Kitty: hello again everyone! Before we get started, I want to just mention an important issue going on right now.
Penguin: here we go...
Kitty: [ slaps him ] shut up.
Penguin: [ sobs hysterically ]
Kitty: anyways, there's been quite a bit of people that I know that just aren't happy doing anything and wish they could die. Maybe some of you are like that too. Not to bring down the mood or anything by mentioning this, but it has to be said. If you feel unimportant and wish you were just dead, PLEASE DO NOT THINK LIKE THAT. I am one hundred percent here for you and there are sure as hell so many people on this Earth who would miss you.
Eastin: what does this have to do with anything?
tragic backstory time
Kitty: over spring break, one of my closest friends tried to kill herself. Twice. She is still alive, but barely even hanging on anymore, and I hate it. I don't want this happening to anyone else.
Penguin: quit with the depressing mood!
Kitty: sorry! Let me continue with your usual happy-go-lucky story! This request is from lmncake.
*continues to laugh at the ending* Haha... Sorry Kitty. Seems like I got caught up in your story once again. Anyways, this chapter was wonderful! With smut too. *wiggles eyebrows* So, since you are now done with this chapter, I got some dares waiting for our wonderful hosts... *sadistic grin*
Haruhi: Give a 3 hour lap dance for Mori.
Kyoya: Touch yourself.
Hikaru: Try to rap like Jay-Z.
Kaoru: Listen to Black Veil Brides: Kinves and Pens. Then, dress up like them.
Tamaki: Play Slenderman.
Honey:... I got nothing.
Mori: Uh... Try to be seductive to everyone?
Sorry for the really crappy dares. I'm as tired as hell. Remember to update...
Kitty: hm. I fear I may have done something like Kaoru's dare, maybe in the previous chapter? So sorry to screw something so simple up. Anyways, shall we begin?
Haruhi: [ wide eyed ] no. Let's not begin.
Mori: [ sits down and waits patiently ]
Kitty: [ puts on 3 hour long soundtrack ] you go until the music ends.
Haruhi: [ sits down on his lap ]
Kitty: [ hits play ]
Haruhi: [ begins expertly lap dancing ]
Kyoya: what does she mean by 'touch myself'? [ touches shoulder ]
Tamaki: don't play dumb, Kyoya. You were touching yourself yesterday when we were-
Kyoya: SHUT UP. NOW.
Tamaki: [ quivers in fear ]
Kyoya: [ sits down and unzips pants ] do I have to do this in front of all of you?
Kitty: well, no. [ snaps fingers, two-sided mirror appears so they can see in but he can't see out ]
Kyoya: [ doesn't understand the concept ] thanks.
Kitty: no problem!
Tamaki: [ watches, mouth watering ]
Kyoya: [ rubs his dick ]
Tamaki: [ licks lips hungrily ]
Kitty: oh my freaking God. Just get in there with him instead of staring at him like a pervert. [ snaps fingers, Tamaki joins Kyoya ]
cue heated makeout session that ends with the glass barrier being broken
Hikaru: I get to rap now?! Sweet!
Kitty: you're white, remember.
Hikaru: so is Eminem.
Kitty: let me rephrase that. You're a ginger, remember.
Hikaru: [ huffs ]
Kitty: now I'm not the biggest fan of Jay Z, so I'm going to just pick a rap song that I think won't be too difficult for you. You're going to rap... [ cue lightbulb ] DON'T DROP THAT THUN THUN THUN!
Hikaru: WHAT?!
Kitty: c'mon, I'll get ya started. Rap with me: don't drop that thun thun thun...
Hikaru: AYYYYE DON'T DROP THAT THUN THUN THUN! [ raps the whole thing without sounding too bad ]
Kitty: huh. Not bad, bro.
Hikaru: [ chuckles and shrugs ] what can I say.
Tamaki: what's Slenderman?
Kitty: here. Just try it. [ hands him a laptop with Slenderman on ]
Tamaki: it looks dark and scary!
Kitty: you don't even know.
Tamaki: [ sits down at the table, puts on headphones ] how do I?...
Kitty: [ starts the game for him ]
(A/N: This part would be much easier to do in paragraph form, so that's why there's a sudden format change.)
Tamaki started hitting random buttons, sending his view shooting to the stars in the sky and back down to the surprisingly detailed grass. He waved the flashlight around and screamed "SOS!" but to nobody's surprise but his, no help visited him. Thus he began his journey through the weird forest.
"Why should I even be looking for pages?" "Stupid stupid stupid..." "WHAT WAS THAT." ("That was my breathing, Tamaki," a panting and flustered Kyoya replied, who had not given up on touching himself just yet.) "I FOUND A PAGE! YAY! AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME, MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER?!" "That's two! How many are there?" "WHAT IS THAT DEATH DRUM. IT ISN'T VERY HAPPY AT ALL." "Mommy, play nyan cat!" ("Why, Daddy?") "IT SOUNDS MORE CHEERY THAN THIS STUPID DEATH DRUM!" (cue nyan cat music) "Ahh that's better." "MOMMY. MOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMY THE SCREEN IS GLITCHING." "RUN, LITTLE BOY! RUN FASTER!" "THIS IS TERRIFYING! I HATE YOU LMNCAKE!" "AHHHHHHH WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" ("You died, Tamaki.") "I AM VERY MUCH ALIVE, MOMMY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH."
Thus ends Tamaki's interest in horror games.
Mori: [ walks up to Kyoya ]
Kyoya: yes?
Mori: [ takes sparkles out of back pocket and throws them at Kyoya, then whispers ] seduction.
Kyoya: what the- [ gets hard randomly ]
Mori: [ does this to all the hosts ]
Other hosts: [ get hard without being able to control it ]
Kitty: well you guys, I hope you enjoyed this chapter update. Thanks so much for reading. I hope to have a new fic coming out soon, I just have to smooth out the edges a bit. Don't forget to review!