his back.

"Why are you in my fucking room, Genesis?" He repeated.

The red head growled, then made a face of disgust. "I was trying to take a shower before you interrupted me."

"Oh?" Sephiroth said amused. "And what's wrong with your bathroom."

Genesis made a clicking noise with his teeth that expressed his annoyance.

"You know good and well that I don't have a fucking bathroom in my shithole of a bedroom! Now get off me, I'm going to be late for my job!"

Sephiroth just applied more pressure to the man's bound arms.

"You know, I think I like you like this," Sephiroth said, his feline eyes flickered in the darkness as he scanned over his comrade's form.

Genesis rolled his eyes. "Please Sephiroth, tell me how horny you really are," he said sarcastically.

The general smirked as he brought his lips beside the red head's ear.

"Make sure you send me a pic of you in your new uniform."

Genesis' cheeks went red with embarrassment and rage. He bucked up and struggled to get from underneath Sephiroth.

"Get the fuck off of me!"

Sephiroth chuckled. "You're going to have to buck harder than that to get me off. I know how to stay on for the ride."

"Fucking hell!" the red head spat. He was starting to regret his decision to use Sephiroth's bathroom. It was probably already six and even though he was going to be late anyway, Sephiroth's horny ass was going to make him even later!

Just then, the door to the bedroom opened and the head Turk walked in. He was still dressed in his dark nightclothes and had a cup of hot tea in his hand. With the sun rising, he could easily make out the two SOLDIERs on the ground.

Genesis knew how wrong they must have looked with his back arched and his hips colliding into Sephiroth's who had him pinned from behind, but he could honestly care less what the Turk thought about him. Sephiroth, on the other hand, seemed horrified.

"Tseng!" The silver haired man released Genesis immediately. "Its…this isn't…"

The dark haired Turk ignored the man and took a seat at the little table by the window.

"Tseng," Sephiroth called out as he rushed to the Turk's side. The General wanted to clear things up so Tseng wouldn't think he had a thing for Genesis. He did not want to mess up his chance with the gorgeous Turk.

"That wasn't …we were just…" he tried to think of a valid excuse for why he had Genesis pinned underneath him.

Tseng took another sip of his drink before he looked up at the SOLDIER.

"You do not have to explain anything to me," he said calmly.

"I just don't want you to get the wrong idea about what you saw there."

Tseng shrugged his shoulders. "I'd rather not see you in such a position but I don't see how my opinion should have any bearing on you. You didn't seem to mind disregarding the rules I set."

Sephiroth had zoned out a bit when Tseng was talking. All he was thinking about was how he hoped he hadn't messed up his chance to sleep with the virgin Turk leader.

"So, this doesn't affect our weekend right? You're still ok with it right?"

"I don't see how this incident affects my v-card," the Turk said evenly.

Genesis jumped up at Tseng's words and gasped. Tseng raised a dark brow at Genesis shocked expression. Was it really that surprising that they were having dinner this weekend? He also noticed Sephiroth looked rather stunned as well. Did they expect him to be homophobic? Was that the reason for their surprise?

"I'm not judging you and I have no issue with your preferences. It has no bearing on you taking my v-card on Saturday. In fact, I look forward to it." He said, trying to reassure the SOLDIER, but all it did was cause Genesis to let out a squeal.

"What the fuck!" the auburn haired SOLDIER said. "What the fuck is this about!"

Genesis bounded over to the two men and fixed his stunned gaze on the Turk sitting calmly with his cup of what looked like to be green tea.

"You're gonna let him take your V-card!"

Tseng admittedly was slightly confused. "It's not that big of a deal, really."

Genesis' jaw dropped and he fixed his gaze on the silver haired man beside him.

"Why would he let you… out of all the fucking people in this shithole city on this fuckhole earth, take his v-card!"

Sephiroth smirked as he took a seat in the chair directly across from the Turk.

"I suppose I'm the one for him. Right Tseng? I'm that special someone you've been waiting for, hmm?" he said with a cocky smile.

Tseng shrugged his shoulders. "Well, you did ask me. All I did was say yes."

Genesis gasped and was now so not regretting his choice to use Sephiroth's bathroom. If he had used the public one, he might not have been able to know about such happenings between the two. Sephiroth was going to be Tseng's first and the Turk didn't seem to think it was such a big deal. Genesis was not only shocked, but a bit pissed off. So now, not only did Sephiroth have a great room, a non-degrading job and a wonderful bathroom, he was going to be able to fuck his gorgeous virgin roommate! There really was no justice in the world.

"Well," Sephiroth said through a yawn. "I'm going back to bed. Oh, and you can use the bathroom if you want."

Genesis's lips formed into a snarl at the man's words.

"Fuck you and fuck your stupid bathroom!" he yelled before he turned on his heels to leave, but he paused to throw in one last insult. He stopped by the door and fixed his bright mako blue eyes on the Turk.

"…and fuck you too you whore!"

He couldn't even take pleasure in Tseng's expression because the Turk remained blank faced and emotionless to his words.

"What?" the dark haired man responded, which angered Genesis even more.

He slammed the door behind him and was once again regretting his decision to try and use Sephiroth's bathroom. He pulled out his cell and swore once he saw what time it was. Of course he was already late but now he had to go to work with the knowledge that Sephiroth was having a perfect fucking life right now. He'd think about how to fix that later but he right now he really needed to get to work…but first, he needed a shower and a hot breakfast. He didn't feel like cooking but he knew someone who would do it for him.

"Angeal!"

Genesis arrived at the mansion around eight am, two hours after he was supposed to be there. He exited the car Shinra had provided and threw a tip at the driver. When the car drove off, he stood there facing the massive structure with a scowl.

"If they expect me to clean this huge fucking house they can go fuck themselves with the hard side of a feather duster."

He approached the huge gate and pressed the intercom.

"What?" said a familiar voice.

"Scarlet?"

"Genesis?" she responded. "Where the hell have you been?"

"I'm just running a little late is all," he said, flipping his red locks.

"Are you serious? A little late is five fucking minutes, not two whole hours!" she screeched. Genesis pulled at his sore ear to stop the ringing.

"Bitch just let me in!" he yelled back.

Scarlet grumbled a series of swears as the gates were opened. He walked through the parting iron entrance and waltzed up to the front door…which was only about a quarter mile from the damn entry.

He was more than annoyed when he finally reached the front door. He rang the bell once and leaned against a marble pillar as he waited to be let in.

The door soon opened and he smirked at the sight of the "butler" who had responded. Her normal red dress had been replaced with a black tuxedo and a bow tie. Her long hair was pulled back into a tight, neat ponytail and her heals had been swapped for a pair of black loafers.

"You look like a dike," he said as he took in her appearance. She scowled at the comment, but before she could retort back, Rufus had entered the foyer.

Genesis didn't ever try to contain the look of disgust on his face. The blond was dressed like a god dammed dork…which meant he had gone golfing recently.

"Please don't tell me that this is your fucking house because I will cast death on myself right now and just end it all!"

Rufus frowned. "Stop being so dramatic. This is technically my home, just not right now."

Genesis flipped his hair and sighed. "Well who the hell owns this place then?"

The blond woman beside him outstretched her hand and pointed to the sitting room. He focused on her line of direction and was able to make out the figure of that blond boy. He was slouched on the sofa and was otherwise preoccupied with his phone.

"Who the fuck is that?" the red head asked.

Scarlet licked her lips. "You don't remember him. How could you not remember such a delectable treat?"

Genesis made a face of revulsion at her. "Perverted Bitch."

Scarlet just smirked.

"Well now," Rufus started. He turned to Genesis and handed him a white box. The red head gasped.

"Oh my god is this cake!" he asked excitedly. Rufus shook his head, which disappointing him.

"It's your new uniform. Go get dressed and come present yourself before the master of the house," Rufus said through a grin.

Genesis snatched the box and rolled his eyes. "Master my ass."

The redhead entered the bathroom which was quite luxurious. He marveled at the rich design, the spacious tub and separate shower. This was how he was supposed to be living! He admired his reflection in the floor length mirror and smirked. As shitty as his life was right now, he was glad for his looks. Sephiroth may have everything, but the man looked unnatural, unlike Genesis. His beauty was 100% authentic and he loved it.

The man stared at himself in the mirror and reached his hand out to touch it. Of course the mirror image just reflected what he did, but sometimes he wished that the other image would move on its own. He wanted the inverted Genesis to step out the mirror and embrace him. The SOLDIER pressed his lips against his reflection and kissed his mirror image's lips.

"You are beautiful darling. For you are beloved by the goddess, Hero of the dawn."

After gawking at himself, he turned to the white box and placed it on top of the counter. With dread hovering over him like a heavy storm cloud, he opened the box and he couldn't stop the scream that erupted from his lips.

Cloud jolted at the sound and looked slightly panicked. What the hell was that?

The blond put his phone away and was about to check out the noise when Miss Butler walked in with a wide grin on her face. She had a tray of pastries in her hands as she approached him.

"Would you like a treat?" she said, wetting her lips with a deliberately slow swipe of her tongue.

"Um…what was that scream just now?" he asked, wary of the woman closing in on him.

"Oh that was nothing," she said as she set the tray down and slipped beside him. Even dressed so conservatively the youth was still terrified of her.

"What do you want to eat?"

"Um…" he mumbled. She was leaned so close her large breasts were almost touching his arm.

"Oh, I know what you'd like, Master," she said, practically purring the last part. She then reached over and picked up a lemon cream tart that was plated on a porcelain dish.

"You should try this one." She swiped a bit of cream off the side of the tart with her finger and held it up to Cloud's lips. "Taste some."

Cloud gulped and wished that Tseng was here to help so he wouldn't have to face this woman alone.

"I'm okay," he managed to get out. Scarlet chuckled and her blue eyes flashed with determination.

"Just lick it off, Master," she pleaded breathily. The cream was just a mere inch away from his lips when Genesis barged in looking downright enraged. In fact, he looked so angry that it was only after noticing his expression did Cloud notice what the man was wearing.

Scarlet held nothing back an erupted into an obnoxious laughter that made Cloud think that she may very well be the witch from the tales.

Rufus entered the room from the other side and nodded his head in approval at Genesis' outfit.

"It suits you," he said slyly.

It was a maid outfit, but of course Rufus couldn't just settle for just a boring standard black and white one. The man had went all out for Genesis's uniform and he was quite pleased with the result. The SOLDIER had traded his sleek red guise for a soft blue Lolita maid dress which really brought out his eyes, Rufus thought. The dress cut off just after the knee where a series of white bows graced the hem. A white frilly apron was worn over the dress and tied into a neat bow in the back. White gloves and stockings completed the look, as well as soft blue heeled boots.

"You look like such a bitch!" Scarlet laughed.

Genesis fists clenched by his sides. He hated Rufus with all his heart now and he had already hated Scarlet, but now even more so.

"I think you look fabulous," Rufus commented. "What do you think of your new maid, Cloud?

The blond really didn't want to speak, especially with Genesis looking as psychotic as he did. He felt really uncomfortable with all the attention on him but he managed a response.

"I think…he looks beautiful," he said closed his eyes for the impending beat down Genesis would give him for saying such things, which he really only said out of fear. But when the pain didn't come, Cloud opened his bright blue eyes and was met with the sight of Genesis standing right in front of him. He had a pleased look on his face as he stared down at the youth.

"Well, I suppose I do make everything look good," he said haughtily with a flip of his hair. Pushing Scarlet aside, he plopped down beside the blond youth.

"What do you like about my outfit, or me, in particular?" He said as he picked up a pastry from the tray. With nimble gloved hands, he broke off a piece bread and shoved it into Cloud's mouth with his finger. The blond had no choice but to accept the piece being fed to him, lest he offend Genesis and set him off again.

Rufus smirked at the sight of Genesis force feeding the boy with a smile on his face. Cloud had made the mistake of stroking Genesis' massive ego, and being the epitome of vanity, the SOLDIER instantly took a liking to him.

Scarlet picked herself up off the ground and growled at the sight of Genesis dotting over the youth. She had been interested in the boy first...or second in regards to Rufus. She picked up another pastry with whipped cream on top and sat down on the other side of Cloud.

"Oh you don't want that dry old pasty. What you need is some sweet cream to sate that sweet tooth of yours," she purred.

Genesis snickered. "He doesn't want cream from some old bat dressed as a man."

" And like he wants anything from a fucking pervert dressed as a woman! Ha!" Scarlet exclaimed. "Come now Cloud…Taste my sweet cream."

"No! Have a bite of my delicious baklava, drizzled with golden honey," the SOLDIER said as he pressed a piece of the dessert to Cloud's lips.

"A, um…Mmph!" Cloud tried to protest but Genesis has corked his mouth with the sticky treat.

Scarlet had to have her way as well.

"This cream is sooooo good," she hissed, placing her creamed fingers against Cloud's already stuffed lips. She forced her finger inside next to Genesis' and fixed the man across from her a proud look.

"See, he likes mine better! Kya ha ha!" she screeched, which sent Genesis into a rage.

"NO! He obviously like this better!" he said as he stuffed more baklava into the poor blond's mouth.

"Mmmhm!" Cloud mumbled. With all the food being stuffed into his mouth, he couldn't speak and was too terrified of them both to get up and leave. He looked around for anything or anyone that could help in this situation. His bright blue eyes met another of a darker hue, but as his were filled with fear, the other pair with filled with amusement.

Rufus smirked at the other blond and winked.

"After your breakfast we'll head to the office, Mr. President."

With that, Cloud knew Rufus didn't plan on helping him. Of course he didn't think Rufus would really offer him a hand but he had hoped that the man would take pity on him. Instead, he watched as the other blond become blocked out from his vision by his two cross-dressing superiors who were now directly in his face stuffing sweets into his mouth. He could only wait until the two witches were sated with stuffing him for the slaughterhouse that was Shinra.

Thank you for reading and once again sorry for the lateness.

So, Does Sephiroth have what it takes to be a secretary? Will Reeve be as good with a camera as he is with robotics? And Where is Zack? Hmm...