Disclaimer: J.R.R. Tolkien owns all save for characters not in his works

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

The Carrock

With a renewed sense of purpose the Company made their way down the Carrock, down the massive steps that were meant for someone much larger. It was slow going, and they hand to help each other. After her stunt with death in the mountains, the dwarves were always at her side, offering hands, and keeping an eye on her. Almost as if they were afraid she would fall once more. Bilbo remained near her, hovering like worried mother hen, saying nothing but always there.

As for herself, she did not wholly loath the attention. It was somewhat endearing while at the same time annoying, but she knew they meant well. What bothered her the most were the injuries that ached and stung every time she moved. Her back, bruised as it was, protested with each movement that stretched or jarred it.

Once they were finally down, they stumbled away from the pillar and flopped down on the ground, exhausted and hungry. No one spoke for a time until Bombur, after his stomach gave a loud growl, spoke.

"Have we got any food?"

"Left over mutton," Dori sighed, "cooked and cold."

"We might be able to find something in these woods . . ." Fili added, his eyes moving from the trees to his brothers bow. The younger caught on quickly.

"Have we got any water?" Bilbo asked, wiping his hand across his sweaty forehead. Bofur tossed the hobbit his water skin. It was only half full.

"There must be a river or stream nearby," Nori said, a desperate note in his voice. They all looked to Gandalf. The wizard hummed, leaning his weight on his staff from where he sat on a lone boulder. They were too tired to demand an answer and waited for Gandalf.

"I do believe there is a river near here," he murmured. The news brightened their spirits. They entered the small forest ahead of them, following the wizard as he led them away from the mountain and nearer to the sound of running water. In a clearing, covered in long green grass Gandalf stopped and faced them. "The river should be through those trees. For now we should rest-"

"And bathe!" Bilbo cut in looking eagerly to the trees. At his words Nuil found herself realizing just how much she needed to bathe, to get the dirt and blood off her and rid herself of the sweat that had accumulated. She also noted the smell of the dwarrow around her, and wrinkled her nose. They smelled awful. The stench that came from weeks worth of not bathing and something that had quite possibly died.

There was a pause before the first article of clothing flew through the air and all at once twelve dwarves were rushing towards the river. Bilbo stared after them, looking slightly discomforted.

"Well," he said feigning brightness, "I guess I better go . . . too."

Nuil smiled at him as he slowly followed. She wanted to bathe too, but not when twelve- thirteen males were in the river. Perhaps if she went up river. Gandalf disappeared after Bilbo leaving her alone with Thorin who took off his coat so carefully that she knew that his injuries still bothered him. He slung it over his arm before raising his eyes to meet hers.

"I'll wait here," she murmured. It was clear to her that he wanted her to stay safe, and now it seemed that finding a spot to bathe might take her too far from them. He nodded before going through the trees. Hm, he headed in a slightly different direction. Nuil stared after him, a frown creasing her brows. Sitting on a fallen tree she rested her chin on her hands and waited.

Her eyes did not stray from the spot Thorin had disappeared through, even when Gandalf reappeared and settled himself down with his pipe. The two sat in silence until the wizard called to her. Nuil turned to look at Gandalf with a raised brow, waiting expectantly.

"You are a lucky woman, Nuilweyil," he murmured after drawing another drag from his pipe. The smoke left his mouth spiraling up into the air as it thinned out. She watched it rise away before narrowing her eyes at the wizard. "Not many escape death."

"Do you not believe me?" she uttered lowly. "Would you pass judgment on me?"

"Nay, dear child," he replied staring off into the trees. "It is, as I had thought when we first met. I believed you to be small part in this quest. You held no great ties to the Lonely Mountain, you were certainly not a dwarf . . . I believe I came to the hasty decision that you were unimportant to the outcome of all this."

Nuil stared at him, not feeling as insulted as she probably ought to. But he had been aloof towards her so far, so his confession did not surprise her too terribly.

"Forgive me for saying this, but I believed that you were a replaceable member with no purpose."

"I do not take offense, Gandalf. Though I should, no doubt. I did not take much stock in you either." Nuil fought the curling of his lips as Gandalf lowered his pipe and narrowed his eyes at her. Fighting to remain emotionless she turned her eyes back to the trees, listening to the faint sounds of the company yelling from the river.

"The Valar work in strange ways indeed," he huffed a moment later. "But now I see you are far more important than I had given you credit for. A higher part in this quest you play, if the outcome depends on your life."

She pressed her lips together, thinking of the words that Irmo had told her. Sudden panic flared to life within her, so fierce and heart clenching that Nuil could feel herself losing control of her thoughts and emotions. Nuil looked to Gandalf a desperate look in her eyes.

"He told me that they would fall without me." She murmured. "That they would only spare my life once. Gandalf, I may die before this quest ends, we all might. There is no guarantee that I will live to see my purpose fulfilled. What if I fail?"

Gandalf looked at her, brows drawing together in deep thought. He found her sudden fear almost disconcerting. And the knowledge that she was for lack of a better term, reborn, added to the wizards wariness of the situation. Her fate was tied closely to that of the Company, and more importantly to the fate of Thorin. A dwarf, who had changed, since Rivendell. Gandalf could see it in the shadowed look in the dwarf kings eyes. It only made Elrond's words about the gold sickness affecting the line of Durin more important. It worried Gandalf. Deeply.

"The path that you now tread is a difficult one," he finally said. Nuil's chin quivered, and she stubbornly blinked, looking away. "All that you can do is use the time you have been given well."

Nuil opened her mouth to speak, to say anything, but found that there was nothing to say. Nothing to demand a better answer, because Gandalf looked puzzled. He was just as uncertain as she was. But his words did calm her, if only a little. Knowing that Thorin's fate, and his nephews, rested on her shoulders, was overwhelming. She could not bear it if she was the reason for their deaths. Nuil had started this quest with the goal to keep them alive. Protect them from the dangers of the wilds . . . would she now have to protect them from herself? From her death?

What an absurd thought.

The snapping of twigs brought Nuil out of her thoughts, her eyes swiftly moving to see Bilbo emerging from the trees. His curly hair was wet, face flushed, and grumbling.

"Ah, Bilbo," Gandalf greeted.

"I swear!" he muttered stomping over to them. "It's as if I'm surrounded by large hairy children!" He huffed sitting on a fallen tree.

"Now, now . . ." Gandalf went on to console Bilbo and Nuil shot him a sympathetic look before rising and heading towards the trees. Gandalf's voice grew fainter as she picked her way through the foliage, branches whipping against her arms and legs as she pushed her way through the trees. Sunlight streamed down through gaps in the branches overhead, lighting the ground with shafts of light. It was soothing to her troubled thoughts, almost.

Yet there was still that nagging thought in the back of her mind. The doubt. Suddenly she was more important to the success of this quest. Before, Nuil held very little care in whether or not she lived or died, as long as Thorin, Fili, Kili and Bilbo made it alive. Now? She had to watch out for herself as well.

She emerged on the bank of the river, the trees falling away sharply to the water, roots twisting out over the water. The clear river went lazily by, rippling and bending as it went around the roots. It was a bend in the river, the raucous yells of the company reaching her ears from downstream. As she watched the water it became apparent how much she needed to bathe, having not done so properly since Rivendell, a good fortnight ago.

Pulling off her beaten boots and worn socks, Nuil made quick work of undressing, leaving only her under tunic on. Her clothing, stiff with sweat and dirt, lay in the tall grass- she would wash them later. Edging closer to the water, Nuil lowered herself down, stifling a gasp as the icy cold water met her skin. Once her feet felt the muddy riverbed she let go of the bank and submerged her head, quickly rising with a gasp.

Mahal it was cold!

Nuil set to work washing and scrubbing the dirt off her face and body. Layers of dirt and blood were washed away, leaving her skin a lighter color, and she was able to take in all her injuries. Bruises littered her skin, and when she twisted lifting her tunic, she could see the angry purple bruise covering her back. With a sigh she turned towards the bank, trying not think about how much it would hurt in the coming days.

She froze, seeing a familiar figure standing there. They stood staring at each other silently, the water, wind and birds making the only noises. The current pulled at her tunic, making her all too aware of her unclothed state. The fabric clung to her skin, leaving nothing to the imagination. Swallowing thickly she clenched her jaw, seeing his hooded look.

"Toss me my clothes, will you?" she asked. "They need to be washed."

He didn't move for a moment, but then he did, throwing her over tunic and pants to her. Nuil promptly turned her back, submerging the dirty clothes and watched at the water around them clouded up. She took a deep breath, trying not to think of his gaze, still boring into her. Goosebumps rose on her flesh and a shiver ran down her spine. When she was done she slowly turned back to face him, fighting the flush that she could feel rising up her neck.

Grabbing hold of the roots she hauled herself up, somewhat pleased when he offered her a hand and pulled her the rest of the way. But he kept his grip on her, pulling her flush against his chest, one arm wrapping around her waist. With only her dripping clothing between them, she became all too aware of how close they were. Tiny droplets of water ran down her legs, and she shivered against him as the wind picked up.

Almost timidly she raised her eyes to meet his, finding that his were dark and full of desire. Instantly her lower belly grew hot and her knees grew weak. Now there had been many times in their long relationship that she had felt overwhelmed by his stare alone, but this felt different. His look made her feel as though she was . . . completely bared to him, even if her under tunic was the only thing saving her modesty at the moment.

"Thorin . . ."

"Don't," he growled looking down at her fiercely.

"But-" she gasped as he caught her lips, effectively silencing her, and sending a jolt of fire through her. His other hand wound itself into her wet hair, and he pulled her head back as his lips left hers to trail down her skin. All she could do was gasp as his lips trailed down her exposed neck, his beard brushing against her skin. Her breath hitched when he kissed the dip between her breasts, her hands gripping his tunic tightly. Overwhelming desire filled her, and her thoughts were becoming increasingly incoherent, even as he continued his kisses back up the column of her throat.

"Nuilweyil," he breathed roughly below her ear, eliciting a moan from her. One of his hands found her thigh, bringing it up around his waist as he lowered them towards the ground. The tall grass bent as her back met the ground and he continued his ministrations, pressing closer to her. She readily returned kisses, earning a low growl from deep within his chest until they broke apart, panting.

Slowly the cloud in her mind began to clear and Nuil realized just what was going on, her eyes straying to the opening of Thorin's tunic, baring his chest covered in a layer of dark hair. Though she wanted nothing more than to continue, somewhere in her mind she knew she could not.

"Thorin," she said breathlessly. "We should get back."

A long sigh passed his lips and he pressed another lingering kiss to her lips, leaving them numb before burrowing his face against her neck and breathing in deeply. Nuil wrapped her wrapped her arms around him, pressing him closer as he murmured against her skin.

"Not yet, thakul âzyung," he growled, holding her tightly.

"Not yet," she breathed in response.

They slowly made their way back to the others, now gathered around a fire, not speaking but enjoying the silence before parting. Thorin made his way over to Balin and Dwalin while Nuil went to Bilbo and sat down before the flickering flames. Her clothing, still damp, began to dry slowly as the company settled down for the night.

When the next day dawned they were ready to continue on, their food all but gone as they followed Gandalf through the trees. They had hardly been walking for an hour before Dori spoke up, voicing nearly everyone's unspoken question.

"See here Gandalf, where are you taking us?" he asked. They halted, the dwarves looking expectantly at Gandalf as he turned slowly leaning on his staff. Nuil rested her hands on her hips and stared at the wizard, allowing the questions now flowing freely to wash over her as she rested her legs. She was feeling the effects of hunger, even though she had been eating, yet it was not nearly as much as she was used to.

"Aye, now where are goin'?" Dwalin asked.

"Is there food?" Ori asked hopefully, followed by a chorus of hopeful agreement.

"There is one I know that lives in these lands," Gandalf said slowly. "He is very dangerous, but we shall go and find him. For these lands are perilous at night, and he can provide us with food and supplies for the next leg of our journey. We must be cautious however, for he is a man not to be crossed, and he greatly dislikes dwarves."

There was a grumble of discontent at this news, and Nuil tilted her head to the side, thinking of only one man who could live in these lands. The very one who had helped her from Mirkwood all those years ago . . .

"If he dislikes dwarves, you say," Thorin said stepping forward, "what is say that he will help us instead of turning us out?"

Gandalf huffed. "He has a fondness for stories, and a greater hatred for orcs and goblins- something you both have in common. And he would not turn away a lady." His eyes landed on her and Nuil fought to not roll her eyes. Thorin followed his line of sight, his gaze softening on her before he nodded towards the wizard.

"Very well."

"Good. Let us be quick, before nightfall comes upon us."

They continued onward, their shoulders lighter at the knowledge that a good meal awaited them.

Around late afternoon a howl rose up into the air, silencing the company as it echoed through the land. They all knew that sound by now, even Bilbo. All eyes turned towards Thorin, who was watching the trees surrounding them with his hand on the hilt of Orcrist.

"Surely they haven't caught up with us?" Bofur murmured glancing around wildly.

"It sounded far off," Gloin added.

"Perhaps someone should go and see how close they are?" Bilbo suggested.

"Yes, that is exactly what you should do," Nori replied beaming.

"Me?! I- that's not-" Bilbo stuttered panicked.

"You're our burglar, and your quiet," Kili told him encouragingly. "It's perfectly safe-"

"Well, not entirely safe," Fili added.

"Yes, but he's so small that it's unlikely he'll be noticed."

"True."

Bilbo had gone rather pale, and Nuil stepped in. "Enough." She looked at Bilbo. "Perhaps you should just scout ahead, I will check the surrounding lands."

His shoulders relaxed slightly, and he gave her a reluctant nod. Nuil turned to the others, "we'll be off." She grabbed Bilbo by the shoulder and steered him towards the trees, but before they got there a hand wrapped around her arm. Nuil turned sharply, relaxing as she met Thorin's gaze. Nuil let go of Bilbo's shoulder and pushed him forward with a nod.

Worry filled the hobbits eyes, his gaze moving from her to Thorin, before turning to the trees. Thorin spoke once Bilbo disappeared.

"You should stay here, Fili or Kili can go," he murmured lowly.

"Thorin, I'm not going to stay. I told Bilbo I would be out scouting with him," she replied, glancing back at the company.

"And if you are caught?"

"I won't be," she insisted.

"Nuilweyil."

"I'll be careful," she said reaching up to brush her fingers over his cheek. "Nothing bad will happen."

His grip on her arm tightened slightly, his blue eyes searching her own before a small sigh passed through his lips. With a slight nod he brushed his lips gently against her own, before drawing back and releasing her.

"Stay safe."

Nuil nodded before turning towards the trees and hurrying further from the camp. A good ways away she climbed a sturdy looking oak tree, resting on the higher branches she looked over the forested land. In the distance her eyes narrowed as movement caught her eye, a warg with a rider, cresting the top of a rocky hill. It was not near enough to know that the company was a mile or so behind her, but it was still too close for comfort.

Another noise filled the air then, startling the birds from the trees. Nuil flinched searching frantically for the source of the roar. Her eyes landed on the setting sun on the horizon and she knew that the company was running out of time to make it to safety.

Bilbo ran as fast as his legs would carry him, arms flapping wildly as he descended the slope, rocks and twigs hurtling down with him. His heart beat wildly as he pushed himself, breathing heavily. By the Valar, that creature had been massive!

With a shout he alerted the company as he tore out of the trees, coming to a stop while they gathered around him.

"What is it?"

"What happened!?"

Bilbo raised his hand to get them to quiet down, swallowing air greedily as he straightened. "The orc pack is still far off-"

"Thank goodness!" Bofur said grinning.

"What did I tell you?" Gandalf said proudly, "hobbits are excellent-"

"That's not all!" Bilbo cut in impatiently. They fell silent. "There's something out there. Something else."

Gandalf frowned down at Bilbo. "Did it take on the shape of a bear?"

"Ah- yes. Yes it did," Bilbo replied. This time the hobbit frowned, how had the wizard known? A grim look crossed Gandalf's face.

"What? What is it?!" Dwalin demanded. A moment later a long roar filled the air. It sounded close, making their backs stiffen. The dwarves gripped their weapons tightly.

"That, is our host," Gandalf said. "It would be best if we run."

"And what of Aunnie?!" Kili asked worriedly.

"Nuil will no doubt find us, now- RUN!" Gandalf urged them towards the trees, as the woods behind them filled with great snapping sounds, and more howls filled the air.

She sprinted through the trees, leaping over fallen ones, and holding her arms in front of her face to protect it from the bushes and low branches tearing at her hair and skin. The sun had set now, behind the high slopes of the Misty Mountains behind her. And howls rose as the sky darkened. Her legs burned as she stumbled and ran down a steep slope towards a wide open field below her.

Nuil emerged from the trees, flying into the tall grass without stopping. Her eyes spotted several dark shapes moving through the grass as well. They were moving quickly towards a large oak house surrounded by a great gate. She realized with relief that it was the company. She had hoped that Gandalf would lead them here.

Then bursting through the trees lumbered a massive form, a roar leaving it's jaws before it chased after the company. She nearly stumbled from the shock of seeing such a creature. But she knew that she would not make it to the house before the massive bear. Still, she had to try. The last dwarf disappeared behind the gate, followed by the bear and then her.

The bear slammed into the doors of the house, snarling and snapping as the company yelled within. Nuil could only imagine the shock they were having at the sight of the creature, glad that for the moment she was being ignored as she hid behind a pile of firewood.

Once the door shut, the bear continued to slam into it, growling and beating at it. When it finally grew bored it have a howl before falling silent. Nuil stayed as quiet as she could, barely breathing as she listened to the bear shuffle around. She did not know how long she stayed sitting there, but once it fell completely silent she shifted, turning to look over the top of the wood.

The yard was empty, the moon shone overhead illuminating everything. Slowly standing she moved towards the door.

Several feet before the door a low growl froze her. Nuil knew it was the bear. Mahal save her. Slowly she turned, seeing it rise on its hind legs. Heart pounding she took a step back on instinct. The bear growled, surging forward with a roar. Nuil screamed, falling to the ground as its front paws landed where she had stood just seconds before. It advanced on her, and Nuil crawled backwards frantically.

She froze when the bear was upon her, its snout a hairs breadth away from her face. It breathed heavily, puffing hot air into her face. Nuil shut her eyes as the bear opened its jaws. She was foolish, she knew, to even have thought that she could sneak inside. Another puff of hot air hit her face before the bear roared.

Nuil flinched.

But death never came. The sound of heavy feet hitting the ground drew her curiosity and upon opening her eyes she saw the bear running out of the yard and to the trees beyond. Sagging with relief, Nuil looked up at the stars.

Thank Mahal. Thank the Valar.

Alive, but shaken, Nuil turned and crawled towards the doors. Raising her fist she pounded on the wood.

"It's me. Nuil," she called. With one last pound she slumped against the door. Thankful to be alive, and exhausted her eyelids grew heavy. The sound of a heavy bolt sliding and the creak of a door alerted her to her companions. A small sliver of light fell across her legs, before a pair of strong arms lifted her up. She sighed tiredly, letting her head fall back.

Once inside the house, the warm glow of light surrounding her, she listened as they began talking.

"Is the lass alright?"

"Is she hurt?" Nuil knew that was Oin.

"We heard her scream . . ."

" 'm fine," she breathed. "Jus' tired."

"Let her sleep," came a deep voice rumbling from the chest she was pressed against. Thorin. They quieted, and soon she felt herself being lowered into a bed of hay, the brush of lips against her forehead.

Nuil opened her eyes for a brief moment to smile at Thorin, a gesture he did not return, but gazed gently at her.

"Tell Beorn I said hello." She murmured before letting sleep take her.

I'm back! Sort of, kinda . . . apologies for the LONG wait. I'm trying not to drag as much and get more done in each chapter because I am soooooo ready to write later plot line stuff that I just want to get through the slow stuff- hence 'super-long-chapter-with-lots-of-stuff'. Plus I was stumped for where to go one with this chapter.

BTW!- I edited last the last chapter to include more stuff, so if you were confused by the beginning of this one, check out Ch. 40.

Also- DESOLATION OF SMAUG IS ON AMAZON! BOOYAH! My life is so much better now :)

AND! I want to know what you all think of (spoiler alert) Kili and Tauriel's relationship . . . if I manage to write beyond the 2nd movie this year. I'm off to ice my legs because I have a game tomorrow and I hurt. A lot.

Read and Review!

~filimeala