Career Adjustment

Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.

"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.

Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, smut

Angeal awoke to the sound of his P.H.S. vibrating loudy on the side table beside his bed. He grumbled as he reached out to grab it quickly, hoping the noise hadn't disturbed his sleeping roommate. He flipped it open and read the message.

Hey. Your only job in the world today is to keep Sephiroth from banging Tseng. You have the day off, but not really.

Angeal sighed and closed the device. Sephiroth was starting to become the bane of his existence. First the man had been all over Genesis, now his new target was the respectable Turk leader.

It wouldn't be the first time Angeal was tasked with reigning in Sephiroth, especially during long periods of idleness. It was Genesis who first noticed the pattern in Sephiroth's behavior. When there were plenty of missions and battles to be won, Sephiroth was conservative in choosing bed partners. His behavior became erratic in moments of peace. He would fight more aggressively during trainings and he'd desire sex constantly. Angeal figured it was probably a response due to the lack of stimulation during down time.

Even still, Sephiroth needed to be dealt with before someone got hurt or in this case, fucked. At that, Angeal rose from his warm bed and headed to the bathroom to start his morning routine. He dressed simply, wearing a white T-shirt and track pants.

He headed downstairs after he finished, feeling hungry and hoping Sephiroth would pass through so he could intercept him. Lazard was already in the kitchen sitting in the breakfast nook drinking a cup of coffee. Oddly enough, the person who sat across from him was Palmer. He'd been told the man had made a brief appearance, but disappeared shortly after.

"Good morning, Palmer. We were wondering when you'd show up."

The man grumbled and shook his head.

"I don't want to be here," he said. "I don't want to be Reeve's assistant! I don't want to share a room with that drama queen! I want to go home, but I can't! Gaia damned scientists."

Angeal wouldn't have said anything if he knew it would rile Palmer up so much.

"Oh, shut up!" Lazard snapped. "All you have to do is make sure the picture is in focus, meanwhile I'm at the Honey Bee Inn trying to avoid being fucked by men that look like you."

"Lazard, please," Angeal pleaded. When angered or annoyed, Lazard's fierce tongue could cut through diamonds.

Palmer made a look of displeasure at Lazard's words before he retreated from the table to sit in the living room.

"You could have been more sympathetic," Angeal scolded as he grabbed the bagels from the bread box.

"Shut up, Angeal. I'm in a mood most foul," Lazard bit back.

Angeal decided to drop the subject. He pulled apart the sides of his bagel and put them in the toaster. Normally he'd make more, but since Genesis had left early, he didn't have to make two servings.

He was in the process of spreading cream cheese on his bagel when the elevator chime sounded. He barely had time to register what was happening as a whirlwind of silver rushed in.

"Oh, shit!" Angeal swore as he dropped his breakfast and bolted after the silver haired beast. He hated when he had to chase Sephiroth. He was faster than him, but Angeal pushed himself to the limit in order to grab the collar of his jacket. Sephiroth recoiled back like a dog that had it's leash yanked by their owner.

"What the fuck, Angeal?" he spat heatedly.

"Where are you going?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.

Sephiroth tried to slip out of Angeal's grip, but he wouldn't relent. He scowled at being handled like a child.

"I was just going to the bathroom," he lied.

"You passed three bathrooms already."

"I wanted to use the one in my own fucking bedroom."

"You're sure you're not in a hurry to see a certain Turk?"

Sephiroth frowned and shook his head.

"No, I'm not. I mean, I might run into him of course. We do share a room," Sephiroth said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Rufus told me you're trying to sleep with him."

Sephiroth looked at Angeal's face and came to the conclusion that he probably wasn't going to be able to talk his way out of it.

"Ok, fine. I was going to see Tseng, but he did tell me he wanted to fuck! I'm not doing anything wrong!"

"We'll see about that,"Angeal said as he started to drag the General down the hall by his collar.

When they reached the door, Angeal knocked twice.

"Tseng, are you in there?" he asked. When he received no response, he opened the door a bit and peaked in. He didn't see him and walked in fully.

"I guess he isn't here," Angeal said.

"Fuck. I ran all the way over here for nothing. I should have called."

Angeal released Sephiroth once he deemed he wasn't going to attack anyone.

"I wonder where he is? Rude said they didn't have to work today and I didn't see him downstairs."

Just then, the water started running in the bathroom. They both looked towards the door and then at each other. Angeal cursed himself for letting go of sephiroth so soon. Just as he predicted, Sephiroth started moving towards the door. Angeal reached out to grab him, but he dodged and ran towards the bathroom. Angeal turned in pursuit of Sephiroth, but wasn't able to reach him before the man turned the knob.

"No!" He shouted as the door opened. Suddenly, Sephiroth stopped and Angeal tried to avoid running into him, but it was either run into the wall or Sephiroth. He reluctantly choose to crash into the General at the last second. The collision caused them both to fall forward and Angeal toppled on top of his comrade.

As he started to come to his senses, he could hear the faint sound of Sephiroth speaking in low tones. He picked himself up and rubbed his head.

"Sephiroth are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes. More than okay."

Angeal was confused until he realized what Sephiroth meant. He gasped when he saw Sephiroth had a very naked, very unconscious Turk pinned underneath him. The impact must have knocked him out. Angeal hoped they hadn't given him a concussion.

"Sephiroth, get off of him!" Angeal yelled.

The silver haired man ignored him, and licked his lips as he hovered over the gorgeous being below him. His eyes scanned over Tseng's slender form with obvious approval. He wanted to devour the man right then and there, but Angeal was already pulling him off the Turk.

Angeal knelt down beside Tseng's head and tilted it slightly as he checked for injuries. He didn't see any blood, and sighed in relief.

"I think he's okay, but we can't leave him on the floor like this," Angeal said.

"I'll carry him to the bed then," Sephiroth suggested. Angeal shook his head.

"I will carry him," he stated. His distrust of Sephiroth's intent apparent in his tone.

He turned off the shower before he scooped the Turk up bridal style and proceeded to carry him to the bed.

"Which one is his?" he asked Sephiroth.

"Um, this one," he said pointing to the unmade bed. Angeal rolled his eyes and placed Tseng on the other perfectly made bed. He figured the neat one was Tseng's, but he wanted to see if Sephiroth would tell the truth. He didn't, of course.

Angeal covered his nudity with a fleece blanket that was folded at the end of the bed. He decided to check over him again just to be sure the man was okay. He slipped his large fingers through the man's hair and gently massaged the area, checking for sore spots. He ran his fingers over the left side of his head and the Turk jerked in response. He tilted his head and looked over the place where Tseng seemed to feel pain. It looked normal to him, but when he ran his fingers over the spot Tseng tensed up.

"Oh, hell," Angeal cursed. He touched a different area and Tseng seemingly hissed at the pain. Was the Turk starting to feel pain all over his head?

"Sephiroth, I think we should take Tseng to…"

He looked over expecting to see the man beside him, but he wasn't. To his horror, Sephiroth was underneath the fleece blanket and hovering over where would be Tseng's unmentionables.

Suddenly enraged, Angeal whipped the blank off to reveal the current source of Tseng's jerkiness. Sephiroth was nibbling at his inner thighs and sucking at the sensitive flesh.

"What the hell are you doing!" Angeal yelled before suddenly covering his mouth. He'd been louder than he'd expected and glanced up at Tseng's face to see him making a strained expression. His eyelids tensed before they slowly opened.

Without warning, Tseng sprang up. His body lurched forward and his lower abdominals collided with Sephiroth's head. The SOLDIER grunted and fell back off the bed. The Turk looked dazed, but turned his head to peer up at Angeal.

"What is𑁋?" Tseng began, but paused as the sound of the door closing interrupted him. Angeal had only saw the ends of silver tendrils slip out the door before it shut.

"Gaia damn it, Sephiroth!" He exclaimed. Sephiroth had ducked out and left Angeal alone to deal with the situation. He looked back down at the Turk who was now looking over his body and realizing his state of undress. With his trained eye, he almost immediately spotted the bite marks on his thighs. They had not yet bruised, but the teeth marks were surrounded by pinked flesh.

Tseng slowly tilted his head to peer up at Angeal. He could already see the accusation in the Turk's bronze eyes.

"What did you do to me?" He asked in tone loaded with judgement.

Angeal rapidly shook his head and backed away from the man.

"It wasn't me! I mean, it was me a little bit because I accidently knocked you unconscious , but not thatpart! That was all Sephiroth, not me. He was just here and…"

As Angeal nervously rushed through his reply, the door opened to reveal the miscreant himself. The silver haired man gasped and covered his mouth in apparent shock to the scene he had walked in on.

"Oh my word!" he exclaimed, seemingly shocked. "Angeal what have you done to poor Tseng. I was just leaving for work when I decided to stop by…"

Angeal felt hot behind the ears as Sephiroth pretended to act like an innocent bystander. Suddenly, Angeal was charging towards Sephiroth and tackled him to the floor in a bout of rage.

"I'm going to kill you!" He bellowed as he wrestled with his comrade.

"Get the fuck off me, Angeal. I'm just trying to help my friend!"

Angeal was determined to beat the truth out of the man, but Sephiroth was putting up a good fight. They rolled around the carpet trying to get at each other's throats.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Another voice sounded over the chaos. "I'm trying ta play my game downstairs and I can't hear shit with all this commotion. What the fuck is going on!"

"Reno?" Tseng called out.

Angeal and Sephiroth paused their fight to look at the interestingly dressed Turk.

Reno scowled and went around the two SOLDIER's to see Tseng.

"Yo, why are you naked and why are these fucktard SOLDIERs fightin'? I have so many questions bossman."

"I have questions for you as well," Tseng said as he looked over his Second -in-Command dressed properly in a Shinra-Academy school uniform...for girls.

"Well, at least I have something on."

Tseng sighed and glanced over his shoulder at Angeal.

"I think the honorable Angeal has done something quite dishonorable."

"It wasn't me, I swear!" Angeal retorted.

"It was him!" Sephiroth declared before the fighting started up again.

Reno looked over at his boss and a wide smirk crossed his face. He always thought his straightlaced virgin boss needed to loosen up and experience life in all its fullness, which included sexual activity. Though Tseng tried to cover it up, Reno had noticed the bite marks and it gave him an idea. He grabbed a cup and filled it with water, only to pour it onto the wrestling men below. The pair stopped fighting at that and fixed their glares onto the crossdressed Turk.

"Listen up. I think the only way we can identify the culprit is to obviously match up the teeth marks on Tseng's thighs to someone's teeth."

"How would we do that?"Angeal said, eager to prove his innocence.

Reno smirked.

"We make new marks and compare them."

"What!" They all exclaimed. Though Sephiroth was the only one that seemed excited.

"Reno, I do not think I am comfortable with this idea," Tseng said.

"I'm not totally okay with this either, "Angeal added.

"I'm down," said Sephiroth. Angeal tossed a curious glance over at the man. Why was Sephiroth so eager? Surely this test would indict him.

"Look, do you want to know who did this?" Reno questioned, eyes bright with determination.

Tseng nodded. "I do, but…"

"And do you, Angeal, want to prove your innocence?" He asked in a commanding tone.

"Well, yes, but…"

"And finally," Reno said in a voice barely above a whisper,"Do you, Sephiroth, want a taste again?"

"Fuck yeah."

"What was that?" Tseng asked, not able to hear their hushed voices.

"Nothing, Bossman," Reno said in a cheery tone. Angeal scowled. Reno obviously knew who was responsible, he thought heatedly. Why make them go through this?

Reno's grinned widened, which Angeal took to mean "We're doing this because I'm a pervert."

"Then it's settled! The test will commence!" Reno hopped onto the bed and sat behind Tseng.

"Reno, this seems it bit much," the lead Turk said.

"Look,Tseng. You're the one always saying the only way to get the most accurate result is to recreate the scenario with similar conditions. Well, we've got authentic conditions right here right now. "

The red haired Turk grabbed the fleece blanket and tossed it to the floor, revealing Tseng's most intimate regions. Sephiroth was practically drooling.

"Oh come on!" Angeal yelled, "Isn't it obvious who it is! Sephiroth is salivating over here!"

Reno grinned as he pulled Tseng back into his embrace so that he was leaning against his chest. Tseng's body felt warm against his and he felt his nether regions stir.

"What was that?" Tseng asked in response to the hardness he felt briefly against his back.

"Ah, nothing!" Reno said as he adjusted himself. Hiding a boner in a skirt wasn't easy. Tseng lay down against Reno's chest again, seemingly comforted by his presence.

"Anyway, Angeal. That's exactly what a guilty man would say!Perhaps you don't want to do it because it would confirm your guilt," Reno said as he started to massage small circles into Tseng's back. In the past, it had helped keep the Turk calm on particularly grueling missions and it seemed to be working now. Tseng relaxed even further.

"This is such madness," Angeal whispered. He hated being in this predicament. He looked up at the two turks on the bed. The redhead was whispering something into Tseng's ear and it seemed to relax him. Tseng still looked embarrassed, having been practically put on display, but he wasn't actively protesting anymore. Angeal wondered if the accident was affecting Tseng's judgement. He still seemed a bit unfocused.

Angeal felt his face growing uncomfortably warm as Tseng started to spread his legs wider, exposing the tender flesh were the bite marks were.

Sephiroth audibly moaned at the sight and mumbled something under his breath that Angeal couldn't quite make out.

"Since you need to prove your innocence, you should go first," Reno said.

Angeal sighed one last time before he stood up and walked over to the bed. He cursed Rufus for getting him into this mess, but mostly he cursed Sephiroth. The man currently had the biggest grin on his face. He'd get him back later, but right now he had more disturbing and pressing matters.

Angeal had had one female and one male lover in his life, so he wasn't unfamiliar with this action. The fact that it was Tseng was the most daunting part. The Turk was admittedly attractive, with a slender body, long dark hair and piercing bronze eyes, but this man was also a highly respected official. They had worked together for years on several joint missions and Angeal had the upmost respect for him. There had always been some animosity between the Turks and SOLDIER, but Tseng was the one person who could transcend the disagreements and come to a compromise.

Angeal knelt over the same spot Sephiroth had been nibbling over earlier. At least he would hopefully be able to clear his name.

"Reno, are you sure about…"

Tseng paused as a warm mouth descended on his left thigh. Angeal took a small bite and the Turk threw his head back to rest on Reno's shoulder. Tseng hadn't felt something so electric since the night he'd first kissed Cloud's sweet, vanilla tasting lips.

Angeal added more pressure, making sure his teeth would leave a mark. Tseng's soft inner thigh felt lush and pliable underneath his ministrations. He licked the area afterward without thinking, as it was what he usually would do to his lovers in bed.

Reno ran his fingers over the new mark and shook his head.

"I think it looks just like the teeth marks from earlier."

"What! No it doesn't!" Angeal was appalled, but he could see what Reno meant. The marks looked very similar, if not the same. Angeal knew his canines were sharper than Sephiroth's, but he hadn't wanted to bite down so harshly. He figured he didn't have a choice now.

He rubbed his finger over an untouched area that was closer to Tseng's cock, but at least the mark would show up clearly. He kissed the area softly as a preemptive apology, then sunk his teeth into the soft, pale flesh. This time Tseng moaned, deep and heady. The sound sending familiar chills of arousal though Reno's body. He pressed his lips to Tseng's neck and softly nipped at the expanse of skin.

"Reno, why are you...," he started to ask, but was cut off by his own sudden inhale as Angeal bit down even deeper. He only flinched when he felt his half hard shaft immediately twitch as he grew more aroused. His head was spinning from the sensation.

Angeal lifted up, peering at the deep mark he had made. There was no mistaking his teeth for the ones Sephiroth had made.

"See," Angeal said proudly. "I told you I didn't...do...it?"

He had been so oblivious to his surroundings in his concentrated effort to prove his innocence that he hadn't noticed the effect it was having on Tseng. His eyes were glazed over and they seemed to be focusing on nothing. Angeal was now more certain than ever that the bump to Tseng's head had knocked a few screws loose.

"Reno, I think Tseng needs to go to the hospital," he remarked.

"Naw he's fine. Just a little turned on. He's a virgin so this may be a bit intense for him."

"He's a what!" Angeal exclaimed, suddenly feeling guilty and dishonorable.

In contrast, Sephiroth pushed Angeal out of the way as he positioned himself between the Turk's legs. The SOLDIER looked up at Reno and winked. The Turk nodded his head in silent approval. He wrapped his arms around Tseng's waist and held him tight.

It was the startled cry that caused Angeal to whip his head around to see if Tseng was alright. His eyes went wide as he realized Sephiroth was not nibbling his thighs, but had half of his cock down his throat.

"Oh, fuck." Angeal said as he stood up and ran to the door. He couldn't handle both Sephiroth and Reno. He was failing the mission Rufus had given him and didn't know how to stop it by himself. He ran to seek help.

"Ah, Reno. My countermeasures!" Tseng managed to get out. His whole body was on fire as Sephiroth expertly swallowed his virgin cock. He had never experienced something like this and he was rapidly losing his mind due to the pleasure.

"Fuck your countermeasures and just fuck his face," Reno replied. "Doesn't it feel so good, Tseng?"

Sephiroth took more of him in, and started humming, his tongue constantly mobile around the Turk's dick. Tseng bucked into his mouth, wanting to go deeper inside such a hot, moist orifice. His mind bounced back between wanting to stop and never wanting the sensation to end.

"No, I cannot!" he said with every deep thrust down Sephiroth's eager throat. Reno chuckled in his ear, deeply satisfied with the outcome. He kissed Tseng's neck softly as he slipped his two fingers into the head Turk's mouth. He moaned as heat enveloped his fingers. He played with Tseng's tongue, thoroughly coating his fingers with saliva. He then slipped his fingers out and used them to trace over Tseng's full lips, stretched wide in his pleasure.

"I know you like this, Tseng. You've been waiting for just the right person, or in this case, the right people, to break you in."

Tseng shook his head, but cried out in pleasure when Sephiroth sucked at the swollen head of his cock with fervor. His tongue twirled around the head a few times before he took him in as deep as he could. His lips now pressed against dark pubic hair and the base of his balls.

"I…" was all he managed say before he came inside that tight, convulsing throat that milked his first ejcaction by blow job from him. Reno nearly came at the sight as his lovely boss bucked back into him and tossed his head over his shoulder. His eyes rolled back and his whole body tensed up like a bowstring.

"Reno!" A familiar voice bellowed deep within the halls. Rude, followed by Angeal, burst into the room. He took in the scene and clenched his fists. Rude immediately went for Reno, ready to rock his world with a swift punch to the face.

"Wait!" the redhead yelled as he ducked behind Tseng's dazed, limp form.

Rude stopped his assault, but his fury did not relent.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Just showing our virgin boss the joys of receiving fellatio, and not just always servicing your big ass dick."

In one swift motion, Rude grabbed Reno from behind Tseng and dragged him out of the bed. He was confused by what Reno was wearing, but it didn't superceed his rage for what was just said.

"I'm going to murder you," Rude said lowly, his tone on edge.

It was then that Angeal realized that Reno was like a Turk version of Sephiroth. He wondered how many times Rude had to reel in his partner, just like Angeal had to do with Sephiroth.

"Rufus is not going to be happy," Angeal said under his breath.

Reno gulped nervously as Rude held him up by his pullover sweater. The larger turk brought his fist back, ready to punish his partner for his foolish ways.

"Wait," came Tseng's low, but stern command. Rude stopped, his body immediately stilled at the sound of his superior's order.

Tseng grabbed the white bedsheet that covered his bed and wrapped it around his waist. He stood up and almost stumbled, but caught himself before he fell. His head was still spinning and his legs were a bit unsteady, but he eventually made it over to Reno without any assistance.

"Get out."

"But…"

"Get out!" Tseng yelled. "All of you, get out!"

The four men turned dejectedly on their heels.

"Sephiroth." Tseng suddenly called out.

The silver haired man stopped and turned to look at Tseng.

"You can stay. This is your room too."

Sephiroth looked confused, as did all the rest of them.

"Um, alright?"

The remaining three left the room, scratching their heads at Tseng's odd decision to have Sephiroth remain in the room with him. Once the last person was out, Tseng slammed the door and locked it. He turned and fixed his glare on Sephiroth.

"I'm so sorry, Tseng. I know this isn't probably how you wanted things to go for us. I mean, I only had to wait until tomorrow to do things proper but…"

"Stop talking, please," Tseng said as he crossed the room to sit on Sephiroth's bed. The silver haired man was now more confused than ever. Tseng gestured for him to come over and he did so cautiously.

"Um, Tseng?"

"Stop talking," he said before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't speak for several minutes which made the SOLDIER next to him nervous. He didn't speak, but looked over Tseng's form as he thought.

"Sephiroth," he suddenly spoke.

"Yes?" he replied.

"I have decided that at this point I am not worthy of seeing my ancestors and will probably never see them in the next life."

"Um, okay?" He said, not understanding what Tseng was talking about.

"I have someone I want to be with, but I have virtually no experience. After what you did today, it seems you are very experienced. I would not ask this of my own team, but maybe you would be willing to help me."

Tseng rose from the bed and stood up in front of Sephiroth. He then let the white sheet fall from his waist and stood naked in front of the man.

"I want you to teach me what you know, so that I may be ready to be with another. In return, you may request anything from me. Money, favors…"

"Your virginity?"

Tseng nodded after a long moment.

Sephiroth smiled as he pulled the Turk into his lap.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you everything I know. Your future companion will be pleased."

As he pressed his lips to Tseng's, he idly wondered if the world really was made for him. So far, he'd been denied few things and given almost everything. He thought, maybe he actually was a god and his will was so influential that everything he wanted eventually fell into place. When his tongue slipped into that willing mouth, he moaned and ran his fingers up his smooth, slender back. His fingers wandered down until they found their way to Tseng's tiny, virgin opening.

"Oh, yes," the general groaned as he circled the tiny wrinkled flesh with his middle finger. As he applied more pressure to breach the entrance, he felt something hard press up against his chest. He broke the kiss to peer down at what he thought was Tseng's erect cock, only to find the silver barrel of a gun pressed up against his abs.

"This may not kill you, but it will fucking hurt." Tseng's eyes were fierce, almost devoid of any feeling or compassion.

"Um, Tseng. I'm really sorry and I love you."

Tseng shot him twice.

God complex much, Sephiroth?