A/N- Thanks to ThatGirlUnderTheBox, hello this is me speaking and Random Person (guest) for guessing correctly! *gives cupcake and half-cupcakes, respectively*

When Umbridge came to, her headache was strong enough to be noticed, but able to be swallowed away after a few big gulps. She snatched her wand off the ground and dragged herself of the road to the grass on the side, slightly ripping her cardigan in the process. After resting for a few minutes, she stood up and headed down the road, away from China's house.

After walking for a while, she came to a place where the Asian decoration simply stopped. In front of her was a huge grassland. Against anyone's better judgement, Umbridge decided to continue. Her headache could have seriously damaged her Apparating, so she walked.

After 100 meters or so, Umbridge began to grow tired. She forced herself to push on. My, it was getting cold. She wished she had worn a coat on top of her cardigan. Umbridge shivered.

Bending down, she plucked a stalk of grass in hopes of eating something. She put it in her mouth and immediately spit it out. How could grass grow if it was so DRY, she wondered.

Suddenly, a pond up ahead caught Umbridge's attention. Water! she thought. She headed towards it, when it disappeared.

Dang. Was this a desert or something?

Umbridge kept wandering. As she walked, she thought about these "countries" and became even more confused. Why do they keep calling themselves nations? Is it a Muggle trend? How dare this "China" destroy a house of England! I will certainly tell the Minister to send a group to exterminate this filth.

For Umbridge had not realized the fact that she was not in the United Kingdom. But that didn't really matter to her, as she was one of those people who thought that Scotland was part of England.

3 hours later, it suddenly started snowing. Umbridge, thirsting for anything to drink, began catching snowflakes with her tongue. They did little to help. Her footsteps were now very slow, pausing after each one to take a deep breath.

A huge house appeared over the horizon. Hoping that it wasn't a mirage, Umbridge headed in that direction. She got close, and when it didn't dissapear, concluded that it was not a mirage.

Umbridge heaved herself up the wooden steps, coming to a stop in front of the door. She knocked weakly. The door opened to reveal a very tall man wearing a scarf.

"Excuse me," she simpered. "Do you know the directions to London?"

"London? You want to visit England, da?" the man said.

"But we are in England. Tell me the directions to London!" Umbridge ordered. What was this man talking about, "visiting England"?

"It is 2508 kilometers west of here, if that is what you mean," the man said. "I am Russia. You will come in for some vodka, da?" He smiled. Umbridge however, being as oblivious as she is, was not creeped out. "Of course," she said, "But do you have any water?" She had long given up on tea.

"Vodka is Russian water. You will drink some, da?" The man backed away from the entrance. Umbridge took this as an invitation to come in. She stepped inside and was led to what she assumed was a kitchen. A few sunflowers in pots lined the window.

Umbridge was given a big glass of vodka. She drank the whole thing in a few gulps, thinking it was water. It burned her throat. She dizzily waddled to put it in the sink.

Meanwhile, Russia had a faraway look on his face. He began speaking in broken thoughts: "It's so nice to have someone in my house again... So empty... Since 1991... The Soviet Union was fun..." Then he turned to Umbridge. "Sweep the floor."

"W-what?" Umbridge stuttered. Why was this man giving her orders? Surely she was a guest, not a servant.

"I said, you will sweep the floor now, da? The Soviet Union was very fun. I want to have a little taste of that now." Umbridge did have a faint idea what the Soviet Union was. It was a country, wasn't it? "No!" she said indignantly. "I am not some petty servant! I am the undersecretary of the Minister and the High Inquisitor of-"

She was cut off by Russia pulling out a pipe from inside his coat. "Sweep the floor, or I will use the magic stick!" Magic stick? Umbridge wondered. Russia waved the pipe around threateningly. Umbridge hurriedly grabbed a broom in the corner and started sweeping. However, she had never swept a floor without magic, so she ended up brushing the dirt all over the place.

"You're doing it wrong," Russia said, not bothering to tell her the "correct" way. "Do it faster, too! My little Baltics were much better."

Umbridge lost her temper. She hurled the broom onto the ground, pulled out her wand and shouted "Scourgify!" at the floor. All the dust and dirt immediately disappeared, leaving a shining clean floor.

Russia clapped in joy. "Now that is a real magic stick!" he exclaimed. "Now you can wash the dishes too!" Umbridge, furious at 1) taking orders and 2) this Muggle's apparent delight at her magic, threw her wand on the table and turned on the tap instead of casting a spell.

"I am going to take a shower," Russia said. "When I come back, I expect the dishes to be washed and put away." He walked up the stairs, leaving Umbridge alone in the kitchen.

She thought for a few seconds, then turned the tap off. Drying her hands on the cardigan, she took her wand off the table, walked to the front door and opened it. Freedom! she thought. She drunkenly stepped onto the porch and closed the door behind her. Umbridge waddled down the steps, almost falling off one, and walked in another direction.

A/N- Don't worry. Russia'll get her eventually... Just so you know, this story takes place in Harry's 5th year. That means it is 1995, and the USSR had collapsed 4 years earlier (when Harry started Hogwarts). First person who can guess what the grasslands were gets two virtual donuts, and first person to guess the next country gets a lollipop! (Hint: There are 3.) Please review!