Chapter 18

Sara woke herself up having cold sweats and shaking. She couldn't stop having the same reoccurring dream of getting lost and seeing nothing but strangers faces. She knew that she couldn't let Darry know that she was up but she needed a drink of water to help her relieve the cotton ball feeling in her throat. Sara slipped silently out of her bed and tip-toed across her floor feeling the sting of the cold floorboards against the bottom of her bare feet. She was relieved to see that the boys hadn't latched her door shut so she didn't need to worry about the squeaky door. Sara slide through the narrow opening of the door and into the hall. As she quietly ventured down the hall she could hear light snoring coming from the boy's room. Their door was still open some and she stopped and took a look inside. There in the light from the moon she could see that Ponyboy was snuggled up close to Sodapop. Soda had this arm protective around Pony. Sara secretively wished that Soda was holding her like that. She let out a little soft sigh and moved away from the boy's room and into the kitchen. Sara was hoping that there would still be cups in the strainer of the sink from dinner, and to no such luck someone had put them all away. She now needed to get a chair and pull it over to the counter so she could reach the cupboard with the cups in them. As quietly as possible she carried the chair over and climbed up and as she was grabbing for a glass the voice from behind her almost made her drop the glass and shatter it all over the counter.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Sara's heart started beating so fast, as she turned around she knew that her cover had been blown. "Umm, trying to get a cup down so I can get a drink, what are you doing?" "

"I was trying to get some sleep, before some little mouse came out here making all this damn noise."

"I wasn't making that much noise. Besides, this is my house. I can make as much noise as I want to." Sara decided to climb back down from the chair and put it back to the table. To her surprise, Dally took the chair from her and slide it back into place. He also took the glass from her and opened the refrigerator up and poured her a small cup of orange juice. "Here, drink this and get on back to bed. " Sara accepted the glass from Dally and took a big gulp. She handed Dally back the unfinished amount that he willingly took from her and finished it off. As she turned to leave she retraced her steps so that she was now standing toe to toe with Dallas Winston.

"Dally, can I come sit with you on the couch for a few minutes?" Dally just raised an eye brow at her. "Please, Dally? I won't say a word. Just let me sit there with you until I feel tired?"

"And what do you think Superman would say about this?" Dally bent down so they were now face to face. But Sara just shrugged her shoulders. "I know what has been happening with you this week. I know that you haven't been sleeping. What has gotten into you?"

"Nothing, Dal. I just can't sleep that's all."

"I'm not buying it, Kid. Something got you rattled."

"Nothing's got me rattled." Sara snapped a little sharply.

"You might think you have your brothers fooled, but I know better. Come here." Dally pulled Sara's arm to follow him back into the living room away from her brother's rooms. Sara willing followed behind. Dally sat back down on the couch and pulled Sara between his legs. "Out with it Kid." Sara ducked her head down and contemplated on what to say. She knew that Dally wasn't going to let this go.

"I've got it under control, Dal."

"Yeah right, it seems like it. You're not eating, you're not sleeping. You're afraid of ya own shadow. You barely talk to anyone."

"I'm not either! And I'm talking to you ain't I? Just leave me alone. I've got this." With that Sara struggled out of Dallas' legs and head straight back to her room where she threw herself on her bed. "What's wrong with me?" She whispered into the night. As Sara sat there and tossed and turned she knew that she needed to get some sleep or else tomorrow was going to be hell. She must have tried getting back to sleep for what seem to be an hour or two, when finally she got back up. She quietly crept down the hall and to the door of Soda's and Pony's room. There the two boys were fast asleep. She noticed that there wasn't very much room but she slowly crawled up onto the end of the bed where there was enough room for her to squeeze in without waking either of them up. She laid there silently listening to the breathing of her two older brothers. The rhythm of their breathing helped to sooth her to sleep faster than she had expected.

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Darry was excited that it was actually Sara's birthday today. He rushed around the house to get ready that morning. He wanted to get everything just right for her special birthday breakfast of blueberry pancakes. As he was getting the batter ready and pouring some on the griddle he raced to Sara's room and threw open her door, "Happy Birthday!" But once he looked over to Sara's bed he found it empty. "Sara?" He asked. When he entered he looked around the room and walked over to the covers and lifted them up, and found nothing. "Sara?" He yelled a little louder just in case she was somewhere else in the house. When there was no answer he ventured back out into the hall. On his way through the house he checked all the rooms on his way to the kitchen. His room was empty, the bathroom was empty, and then he stopped at the boy's room and there she was. Little Sara was curled up in the smallest, and what looked like the most uncomfortable position possible. She had stolen the top blanket off of the two boys and had it wrapped around her, using Sodapop's leg as her pillow. Darry had to admit it was a cute sight. He couldn't resist himself and he hollered into the room. "Happy Birthday." His loud, thunderous voice jumped all three in the room awake.

"What the hell, Dar? You have the wrong room." But just as Sodapop yelled back at Darry he moved his foot and realized that something a little heavy was down on his leg. Soda sat up and looked down at what was causing the weight at the end of the bed. A small smile crept to his face when he noticed his baby sister coming to. Darry walked further into the room and kneeled down so that he was face to face with Sara.

"Happy Birthday, Saragirl." There it was again, he had just used their father's nickname for the little girl. Sara rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and looked up into Darry's pale ice eyes.

"Hey, Darry." Sara said in a sleepy voice.

Darry leaned over and placed his hand on her head and kissed it. "Did you get lost last night and forget what room was yours?" He asked with a chuckle. Sara was a little embarrassed that she had been caught sleeping at the end of Soda's and Pony's bed. She didn't know what to say so she just put a half smile on her face and shrugged her shoulders. "What are we going to do with you?" It was then that Darry flew in and grabbed the little girl and started a tickle war with her. Soon she was out numbered because Sodapop had also joined into the war. "Get her neck, Soda. I've got her knees." All the giggling and laughing and yelling had finally aroused Pony up and he too came down and started to join in.

"Stop!" Sara yelled, but none of the three Curtis boys were paying any attention to her plies. "Stop you guys!" The boys were being just unmerciful on Sara, but it wasn't until she let out the final warning that the boys knew they needed to stop. "Stop you guys, I'm gonna pee my pants!" and with that Sara was struggling to get loose so that she go use the bathroom. All three boys release their grip from Sara and helped her up so that they could get her to the bathroom before there was any accident.

"Happy Birthday, Kiddo." Sodapop said as he was ruffled her hair and getting up himself.

"Thanks, Soda."

"Yeah, happy birthday Sara." Pony added while shifting through dirty clothes that were on the floor of the boys room.

Sara walked out the door and noticed that Dallas was sitting at their kitchen table helping himself to blueberry pancakes. "Mmmm, those smell real good."

"Just for you." Darry said squeezing Sara's shoulders as he went over to the griddle. "I see you are just helping yourself to breakfast, huh Dal?"

"Well they were ready, and you guys were obviously playing children's games in there, so someone needed to eat them before they went to waste getting cold and all."

"Yeah, just getting cold while sitting on the griddle?" Darry harassed Dally as he poured more batter onto the griddle to feed his siblings that would be soon joining him. Sara was the first to arrive to the table.

"Thanks for cooking pancakes, Dar." Sara slide into her seat.

"Not so fast Sara. I want you dressed before eating." Darry spoke shaking a spatula at Sara that he was using to flip the pancakes with. "There's a pair of capris and a pink shirt on your dresser."

"Ah, can't I eat first, Dar?" Sara whined.

"Go!" He pointed the spatula towards the hall.

"I'm going." Sara said pouting as she left the table to go get dressed. Dallas watched her sulk down the hall and when she entered her bedroom he turned towards Darry.

"Jesus Darry, if the kid wants to eat, then you should let her eat. It's not like she's been doing a lot of it lately."

"What's that supposed to mean? I feed her three meals a day. She doesn't go without." Darry's voice was rising in defense.

"Come on Man? You've got to be blind. Can't you see that something has gotten Sara rattled as hell. She's not eating, she like a damn puppy dog all of a sudden following everyone around and being our shadows, and not to mention the sleep. Do you know that she was up half the night last night?"

"It's probably just because she was anxious about her birthday." Darry tried to come up with an excuse.

"Bullshit!" Dallas shouted while slamming his fist down on the table. "Stop being so god damn naïve, Man! I've never know Darrel Shayne Curtis to be afraid of anything, so why all of a sudden are you afraid to noticed that there's something wrong with your sister. Jesus Christ, Man. We can all see it, we've just been wondering how long before you'll do something about it. You can't just continue to make excuses and keep covering it up. Why are you ignoring it, Man?" Darry was about ready to blow his top. He threw his spatula down and sprinted across the kitchen and grabbed Dallas by the shirt and threw him up against their refrigerator. Of course the yelling and the thumbing of bodies against furniture caught the attention of all three younger Curtis members. Pony and Soda had come out of their room and were looking on from their door while Sara had now left her stance at her door and was hugging Sodapop's leg.

"How dare you accuse me of ignoring what's going on with her? You think I don't fucking see that there is something wrong with her? I've noticed and I'm trying, but there are things that I CAN'T do right now. I have a situation on my hands that I just can't go and call the fucking doctor up and get her looked at." Sodapop could tell by the tone of Darry's voice and the death grip that he had on Dally's jean jacket that he needed to intervene before this got any further out of hand and that Darry might say or do something that could completely ruin Sara's birthday. He quickly moved Sara from his leg over towards Ponyboy and rushed into the kitchen and started trying to pull Darry off of Dally.

"Come on, Dar. Not today, not now. It's not worth it, Man." Darry gave Sodapop a hard cold look. But didn't let go of Dallas and continued to grit his teeth and hold an icy stare at him "Come on, Darry. Do it for Sara." The minute Sodapop mentioned Sara's name he turned to look over towards the hall where a horrified look was displayed on her face.

"Ahhhh, shit." Darry mumbled only loud enough for Sodapop and Dally to hear. Darry slowly released his grip from Dallas and continued to look into his eyes. Dallas shook his shoulders to help straighten out his coat from where Darry had just crumpled it. The two sat there for a minute in a Mexican standoff.

"You're better than this, Man." Dally said after a minute of silence between the two.

"Yeah, well, anytime you think you can do it better Dally, than you're more than welcoming to trade places with me and do it!" Darry had backed away so that Dally pushed towards the living room.

"If you don't get your fingers out of your ass and do something about it Darrel than I just might." Dallas said as moved his way to the front door knowing that he could say that for he was close enough to the exit just in case Darry tried to come after him again.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" Darry hissed back at Dallas.

Dally paused as he was pushing open the door and noticed that Sara had moved around from hiding behind Sodapop and was now looking at him with her pale face, and sunken in eyes. But it was something about her eyes that were pleading with Dally. Dally wasn't sure if it was her way of asking for his help, or her way of asking him to stop, but whatever it was it was enough for him to respond back to Darry with a hint of a challenge. "It's a fucking promise, Darrel!" Darry started to thrust himself towards Dallas when Soda grabbed his arms to try to hold him back.

"Darry! Not today!" Soda had to holler to get Darry to stop. The door slammed shut and there was complete silence in the room for what seemed for eternity, when Sara's voice broke the silence.

"Something's burning." The four Curtis members turned to see where the horrible smell was coming from.

"Oh, shit, the pancakes. " Darry rushed over to the griddle, he was so flustered with what just happened with Dallas that he wasn't thinking straight and he went to grab the hot handle of the griddle. "Shit!" Darry tossed the griddle and burnt pancakes into the sink and started to run cold water on his hand that instantly formed a blister from the burn that he had just received from the griddle. Soda rushed over to help. "Soda, I'm fine. Just go get me the burn cream and some bandaids." Soda moved away from Darry and rushed into the bathroom to retrieved the items requested by Darry. Ponyboy and Sara were left just starring wide eyed at Darry. Darry turned the water off and when he turned the look on Sara's face almost was like a knife through his heart. "Oh, Sara. I'm sorry about the pancakes. I promise I'll make it up to up." Sara was a little disappointed that she wouldn't be getting blueberry pancakes after all, but knew that Darry kept to his word and would find a way to make it up to her. She shuffled over to Darry standing by the sink and stopped in front of him and flung her arms around his waist.

"It's ok. Dar." Darry willingly returned Sara's hug and looked down at her and was about to say something when Soda rushed in with the burn cream and bandages.

"Guys finish getting ready. Grab some fruit for breakfast. We need to get outta here."

"Sure thing, Dar." Soda ushered Sara towards the bathroom to finish getting ready, but Pony just stood there watching Darry doctor himself up.

After a few minutes of Pony standing there just watching Darry he finally spoke. "What was that all about?" Pony asked with curiosity.

"What do mean?" Darry questioned back.

"You and Dal? What started it?"

Darry didn't want to get into with Pony about what happened between him and Dal. It would bring up to much information that Pony just didn't need to hear. "Just a misunderstanding that's all. Go finish getting ready."

"Hey, where's the birthday girl at?" Two-Bit yelled through the house as him and Steve came barreling through the front door.

"Getting ready." Darry pointed towards the bathroom. Two-Bit pushed through Darry and Pony and headed straight towards the bathroom.

"What's the smell?" Steve asked sticking his nose up in the air. "Please tell me it ain't breakfast?" He asked while heading towards the sink to see the burnt blueberry pancakes. He turned towards Darry and noticed the bandage on his hand. "What happen to your hand? Breakfast get the best of you Superman?" Darry turned and landed a hard punch in Steve's arm.

"Ouch. What's got in to you this morning? I was just kidding." Steve said lifting his t-shirt up to see the instant red mark.

Soda came around the corner and whispered, "Not now, Steve. Leave it alone. I'll tell ya later." Steve just nodded in agreement and picked up an apple from the counter and took a bite, more so to shut himself up from saying anymore.

"Happy Birthday to you…. Happy Birthday to you… you look like a monkey and you act like one too." Two-Bit was singing off key to Sara as the two walked into the kitchen to meet up with the rest of the group.

"You're the monkey, Two-Bit." Sara said giggling. Darry watched the two nuts interact with each other and was relieved a little to see that Sara was smiling and laughing.

"Come on you goobers. We're gonna be late if we don't get a move on."

"Hey Dar, remember I'm heading to the library after school today. Soda might need to get Sara off the bus."

Darry grabbed Pony's shirt on his way by. "You told me last night that you would be back in time to get her."

"Just in case I'm not… "

"No,not just in case. You best be there, Ponyboy." Darry warned, knowing that Mrs. Roberts might be out and about gathering information. "Two-Bit, he needs to be at the station to get Sara. No side tracking."

"Yes, Sir." Two-Bit said saluting Darry.

"I'm not kidding. Have him there at 3:20 sharp." Darry warned again.

"Stop worrying Darry. I'll have him there." Two-Bit, Steve and Pony all headed towards the door when Darry heard Two-Bit say to Pony, "Man, Darry's sure getting strict these days."

"You're telling me." Pony grumbled back.

"Hey Steve, you coming or not?" Two-Bit yelled through the screen door at Steve who was still hanging out in the living room.

"Yeah, one minute." Steve looked over to Sara who was sitting on the couch putting her saddle shoes on. She was trying to slip the shoe on for she hasn't yet mastered the art of tying shoes. Steve watched as she struggled some before approaching her. He looked around to see if Darry or Sodapop would come to her aid. When he didn't see them or hear them he moved closer to Sara and bent down onto his knee. "You know if you took this knot out you would have better luck getting it on." Sara just looked down at the shoe. Before Sara could react or have a comeback to Steve, Steve was already taking the knot off and undoing the laces for Sara to stick her foot in. Sara cautiously stuck her foot in and within seconds Steve had it tied up for her. "Sara, are these to small for you?" Steve asked noticing how tight they were. He reached down to feel were her toe was. Sara was afraid to admit that she had been wearing them like these for months, that's why she preferred her sneakers, but she couldn't find them this morning. "Sara, these are to small aren't they?" Sara was afraid to speak so she just shook her head up and down. "Jesus, Sara." Steve spouted. As he stood up he looked down at her and asked, "Have you told Darry or Sodapop yet?" Sara wasn't sure what he was referring too, was it their conversation yesterday or the shoes.

"I haven't told them about the shoes. We can't afford it right now, Steve." Steve grumbled when Sara referenced the shoes.

"Not about the shoes Sara! About the other thing." He said a little louder than he meant to.

"No." Sara said getting up and walking towards the kitchen to grab her lunch.

"You've got one more day there little girl then I'm spilling the beans to Sodapop. You got it?" Steve stopped when he heard Darry and Sodapop coming down the hall.

"Hey Steve, let's go. I don't really feel like doing another detention this week." Two-Bit hollered back into the house.

"Coming!" Steve yelled back at Two-Bit. But before he started to head out he sent a threating glance back at Sara. The two clearly knew what it meant.

"What's up with you two?" Soda asked noticing the glance between the two.

"Nothing Man, just wishing her a Happy Birthday that's all. Have a good day, Kid." And with that Steve rushed out the door towards Two-Bit and Ponyboy.

"Alright you two, you ready to go?" Darry asked grabbing his keys and his lunch off the table.

"Yup." Soda and Sara answered in unison.

Darry drove Sodapop to the DX and Soda said his goodbyes and wished Sara a Happy Birthday and a good day and was off to start his day. Darry drove Sara to Kathy's. As they approached Darry parked the truck and turned the engine off and sat there for a second without rushing to get Sara to the door.

"Darry?" Sara asked with a confused expression on her face.

"Sara, I'm real sorry about this morning. I know that isn't any way to start your birthday off. "Darry had reached over and was touching Sara's arm.

"It's ok, Darry. Really it is."

"I just wanted to make it special… like Mom and Dad would of." Darry had to stop talking for her could feel the lump in his throat starting to rise to think of his parents and past birthdays. Sara could sense that Darry was beating himself up and she scooted over across the seat so that she was sitting right next to him. She effortlessly leaned into him and placed her head on his chest.

"I love you, Darry." Darry was already feeling emotion welling up in him, but at that exact moment of hearing Sara's little voice say those three words almost let the water gates open up. He reached his arm around her and gave her shoulder a rub and quickly wiped away a stray tear from his eye.

"Right back at you kiddo." Darry knew that he couldn't possible say those three words back to her without completely losing all control of his emotions. He had just realized that what Dallas had said to him that morning really did hit home. He needed to do something, but that something could just possible jeopardize his family and he would never be able to deal with it.