It was approaching dusk by the time they left the cave and the girl-child turned to xhir as if to ask where they were going to go. Suel had no trouble moving through the night but the girl-child was looked tired, no matter what she said in protest.
"I'm just as tough as you," she said, steeling her eyes shut and scrunching up her face in deep concentration. As she focused, her skin waivered and changed tone for a moment before shifting back to its normal pinkish red color. "See? Just like you!" she said with a great big smile.
Suel frowned. "No," xhe said without another thought. They went on for a ways longer and when xhe looked back at her again xhe found that some of her memories were dancing on her skin, as was true after any proper shift, however short the shift may be.
"Perhaps, after all," said Suel, as xhe glanced over the memories. Most of them were from her time swimming in the cave, but several others came from a prior time, back from when the girl-child's mother was alive.
"Come and learn," said Suel, gesturing with xhir claw to come forward to xhir.
The girl-child didn't move other than to lean forwards to xhir. "Learn what? More shape-shifting?" she asked with big smile.
"Name,' said Suel.
The girl-child was at xhir feet in a shot. "The shaman needs a big ceremony to give a name. Are you going to do a big ceremony?" she asked eyes wide.
"No," said Suel as xhe prowled around her. A few of her memories still danced across her skin, many of them had faded away again and so Suel could gather no more from than xhe could before. Xhe sent xhir sense out and tried to see if xhe could catch more of her memories that way but there was no such luck. Xhe found a few deeper aspects of the memories that danced across her skin, but nothing substantial that added to xhir knowledge of her.
As xhe watched the memories dance across her skin, xhe saw that they were returning to a central location in her body. Xhe followed of the memories and found that it had settled back into a singular point in her mind before it began to flow through her again. Xhe tried to delve into the point a few times but whenever xhe tried to touch it xhe would flow away from it, repelled by the current of will that guided the memories through her body.
Xhe sat back on xhir haunches and watched as the rest of her memories sank back into their respective homes in her mind and resume flowing with their brethren. Xhe looked at the girl-child, examining her memories for a point of weakness and was surprised to find that there were none.
"Have you figured out my name yet?" asked the girl-child as she started to wiggle where she sat and play with her feet.
"No. Hush,' said Suel, starting in another circle around her. The memories had all withdrawn from her skin and had returned to the point in her mind, sealing it tighter than anything xhe'd ever seen although her emotions continued to flow out from it. A thought occurred to xhir.
"Shift again," asked Suel as xhe watched the point in her mind.
"Will it help?" asked the girl-child, looking up from her toes and into xhir eyes.
"Yes," said Suel.
The girl-child squirreled her eyes shut and the patterns of memories began to dance across her skin once again, sending ripples of change wherever they went.
Suel took only enough time to confirm that she was indeed shifting before xhe delved into her mind again.
The pinpoint of memories had come, if not undone, then loosed, like a knot that had been fed more rope. Xhe delved into the pinpoint and saw the swarm of memories flow around xhir and watched her life unfold in front of xhir.
It began with incomprehensible noises and flickers of shadow and light, crashing and careening into each other with no rhyme or reason. As time went on, the noises and images grew ever more stable with the aid of the girl-child's mother (mummy) and another, older woman (gammy) who soon vanished from the surge of memories. Xhe watched as the girl-child's mother (mummy) helped to teach the girl-child (self/Mai) how to walk, how to run and how to hide.
Xhe saw her mother (mummy) always set up fire pits (home/safeplace) the furthest from everyone in her herd (EagleClan), no matter what the time or occasion was (sadness/longing/confusion). Xhe watched as the other girl-children and boy-children of her herd (playmates/hurtfulones) rejected her out of hand (confusion/longing/sadness) in an apparent imitation of their own parents' (mummies/daddies) rejection of her mother (mummy) and her.
A nightmare rose up in her mind and an image of xhirself (demon/horror/fear) came to pass. Xhe saw her herd (EagleClan) turn tail and run, putting all thoughts of how strange (witchery/evil) they (family/mummy&me) were behind them. They continued to run as xhe (demon/horror/fear) came ever closer to them until the confrontation in the cave (darkplace/deadplace/changeplace).
The pinpoint of memories shuddered and began to seal. Suel worked faster, flying through the rest of her memories as xhe tried to find a single, central aspect of her being, one that might stand for who she was as 'Suel' stood for who xhe was. As the pinpoint closed and forced xhir out, xhe saw other things working in concert with the memories, aspects of her that until now xhe'd rejected as being a true part of the body.
Her fear, love, courage; all of the various parts of men that would have been just another meal for xhir under other circumstances were now shown to be as deep a part of her as xhir memories were to xhir. True, they were regenerative and delectable, but they were important nevertheless. So while Suel on the verge of leaving her body, xhe took in everything xhe saw and in that moment, xhe knew her, perhaps better than she knew herself.
"Are Boh," xhe said to her and settled down onto xhir paws to rest. Or rather, xhe tried to settle down onto them. It was then that xhe realized xhe felt different than before. Xhe was still Suel but there was a hint of something else there now as well, something that had not been there before. Xhe felt smaller, more vulnerable; xhe felt, for the first time in the long time, changed.
"Look different," said Boh, dripping with sweat and taking deep gulps of breath as she reached to touch xhir. The memories of her shifting danced across her skin in more vivid lines than before. It showed hints of what Suel now knew was her true name and nature while still concealing it within a mountain of flesh.
Suel reached to touch xhir own face and found that xhe had been reshaped while xhe'd explored the pathways of Boh's being. Xhir hands were hers and as xhe felt at xhir face xhe found that it was hers as well. Xhe had taken on her form.
Xhe sighed and began to shake it off, beginning the shift back to xhir preferred form. Xhe'd gone to all fours and had begun to shift when xhe saw Boh step back with a look of what xhe now realized was a mix of surprise and fear on her face. Xhe considered shifting anyway, but in light of xhir new understanding, xhe decided against it. Xhe'd found her name and that made her xhir responsibility until such time as xhe could find a better caretaker for her.
Instead, xhe drew on the faded images of the males from her herd and molded xhir body after them, adding bits of a few of xhir preferred shapes as xhe went. Xhir body lengthened and stretched until xhe towered over Boh, muscles thickening and bulging outward as xhe grew. Only when xhir arms were thick as tree trunks and xhir legs were elephantine in their girth did xhe stop shaping xhir body.
As for xhir hair, since Boh's kind didn't have fur coats xhe just did the best xhe could. Xhe grew out the hair on xhir face until it went midway down xhir chest, bristling it out as it grew. The hair on xhir arms grew shaggier as well, until xhir arms were awash with a dark black hair. Xhe considered growing out the hair on the top of xhir head until it too was a long shaggy thing but in the end xhe decided to go the other way and made it hairless instead.
Xhe was quite pleased with xhir new form; sure that it would strike fear into the hearts of all who met xhir. Xhe may not look bestial anymore, but xhe would at least be intimidating.
"Shouldn't you cover up? We're always supposed to cover up," said Boh as she looked over xhir new form.
"Why?" asked Suel.
"Because everyone else says we should," replied Boh.
"No real reason," said Suel as xhe began to saunter towards the traces of fear her tribe had left behind when they'd run from xhir a few days before.
"Well, mummy always said we should cover up or they'll think we're bad," said Boh as she ran to catch up with xhir.
This gave Suel pause, more so than before xhe'd delved into her memories. Boh's mother was a stalwart defender of her and so if she thought that clothes were important, xhe would at least give her some measure of comfort.
Her memories had imperfect recollections of what males wore, so instead xhe sharpened one of xhir new fingers into a long blade and sliced open a part of xhir hand. Xhe caught the fear essence as it bled out, using part of it to seal up the wound. For the rest of the essence, xhe spun out the fear and wove into it xhir memories of the warriors from the cave. Xhe took some time meshing and combining items until they were a unique mimicry of what they'd worn.
It didn't take long to put on the clothes as the memories in them knew where they should sit on xhir, correcting and prodding xhir in the proper direction when xhe was wrong.
"Better?" xhe asked, spinning a bit so that Boh could see the complete ensemble.
"You need a spear too," said Boh after a she'd looked it over.
"Need no spear," said Suel, crossing xhir arms in a firm rejection of the notion.
"The warriors all have spears and you want to look like a warrior, right?" countered Boh.
Suel grumbled but opened the wound again and let a few more drops of fear essence fall out. These xhe did not strip the fear from. Instead, xhe gathered up the fear xhe'd stripped out before and added it as xhe lengthened the droplets into a mighty weapon. When xhe was finished, it rumbled in xhir hands and vibrated with furious purpose, howling into the wind when xhe gripped and slammed it into the ground.
"There," said Suel, offering it out to Boh for her to examine.
"It does look like a spear," she said as she brushed her hand along it. "But it doesn't feel like a normal spear," she added, jerking her hand away as if it was a beast that was about to bite her.
"Better then," said Suel as xhe hefted the spear upwards. It cried out for release, begging to be sent at a target, so Suel hurled it at a tree on the distant horizon. It left xhir hand with a loud crack and slammed into the tree a moment later, splitting it down the middle where it hit. Suel then raised xhir hand and the spear returned to xhir. Suel picked out the few pieces of tree that had remained on the spear and tossed it into the air a couple of times before xhe was sure of it.
"The spears the warriors in my clan use can't do that," said Boh as she looked at the spear with wide eyes. She reached out to touch the spear again but jerked her hand back when she got close to it and instead just looked at it.
"How terrible," said Suel as xhe looked xhir spear once more and grinned. While xhe could see no need for it in xhir preferred form, in this shape it might be useful, poor and defenseless as it was.