Chapter 11
Saturday the 20th had arrived. The church was packed, the congregation was having to stand at the back to squeeze everyone in. Erica was anxious for it all to go according to plan. Everyone was well rehearsed but nervous. She too was very nervous for she had not played in public for many years. But nevertheless was also looking forward to it.
"Everybody ready?" she asked.
"Yes," came the reply.
"Then let's go."
Erica led them into the church and walked over to the organ and sat down, while all the children went and stood in their places. When they were all together they took their seats. Father Phillip was the last to walk in and went straight to the pulpit.
Addressing the congregation he said, "Thank you everyone for being here today. I hope you will enjoy our musical concert which we have planned for you. There will also be a chance for you all to join in with us, but I will give you notice of that when the time comes. You will see your children performing as you've never seen them before, thanks to the finest endeavours of our organist for today Miss Erica Adams."
'Thank you,' Erica mouthed.
Two sets of eyes looked at each another. Except for the red hair both were positive they had found their runaway.
"Just one more thing before we begin. I wish to let you know what we have raised $500 for this event from the sale of the tickets, which will be going toward the restoration of this church and for which I am so very grateful, thank you. Now let us begin. Over to you Erica."
Erica gave Father Phillip a wide opened-eye look, and smiled.
"Oh excuse me. We will begin with our opening hymn for all to join in. Number 124: Praise my Soul the King of Heaven."
The music began and the congregation sang. What a joyous sound it made within the confines of this church. Then came bible readings from the children, telling the story of David the Shepherd Boy who became a King, followed by a hymn for the children to sing: Jesus Loves me, this I know…
The concert continued on as organised, including Ramone singing Schubert's Ave Maria. The congregation had never heard anything like it before. His parents were so proud of him. And then the congregation began singing: All Creatures of our God and King.
Following this, giving everyone a break from singing, Erica performed Bach's Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring. Erica felt such a feeling of joy herself.
The children came back with more songs followed by the quartet of harmony singing in which Erica participated. The concert was drawing to its close with one more hymn for the congregation to join in: All people that on earth do dwell.
Father Phillip finished with a prayer of thanks.
As the congregation began to depart Erica played softly and very slowly Liszt's Liebestraum (Nocturne No 3).
It was over and Erica had to try very hard not to cry. Eventually there was nothing but childrens voices talking all at once and laughing with excitement at what they had achieved. Erica told them how wonderful they all were and congratulated them on the concert's achievments. There was a lot of hugging and kissing. Then Erica told them to calm down and make their way to their waiting parents outside and home.
When all of the children had gone, Erica went back into the church and sat at the organ. There was quiet all around her when Father Phillip came up to the organ.
"How are you feeling now it's over?" he asked, leaning over the top of the organ.
"Didn't they all just perform wonderfully. It was a great success for you Father and I'm glad I was able to help."
"You look as though you have been crying. Are you alright?" he asked, concerned.
"Oh yes. Just a little emotional. I just love church music and singing."
"Brought back memories eh?"
"Hmmmm."
"I shall be oh so sorry to see you leave us tomorrow. I'll miss you." Father Phillip said in a slightly questioning way as if to persuading her to stay.
"I made a promise to only see you through the concert and leave the next day. I can't stay any longer Father, I have a task to complete which means I have to move on. I'm sorry Father, but I know you will be able to move on yourself now that renovations can begin with the money collected here today. You must also continue to organise more events like today. Weren't the children wonderful?" Father Phillip smiled in acknowledgement.
"I've told Ramone to encourage the other boys in their singing for as you know his voice will be lost to you soon, so you need to find replacements and that's what Ramone and I have been working toward this last week. I sincerely hope that things will turn out all for the good for you Father, as I know it will."
"Can I ask you a personal question Erica?" Father Phillip asked, taking a deep nervous breath.
"I'm not Catholic if that's what you want to know."
"No its not that. I am concerned for you journeying on on your own. You seem a little cast down if I may say so."
"Well, yes I am a little. Leaving you all will be quite a blow for me. In just a short time I have come to like it here very much. And as for travelling on my own, I'll be fine. Been doing it for some time now."
Father Phillip seemed a little more nervous. "I was just wondering if you believe in God be it in any religion to see you safely on your journey?"
"I don't think I should answer that Father." Erica said with eyes cast down.
"Why not?"
Erica sat silent for a moment, then said "I don't think you'd like my answer."
"I've heard many different answers to that question and nothing would shock me now."
"Well…well… you see Father… I… We … That is … I believe there is a God but He and I parted company some time ago." Erica said while trying to hold back tears. "I thank you for your concern but I'm not one to discuss my feelings with anyone. No offence Father."
"None taken Erica. But there must have been a very good reason, for you obviously cared for him to begin with." Father Phillip looked over toward the pillar behind Erica and up again toward the ceiling of the church saying a silent prayer of forgiveness.
"There is Father, but none that I can share."
"Erica if you could relieve this burden you can tell me for it would go no further." I would like to be able to help you if you have a problem."
"It's … just … " Thoughts of her past were coming to the fore again and bringing with them tears and she tried hard to deny them their falling but she was failing in her fight. "He …He …. He abandoned me when I needed him the most. I prayed that night, the hardest I'd ever prayed. I even begged and pleaded, but He didn't hear me. He just turned his back and walked away. I realise one should never pray for things for themselves, but that night I did which is why, probably, He left me alone." Tears fell unchecked now.
"Go on my child" Father Phillip said, knowing how hard this was becoming for Erica.
"God has been punishing me ever since, even up to today."
"That can't be so."
"Oh but it is Father. I learned something that night, something which I had been told all my life but never believed. But that night I believed it."
"And what was that Erica?" Father Phillip asked wondering where on earth this was leading to.
"That I'm a bad person and always have been."
"No, no. That's not so"
"Oh yes it is Father. Believe me." Erica was trying to control herself, and then said, "Father may I ask you a question?"
"Of course my dear, anything"
"Is it …is it… possible … for someone to do bad things and not know it?"
"I don't believe it is. Everyone knows right from wrong. Whether they choose to live by the right rules is up to them." Father Phillip answered with a questioning look on his face at the extraordinary way this was going. He could feel the hurt inside Erica and wished with all his heart that he could help her through her troubles.
"Father" she said slowly and quietly, "I think you're wrong. Except for one time, just recently, I did
something very bad, only this time I knew it." The tears were now uncontrollable and her mind relived her recent performance at the Ponderosa.
"Just what on earth could you have done that would warrant God's punishment?" He reached out and took her hand in his.
"I … hurt … some people … very badly. I had no other choice."
"But God wouldn't have allowed you to do what it was that you have done."
"But is was God." she almost shouted, "He created the situation that made me act the way I had to. He planned it all, just to punish me. And he has punished me well this time."
"This time?" Father Phillip was becoming increasingly concerned for her wellbeing.
"I behaved disgustingly, told a great many lies, stole and touched things that didn't belong to me. This has been my most severest punishment to date."
"Why did you behave so?"
"I'd like to hear the answer to that one too" came a firm, dark voice from behind the pillar.
She recognised the voice at once and her tear stained eyes looked straight into Father Phillip's.
"Oh Father, you tricked me." She sobbed.
"I'm so sorry my dear, but I'm trusting it may do some good … for you. I must now make my peace with God. Forgive me Erica." Father Phillip placed his hand on her cheek, then silently left them together.