to eternity

by rumiberri

Homura, Madoka, and the process of letting go. [Super AU!][Homura-centric]

4. Chapter 4

Snow falls, a light, white dust, drifting down to cover the streets down below.

She stares high up, gaze unfocused, watching as snowflakes flutter by. Each inhale chills her lungs, flowing and continuing all the way down to her bones.

And still—

The cold is forgotten, just like the feather light touches of melted snow on her skin.

Another breath—followed by a blink of her eyes as something pulls her back.

It's a small tug felt around her heart, and she merely readjusts the weight on her legs as she waits.

She hears the soft crunch; the hurried rustles of fabric.

The sudden cry of surprise.

She turns, arms held out to catch the pink blur that face plants into her chest.

The figure against her is light; familiar, yet not.

Madoka lifts her head, showing off her cheeks that are flushed as bright as her hair. She grips Homura's arms tightly as Homura gently rests her hands on her waist.

"S-Sorry, Homura-chan," Madoka breathes out, still blushing heavily.

She shakes her head, and offers her a smile as they both straighten up.

Madoka makes a show of readjusting her clothes: fingers first pulling her scarf, and then moving to tug her jacket. She realizes her hands are empty, and looks around, but Homura is already kneeling, and reaching for the bag that had been thrown when she had tripped.

"Ah, thank you, Homura-chan..." Madoka murmurs as she watches Homura stand.

Homura dusts the snow off her bag, and once clean, she loops the straps over her arm, letting the bag join her own. "It's fine. I'm glad I was here to catch you. You should be more careful, the streets are slippery."

Madoka tucks her neck in, eyes averted as she turns shy at Homura's words; at that soft expression. She glances back up, only to find Homura still watching her. It's then that she notices Homura's own cheeks are tinged pink. Notices the stray drops staining her glasses. She reaches out, fingers gentle as they brush away fresh snowflakes from Homura's face.

"I'm sorry," Madoka says softly. "You must've been cold waiting for me." Her hands unwrap the scarf around her neck, only to wind the cloth around Homura's neck. She bundles the ends of the scarf securely, and smiles once she's done.

Homura blinks. Her eyes flicker down to regard her new accessory. "I'm—"

Madoka still grips the scarf in her hands. "It's okay, Homura-chan. Take it, please. We'll get you a scarf soon," she murmurs almost absently.

There's warmth around her neck; a light weight resting against her shoulders.

A piercing gaze locked into her eyes.

If she leans forward, just a little, she knows Madoka will follow, meeting her halfway.

But—

She blinks again, this time deliberately breaking eye-contact. Madoka sucks in a breath and immediately drops her hands. She takes a step back.

"Ah, uhm, we—should... get going, Homura-chan," Madoka says as she readjusts her jacket collar.

She nods, pressing down that familiar disappointment. "Yes, we... should, Madoka."

Madoka clears her throat, and joins Homura's side as they start walking home.

Two steps forward, before Madoka takes Homura's hand into her own. She's blushing, keeping her eyes forward, and Homura merely tucks their hands into her jacket pocket.

Madoka gives her a shy smile that she returns.

As they walk, Homura gently runs her thumb over Madoka's fingers. Thin.

Small.

/

They tap their shoes to loosen snow stuck to their soles, before they enter the house. They shed their jackets, hanging them on the coat rack placed in front, and after they slip their shoes in their respective places, they continue further inside.

"Ahhh, it's so cold," Madoka shivers from the loss of her jacket and pulls Homura closer for warmth.

Homura touches the scarf that Madoka had insisted she kept wearing. "I told you, that I was fine."

Madoka ignores her, tugging her along. "I'll be fine once we warm up in the kotatsu. Papa! I'm home!"

"Marokaaaa. Homu-nee."

Madoka smiles at Takkun who waves at her from his high chair. "I'm back, Takkun!"

"Welcome backkkk."

"Welcome back you two," Tomohisa calls out from the kitchen.

Homura mumbles a soft reply under her breath.

Madoka bumps her leg. "Homura-chan."

She ducks her head. "I'm... back," she murmurs a little louder.

Eyes cast to the floor, she misses the shared smile between Tomohisa and Madoka.

"Did you two want something hot to drink?"

Madoka continues to drag Homura into the living room, to where the kotatsu is set up in the middle.

"Hot cocoa please, Papa!"

"One hot cocoa, coming right up. Homura-chan?"

Homura opens her mouth to refuse his offer, but Madoka interrupts by pulling her down to sit in front of the kotatsu.

"Homura-chan will have tea, Papa," Madoka answers for her.

Homura shoots her a curious glance, but Madoka merely gives her a beaming smile.

"One tea for Homura-chan, coming right up."

"Thank you, Papa!"

Homura sets their bags aside, before she settles into her seat with her legs tucked underneath her. Madoka pulls the blanket over, making sure it covers both their legs.

"...Thank you," Homura says softly.

"This is nice, isn't it, Homura-chan?"

She looks around, evaluating this familiar, yet unfamiliar setting from so long ago. "...Yes."

Madoka sighs, resting her head against Homura's shoulder. She closes her eyes. "Really, really nice."

\\

Dinner, and like always, like how she remembers, Junko's presence takes command over the room.

A hearty laugh; a teasing smile.

Chopsticks lightly resting in one hand, bowl of rice in the other, like always, she stares, watching as Junko animatedly recounts her day. Tomohisa nods and replies at the right times, and Takkun listens with one ear, while his hands send his food to everywhere but to his mouth.

Madoka is the one who laughs the loudest; smiles the brightest.

Madoka, who so obviously takes after her parents.

Madoka—

She pushes down her thoughts, and finally takes a bite of her rice.

"...Homura-chan?"

She blinks, and turns her head, only to find Madoka looking at her. She politely swallows her food before replying. "I'm... sorry, did you say something?"

"Ah." Madoka smiles. "Did you want more soup?" She's eying the half-filled bowl that has long since cooled down.

She's not even sure what the food tastes like. "It's... alright," she murmurs, moving to switch out her rice bowl with the soup.

Madoka is faster, and the bowl of soup is now in her hands. "Papa, can I have some more soup?"

"Sure, Madoka."

When she's handed back the bowl, wisps of steam can be seen rising to the top.

"Homura-chan, be sure to drink it before it gets cold," Madoka tells her gently.

She lowers her eyes. "Yes... thank you."

A touch on her wrist draws her eyes back up. Madoka gives her another smile, before she pulls her hand away.

She takes a sip of her soup, using it to swallow that painful lump in her throat.

It doesn't work, of course.

/

She leans back in her chair, listening to the creak as plastic and metal move to accommodate her.

A glance around to the bare walls, to the plainly furnished room. Her eyes flicker to the cat bed placed in the corner; empty, because Amy is a fickle cat that wanders off whenever she pleases.

She turns her attention to her desk, covered with scattered papers and an opened laptop for her school work. She gazes past that, to the two picture frames sitting by the edge.

Just as she reaches out to grab one, there's a light rap against the door. She breathes out slowly, before glancing to the side, to the door.

"Homura-chan?"

The lights in her room are on, and she knows it can be seen through the cracks between the door.

But if she says nothing, if she remains quiet, she also knows that Madoka will leave and return to her own room.

"...Come in."

There's a pause, before the door knob twists, and the door is pushed open to reveal an apprehensive Madoka, dressed in her pajamas as she grips a pillow in her hands.

"I'm... not bothering you, am I?" Madoka asks softly, hugging the pillow against her chest.

She rises from the seat, one hand gently brushing her hair back. "Not at all. Did you... need something?"

"Ah..." Madoka shyly glances to the floor. "I was... just, wondering... if..."

The sight of a bashful Madoka makes something in her chest tighten almost painfully. She readjusts her glasses as she tries to calm her thoughts.

"I... don't mind," she murmurs as she turns to face the bed.

Madoka smiles to herself, hugging the pillow tighter. "Thank you, Homura-chan."

\\

She waits until Madoka is asleep, before she gently extracts herself from her arms, and quietly slips out of bed.

Barefoot, and slightly shivering, she exits the room, and continues down the hallway to the front door.

Sometimes, Amy is there, waiting for her and expecting to be carried along.

Today, she is alone as the door opens, granting her access outside.

The cold hits her head on, but it's a quick transition to clothes that she never thought she would once again be wearing, and a thin barrier of magic cast to surround her body.

The door is locked behind her as she continues down the roads.

Early morning, as the city sleeps.

Light taps of her heels follow her, the sounds muffled against soft powder. She pauses to look over her shoulder, watching as her footprints slowly disappear, covered by new snow that falls.

Unhurried, she continues on her way as traces of her presence are endlessly erased behind her.

The streets are quiet and empty, almost like a—

She exhales lightly, letting her eyes close ever so briefly.

Her eyes open, but before she can take another step forward, there's that tug pulling against her chest.

Like always, she hesitates.

Her wanderings lead her through the city, and like always, she finds herself close to the border of Mitakihara and Kazamino. How many more steps until she reaches the city limits?

But like always, she can never ignore that feeling; can never bring herself to move forward.

She turns around to start the long trek back.

/

Barefoot, and once again in her pajamas, she re-enters the house.

The door is locked with a light click.

She turns, and stares.

Madoka sits by the entrance, wrapped in a blanket, leaning against the wall. Eyes closed, hair a mess of pink tangles.

She steps forward, and as her foot pads across the floor, Madoka opens her eyes.

"...Homura-chan? Where did you go...?"

She brushes her hair back. "I... couldn't sleep."

"Mm..." Madoka blinks sleepily, and Homura moves closer to help her up. "Your hands are cold, Homura-chan," Madoka whispers as she leans against her.

"Ah..."

Madoka readjusts the blankets, draping them over Homura's shoulders. "You were gone for a while."

She can hear the disapproval in her voice. "...I lost track of time."

Madoka presses her face against her neck. "Next time, I'll come with you."

Homura slips one arm around Madoka's waist, and starts leading her back to her room. "Let's go to bed."

She feels Madoka inhale deeply; feels that small hand press her closer. "...Alright."

/

The bed is cold when they climb in. Homura settles into her spot, and Madoka molds her body against her.

"Homura-chan...?"

She resists the urge to shiver as Madoka's breath hits her neck. "Hm...?"

"Where—were you going...?"

She closes her eyes, turning to slip her arms around Madoka's waist. "Nowhere," she whispers softly.

"Really...?"

"Mmhmm..."

"Really, really?"

"Yes. Really, really."

Madoka shifts to rest her head against her shoulder. "Okay... Good..."

She hugs Madoka closer. "Goodnight, Madoka."

"Goodnight, Homura-chan... I love you..."

She hesitates ever so slightly. "...I love you, too."

\\

She's readjusting the cuff of her jacket, when she notices the familiar glint of metal on her left hand.

She is used to—remembers—when she closes her eyes, a silver band is around her middle finger, carved with letters made in a foreign language.

It's been, how long now though, that the ring—should be—is now—a platinum gold; an important promise, bundled and tied and wrapped around her ring finger.

She exhales slowly.

Maybe—

/

The day begins, with Madoka clinging to her—like always.

She wakes first, right before the alarm sounds. She shuts it off, and remains in bed as Madoka continues to sleep.

Her breathing is slow and steady.

Gently, she runs her fingers through Madoka's messy hair, helping her clear the tangles gained from her sleep.

Minutes pass, and she can feel Madoka stirring.

"Mm...?"

Rose pink opens, and even after—all this time—the sight has her own heart skipping a beat.

Madoka tilts her face, and offers her a sleepy smile. "Morning, Homura-chan."

She drags her fingers through Madoka's hair one last time. "Good morning, Madoka." She pulls her hands away.

Madoka pouts. She closes her eyes, her hands now resting on Homura's waist.

But time is clicking, and Homura reluctantly starts sitting up. "We should get up, Madoka. You need to wake your mother."

Madoka groans, and buries her face into Homura's neck. "It's so cold though..."

"Only for a little bit."

Madoka's legs wrap around hers, entangling them, and preventing her from escaping.

"Madoka..."

"Just... a little longer, okay, Homura-chan?"

She finds she cannot refuse. "...Okay."

\\

When Junko wakes with a bit of coaxing from Madoka, all three head to the bathroom to begin their daily routine.

As Madoka starts placing the toothpaste to her toothbrush, she freezes, and stares.

Waiting her turn, Homura looks at her, noticing that she's no longer moving. "Madoka? Is something wrong?"

Madoka's brow furrows, and suddenly she's turning her hand over and over again.

"Madoka?" Junko tilts her head at her curiously. "What's wrong?"

Eyes wide, Madoka continues turning her hand. "Something..." Her eyes flicker to the side, head now moving as she searches for something.

"Madoka?" Junko grabs her by the shoulders, and forces her to look at her. "What's wrong?"

"S-Something's... I'm... I-It's not—here, Mama," Madoka tells her as tears start gathering in her eyes.

Homura glances over, remaining quiet.

"Don't worry. Whatever it is, we'll find it, okay?" Junko smiles, and Madoka nods, unsure.

"O...kay."

"Brush your teeth first. And then wash your face. Wake up a bit. Maybe you'll remember better."

"O...kay."

Done with the toothpaste, Madoka hands the tube over to Homura.

"Thank you," Homura murmurs, avoiding her eyes.

But Madoka is distracted enough that she doesn't notice.

/

Fresh faces, and now dressed for school, as per Junko's suggestion, Madoka searches her room for whatever she has lost.

The problem is though, that Madoka cannot exactly remember what it is.

Junko doesn't notice anything missing, and asking Homura merely draws a shake of her head.

At first, the papers on her desk are calmly rifled through; restacked and stacked over and over as she continues to search.

Finally, Madoka decides her desk doesn't have whatever it is, and she starts searching the rest of her room.

Her calm is slowly agitated into irritation, and after throwing everything out of her dresser, she whirls on Homura, who is standing by the door.

"Why—aren't you helping me, Homura-chan?"

Homura presses her fingers against her leg. "You... told me to stay out of the way."

Madoka frowns, but she stands suddenly, and starts walking over to her, completely ignoring the pile of clothes left in her wake.

"Maybe it's in your room, Homura-chan. Maybe—maybe it—fell off, while we were sleeping."

As Madoka squeezes past, she reaches out with a strong hand, and grabs Homura's wrist, pulling her along.

/

Irritation eventually morphs into desperation.

Eyes angry, Madoka grips Homura's arms tightly, pinning her to the wall.

"Homura-chan."

Rose pink—with a small glimpse of golden yellow peeking through.

"Where is it?"

Her voice is lower, deeper.

"I—" She struggles to pull away, but Madoka refuses to let go.

"Homura-chan."

"I-It's—under the bed."

Madoka immediately releases her, footsteps hurried as she moves to check.

Hands free, Homura brings them close with a small clap.

/

The day begins, with Madoka clinging to her—like always.

She wakes first, right before the alarm sounds. She shuts it off, and remains in bed as Madoka continues to sleep.

Her breathing is slow and steady.

She brings her hand up, her eyes gazing at the gold band that stands out against her pale skin.

She exhales softly, before resting her arm across her eyes.

Madoka—shouldn't—

And yet—

\\

"Yo, Madoka, Homura!"

Sayaka waves to them, and waits as they move to join her.

"Morning, Sayaka-chan."

"Miki Sayaka."

Sayaka sighs loudly. In three steps, she is next to Homura, and close enough to throw her arm around her shoulder. "Seriously, Homura. I've known you for how long now? And you're still calling me that?"

Homura merely readjusts her glasses back into place.

"Sayaka-chan."

Sayaka sighs, but releases her with a small push. "One day, Homura."

Madoka tugs Homura back to her side, before giving a curious look around. "Kyouko-chan isn't here yet?"

"Ahhh," Sayaka places her arms behind her head, "she said something about being a bit late today."

Madoka nods.

"But, anyways," Sayaka turns to them with a grin, "you're so lucky to be going to a ski resort during winter vacation." She reaches over to nudge Homura with her elbow. "Pretty romantic, if you ask me."

There's an obvious side glance to Madoka, who responds by blushing as she turns her face away.

They both miss as Homura's grip tightens around her bag.

"So lucky," Sayaka says as she tilts her head up. "I don't think my parents have any plans at all. Poor Sayaka-chan is going to be stuck at home while her friends get to experience a real ski resort and have so much fun." She gives a dramatic sigh.

"Ah. Uhm," Madoka bites her lip, and after giving Homura a glance, "I could ask Mama if you could come with us...?"

Sayaka lowers her head, deliberately keeping her face hidden. "Oh, but I couldn't—I shouldn't intrude on your family time. I mean, just because I've known you for half our lives, Madoka, it would be weird and awkward for me to join in on this trip..."

Homura resists the urge to roll her eyes.

Madoka, however, drops Homura's hand to take Sayaka's. "Sayaka-chan! Don't say that! I'll ask Mama tonight if you can come along. I'm sure she won't mind; you're always welcomed!"

Sayaka turns to her, eyes shining. "Really? But I—"

"Really!"

Sayaka clasps Madoka's hands tightly. "Thank you, Madoka! And don't worry about the money—my parents already agreed to pay my expenses."

Madoka blinks. "E-Eh?"

Sayaka pats Madoka's hand, before letting go. She shoots Homura a grin, who responds by brushing her hair back.

"Yo! Sorry for being late!"

They turn to see Kyouko jogging towards them with a wide grin on her face. She stops in front of them, and takes a moment to catch her breath.

Sayaka gently pokes her shoulder. "How'd it go, Kyouko?"

Kyouko gives her two thumbs up. "I have to help with service, like usual, and pull some extra hours for clean up and stuff, but my dad said okay!"

Madoka blinks. She turns to Homura who lifts one shoulder, mirroring her confusion. Madoka absently takes Homura's hand, before turning back to Sayaka and Kyouko.

"Uhm, Sayaka-chan? Kyouko-chan? What... are you talking about?"

Kyouko grins and reaches out to punch Madoka lightly on the shoulder. "The ski resort, of course!"

"What...?"

Sayaka slips her arm around Madoka's shoulder, and starts pulling her along. "I mean, one more person isn't going to be that much of a problem, is it, Madoka?"

"One more person...?"

"Or, uh," Sayaka scratches her cheek sheepishly, "maybe two...?"

Madoka immediately stops walking. "Wait. What—are you talking about, Sayaka-chan?"

"Ahhh, I told you we should've just asked her earlier," Kyouko says from behind them.

Madoka turns to Kyouko. "Uhm, ask what...?"

Sayaka gives her a nervous smile. "Uh, so, I mean, it's... the last year here for Mami-san."

Madoka nods sadly. "I know..."

"So, we were thinking we should... do something together, for winter break, since her parents are going to be busy..."

"That... sounds fine...?" Madoka says as she tilts her head.

"Just—" Sayaka coughs into her hand. "...my parents aren't too keen on me going somewhere without adult supervision..."

"Okay..."

"And—uh, Mami-san, actually loves—skiing. And, since, your family is already heading to a ski resort..." She gives Madoka a look.

Madoka sighs softly. "Sayaka-chan..."

Sayaka claps her hands together and bows her head. "Please, Madoka! Otherwise the three of us are going to be staying at home, dreaming of having the same amount of fun you and Homura will be having!"

She reaches over to pull Kyouko next to her.

"You lower your head too!"

"Uh, I'm kind of alright with staying home though—"

Sayaka elbows Kyouko in the stomach, and she lowers her head as she winces in pain.

Madoka sighs again, before she tugs Homura close. "I'll... ask Mama today. But—" she points a finger at Sayaka and Kyouko, "there's no guarantee that she's going to agree, okay?"

Sayaka steps forward engulfing both Madoka and Homura in a hug. "Thank you, Madoka!" She turns, and lands a kiss on Madoka's head. "Thank you so much!" She turns to Homura, who is trying to slip out of her grasp. "Thank you, Homura!"

"I didn't—" Homura slams her foot down on Sayaka's when she sees how close she is.

"Ow!"

Frowning, Homura steps back as her hand moves to fix her hair.

"Ouch," Sayaka glares. "What was that for?!"

Madoka sighs, and moves over to help Homura. "Sayaka-chan, you know how shy Homura-chan is. Stop teasing her. Plus..." she glances to where Kyouko is now scowling, "...you're making Kyouko-chan jealous."

Like usual, Sayaka and Kyouko both sputter at her words. She ignores them, instead running her hands through Homura's hair to fix the non-existent tangles.

Red faced, Sayaka turns to Kyouko who is avoiding her eyes. "Stop—blushing! You're making it seem like she's telling the truth!"

"That's—you—shut up!"

Madoka straightens out Homura's glasses and gives her smile.

"NO! YOU!"

"...We should... head to class, Madoka. We're going to miss the first bell," Homura murmurs as Madoka once again takes her hand.

"Okay, Homura-chan."

Before they can even take one step, Sayaka and Kyouko are suddenly barreling away.

"Come back here, Kyouko!"

"Make me!"

Madoka and Homura both watch as they almost side swipe other students along the way.

"Ah." Madoka shakes her head. "They... should just admit their feelings." She glances to Homura with a shy smile.

"Perhaps they're... holding back, because of Tomoe Mami."

Madoka hums. "Sayaka-chan... should really make up her mind."

Homura remains quiet, knowing that even back there, Sayaka couldn't.

Madoka's fingers pressing into her hand has her glancing over.

She's given another smile, and it takes all of her willpower to not reach out and touch Madoka's face.

"I love you," Homura whispers softly.

Despite the crowded street as they head to school, Madoka brings Homura's hand close to her cheek.

"I love you too, Homura-chan."

\\

Even on a normal day, when skies are clear and temperatures are balmy, the rooftops are usually empty.

And today, when everything outside is lightly dusted with snow, they are the only ones there willing to brave the cold.

Madoka sits close, pressed to her side. She wraps one arm around Madoka's shoulders in an attempt to keep her warm. It earns her a shy smile that sends a stab of pain through her heart.

She ignores it, closing her eyes to rest her head against Madoka's.

There's a gentle touch as fingers lightly brush back her bangs. "Homura-chan? Are you okay?"

She nods, eyes opening to find Madoka peering at her in worry. "I'm fine." She smiles, and Madoka watches her for a few seconds. "We should eat our lunch," she murmurs as she turns her attention to the bentou in her lap.

Madoka gives her an unsure look. She pretends not to notice as she removes the lid to the container.

"Madoka?"

Her expression remains worried. Another silent stare, before Madoka reluctantly moves to start on her own lunch.

She works through her food quietly, and eventually Madoka turns to chat with the others to discuss their winter break plans.

No matter how many times she has been here, or maybe because she has been here so many times, sitting on the roof and eating lunch makes her so incredibly nostalgic. The food on her tongue is tasteless; her mouth, dry.

There's Madoka's distinct laugh heard in her ears, and she turns her head to stare over the metal fences that surround the rooftop.

This high, and she's expecting hills covered in snow.

A building in the distance; a place she was close to calling home.

She blinks as a snowflake lands on her glasses, breaking her thoughts. She tilts her head up, watching as light snow flutters down.

"Ahh... it's snowing again," Madoka says softly as she quickly moves to place the lid back onto her bentou. "We should head back inside before it starts snowing harder."

She knows that won't happen—knows the snow piles up only to a certain height, before it all disappears.

She nods, and packs up her own bentou.

/

Classes end, and they meet briefly at the gates after school.

Kyouko is the first to leave, needing to go back home in order to help with her promised chores to pay for her potential trip.

Mami has an appointment with her own parents; an early Christmas dinner because they will be busy next week.

It leaves Sayaka, Madoka and Homura to mull about the entrance for a little longer, and they wave to Hitomi and Kyousuke as they pass by.

"Sayaka." Kyousuke turns to her with a gentle smile. "You are coming to the show, right?"

Sayaka gives him a thumbs up as she winks. "Yup! Wouldn't miss it for anything! Front row seats to the long awaited duet by Kamijou Kyousuke and," she turns to Hitomi, "Shizuki Hitomi? It's not everyday I can brag to everyone that I know celebrities in real life!"

Hitomi tucks strands of hair behind her ear. "You flatter us, Sayaka-san. I can't speak for Kamijou-kun, but I for one don't think I deserve the title of 'celebrity.'"

Sayaka grins and steps forward to elbow Kyousuke in the stomach. "Come on, Hitomi! Why are you being so bashful for? Everyone knows that Kyousuke's the one that can't hold a candle to you." She nudges Kyousuke.

He gives her a confused look as he rubs his stomach. "What...?"

"Right, Kyousuke?" she tells him through gritted teeth. She nods her head to Hitomi, causing him to glance over. "Hitomi's way better than you, isn't she?"

He frowns. "The piano and violin are completely different instruments, Sayaka. I thought you knew this."

Still smiling, she moves to step on his foot.

"Ow—"

"Sayaka-san—"

"Seriously," Sayaka says with a sigh, "Kyousuke's just so hopeless sometimes..." She shoots Kyousuke another glare.

"What are—"

Homura raises an eyebrow at Madoka, who gives her an amused smile, before she steps forward.

"I'm sure your show will turn out amazing, Hitomi-chan, Kamijou-kun!"

All three turn to face her.

"I'm really sorry that me and Homura-chan won't be able to make it."

"Ah," Hitomi shakes her head, "it is understandable, Madoka-san. It is during the holiday season, and there are bound to be conflicting schedules." She smiles politely, "my parents are also busy, and won't be attending as well."

It doesn't make Madoka feel better. "I'll go to your next show!" She glances to Kyousuke. "Both yours and Kamijou-kun's!"

Hitomi blinks at Madoka's fervor. "It... there's no guarantee that they will ask us to perform again." Her eyes flicker to the ground, and there's a small hint of nervousness on her face.

Sayaka nudges Kyousuke, who for once understands.

He clears his throat. "I'm... sure that we will do fine, Shizu—" he hisses as Sayaka's heel digs into his foot.

"Hitomi," she whispers loudly into his ear.

His face flushes, but when Sayaka lifts her leg, he cringes, before nodding quickly.

"Uh," he coughs into his hand, "we will be fine, Hi...tomi." He turns his head away. "We're practicing everyday, and there's no doubt that you'll perform anything less than perfect."

Hitomi blushes at his words. "Kamijou-kun..."

Sayaka whistles, and it's enough to snap Kyousuke out of his embarrassment.

"Uh," he quickly reaches over to grab Hitomi's arm, "we have, uhm, practice to get to, so—" he cuts himself off as he starts dragging Hitomi away. "See you girls later."

"'Practice' huh, Kyousuke?" Sayaka jeers to his back.

"Have a nice day, Madoka-san, Sayaka-san, Akemi-san," Hitomi says as she's pulled along.

Sayaka shakes her head. "That Kyousuke, if it was up to him, he'd never make a move on Hitomi."

Homura rolls her eyes.

Madoka bumps her leg. "Play nice, Homura-chan," she whispers softly.

"Anyways," Sayaka turns to them, "you two mind coming with me to the convenience store before you head home?"

Madoka shakes her head, and follows Sayaka as she starts moving. "Not at all, Sayaka-chan. What are you getting?"

She places her hands behind her head. "I feel like meat buns all of a sudden."

Homura leans forward. "Let me guess, you're going to buy some to drop off to a certain someone."

Sayaka trips over her own feet. "Uhhh, what—are you talking about?"

Madoka nudges Homura. "Homura-chan." She glances to Sayaka. "It's nice of you to buy some for Kyouko-chan though, Sayaka-chan."

Sayaka sputters. "W-What?! Why would I buy meat buns for her? I just—felt like eating something hot! That's it!"

Homura remains quiet as she tugs Madoka forward.

"Really!" Sayaka yells as she follows them. "I had some the other day—and they were really, really good. I'll buy you two one, and you can see why I wanted to buy some!"

Madoka smiles at Sayaka, but Homura flicks her hair behind her.

"And, who exactly did you go with to buy these meat buns?" she asks as a small smirk sits on her lips.

Sayaka glares. "You know, you used to be so much cuter back then; what happened?"

Homura raises an eyebrow at the sudden change of topic.

Madoka grips Homura's arm tighter. "Homura-chan is still cute, Sayaka-chan."

Sayaka grins. "Guess you would know, Madoka."

Face flushed, Madoka tries to hide behind Homura's shoulder. "What—do you mean by that, Sayaka-chan?"

"Oh, I don't know," Sayaka says as she now walks ahead, "just, Homura used to cling to you all the time." She gives them a side glance. "Seems like that hasn't changed. Or..." she taps her chin with a finger, "maybe it's the other way around."

Madoka hugs Homura's arm. "I... can't help it," she murmurs softly. "If... If I let go, it... feels like Homura-chan will leave..."

Sayaka immediately drops her hands and rushes to her side, "H-Hey! Why are you crying?"

She looks at Homura who shakes her head.

"Hey—Homura's—not going anywhere. She's right here."

Madoka nods as Homura slips an arm around her shoulder.

"I—know," Madoka says softly. She closes her eyes as tears trickle down. "I know."

\\

The city remains quiet at night; enough silence, that the words whispering in her mind ring as loudly as possible.

Doubt and self-hatred; selfishness; loneliness that she tries her best to push away.

Alone, and once more she wanders the city.

But today, she's not alone.

There's movement out of the corner of her eye.

She turns, and despite the magic that keeps her warm, a chill runs down as familiar red eyes stare back.

Her lip curls into a snarl, and her hand moves to her buckler.

The cold metal gripped in her fingers calms her nerves ever so slightly.

/We meet, once again. Who are you?/

She shivers, hating that echo that rattles around in her mind.

"How did you get in?"

/What do you plan to accomplish by keeping her here?/

"What do you plan to accomplish by coming back here?" she asks instead.

/I have explained our motivations; we wish to reverse the entropy of the universe. For that reason, we need to harness the power of the Law of Cycles. Why do you continue to sabotage our mission?/

She points the gun at him. "How did you get in?"

/You... are human, are you not? You understand then, that if entropy is not countered, the universe will end./

"You are not welcomed here. I have told you this plenty of times."

/What is your connection to the Law of Cycles? I sense magic in you, but I do not recognize you; who did you contract with?/

She tilts her head. "Who knows. But," she moves her finger to the trigger, "I believe we have talked enough for today."

/You—/

His voice cuts off as she freezes time to empty her clip.

Time resumes, and Kyubey falls limp to the ground, his red and white body half blending into the snow.

She claps her hands, and he disappears.

The gun is slipped back into her buckler, but she remains standing, staring at the spot that he had occupied, just a moment ago.

The tremors start from her chest, blossoming and slowly working its way to her hands, spreading all the way down to her toes.

She presses her fingers into her legs, willing for the feelings to past.

She doesn't know how long she stands there, teeth grit, head bowed.

Something pulls her back, and blindly, she stumbles through the streets, following that lifeline that calls to her.

Even though half her vision blurs with fresh tears and the wind in her mind howls, she still remembers to dispel her magic. She shivers when she returns to her pajamas and steps inside.

Madoka is there once more, sitting by the entrance. This time she all but collapses against her.

Madoka gathers her in her arms, hugging her close and wrapping the blankets around her.

She sobs into her neck, her tears spilling, falling, seeking bare skin.

"Shhh," Madoka whispers into her ear. "It's okay, Homura-chan. You're okay."

She hiccups, hands gripping, clinging to Madoka as tightly as possible.

Hands stroke her head. "Shhh. You're okay."

/

She can hear her heartbeat—a constant, steady thump.

Her eyes are tired, and there's a light haze surrounding her mind.

Sleep though, is elusive. For her, and for Madoka.

She shifts, readjusting her position, entangling her legs around Madoka's.

"Homura-chan...?"

She moves her head. "Hm...?"

Hands press into her back. "I told you... not to be by yourself, didn't I?"

She buries her face into Madoka's shoulder.

Madoka falls back into silence, her hands moving to rub gentle circles up and down Homura's spine.

Her eyes feel heavy, and right before she falls asleep, she feels slight pressure on the top of her head.

"Goodnight, Homura-chan... I love you."

"I'm—sorry..." she mumbles as her consciousness fades away.

\\

Maybe the most frustrating thing about living in a dream that's based on reality, is that when she wakes, she never remembers—doesn't know exactly what it is she is waking to.

An unfamiliar ceiling overhead; arms tightly wrapped around her; an empty bed; white marbled floor, cushions underneath her as she had fallen asleep by the table; a familiar ceiling above.

Does the threat of Walpurgisnacht loom over these precious days? Is the clicking of the clock the painful countdown until everything resets—and she has to say goodbye again?

The familiar pathway to school; the rooftop that makes scenes play over and over in her mind.

Does insanity still lurk inside them? Will a simple truth push Mami over the edge?

Every time Sayaka nudges and tries to encourage Kyousuke towards Hitomi, is she hiding her tears behind her smile?

The one, maybe, the most changed is Kyouko, who smiles and laughs almost in a carefree way; that sharpness inside her seems to have been dulled down to a blunt edge.

Madoka though—is the one she watches the most.

Madoka, who's clumsy and sometimes trips because she's not paying attention.

Madoka, who gives her shy smiles. Who blushes, and stammers and—

Golden yellow is replaced by rose pink, and she knows—she should be happy—because, this is what she has wanted all along.

And yet—

/

The last day before winter break begins, and even the teachers seem more relaxed. Reminders are given that everyone should keep up with their studies, before the bell chimes one more time, signalling the end of classes.

She slowly packs all her belongings into her bag: textbooks, her laptop.

Soft footsteps, and she looks up to see Madoka by her desk, bag already in her hand as she grins.

"Let's go, Homura-chan! We're supposed to be meeting Mami-san outside."

Homura nods as she zips her bag closed. She stands as Madoka impatiently pulls her up. "Where are Miki Sayaka and Sakura Kyouko?"

Madoka blinks. "Eh? They—were just here."

"If you're looking for Sayaka-san," Hitomi cuts in as she approaches, "she went after Sakura-san. They—were yelling quite loudly; I'm surprised you didn't notice." Her eyes flicker to Homura, who tilts her head in her direction.

"Ah," Madoka blushes. "Uhm, do you have time to join us, Hitomi-chan?"

Hitomi shakes her head. "Unfortunately, I still have my lessons today, and then rehearsals for our recital." She tucks strands of hair behind her ear. "I know, you'll be busy during vacation, but," she briefly glances away, "perhaps we could spend some time together one of these days...?"

Madoka smiles. "Of course! Just tell me when you're free—maybe, sometime after we come back from our ski trip?"

Hitomi mirrors her smile, face looking relieved. "Yes, that sounds like a good plan. I will contact you later once my schedule is set." She bows. "I will take my leave here. Good day, Madoka-san," she nods to Homura, "Akemi-san."

"Bye, Hitomi-chan."

"Shizuki Hitomi."

Madoka turns to Homura. "Let's go get our jackets and meet everyone, Homura-chan."

She nods, and as she starts walking, Madoka automatically joins her side.

/

They meet Mami at the gates, and the smile she gives them seems a bit strained.

Sayaka and Kyouko flank her sides, both looking somehow subdued as they brush snow from their clothes.

"Kaname-san, Akemi-san." Mami steps forward. "We'll drop by the market first like we discussed." She's still smiling when she turns to Kyouko and Sayaka. "You two will behave yourself, are we clear?"

"Yes..." they agree weakly.

Mami nods in approval, before she faces Madoka and Homura once more. "Shall we?"

\\

Instead of the familiar path towards the high rise apartments, they head to one of the neighborhoods that is closer to where Madoka lives.

Instead of a two room apartment, they step into an unfamiliar house, where unfamiliar pictures hang on the walls, and unfamiliar decor is placed all around.

Most notable is the kotatsu set up in the living room, with no angular glass table in sight.

"Please make yourselves at home," Mami tells them as she neatly places her shoes to the side. "I'll put our perishables into the refrigerator, before preparing the snacks."

"Ah, let us help you, Mami-san." Madoka quickly fixes her shoes into a neat pile, before she glances to Homura. She nods, and they both follow Mami into the kitchen.

They work in tandem, quiet, save for the rustling of their bags and the sounds as they deposit food into the fridge.

"Akemi-san, can you retrieve a few plates please?"

She should know where they are by now, but she remains rooted in place because she still can't remember which cupboard holds what dishware.

There's a light touch on her back. She turns, and Madoka nods to the cupboard to their left.

She mouths a silent 'thank you,' and Madoka smiles, before she moves to help Mami with the tea.

Homura pulls open the cupboard, and as she reaches for the plates, she wonders if, maybe, Madoka really remembers more than it seemed.

The presence of Kyubey, however, are signs that the barrier is weakening.

How long then, until Madoka—

/

As they sit around the table, she feels herself starting to nod off. Her stomach is full, and she's nice and toasty as she leans against Madoka.

Just as she's falling asleep, she feels Madoka shift.

"I'll be right back, Homura-chan. Don't fall asleep."

Reluctantly, she forces her eyes open. She watches as Madoka follows Mami into the kitchen, though her eyes start to droop close before they enter.

She jumps, feeling her heart hammering when there's a heavy thump on her back.

"Madoka said not to sleep, Homura," Sayaka tells her, her voice grating on her nerves in her half-sleep daze.

Her groan is interrupted as she tries to stifle her yawn. She lifts her glasses to wipe her tears, and is in the process of slipping them back on when the lights turn off.

She tilts her head up, blinking at the sudden darkness.

Before she can move to pull out her phone, there's light from the kitchen, and a familiar voice singing as a cake is carried in her hands.

The others join in, four voices blending together as Madoka walks closer.

The apex of the song, followed by the end where Sayaka tries to harmonize, and her voice cracks ever so slightly during the last note.

Kyouko laughs loudly, though the elbow in her stomach turns her laughter into a breathy groan.

The flame from the candle sways and flickers, casting strange shadows to dance across Madoka's face.

"Happy Birthday, Homura-chan," Madoka tells her, smiling brightly. "Make a wish."

Those words has her breath hitching, and the room spins and spins because she can't seem to draw in a breath.

She vaguely realizes the lights are turned on, and it takes her a moment, until she realizes that she's now lying with her head in Madoka's lap.

Madoka is stroking her head, and stops when she sees lavender peering up at her.

"Homura-chan? I'm sorry, are you alright?"

She nods. "I'm—fine. I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me..."

Madoka hums softly, and she's gentle as she wipes the remaining tears from Homura's face. "How are you feeling? Can you sit up?"

"I..." she breathes out slowly. "Can... we stay like this, for a while longer...?"

"Take all the time you need, Homura-chan." Madoka continues to stroke her head, and she closes her eyes, taking comfort as she feels those small hands move across.

\\

The strike of midnight, and Madoka gathers her in her arms, before she presses a kiss on her cheek.

"Happy Birthday, Homura-chan," she whispers softly into her ear.

She curls her body closer. "Thank you... Ma-doka...?"

"Hm?"

"I... don't want to go..."

Fingers thread in her hair. "It'll be okay, Homura-chan. I'll be there with you."

She swallows, trying to push down that fear building in her chest.

An unfamiliar, different type of fear.

"Shhhh." Madoka kisses her head. "It'll be okay, Homura-chan. Let's try and get some sleep, okay?"

She nods, though sleep is the last thing on her mind.

/

It's a strange world, filled and entwined with what ifs and what could have beens.

The car ride is quiet, and Madoka is napping on her shoulder as she stares out the window.

Unintentionally, as she glances up, she somehow catches Tomohisa's eyes in the side view mirror. He smiles, and she quickly averts her gaze.

"Mama!" Takkun pounds his fist into his car seat, causing Homura to jump, and the vibrations wake Madoka up.

"What is it, Takkun?"

"Bathrooom!"

"Ahh."

"We just passed a sign for a rest stop," Tomohisa tells her.

"Alright, let's stop there for a bit." Junko briefly glances to the rear view mirror, "can you wait for a few minutes, Takkun?"

"I'll tryyyy."

"Good."

They continue driving, until Tomohisa points out the exit, and Junko signals and steers the car out of the highway.

Once parked in front of the small gas station, they all pile out of the car to stretch their legs.

"I'll take Takkun in first," Tomohisa says as he carries Takkun with him inside.

"Thanks." Junko turns to Madoka and Homura, and smiles at their sleepy faces. "Ahhh, I must be getting old," she groans as she tries to work out the kink in her back.

Madoka looks at her in worry. "Are you okay, Mama?"

"Well," Junko gently taps on her back with her fist, "I wouldn't mind a massage from you later. But," she straightens out, and walks towards them to slip her arms around their shoulders. "Let's go see what we can buy here; maybe they'll have something different than what we're used to."

"Okay, Mama."

She leads them both inside.

\\

They reach their destination by evening, and the first thing they do is check into the hotel reserved under Junko's name.

"Homura-chan?"

Homura stands in front of the window, staring at the city lights blinking down below. She turns as arms are slipped around her waist.

Madoka snuggles against her. "Mama asks what you would like to eat for dinner."

"Anything is fine," Homura murmurs softly.

"Are you sure?"

She nods. "Yes. I... have no preference."

Those small arms around her waist tighten ever so briefly, before Madoka pulls away to frown at her. "Homura-chan."

Her tone tells her that Madoka is once again upset. "Yes...?"

Madoka shakes her head with a small sigh. She trails one hand down to intertwine her fingers with Homura's. "This trip is for you," she says as she stares into Homura's eyes.

Eye-contact is broken as Homura looks away. "I... didn't—"

Madoka tugs her hand. "Don't you dare apologize, Homura-chan. You're not a burden—and you belong here, with us, with," her voice drops to a whisper, "—me."

Homura swallows, trying to push her tears back. "I—"

"Madoka? Homura? Have you two decided?"

Junko's voice reminds them that they're not alone. Madoka turns to her mother, hand gripping Homura's stubbornly, not allowing her to let go.

"Homura-chan," her eyes flicker over to her briefly, "wants to eat at a family restaurant," she finishes with a smile.

Junko nods as she swings her car keys in her hands. "Alright. We'll ask the front desk if they have any suggestions. Do you two need to freshen up first before we go?"

Madoka is reminded that she needed to use the bathroom before she had confronted Homura.

"Yes!" She dashes off to use the bathroom.

/

Christmas, and the streets are overflowing with couples walking underneath the light snow.

She doesn't remember much of her childhood here, and the small details to the decorations and the lights are all made from Madoka's memories.

Just like everything else.

Unabashedly, Madoka grips her hand tightly, swinging them as they follow after Junko and Tomohisa and Takkun.

"Homura-chan?"

She leans over to hear Madoka better through the buzz of the crowd. "Yes, Madoka?"

"Do you..." Madoka's eyes shift nervously, "...Do you miss, living here?"

Her walking slows down to a complete stop as she mulls over Madoka's words. "I... don't really remember. But," she glances to Madoka, before she shakes her head "...no, I don't, not really. You... weren't here..."

Madoka smiles as her cheeks flush pink. "We... should catch up to Mama and Papa..." She shyly tugs Homura forward.

\\

The next day, and her feet drag as she follows Madoka down the snow covered path.

Tall slabs of stone surround them, carved with family names that mark each grave.

Junko leads the way with directions to a certain plot of land. The closer they get, the more the weight in her stomach seems to increase. She grips Madoka's hand tightly, her own knuckles as white as snow.

"It'll be okay, Homura-chan," Madoka murmurs into her ear.

Her body shakes, and her breaths come out in rapid gasps.

Madoka gathers her in her arms, and she presses her face into Madoka's shoulder.

"I—" she chokes on her words.

"It's okay, Homura-chan." Madoka rubs her back, trying to calm her down. "You—"

She pushes away from Madoka. "I can't—" she shakes her head, tears now in her eyes. "I just—" she grits her teeth, and starts running in an aimless direction—to anywhere that's not here.

"Homura-chan!"

Even as Madoka calls out to her, the whispers in her ears call louder. She continues running, ignoring that painful tug around her heart as it tries to stop her in her tracks.

/

When she hears the soft crunch from footsteps in the snow, she freezes, trying to keep her breaths from giving away her location.

More footsteps, before things fall silent again.

She leans back against the wall, ignoring the chill that seems to have seeped into her body.

"Homura-chan."

She whimpers, and buries her face into her knees.

Seconds later, Madoka takes a seat next to her. She unwraps the scarf around her neck, and expertly winds the cloth around Homura's.

"Papa took Takkun back to the car to wait for us," she murmurs as she presses her shoulder against Homura.

"I'm sorry," she mumbles into her legs.

"We split up, to look for you. Mama's meeting us... there."

She pulls back, and her glasses are fogged over from her warm breath. "...Can't..." she licks her dry lips, "can't we just... leave...?"

Madoka takes her hands. She starts rubbing them to warm them up. "Homura-chan..."

"I—can't," she croaks out, hating how tears are once again in her eyes.

"...You can."

She squeezes her eyes shut. "I—can't!"

Instead of replying, Madoka moves to help Homura up. "Let's go, Homura-chan."

She shakes her head. "N-No—"

Strong hands grip her arms, and though Madoka is smaller than her—she's still strong enough to pull her to her feet.

"I'm here," Madoka tells her as she grips her hand tightly.

"I'm—"

There's a gentle hand cupping her cheek, and Madoka leans forward, resting her forehead against hers. "I'm here," she repeats.

She sucks in a shaky breath; she's shivering—but not from the cold.

"Let's go, Homura-chan."

A light tug, and she stumbles after Madoka as they once again walk down the snowy paths.

/

She stares at the ceiling; one lamp remains lit as Takkun still can't sleep without a night light.

But it's not like she can really see anyways; her glasses are neatly folded on the night stand, and she listens with half an ear at the gentle sounds of breathing in the bed nearby.

Madoka shifts under the blankets, and she can feel her body heat permeating through their clothes.

"Homura-chan...?" Madoka's breathy whisper tickles her neck, and she turns her head to see rose pink staring at her. A silent question in those eyes, and she blinks as one tear rolls down.

Gentle fingers brush the tears away.

Her chest still feels heavy—but also lighter.

She turns her whole body this time, and Madoka welcomes her in her arms. Kisses are pressed against her head, and she closes her eyes as she bunches fabric in her hands.

"I love you," she whispers softly.

Madoka's reply is instant. "I love you, too."

\\

Their suitcases are sitting by the door, and they're double checking to make sure that nothing has been left behind.

She nervously fidgets with her jacket ends, tugging and pulling at the fabric as she struggles to say the words.

Madoka gently bumps her leg. She glances over, and Madoka gives her an encouraging smile.

"Alright, we have everything?" Junko asks as she digs through her bag for her keys.

Homura's mouth opens, but no sounds spill out. She snaps her mouth shut and turns her head, her brow furrowed in frustration.

"Mama," Madoka calls out for her.

"Hmm?" Junko turns back to face them, immediately noticing how tense Homura seems. Her face softens, and she moves over until she's in front of them. "Is something wrong?"

Madoka places her hand on Homura's back. "Homura-chan... has something she wants to say."

"Ah." Homura glances over, but quickly bows her head when she sees Junko smiling at her. "I... j-just... uhm... w-anted... to s-say..."

She's still not looking when hands pull her close; warmth, and the sweet smell of flowers.

"Homura, do you remember what I told you the first time you came to live with us?"

Junko takes her silence to mean that she doesn't.

"'Welcome home.'" Junko tilts Homura's head up, forcing her to look at her. "The moment you stepped into our house, is the moment you became a part of our family." Junko smiles. "It's been, how many years now, hm? And you're—still shy around us," her hands move, and she fixes Homura's collar back into place. "This—is just another step closer to letting you heal, Homura."

Homura glances down, her eyes now concentrated on Junko's feet. She watches as Junko starts to step back, and finally takes that step forward.

She barrels into Junko's chest, earning her an oof as Junko braces for her weight.

"Th...ank you," she murmurs into Junko's jacket.

Junko returns the hug. "You're welcome, Homura."

/

"Okay, we'll see you then, Sayaka-chan."

Junko glances briefly into the mirror as Madoka slips her phone back into her jacket.

"They're boarding the train?" she asks as she turns her attention back to the road.

"Uh huh. They'll be there before us, but Sayaka-chan says that they'll probably get something to eat as they wait."

Junko nods. "We'll probably stop soon for lunch too."

Homura keeps her eyes closed as she remains leaning against Madoka.

Madoka knows she's awake though, and returns one arm around Homura's waist.

The ride continues, and Junko turns up the volume on the radio.

The next thing she knows, Madoka is shaking her awake.

"Homura-chan? We're stopping for lunch."

She blinks sleepily. "O...kay," she murmurs. She tries to open her eyes, but the sunlight makes them squint shut.

Madoka slips her glasses back on, before she gently tugs Homura out of the car.

She yawns, and hears Takkun whine from being woken up from his own nap.

Madoka smiles when she sees that a section of Homura's hair is sticking up from their car ride. She runs her hands through the tangled mess.

"Thank you," Homura mumbles, resisting the urge to flick her hair behind her.

Madoka blushes, finally remembering that they're in a public place. She removes her hands, dropping them to take Homura's hand instead.

"Let's... go, Homura-chan. We're being left behind..."

\\

She's once again nodding off when she hears Takkun clapping loudly.

It startles her awake, and as she waits for her heart to return to normal, Madoka presses her face against her neck, still half asleep.

"Are we going up, Mama?" Takkun asks as he taps on the window, smiling at the view of the mountain in front.

"We're going to head alllllll the way up," Junko replies.

He claps again.

Madoka lightly groans in protest.

"It'll still take a while though," Tomohisa tells Takkun. He points to the line of cars in front. "Other people are going up the mountain too."

Takkun leans forward in his car seat. "Everyone else is going up too?"

"Yup. Sayaka-nee-chan is already up there too."

Takkun maneuvers his body so that he can see out the front window. "Already?"

"Yes, she left before us," Junko says as she steers the car into the turn lane to start their ascent up the mountain.

Takkun turns his head to look out the side window again. "How long until we get up there, Mama?"

"Mm," Junko quickly glances to Tomohisa.

Tomohisa gives Takkun a smile. "Judging from the amount of traffic, maybe an hour."

Takkun slaps his fist into his car seat, causing Homura to jump from the sound.

Madoka lifts her head. "Takkun, you have to be patient." She pushes her bangs to the side to squint at him.

"Patient?" he echoes.

"It means that you have to wait," Tomohisa tells him.

He slaps his car seat again, and this time Madoka frowns when Homura jumps once more.

"Takkun, don't do that please."

His mouth opens, but he lowers his hands into his lap. "I'm sorry."

Madoka reaches out to ruffle his hair, and he giggles as he tries to bat her hands away. "It's fine. It's just kind of loud, especially when we're all sitting so close."

He nods his head in understanding.

Madoka stifles a yawn, before she once again leans heavily against Homura. She closes her eyes. "Wake me up when we're further up the mountain, Homura-chan."

"Okay..." She leans closer. "Uhm, thank you..."

Madoka smiles. She turns her head, her eyes opening to stare at Homura's profile as she gazes out the window. Takkun is still asking questions, but his voice is now quieter. Still smiling, she once again closes her eyes.

\\

Crisp air; light, fluttering snow.

She brushes her hair back, eyes staring at the snowy banks that flank their sides.

At the mountain peaks that can be seen in the distance.

She recognizes those.

Arms wrap around her waist as a weight is pressed against her back. "Homura-chan, Papa is making hot cocoa. Did you want some?"

She brings her hands up, gentle as she captures Madoka's hands in her own. "Madoka..." She draws in a deep breath that's released as white wisps escaping her mouth. "Do... you—"

They both turn when they hear crackle of loose gravel, and see one of the small buses for the mountain rolling closer. It stops across the street, right in front of the bus stop.

There's a hydraulic hiss, and the sound of clattering as they see familiar figures through the windows.

Madoka pulls away. "Ah, there's Sayaka-chan and everyone."

The bus drives off, and Madoka waves them over.

"Madoka!" Sayaka waves back when she sees her.

They wait for another car to pass, before they're dashing across the street to join them.

"How was the trip?" Madoka asks as they follow her to the cabin.

On cue, Sayaka shoots Kyouko a glare. "It—could've been a lot better, except someone here," she nods towards Kyouko, "forgot one of her bags at our transfer. We had to double back, and luckily someone had found it and turned it in."

Kyouko kicks the ground with her shoe. "I already apologized for that!" she grumbles as she places a hand on her stomach. "I'm so hungryyyyy."

Madoka blinks. "You didn't get lunch?"

Mami clears her throat, interrupting Sayaka's response. "Unfortunately, retracing our steps back to the other station took most of our time." She sighs. "If I had known this were to happen, I would have packed more than a light snack..."

"Ah..." Madoka glances around, noting their varying levels of disappointment. "Uhm, there's... cocoa, and we brought groceries and soup and things before we left home."

Kyouko takes off towards the cabin at the mention of food.

"Kyouko! You're going to fall—you idiot!" Sayaka yells as she chases after her.

"They're both going to fall," Homura murmurs as the three of them watch.

Madoka winces when Kyouko slips on a patch of ice just as Sayaka reaches out to grab her jacket. She's pulled down with her, and they land in a pile of tangled limbs and luggage.

Mami sighs, and turns to face Homura and Madoka. "Putting those two aside, how was your trip here?"

"Mm," Madoka smiles and gently pats Homura's hand. "It... went well." Her smile turns sheepish. "At least, it seems it went better than yours did...?"

Mami places a hand to her chin. "Well, it was... eventful, to say the least. Thank you again for inviting us, Kaname-san, Akemi-san, even though I know originally this trip was meant to be a family event." Golden eyes flicker to Homura, who is now staring into the distance.

Madoka shakes her head, and tugs Homura along as they continue to the cabin. "Not at all, Mami-san! Mama was actually pretty happy when she heard that you three wanted to come." She briefly glances to Homura. "The more the merrier."

"Well, regardless..." Mami lowers her eyes, "Kyouko admitted to me the real reason why they wanted to go on this trip... Ah."

Madoka turns to Mami in alarm when she sees her wiping her tears away.

"Mami-san—"

Mami laughs softly, and shakes her head. "No, it's—just, thinking about how lucky I am to have such sweet kouhai... I'm... a bit sad that we'll be separated in a few months."

Madoka reaches for her hands. "It's—okay, Mami-san! We'll definitely keep in touch! No matter what!"

It's Madoka's determined expression that banishes the doubts from Mami's mind.

"I..." She gives Madoka a teary smile. "Thank you, Kaname-san. I would... really like that."

Madoka nods. "I'll make sure that all of us will keep in touch."

"Thank you. Now," Mami gently pulls her hands away, only to rub her arms, "I'm not sure about you two, but I wouldn't mind having a cup of hot tea to warm up."

Madoka eagerly leads the way to the cabin, and Homura is there to catch her when she slips on the same patch that had taken Kyouko and Sayaka down.

"Be careful," Homura murmurs into her ear as she helps her up.

Madoka hugs her tightly. "Thank you, Homura-chan."

When they finally straighten out, Mami is already inside.

She gives them a knowing wink when they enter.

\\

For a while—for a moment in time, she forgets.

It's just—bunny slopes, and powdered snow brushed off their clothes from their tumbles; laughs and smiles, and pelted snowballs.

Contests to see who can ride down the fastest. More challenges to see who can make the biggest snowman.

Hot cocoa, and fire that pops and crackles as they warm their bodies from the outside chill.

She forgets—and forgets—but then they'll be outside, and familiar faces will pass.

Girls their age; faces she remembers, but can't place a name to, because even after all that time, she still couldn't be bothered to get to know them.

Their paths will cross, their gazes will lock, and suddenly, she's transported to the main hall, where rumoured whispers echo in her ears: a Goddess; their savior; the Goddess and her—

But Madoka will shake her, and she'll rouse from her memories.

And that other girl will blink, and then scamper away with a blush.

"Homura-chan?" Rose pink, filled with worry, and maybe it's the trick of the light, but perhaps there's more gold now, peeking through.

She shakes her head. "It's... nothing."

Madoka bites her lip, unconvinced.

"Homura! Madoka! Hurry up!" Sayaka waves at them, breaking their strange atmosphere.

"We should... catch up," Homura murmurs as she gently pulls Madoka along.

Small fingers, attached to that small hand grip hers tightly.

"Okay, Homura-chan."

It's a soft whisper, loud enough for only her to hear.

/

The last day of their trip, there's a snowstorm warning with a high chance that they'll have to remain at the resort for another day or two until the roads are plowed clear.

She finds it strange, the sudden change in weather.

When early morning rolls around, she sneaks out as everyone is busy sleeping. She uses her magic to keep her warm as a whirlwind of ice and sleet twists around her.

The world seems to be weakening; how much longer now?

She turns suddenly, eyes wide, and rushes back to the cabin.

Snow is piled around her, and even with her magic, she finds it hard to navigate as her legs continue to sink into pockets of snow.

Chilled wind whips her hair in aimless directions, and at one point her glasses are too fogged for her to see anything in front of her.

Yet—she barrels forward, because—

Her heart drops, plummets, when she sees pink contrasting against the bleak white of the snowstorm.

"Madoka!" Her voice is captured, and carried away by the loud howls, and she frantically rushes towards her.

She drops to her knees, hands immediately reaching, and drawing Madoka close.

"Madoka...?"

Eyelids flutter open just a crack, and Madoka gives her a gentle smile when she sees her. "Homu...ra...chan...?"

"I-It'll be okay," she whispers softly.

"...Y-ou...left me... a-lone, aga...in."

"I'm-s-sorry," she chokes out. "Y-You'll be okay..."

"I'm... c-cold, Homu...ra...chan...?"

She shuts her eyes in concentration, willing, trying to mold her magic to surround Madoka. Her breath catches when nothing happens.

"W-Why, won't—"

She grips Madoka tightly, knowing how weak her pulse is—how cold she is.

What happens to those that die in this world?

She shakes her head.

She knows there's a way to save her.

The seconds tick by, and the more she wavers, the more she can feel Madoka—slipping away.

"I'm—sorry," she whispers, right before she leans down, her lips seeking Madoka's.

The flow of magic is immediate, her touch breathing life back into Madoka's chilled body.

Madoka feels stronger—much, much stronger, and knowing this, warm tears trickle down her face.

\\

It's the first time that Junko yells at her in this lifetime, and she keeps her head bowed.

In shame; in regret and—

The blankets over her shoulders fall off as Junko holds her and Madoka close.

"Thank goodness you two are okay."

She holds Junko tightly, burying her face into her chest as the tears continue to fall.

"I'm sorry—" she sobs out.

Even without looking, she knows the hand around her waist is Madoka's.

"I'm sorry," she repeats once more.

/

As predicted, they stay an extra day.

The storm clears, leaving a wake of crisp, cold air to hang in its wake.

She can never wander off too far—straying just a little, and someone's familiar voice will be calling out to her—pulling her back.

She stares across, to the mountains that have sat in the distance ever since they first set foot on this resort.

They're clearer now.

"Homura-chan?"

Fingers wind around hers, and she turns as Madoka joins her side.

"We're leaving soon."

Those words twist something in her chest, and she keeps her eyes glued to ground as she tries to swallow her tears.

Fingertips gently brush her cheek, trailing down until they're touching her chin. Her face is tilted up, and Madoka stares at her—golden eyes and all.

Madoka smiles. "Let's go, Homura-chan."

"Mado—"

A finger is pressed to her lips. "Let's go, Homura-chan."

\\

They return, and as planned, they meet up with Hitomi for lunch.

She's quiet, and withdrawn, and everyone but Madoka assumes it's because of their little incident at the ski resort.

Before New Year's, and they spend a full day cleaning.

Her room is already spotless, and she joins Madoka in her attempts to clean her room.

They instead spend hours poring over pictures taken in this lifetime, and she quietly watches as Madoka touches each picture gently, watches as her golden eyes files away each precious memory.

The strike of midnight, and as Takkun sleeps on Tomohisa's shoulder, they place down the containers of osechi, and dig in.

Junko smiles, and sets four glasses on the table, before filling each with liquid coloured like deep amber.

"It's usually sake, but," Junko holds out her cup, nodding both to Homura and Madoka.

They share a look, and together, they each pick up their drink.

"Here's to..." Junko gives them another smile, "...new beginnings."

They all raise their glasses, bringing them closer for that clink of glass.

Junko downs her alcohol like water, and Tomohisa takes a polite sip to savour the taste.

The liquid burns both of their throats, and Junko laughs loudly at their reactions.

/

In the morning, they visit the temple to ring in the New Year, and Madoka all but drags her up the stairs as they fight with the crowds to reach the top.

"Homura-chan."

She shouldn't be able to hear her over the murmurs of the crowd, but she does.

Reluctantly, she lifts her legs higher, and they weave through to try and find the others that have already arrived.

Just as her foot sets down on the final step, she has the strangest urge to turn around.

Her fingers slacken, and Madoka is the one holding on as she sees a familiar building towering in the distance.

She feels a tug on her hand, and Madoka leads her towards the lines to where they can offer a donation before they make a wish.

She offers a 500yen coin, and goes through the motions of ringing the bell, of clapping her hands, of bowing her head.

But there are no thoughts in her mind—and there's no wish whispered from her lips.

\\

They're still separated from the others, but she doesn't care, and Madoka doesn't seem to mind.

They buy their fortunes for the year, and she almost crumples up her paper in frustration when she sees her draw. Madoka stops her by taking her hand, and then depositing both papers into her coat pocket.

She glares at the ground, angry tears prickling in her eyes, but Madoka is patient and understanding, and merely drags her along through the crowds.

Madoka sends a message to the others, that they'll head home first, and they join the lines of people descending the stairs to head back to the city.

She keeps quiet as they continue to walk back, and the closer they get, the more that sinking feeling in her chest increases.

The streets are empty, and she knows it's not because everyone is at the shrine.

She stops, and Madoka stops.

"Mado—"

Lips capture hers, and her words are cut off as hands roughly pull her close.

"Ma—"

Every word is swallowed as Madoka refuses to let her move away.

Her head lightens as the oxygen decreases, and when they finally part, they're both gasping for breath.

Madoka recovers first, slipping her arms around Homura's waist to rest her head on her chest.

"Homura-chan. It's okay."

"But—"

Madoka lifts her head, and the stern look in her eyes drops the protest from her lips.

Madoka's face softens into a gentle smile. "Thank you. I..." she closes her eyes, the smile never leaving her face. "I'm, satisfied, with what you have given me."

She pulls away, eyes opening, still smiling. She gently takes Homura's hand.

"Let's... go home, Homura-chan."

The words are still stuck in her throat.

She nods.

/

Snow falls, a light, white dust, drifting down to cover the streets of Mitakihara down below.

When they reach their destination, Madoka turns to her with a small laugh.

Gentle hands brush snowflakes away, and almost like a reflex, Madoka leans forward to kiss her lips.

She pulls away, but she's smiling. "It's... kind of strange, being shorter than you again," she murmurs softly.

She agrees.

Hand in hand, they continue inside.

At the entrance, Madoka's family is standing there, waiting.

Junko opens her arms, and Madoka drops Homura's hand to give her mother a bone crushing hug.

She continues to stand awkwardly to the side as Madoka repeats the process and hugs her father. When she reaches Takkun, she picks him up, and twirls him around, his loud giggle echoing and bouncing off the walls.

Once she sets him back down, as one, they turn to Homura, who flinches and averts her eyes.

"Homura."

She raises her head, and Junko has her arms held out.

"Come here."

It's warm inside, and the snow stuck to their clothes has melted. The snow on her shoes too, and she stares at the small droplets that have pooled on the floor.

"Homura-chan."

Madoka's voice snaps her attention back up. She ambles forward, body heavy, guilt draped over her shoulders.

Junko gathers her in her arms, and that familiar smell of flowers floods her senses.

"Thank you, Homura."

With wide eyes, she pulls away. The question sits on her lips, but Junko doesn't allow that word to slip from her mouth.

"For taking care of my daughter." Junko readjusts her collar back into place, before she smooths down the nonexistent crinkles on Homura's jacket. "I know she's in good hands."

Before Homura can respond, fingers are pulling at her cheeks as her face is stretched.

"I have always told you you looked better smiling, Homura."

Junko gives her last one grin, one last wink, before she drops her hands and turns to Madoka.

"Madoka." She waves her over, and obediently, Madoka moves to stand in front of her.

"Yes, Mama?"

Junko smiles, and places her hands on her shoulders. "You've... grown up, haven't you?"

Madoka nods. "I have, Mama."

Junko cups her cheeks, tears now gathering in her eyes. "I'm so proud of you, you know that, don't you?"

Madoka's lips quiver, and she finds it hard to respond. "Y-es."

"Mama, was always worried, you know? That... I wouldn't be able to raise you correctly." Junko laughs as she dabs Madoka's eyes with her sleeve. "You, are my first; my baby girl." She grins, and leans forward to kiss Madoka's forehead. "I raised a good kid."

Madoka's face crumples, and Junko holds her tightly as she sobs into her chest.

"You're doing fine, Madoka. You—" Junko smiles at Homura, "you and Homura both. Even though Mama won't be there with you," she kisses Madoka's forehead once more, before pushing her away, "I will always be with you."

"Mama—"

Junko shakes her head. "Madoka, what I have always taught you?"

"...To always finish what I started."

Junko nods, and takes one step back to join Tomohisa's side. He slips one arm around her waist as the other holds Takkun tightly.

"You'll... no," Junko shakes her head again. "You're doing just fine. We will always love you."

Madoka nods, mouth pressed shut as she watches her family fade away. She can feel Homura by her side, and she turns to bury her face into her shoulder.

"...I'm sorry," Homura whispers.

One last sniffle, before she stands to her full height. "Let's... go home, Homura-chan."

Madoka is engulfed in white light, and she watches as the light expands, grows, blooms out. As Madoka's hair extends and extends. As that ever familiar white dress, with that ever flowing tail large enough to encompass the universe billows behind her.

Madoka turns to her, and so used to a shorter, smaller Madoka, she has to bring her eyes up to meet her gaze.

A steady hand is held out, and there's a shine from the band wrapped around her ringer. "Homura-chan?"

Her own hand shakes and trembles, but Madoka steps forward—slipping her arms around her waist.

"Home, Homura-chan."

She nods even as tears spill out.

\\

"Madoka...?"

"Hm?"

She rolls over to face Madoka, who is lying besides her. "...What... about...?"

Just the thought of those beady red eyes sends shivers through her body, and Madoka holds her close.

"Shh. It's okay. They're... well, they'll be busy for a little while."

Homura grips her tightly. "What—do you mean...?"

Madoka laughs softly into her ear. "Mm. Well, they... have their own reasons for the things they do. They weren't lying at least, when they said they were trying to reverse entropy."

"But—"

Madoka draws her in closer, eyes closing at the familiar feel of Homura against her. "It's okay. No matter what they do, there are still rules that they need to abide by. That's—" she exhales slowly, "that's why I couldn't completely turn into a Witch even after they had captured me. Not to mention," she trails her hand down Homura's back, earning her another shiver, but this time, for different reasons, "I knew that you'd save me."

"I'm—" She jumps when Madoka pinches her side.

"Homura-chan. Stop apologizing."

"But—"

Madoka shakes her head, "stop, please. If, anything, it should be me that should apologize."

"...Why—"

"I—... you gave up your happiness for mine... Your parents..."

She draws in a small breath. "Oh."

"I—"

"It's—fine."

And it really, really is.

Gone, is that fog in her mind when she thinks of her family. She remembers her parents, and after that, she remembers Junko and Tomohisa.

Takkun, and Madoka.

"It's fine," she repeats.

Madoka finally pulls back to look at her. "But, you know, it... reminded me, just how strong you are."

She blinks in confusion. "What... do you mean?"

Madoka brings her hands up to hold Homura's face. "Even... after what had happened, you never gave up. You were sick, but you held on. I always knew that you were stronger than you thought you were—even from the first day I met you."

Lavender shifts to the side to avoid Madoka's eyes. "I'm—not. I'm—"

"Thank you, Homura-chan."

"I couldn't—"

"...I saw my family again—" her voice cuts off and Homura turns to her in fear. Madoka smiles with teary eyes, and shakes her head. "...Thank you, for giving me the opportunity to say goodbye."

Homura is suddenly holding her tightly. "Y-You should'n't have had to say goodbye! You—should've—stayed there, with them! Why—why couldn't—you—just let me go?" she sobs out. "You—could've been happy, living your life as Kaname Madoka!"

Madoka gently strokes her hair. "I already told you, Homura-chan: Kaname Madoka doesn't exist anymore."

"She did! She existed—she existed—"

"I'm, Akemi Madoka, remember? Your wife."

"I—"

"I made my wish, Homura-chan. There's no way that I will regret it; I'm happy here, with you. Maybe... it's you that's not happy here, with me?"

"That's—impossible! I'm happy here, because Madoka is here—"

"Then—we're both happy here, Homura-chan."

"You—"

"Homura-chan, stay here, with me, please?"

"I would—never leave you—"

"I love you."

"I—love—you—"

Madoka hugs her tightly. "Thank you, for existing in my life. You're—everything—and more than I could ever ask for."

Her words catch in her throat, and she can only convey her feelings by hugging Madoka as hard as possible.

Madoka smiles widely. "I love you so much, Homura-chan."

/

It's hard, adapting and forgetting and remembering at the same time.

She has days when she wants to sleep; days where only Madoka can coax her into opening her eyes.

The others worry—that her entering the barrier had been a horrible plan all along.

Homura—seems—and feels like she has returned back to the Homura from long ago—but Madoka shakes her head, and reassures them that she's recovering.

She doesn't dream of what could have been—but of things that have happened, and of things that she had experienced.

Sometimes they're bad dreams. Sometimes, and more often, they're good.

It's slow—but they have all the time in the world.

\\

The hills are covered in powdered white; trails of footsteps and lines from sleds and skis and snowboards disappearing as snow falls in its place.

There's a race downhill, and Sayaka and Kyouko are at the forefront, shouting insults at each other as they move at breakneck speeds.

Crowds of other girls cheer them on, and each race, there's a new bet for a new winner; so far, it's tied, and it looks like the next race will be Sayaka's win.

Today, everyone is outside, save for two lone figures that are making their way down the Great Hall. It's still decorated with white marble—carpeted with red cloth—still lined with banners painted in pink and purple.

Still frozen in time, waiting for that wedding to continue before Madoka had been whisked away.

"Are you sure you're okay, Homura-chan?" Madoka stares at her in worry. "You're not too cold, are you?"

She shakes her head. "I'm fine. It's... really warm, actually." With her free hand, she gestures to the poofy jacket that Madoka has given her, to the lined clothes, to the scarf wound around her neck. "I'm more worried about you," she murmurs, noting with slight amusement that Madoka is still wearing her Goddess dress that is drafty in certain areas.

"I'm fine," Madoka says as she wraps her arms around Homura, "I have a personal heater, after all."

"Mm..." She unwinds her scarf, knowing that it's extra long, just for this purpose.

Madoka grins as Homura encircles the cloth around her neck, and the sight draws a small smile on her lips.

They continue moving, and unconsciously, she looks around, eyes taking in the decorations for their long awaited day.

The real ceremony had happened in their garden, and only the original magical girls from Mitakihara had been present.

Kyouko had performed the rites, and Nagisa had carried the rings in. As planned, Sayaka had walked Madoka to the altar, and when they had exchanged vows, Mami had wept in joy.

"They'll wait for however long until you recover," Madoka murmurs into her ear as she leans her head on her shoulder. "None of them say it, but they're all waiting for you."

She stops, and Madoka stops. "Madoka?"

"Hm?"

"Are—you really happy here?"

"Mm." She closes her eyes. She has memories of her past life, of everyone's past life. Of their could have beens, their possibilities, the people that they would've eventually become.

The people they turned out to be.

Her eyes open as she smiles. "Homura-chan. You know... maybe—living in that barrier was exactly what we all needed. Yes, I was happy there, with my family," she squeezes Homura's hand, "...with you. But, it reminded me why I made my wish in the first place. Everyone's living the best that they can. Nothing is guaranteed in life, and—we can only hope that we'll have a happy ending. Even—even if things are painful, they're why we can still hope for better. You... are the one that showed me this, Homura-chan."

She moves, until one hand rests against Homura's cheek.

"Homura-chan... it's...okay. You've worked hard enough, long enough. I've, already said goodbye. Mama, Papa, Takkun, they will always be with me. I know it's hard, but, let's walk forward, okay? Start our new lives as Akemi Madoka, and Akemi Homura."

She swallows heavily, hating how her old self shines through at the worst times. Madoka removes her glasses for her, and gently wipes the tears from her eyes.

"Homura-chan?" Madoka leans their foreheads together, and she stares into golden yellow that is brighter than any sun she has seen.

She still has regrets; still has that ball of self-hatred coiled in her chest.

But—it's smaller now, and the whispers aren't as loud.

"I like..." she licks her lips nervously, "I like, when you use... my last name..."

Madoka grins. "I like... using your last name, too, Homura-chan..."

Hands trail down and down, and Madoka's grin widens almost dangerously.

"There's... no one here, Homura-chan..."

She gulps as her clothes suddenly feel too warm. "W-Wait—"

The scarf around her neck no longer provides comfort, and she can't run because it's also attached to Madoka.

With wide eyes, she holds out her hands. "Wait—"

Madoka tackles her, and they land roughly on soft velvet. "I've waited long enough, Homura-chan..."

---

AN: Yes, this is the end of 'to eternity'. Thank you for reading!