NB: Once again I thank all my followers for your support and reviews. It has encouraged me to think about other stories, but please remember I'm not a writer, just someone playing at it. We're getting nearer and nearer to the end.

Chapter 17

The following day Mary did her very best to blend in with family routine. She helped Hop Sing throughout the day who was pleased with all her efforts. By the end of the day and following evening dinner with the family, she could hardly keep her eyes open and announced she would like to retire. All four Cartwrights stood up as she rose to go upstairs. She smiled and thanked them. Mary would never get used to such courtesy.

She found that sleep eluded her and reached for the book she had borrowed from downstairs, relaxed on her bed, when a knock came on her door.

"May I come in?" Ben asked.

"Of course, please come in. I couldn't sleep, so was just trying a little reading to see if it would help."

Ben came into the room and asked, "May I sit and talk to you? I saw the light under the door, so assumed you were not sleeping."

"Yes, of course. I know what you are thinking and I'll try to put you at your ease."

Ben sat in the bedside chair. "Adam tells me that he is in love with you and you with him and that he wants to marry you. Is that correct?"

"Yes, Mr Cartwright, it is, but don't worry, it won't happen. I would never wish to embarrass you or your family, by remaining here. Oh I know Adam thinks it will be so, but I have a plan, if you will hear me out, which should put your mind completely at rest."

"I see, and what do you have in mind."

"Well, we need a little conspiracy to make this work. Would you help me with that?" Mary asked.

"I'm not sure about this, I like things out in the open."

"You would like me to leave, I know, and that is my wish also. I need a ruse to help me on my way.

But I need your help to carry it out, as without it, Adam would never let me leave."

"I thought you loved Adam."

"I do, that is why I must leave. Now, will you help me or no?"

"Tell me your plan and I make my decision then." Ben said, uneasily.

"Alright. I simply need you to send Adam on a two to three day journey to carry out some business deal or other. This will give me time to be away and disappear for ever. This time I will make sure he will not be able to find me."

"But I fear Adam will not rest until he has searched and found you again."

"Then you must persuade him that it will be useless to try. Tell him that I don't love him and that he must forget me."

"Then, my dear," Ben said quietly, "I truly believe that you love Adam."

"Yes, I do. And I'm still ashamed. You see I haven't told Adam quite everything and I also have lied to him. Something which I know he will get angry about. He made me a promise if I ever lied to him again."

"And I can imagine what that promise is." Ben said, with a grin.

Adam had just come to the edge of the door frame and heard that last sentence uttered by Mary, and he felt his blood boil. It's the flowers, he thought. He walked into the room and faced Mary and his father, asking him if he could leave them alone in private.

"Of course, son." Ben said and quietly left the room, closing the door, thinking about all that Mary had said. He would have a lot to think over. He wanted to do what was right.

"It's the flowers isn't it? Please tell me the truth about the flowers." He asked again, quietly, knowing this must be a very hard part to convey. "About the strewing of the flowers."

"Oh Adam, I'm so sorry, but I just can't tell you." Mary sighed and tears began to well up in her eyes.

"You've no choice. We made a pact and you must stick to it. Now tell me the truth about the flowers."

Mary inhaled and held her silence while she fortified her strength to build up the courage she needed to tell him. Then she spoke very slowly. "During those awful years I conceived three babies, but I don't know what I had. Whether boys or girls." The tears began and Adam sat down behind her on the bed, took hold of her and held her against his body. She couldn't fight him any longer.

"Try to go on Mary, sweetheart. I know this is very hard for you."

Clasping his hands that held her, trying desperately to gain courage from his strength, she went on. "He was there when I gave birth. Each of them cried heartily, but he carried them away, out through the door, and once outside the door, the crying stopped." Mary stopped, building up her courage. "I believe he killed them. What can you do with tiny bodies except bury them. I always assumed he buried them in the garden."

Mary tried to wipe her tears away which just didn't stop. Adam reached for his handkerchief and wiped them away but each time more appeared. He held her closer, if that were possible.

"I gave each of them two names, a boy's name and a girl's name. Aaron/Rachel, David/Ruth and Peter/Mary. Whenever my father went into the city on business I knew he would be gone for at least three hours and I used that time to go into the garden and dehead flowers, plucking the petals off and placing them in a basket. Then I would walk around the garden and scatter the petals everywhere, hoping that they would land amongst the little graves, wherever they were. It was my fantasy that they would learn I did this out of love for them, even though I never knew them. And now whenever I find myself in a lovely, peaceful spot totally alone with wild flowers around me to pick, I continue the ritual so that they will know I'll never forget them. That's what I was doing when you first saw me, although I was completely unaware that you were there."

"That is a wonderful thing to do Mary. Thank you for telling me. I know how difficult it was for you." Adam voiced quietly."

"I'm so sorry for lying to you before, but at that time I just couldn't tell you."

"I understand." Adam said, hugging her close to him. "Now I want you to rest and go to sleep, tomorrow will be a new day."

"Thank you Adam for being so understanding. I will try to sleep now."

"Good. So for now, goodnight, my love. I'll see you in the morning.

"Goodnight Adam." Adam settled Mary down in the bed and pulled the sheet and blanket up over her, kissed her gently on the lips and left.