'Is it bad that I sit here wondering...
Wondering what it would be like to die?
I do not think so...,
There is always that morbid curiosity about death.
I can feel the darkness descending over me again...,
It clouds my vision, my heart, my thoughts.
A dark cloud,
Impenetrable.
Made worse by events beyond control.
As the darkness descends,
Yet again, I am left wondering...
What would it be like to die?'

After writing..., he didn't feel much better. It was the day after he and Kakashi had been paired together, he was back in his room as school ended half an hour ago. A darker mood had fell. One..., he wasn't sure how to shake. He tried exercising, he tried gaming, he tried music. Nothing was working. He knew what he wanted. He really did. It was simple. Really. A drink. A cut. A different kind of drink. A fight. Something. Something to shake the numbness that was slowly descending, the numbness that would prompt something he didn't want to think about.

He was listening to "Stand up" by Trapt, this song..., this song in particular triggered a memory. Not a good one either.

- Flashback -

He was in the sixth grade. This one kid..., was insulting him constantly, every day. Taking his lunch money, knocking his books from his hands. Until one day, it came to a fight. Obito had been shoved to the ground. And now the kid was taunting him, saying he was a useless screw-up.
Goggles on, eyes welling with tears, Obito swallowed hard, his fists clenching. As the kid went on, Obito stood. He looked up, tears falling inside his goggles. He stalked towards the kid stiffly, his eyes never leaving the other's. The kid never saw Obito's fist until it was planted firmly between his eyes. It was luck that his nose hadn't been broken and the fragments pushed into the brain.
On that day, Obito's anger had been released for the first time. It was like a fire in his stomach, always burning. Sometimes, he couldn't control it, nor did he want to.

- End Flashback -

He had gained better control since then, but sometimes..., he still wanted to let it loose. To hurt those who had hurt him. To make them cry, make them pay. He wanted it badly.
He began writing again.

'I can feel it,
The blood flowing through my veins,
My heart as it beats,
I can almost feel the knife in my hand,
The cool of the blade as it touches warm flesh.
An unforgiving temptation I live with.
Why, do I live then?
I can almost feel the blood as it gushes out of the gash,
The gash I see myself making in my throat.
I can see the blood as it splatters the mirrors,
I can see the smile upon my face as I know I am dying.
I can see my eyes losing their light, oblivion in sight.'

He trembled, ever-so-slightly. The truth, written in plain script. For any to read if they cared to. The truth of him. What he could see when he closed his eyes, or even when he had them open and unfocused. He saw, he felt, he longed. Nothing seemed..., right, except for that. And he wanted it. Perhaps more than anything, he wanted those things.
Sitting there, staring at nothing, he was torn between desire and duty. He could feel it, sometimes, the sense that he was slowly unraveling. His mind, his essence, whatever you wanted to call it, it felt as though all the tears were causing him to unravel. He didn't know what would happen if that became so. It sounded interesting, if slightly scary, but no more so than did dying.

'Pain. Pain in my chest.
Pain in my head.
Pain in my very core.
Being alive is nothing but painful.
Yet I am wanted to live still.
How long can I endure?
It has been years already,
How many more am I expected to force my weary body to continue?
Weary, exhausted, agonized...
It's all the same.
Everyday.
As time goes on...,
It only gets worse...'

Writing once more, he still felt no better. He knew he couldn't have it. But sitll, he dreamt it, he longed for it, he wanted it.
Even..., even thinking of Kakashi, how awesome he was, how he wanted to be the center of his attention in a good way... It didn't seem like enough. Kakashi had barely ever spoken to him. Hardly acknowledging his existence. He wouldn't care in the slightest. Even if he did, what would it change? Nothing. Nothing would change even if he had Kakashi. He would still want, he would still long, he would still be in pain. All he sought was an end to his pain. It didn't matter where the end came from, just so long as it ended.
In honesty, he felt no better, but he laid in his bed, playing Fable Anniversary, attempting to forget, to lose himself in the world that was Fable.