Chapter 4
My plan has two parts. And the second part depends on the success of the first – Peeta has to fall in love with me. But I have no idea where to start because I am completely inexperienced in these matters. No man, other than my father, has ever loved me. I pushed Gale away as soon as I saw an inkling of interest.
However, Godey's Lady's Book is chock full of advice. The writers of the sentimental stories note that men are attracted to women with a neat appearance, a gentle demeanor, and a kind nature. Unfortunately those words do not describe me. I can at best be called sturdy, practical, and hard-working.
But before I can even attempt to alter my entire temperament, my plan goes astray. Apparently my natural charms are greater than I know.
"Rye says the customers are asking about you," Delly says.
"Why?" I am bewildered.
"I told you there are no young, unmarried women in town." She grins. "This will make Peeta jealous."
I hadn't considered that aspect at all. But if jealousy draws Peeta closer, I am all for it because I'm starting to think that I was completely mistaken about his interest in me. That glimmer I saw days ago must have been a twist of light in his eyes because while Peeta is decidedly friendlier, he does not act like any of the smitten lovers in the stories I read to Delly.
"Hello Finnick," Rye calls while I am restocking the shelves before noon the next day. The previous day's train had brought a new supply of goods that must be displayed.
"Who is this?" I hear a voice say and I turn to look. Standing in front of me is the most extraordinarily handsome man I have ever seen. He is tall with golden skin, bronze-colored hair, and sea green eyes. He wears a fine suit.
He walks closer, so close that his eyes are only inches from mine. A perfumed scent hangs in the air.
"Finnick, leave Katniss alone," Rye chides. "You're interfering with her work."
Finnick laughs, his breath warm on my skin. Then he takes a step back.
"Rye, I'm surprised Delly would let you hire someone so pretty," he purrs.
I blush at his compliment, waiting for Rye to explain exactly how I ended up in Panem. But he doesn't. I guess it's because it would make his wife look foolish.
"She's a friend of Delly's," he finally offers.
"Well very nice to meet you Katniss. I'm Finnick Odair." He reaches for my hand and lifts it to his lips to kiss.
I keep my composure, but I am embarrassed at his dramatic gesture.
Rye snorts. "Always the ladies man Odair."
The Mercantile door swings open and Peeta interrupts the conversation. He asks Rye if he can borrow me to watch the bakery while he makes some deliveries.
It's curious because he's never asked for my help before.
"Okay," Rye agrees.
Finnick tips his head to me and I smile back at him, secretly noting that Peeta scowls at Finnick's actions.
I follow Peeta out the front door of the Mercantile and into the bakeshop.
Again, I'm surprised at the bakery's interior. It doesn't look anything like the bakeries at home with their wooden counter and display tables. "Why don't you have a counter like the Mercantile?" I ask Peeta.
Now that I think about it, I have never seen customers coming and going from this store. I've only seen Peeta standing in the yard kneading dough at the table and pulling pans out of the oven. Not that I'm keeping watch over him or anything.
He rubs his hand across his jaw. "I supply the baked goods for the railroad. They sell it to the passengers. The rest goes to the restaurant next to the train station."
"I remember a man selling pastries on the train," I say. "I didn't buy any, but they looked tasty. But so is your bread."
Peeta breaks into a smile and I realize that he is pleased by my honest compliment.
"Thanks. I like your jackrabbits, too."
I grin back. I'd already gone hunting a second time mainly because I needed more fur to make a pillow for Baby Will.
Peeta pulls out his pocket watch and hands it to me. "I just put a few loaves in the oven," he says. "Would you take them out in ten minutes? I'll be back soon." He walks off with a wooden crate covered with a large cloth.
I go out the back door of the bakery and sit on a chair close to the oven. I open the golden cover of Peeta's watch, which features a striking bird with its wings outspread, and look at the time so I can tell when ten minutes will be up.
If the letters from Peeta had been real, this would have been my life. Helping Peeta in the bakery. Likely learning to bake. Taking care of the ovens to be sure nothing burned while my husband was off delivering his goods. I sigh. It could have been a good life. For just a few moments I reconsider my plan.
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Finnick visits the Mercantile everyday. He always greets me and has something amusing to say. I think he makes excuses to see me. Who needs to buy that many pencils?
I mention his frequent visits to Delly. She tells me he is wealthy. That he worked with Rye building the railroad. After it was completed, Finnick struck it rich when he found gold near South Pass.
"He would be a fine catch," she says. "He's building a big house outside of town."
I shake my head and remind her that I only agreed to stay in Panem until she can resume her regular routine.
"No, Katniss. You must stay," she insists. "There are other men in town besides Peeta."
I suppose she imagines I've set my cap for Peeta and in a way I have, although not for the reasons she thinks.
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Several days later I am in the kitchen boiling water to wash Baby Willie's diapers when Rye calls me into the store after he's opened for business.
"I found this on the floor near to the door." He hands me a paper folded in half with my name written on the front of it.
I shove it in my apron pocket because I'm busy. I plan to look at it while the diapers dry on the clothesline.
But I forget. I don't remember about the note until I am reading Delly one of her romantic stories that evening. I reach into my apron to feel the paper. I think about showing it to her, but I don't.
Instead I sit on my bed and unfold the sheet. It is a letter written in a cursive script with beautiful loops and scrolls.
Dearest Katniss,
You have no idea of the effect you have had on me ever since we met. I spend most of my day thinking about you and when I fall asleep I dream only of you.
Your Admirer
I am stunned by the intent behind these words. Judging by the flowery language, I am sure Finnick wrote it. His flirtations are the most direct of any man I know. Is his daily purchase of a pencil a hint that he is using them to write me this love note?
I am tempted to return to Delly's room and seek her opinion. But it's late and I suspect Rye may have retired already.
I can hardly sleep that night. Long ago, I pushed Gale away because I was young and romantic, wanting to replicate the fierce love I saw my parents share. It was clear to me that I could never see Gale as a lover. We were so similar in temperament that he was like a brother. After my parents died though, I came to see the practicality of marriage. I regretted my hasty dismissal of Gale. But it was too late. He had moved on. I knew then that I couldn't afford to be picky if opportunity arose again. That is why I was so willing to come to Panem and marry Peeta, someone who I'd never even met.
But Delly and her sentimental stories have filled my head with all sorts of romantic notions. She has turned me into a starry-eyed dreamer once more. If I am to marry I want it to be for love; I'm not going to settle for a marriage of convenience.
However despite his wealth and fine looks, I could never marry Finnick Odair. Even though he looks and acts like a character straight out of a romance story, I have no attraction to him in the least. His features are too perfect. And his daily flirtations and excessive compliments are strangely disturbing to me.
More than once I've wished Peeta would come into the Mercantile to rescue me from Finnick's romantic advances. On one occasion, I even made an excuse and left the Mercantile in mid-conversation with Finnick to seek sanctuary in the bakery.
A couple of days later I find another letter sitting on the floor when I help Rye open the store. I pick it up before Rye notices and shove it in my apron pocket. It is a busy morning and fortunately Finnick does not show his face. I am beyond grateful.
Peeta comes by and asks his brother if I can watch the bakery for him again. I've done it several times now. After some pleasant conversation, he places his gold watch in my palm like always.
Once he leaves, I position myself in the chair close to the oven and pull out the letter from my pocket to read. It's a second note in the same hand.
Dearest Katniss,
How can I describe you? Radiant as the sun. You are perfect in every way. You have caught my heart in your snare.
Your Admirer
My heart sinks. I glance at the Peeta's watch and see that minutes have passed while I have been lost in thought. I remove the bread from the oven and set it on a shelf inside the bakeshop to cool.
I read the letter one more time then shove it back into my pocket. I am extremely uneasy. It has never been my intention to lead Finnick on. My eyes roam around Peeta's work area as I await his return. A trunk sits in the corner, with some of his clothes folded over it. His bedroll lies propped against a sack of flour.
A sketchbook rests atop the sack. Curious, I pick it up and open it.
I remember that Peeta liked to sketch. Delly wrote about it in the letters. But I am astounded at the detail in his drawings. The landscapes are so vivid. His talent suggests an entire world locked away in him.
I'm studying the sketch of a small bird sitting in the branch of a pine tree when Peeta returns. He clears his throat and I quickly flip his book shut and set it back onto the sack.
I lift my head to meet his eyes, embarrassed about snooping.
He doesn't say anything though. Instead he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me.
I am so flustered by this turn of events that I thrust the pocket watch into his hands and rush past him.
I spend the afternoon dusting shelves in the Mercantile feeling wretched. I planned for Peeta to fall in love with me so I could break his heart. But how can I break it when I find myself falling for him instead?
Author's Note: Gold was first discovered in the vicinity of South Pass City in Wyoming Territory in 1866 and mined there for over a decade.
Pocket watches have been in use since the 16th century. The rise in railroading during the last half of the 19th century led to the widespread use of pocket watches in the United States. Railroad officials were especially interested in accurate timekeeping to ensure that two trains would not be on the same stretch of track at the same time.