Chapter 12

The days ran together for Sam as he began his research on how to get home. Nathan had given him access to a large library with all kinds of unusual books and tomes. Sam had never seen some of the writing he found among the stacks of books.

Nathan helped him find books on ley lines and thinning that he could read for his research. Some text he wasn't sure of, so he had Nathan decipher it for him. Sam was beginning to get discouraged that he hadn't found any useable information to help him return home.

"Hey, you ready for a break?" Esmee asked Sam from the doorway of the library.

"More than ready." he smiled marking the page with a slip of paper before getting up. "What have you been doing today?"

"Exploring, reading, walking, just the usual." she counted off.

"Sounds like you've been busy. So what are we going to do?"

"How 'bout a picnic by the lake?" she asked pulling him toward the door.

Sam eyed a basket and blanket waiting by the door and picked them up as she urged him on. They walked down the gravel driveway and across the meadow toward the lake.

"Have you found anything to help you yet?"

"No." he sighed trying not to let his frustrations show. He didn't want to spoil the afternoon, well he guessed it was afternoon. Since there was no true night and day in this place, it was hard to tell exactly what time of day it was.

Sam spread the blanket out on a grassy spot near the water's edge before sitting the basket on it. Esmee kneeled beside it and began to remove food sitting it where they could reach it. Sam had stretched his tall frame out and was propped up on an elbow watching her closely.

She had brought cheese, crackers, sliced apples and grapes, sandwiches that had been sliced into quarters, couple of cups of potato salad and lemonade to drink. He picked up a slice of apple and popped it in his mouth chewing thoughtfully. This was not where he should be, but it felt so right. He laid back on the blanket, lacing his fingers together behind his head and looked up at the misty sky.

"Penny for your thoughts." Esmee whispered laying on her stomach facing him. She held out a bite of sandwich to Sam's mouth so he could eat it.

Sam accepted the bite, chewing and swallowing it before responding. "I wish this was real."

"It is real..." she started.

"No it's not, I'm not suppose to be here, you, you're a soul waiting to move on to a better place." he said looking her in the eyes.

"I know, but even here I can still dream. I like you Sam, you've made this place bearable for me. I wish this moment could last forever." she whispered taking his hand.

"I know." he told her kissing her hand. "Let's enjoy this moment, that's all we can do."

"You're right." she smiled sadly picking up a piece of cheese and nibbling it.

Sam closed his eyes as he slipped a grape into his mouth enjoying the sweet, tangy taste. His entire body tensed when a feeling of absolute terror washed over him. He knew this was not his feelings, but those of either Dean or Oree. Concentrating on the emotion, he saw Oree doubled in pain and Castiel holding her. A soft moan escaped his lips and he tried to keep hold of the scene.

"Sam, Sam what's wrong?" Esmee asked seeing the emotions crossing his face and his body stiffen beside her. "Talk to me." she begged.

Sam suddenly went limp and panted hard as he tried to sit up. Something was going on in his world and it had to do with his family. He needed to get back there and soon.

"Sam." Emsee tried again.

"We need to get back, I need to talk to Nathan." Sam said quickly trying to gather the food and stuff it in the basket randomly.

"It's okay Sam." Esmee acknowledged helping him gather the things. She ran to keep up with his long stride as they headed toward the hotel. Esmee left Sam in the foyer ringing for Nathan while she headed for her room.

"Yes Sam?" Nathan asked coming out of an office behind the desk.

"Nathan, I need to get home, there's got to be something I can do to speed this up. Is there someone else I can talk to or somewhere else I can look?"

"Calm down, what has happened?"

"I saw my sister and brother in a vision, they were in trouble, I need to help them." he begged. "There's got to be something..." Sam trailed off pacing in front of the desk.

"I know your frustration Sam, but I am trying to help."

"Is there anyway I can get a message to Dean or Oree?"

"No, you were lucky Tyler was going back, it doesn't happen often. Now if you will excuse me, I need to let Esmee know its time."

Sam seemed to shrink in on himself when he heard Esmee was finally crossing over. He was happy and sad at the same time. He was going to miss her more than he wanted to admit. She made being stuck in this place easier to deal with.

spn

Sam waited at the bottom of the stairs for Esmee to come down so he could say good-bye. He looked up when footsteps sounded, seeing her make her way down. She looked at him and smiled sadly as a tear trickled down her face. She brushed it away quickly trying to put on a happy face for him.

"You heard."

"Yeah, this is great, I hope family's waiting for you."

"I hope you find your way home."

"It may be a long journey, but I don't discourage easily, I'll get there." Sam told her squeezing her hand.

"I believe you will, you take care." she said standing on her tip toes to kiss his cheek. Esmee went over to a waiting Nathan so she could finish her own journey home.

spn

Sam walked behind the bar and picked out a whiskey to pour himself a stiff shot. He looked at the amber liquid wondering if he could even get drunk here before tossing the glass back, downing it in one gulp. At least he could still feel the liquid burn all the way to his stomach. He felt the heat radiate through his body as he poured another one.

Sam nursed the second glass, swishing it around in the glass, he looked out over the garden as he sat drowning in his own self pity. He had to get it together. He was a smart guy, there wasn't much he couldn't figure out. He had to step back and take a fresh look at everything. There had to be something he was missing that would help, he just had to figure out what it was. Sam slumped back in his chair and took a small sip of the liquid. He didn't know if it was time for bed or not, but he wasn't in the mood to socialize so he finished the drink and got up heading for the stairs and his room.

He closed the door to his room and face planted on the bed. Sam took a couple deep breaths and let his eyes drift closed as he let the days emotions drain from him. He lay still trying to blank his mind of all thoughts so he could rest. Sam drifted to sleep with thoughts of Oree floating around the edges of his mind. He wanted to feel that connection they had once again. Sam realized he was an idiot and shouldn't have stayed away from Oree just because Dean and him split up. He knew she wouldn't have judged and she would listen to him, if he wanted to talk.

He didn't know how but Oree always seem to be able to keep him grounded when he would get lost. She gave him strength and courage, understanding and empathy, unconditional love only a sister could give. If he got out of this place, he was going to make things right.