Disclaimer: I own nothing but the OC's, the rest is the works of J.R.R. Tolkien.
"But maybe you never really had someone, she thought now. Maybe, no matter how much you loved them, they could slip through your fingers like water, and there was nothing you could do about it."
~Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
T.A. 2941
Fili and Kili remained stonily silent the next morning, refusing to even acknowledge Thorin, let alone look at him. They spoke with one another, keeping close and sometimes including the sullen hobbit as the day progressed. Whenever Thorin happened to look back, they were always glaring at him. As if their silent and reproachful treatment wasn't punishment enough- his feelings about the situation were eating at him.
Thorin felt horrible.
Everything was putting him on edge, and he was tired of the glares coming from his nephews. It usually didn't bother him that much when they were mad at him, all it took was a warm joke or an embrace from him and they were all smiles again. This . . . was different. Even the company was doing it, in their own subtly contempt way. Throughout the day they had mostly remained silent since last night's incident.
Even Gloin, the most outspoken against Nuil joining the company, seemed upset. Had they wished she stay behind and not come along? Hadn't they thought it the best? Thorin would've gladly gone to get her, seeing their reactions now, but he had to worry about his men. He couldn't go off after her. Not now at least.
But now she was going to be safe, his mind told him. She would be protected by her brothers.
He glanced at Gandalf, noting with a jolt that the wizard was even glaring at him. Mahal! Was he being condemned by them all? He was their leader, their king, they should respect his decisions. He did what he thought was best. 'What you thought was best, or what eased your mind?' a treacherous part of him asked. He clenched his jaw.
"You all right, laddie?" Balin asked coming to ride beside him. Thorin glance over at the seasoned warrior, somewhat surprised by the lack of animosity.
"Don't worry about me, Balin," he grumbled lowly. "I will be fine."
"They're just upset," Balin continued as if he hadn't spoken. He meant the company and Thorin gave a small nod. "It's only shock, she was always there, but now she won't be. They don't understand why you sent her away. Perhaps they will in time, but not yet."
Thorin said nothing, but silently hoped Balin's words were true.
"You love her, don't you."
It was not a question. He stiffened, keeping his gaze on the path ahead. Balin chuckled. "You don't have to deny what I already see, laddie. I recognize love when I see it. My question is, does she know?"
"I never denied anything," Thorin growled.
"Aye."
They rode in silence for a long stretch, listening to the occasional bird song and watching the trees above them. It was a fair day, a far cry from the rain they had been getting.
"You never answered my question," Balin finally said. Thorin grit his teeth, wishing away the the sensation of his gut twisting painfully.
"No, I don't believe she does."
Balin hummed, a glint in his eyes. Thorin knew that look. The old dwarf knew something he didn't. But he didn't ask. Though is grated on his nerves, and sent his temper spiking. He pressed his lips together in a firm line. His words were not entirely true, but his actions most likely made Nuil's affections towards him turn sour. At least now.
She was leaving again, Fili and Kili wrapping themselves around her legs and begging her to stay. But she couldn't, there was a little lad out there she had promised she would return to for his birthday. His nephews faces fell and they looked at her with tear stricken faces.
"Is he better than us?" Fili asked.
"Oh, no, dearest," she murmured pulling him into a hug. "Like you, he holds a place in my heart, but you will always be on my mind."
"I bet he's better at the sword than we are," Kili mumbled dejectedly, sniffling, no doubt thinking of his lack of skill in that area. A sore spot for the young dwarf. Nuil ruffled his dark locks fondly and kissed his forehead.
"Nay, he wouldn't know which end was which, mimel ze," she replied with a laugh. "He is like a babe compared to you."
"Oh," they said in unison, smiles lighting their faces.
"Please come back soon!" Kili begged as soon as she touched the door. Thorin stood at her side, ready to escort her from the city. Nuil smiled at him, then raised her eyes to Dis as she placed a hand on her sons shoulders. Dis looked well, tired from raising two wild sons, but well.
"I will," she promised.
They walked in near silence to the gates of Ered Luin, before he pulled her to the side. The small secluded alcove shielded them from prying eyes and he grasped her hands tightly within his own. Nuil met his eyes with confused hazel ones.
"Thorin, what-"
"Nuilweyil," he interrupted. He watched her swallow. The white column of her throat pulsing with the movement. He lifted his eyes, suddenly very uncertain. "Would you perhaps think of staying with us-"
She smiled at him. "I've done this, I remained here for ten years before having to leave. I don't understand what you are quite saying."
"I mean," he took a deep breath. He didn't do this, he had never done this before, there had never been anyone that he had even considered doing this with before. Yes, he had thought of marrying Rana, he nearly had, but she had never made him . . . feel like this. It was so much different than the wild abandon he had had with Rana. She wasn't Rana. Watching her with Fili and Kili, it had made him realize that he wanted- "Would you stay, with me."
"Thorin?" she breathed, eyes widening. "What about your people? You told me that you felt-"
"I'm not asking you to do this now," he said. "But when you are ready, Nuilweyil."
A brilliant red blush colored her cheeks, rising up from her throat. "I-I would greatly like that," she murmured. A smile came to his lips, a truly wonderful smile that she mirrored.
"It would please you, to become my wife?"
She shyly met his eyes, "yes." A deep laugh escaped his lips and he held her close to him, elated. It brought him joy to know that she wanted him, like he wanted her. She was kind, and caring, while respecting him and his people. She was strong and of good heart. And he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. His only regret was that he took so long to ask her.
"I will have to ask for your hand from your brothers then," he murmured. She laughed.
"Indeed."
Then he kissed her.
Thorin almost smiled as the memory faded. He should have realized sooner that the lad she was going to was Master Baggins. But he still could feel the joy he had felt that day, when he had asked, the elation of her acceptance. The sadness of her parting. They had never acted on the words spoken that day, but he still felt the same.
She knew he wanted to marry her, but love her? He had never said the words.
Surely she was now of a different mind, angry and resentful of his actions. He had been less than kind as of late. The prospect sent despair through him, slowly eating away at him. She would hate him. He remained in silence for the rest of the day, stewing over his thoughts in silent agony.
He called for camp to be set up when they came upon an open clearing, the ruins of an old house standing in the center. The structure had a large gaping hole along the side and the only thing still standing strong was the stone fireplace. "We'll make camp here!" Thorin called to the rest of the company before dismounting. Gandalf ambled towards the farmhouse, a frown marring his face.
"I used to know a farmer and his family that lived here," he murmured quietly running his fingers over the broken stones. "I think it would be wiser to move on," he said turning towards him. Thorin felt a surge of anger towards the wizard. It was his decision, not the wizards. He approached with a heavy frown.
"We could make for the hidden valley."
"I have told you already," he murmured lowly, "I will not go near that place."
"Why not?" Gandalf asked as Thorin approached the fireplace. "The elves could help us, we could get food and rest, advice!"
Fury flashed through him, the wizard was a fool. "I do not need their advice," he said turning.
"We have a map that we cannot read, Lord Elrond could help us."
"Help?" Thorin scoffed. "A dragon attacks Erebor, what help came from the elves? Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our sacred halls. The elves looked on and did nothing!" Fury rose with each word and he stepped toward the wizard, glaring up at him. Just thinking about those dirty back-stabbing tree lovers made him see red. "You ask me to seek the very people who betrayed my grandfather, betrayed my father."
Gandalf sighed furiously. "You are neither of them. I did not give you that map and key for you to hold onto the past."
"I did not know that they were your to keep," he growled. Gandalf heaved a sigh through his teeth, looking put out and angry. With a shake of his head he turned and stalked away. The hobbit turned to the wizard with worry in his eyes.
"Everything all right? Gandalf where are you going?" he asked holding onto Myrtle's reigns. Gandalf breezed by him.
"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense," he replied.
"And who's that?" Bilbo asked.
"Myself! Mr. Baggins," he yelled. Bilbo's ears turned red and lowered his head. Thorin watched him go, fury still burning in his veins.
"Come on Bombur, we're hungry," he called to the fat dwarf, his gaze swept to the others. He snapped orders to them, jolting them out of watching the wizard stalk off into the trees. "Oin, Gloin, get a fire going. Fili, Kili watch the ponies."
They set to work at his commands, his nephews casting him loath filled looks before leading the ponies away. Thorin sighed. It was going to be a long night.
Her head lolled on her shoulder, wind pulling at her hair as the steady rhythm of hoofs beating against the earth brought her out of her sleep. Her limbs felt chilled but her back was pleasantly warm. As she rocked back and forth, images of last night flashed in her mind and suddenly her eyes flew open. The first thing she thought was: Where am I?
Nuil turned her eyes to the land that was speeding past, taking in her surroundings. She was on a horse, in the middle of flat lands with her brother behind her. She sucked in a sharp breath, looking to see the sun rising in the East. They were going North at the moment.
"You're awake," murmured Nogoth from behind her. She stiffened. How could she forget him? What he did and how- how frustrating he had been. One of his arms was wrapped around her stomach to keep her from falling off, while the other was looped in the reigns.
"You hit me," she breathed with disbelief. She could hardly believe it. In all her years no one had used force to make her do anything. At least not her brothers. They never laid a hand on her when they weren't sparring or mock fighting.
"I believe if I remember correctly, I stunned you," he replied self righteously. "You were getting out of hand."
"Out of hand?" she hissed outraged. "That gives you the right to treat me this way?" He didn't reply. Ah, she had got him. He knew what he did was wrong, he was just too proud to admit it. That alone made her temper spike. Nuil breathed out through her nose with annoyance. "Stop the horse."
He ignored her.
Typical of him.
"Stop the horse!" she said again. She was met with silence. Nuil huffed, gripping his arm tightly. Well, if he wasn't going to stop, then she was going to make him. Nuil would show him just how 'out of hand' she could be. Taking his arm that was wrapped around her waist, she latched onto it tightly and tilted sideways sharply as hard as she could.
Nogoth gave a yell of alarm before they toppled from the saddle. His hands still gripping the reins, pulling the horse flat on its side as it screamed. The siblings rolled, while the horse picked itself up watching its riders with wary eyes. Nuil lay on her back for a moment, breathing hard, regaining her breath. Slowly she rose shakily to her feet, glaring at Nogoth as he pick himself up.
"What in Manwe's name are you doing?" he snapped.
"I'm going back," she told him firmly. His eyes narrowed. "You can't stop me."
She turned and suddenly was knocked off her feet. She latched onto Nogoth's tunic as they rolled, with her landing on him. Nuil pushed him, and swung her free hand at him. He dodged and they rolled again. After several moments of scuffling in the grass, Nogoth had her pinned on the ground, her back pressed painfully into the dirt. His legs locked over hers and he held her hands beside her shoulders.
"Stop this!" he breathed heavily. "This is unlike you!"
"Is it? Is it, Nogoth?!" she shot back, straining against his hold. "How would you know? You must confess that you hardly know what I am like!"
"Don't go there, Nuil," he muttered darkly.
"Why? Because it hurts too much? Because you decided to stay and live where there was peace? Making Nurgon go alone?" She sneered. Nuil knew bringing up bad memories would either made him angry or morose. Both would suit her needs just fine at this point.
"You blame me?" he asked aghast.
"No," she said, "but I blame you for never being there."
"It wasn't my fault!" he screamed. "You forget that I stayed by your side when you came back, took care of you!"
"I know," she said suddenly soft, relaxing under his grip. Nogoth lessened his hold, sighing. "I know and I'm sorry." He frowned.
"There's nothing to be sorry-" SMACK. Nogoth reeled back, letting go of her hands, as pain erupted in his forehead. "By Manwe! Nuil!" He grimaced through slitted eyes, unable to see her reach for him, but feeling her grasp his shoulders.
"I am sorry," she murmured, gritting her teeth.
SMACK.
Followed by a crunching sound.
Nogoth yelled, rolling away from her and clutching his face. He heard her yell as well, "Ah! You have the hardest head in Middle Earth!" He could feel warm liquid oozing from between his fingers as his nose throbbed painfully. He watched her get to her feet, stumbling towards the horse. He reached towards her, pain making his face hurt.
"Nuil," he moaned. "Stop." He shut his eyes, unable to keep them open as his face throbbed. His nose felt like it was on fire.
She was suddenly at his side, pressing a piece of cloth into his hands. "This will stop the bleeding," she murmured before pressing a kiss to his brow. "I am sorry, but they're my family too." Nuil rose up and moved away from him.
"Nuil, wait!"
He watched as she dropped his pack on the ground near him, resting his weapons on the top of it. Her pack was still tightly tied to the saddle. She heaved herself up, finding the height somewhat challenging due to her short stature. But once she was up she looked down at him, sadly and with remorse.
"I'll send the horse back once I catch up to them. You best not follow, brother," she told him before turning away. Then she paused, seeming to hesitate and consider a new thought. Glancing over her shoulder she gave him an impish sort of look. "Give the others my love." She clicked her tongue and the horse took off at a gallop, heading back East. Nogoth watched with wide eyes.
She stole his horse.
And broke his nose.
Long time, no see, huh? I was busy with school and soccer and homework, so I did get sidetracked by that. But I also got writers block for this story again. Mainly because I was reading a fanfiction a couple weeks ago and the author had a part that was really similar to a chapter that I've written and I was like, "That's almost exactly like mine" so I got really discouraged. Avoided writing and editing my chapters because I really don't feel like I'm getting what I want to get written conveyed properly. But I have been sick, so maybe it's just the illness talking.
Anyone seen the new Hobbit: DoS trailer? I know this is old but, I HAVE. :) I can honestly say I am PUMPED. :) :) :) Oh, and before I forget, I will be gone November because I am doing NaNoWriMo. First time ever, so I'm a little nervous. If I do happen to post that month, consider yourself lucky. Okay, on with the show.
Thank you to my reviewers and readers!: sunkissed13, Comis4theFeels, Sam0728, Just4Me, and uno mega. I know I should've posted sooner, but if your still with the story, I will try to more timely with the updates.
Hoping to post soon,
~filimeala