Chapter 29
Darry had driven up to Wilson's field where he knew was one of Sara's favorite places. As he came to a stop he remembered stopping here a few weeks ago, on Mother's Day when he brought Sara to see their parent's grave. He stopped the truck and got out. Tim said this was where he saw Sara last. Darry walked around the truck and was leaning against the passenger's side door looking out into the field. As he looked out he noticed how the rays of the sun were glistening off of the grass blades and the wild flowers that were dancing in the breeze. He could understand and appreciate how Sara enjoyed this place. It was very tranquil and peaceful here, just what he needed after what he had been through these past few weeks. He was wondering if what he was feeling right now was how Ponyboy feels when he sees sunsets, and sunrises. Just maybe, he could relate to that kid after all. As he sat there thinking about a million different things, he felt his body start to tremble. He was suddenly overcome with emotions. But he figured that if it was going to happen this was a better place than any. For the odds of someone seeing him cry was slim to none out here. As his eyes filled with water and clouded over he let his head drop and was staring down at the dirt and the ditch ahead of him. When his eyes cleared a bit of tears, there at his feet were some withered up flowers, Brown eyes Susan's and Carolina Anemone. If Darry remembered correctly these were the same flowers that Sara had picked last time they went to visit their parent's grave. Darry bent down and picked up the flowers, as things ran through his mind, he had an epiphany. The flowers, Tim seeing her in front of Wilson's field, Sara heading east on 11, that only meant one thing. Of course Darry thought. Of course she would go there. Especially with what happened last night between him and her, and then her and Pony getting into it this morning over Mom and Dad's rules about the bike, and what was on the flier, of course Darry though. He slapped his hand up to his forehead, of course. It was all making sense now, he just wished that he would of thought of it right away when Tim said he saw her in front of Wilson's field heading east on 11. Other than farms there was only one thing out in this direction that would draw her towards here. Darry tossed the withered flowers down on the ground and stepped to the edge of the field and picked new, fresh ones and ran back into the truck. This time he turned his flashes off and sped off towards his destination. Darry drove just as crazy as he had seen Soda do earlier that afternoon, but Darry didn't care, he was just hoping that his sister was indeed at the cemetery, she just had to be he thought. Darry drove into the cemetery and went straight for the spot of his parent's gravesite. The place was completely deserted; it kind of had an eerie feel to it, for it was that quiet and empty. He pulled up as close as he could, staying on the main dirt roads throughout the cemetery. He parked the truck, grabbed the flowers he had picked and jumped out of the cab. His pace was just as fast as his heart was beating. "Please, please, if you just do one thing for me, let it be this." Darry said into the breeze, and as he rounded the old oak tree that was just two rows over from where his parents' gravesite was he caught his breath. For Sara was lying in a small ball, clutching Mr. Bear with her left hand, and her right hand lying on the base of their parent's granite headstone. Her back was turned to Darry, but he would know that little girl's form from anywhere. She almost looked like an angel with the way the sunbeams were filter through the branches of the old oak and bouncing off of her auburn hair and illuminating a glow around her. Darry literally had to take a deep breath, and then exhale it with relief, for he wasn't sure what he would have done if she wasn't here. He had to check his emotions at the door for he was overjoyed that she was there and he had found her, but he couldn't forget about everything that had led up to this moment. He knew that he needed to be cautious in how he approached her. He had to do his best to control his anger and make sure that they at least made it home, before he unleashed his frustration and anger on her. He took each step towards her very carefully, for he didn't want to startle her, nor scare her, for he could only imagine what state of mind she might be in. As he came upon Sara he noticed that she was actually sleeping. Huh, he thought? Is this all it took to get that kid to sleep? He couldn't help but smile at her. He bent down on one knee and placed his hand on her warm leg, giving it a little shake. When she didn't move, he shook it again. That seemed to have done it for she bolted right up. When Sara opened her eyes and captured Darry kneeling down in front of her, her heart about leaped out of her chest.
"No! No! Tim got to you!" Sara bounced up off the ground and started to dart away from Darry, but Darry was quick and bounded right after her. Sara didn't get very far; maybe thirty, forty feet before Darry had swooped in with his right arm and caught her around her waist. He picked her up and tucked her under his arm like she was a football.
"Oh, no you don't" Darry hushed Sara, but Sara paid no mind to Darry's warning and started struggling to get loose from his firm grip. Darry had moved on back to where Sara's bike and book bag was. He stopped and turned his head towards her. "Now if I put you down young lady, you need to promise me that you're not gonna run again. If you can't promise me that, then I'm carrying you back to that truck and I'll tie you down. And don't think I won't. I have a whole bundle of rope waiting in the bed of the truck." Sara hated to be pin down to anything. When she wrestled with her brothers she would absolutely lose it if they had her pinned longer than she wanted. Sara knew that she had been defeated, so she made her promise to Darry.
"Please put me down? I promise I won't run away from you." Darry barely could hear Sara's promise for she was muttering so.
"Again." He insisted.
"I promise I won't run away from you." She said again with a stronger voice.
"Good." Darry answered placing Sara back on the ground. The two stood there just looking each other over without exchanging any more words. Sara finally plopped herself back down in front of the granite headstone. "Here, I think you may have dropped these?" Darry reached forward to show her the wild flowers that he had picked at Wilson's field. Sara reluctantly reached for them and took them from him.
"I picked them for Momma." Sara said sadly placing them at the base of the headstone.
"I figured as much. You must of dropped them when you were dodging the drag racers huh?"
"Tim told ya?"
"Yup, did you honestly think that he wouldn't? You know I'm not one bit happy to find out that you refuse to go with him? What were you thinking Sara?" Darry couldn't resist starting in on her, he wanted answers and wanted them now. Sara couldn't answer Darry; actually it was more that she didn't want to answer Darry, so she just shrugged her shoulders. "That's not an answer Sara." Darry paced in a small circle and then stopped and looked back down at her. "What would possess you to ride your bike 9 miles to come sit in the cemetery by yourself? If you wanted to come visit all you had to do was ask. But to just take off without telling anyone is wrong, and you know that. And don't even try to sit here and tell me otherwise."
"I wasn't by myself, Myles was here with me." Sara knew that Darry would consider this back talking, but it was the truth. "He was right over there trimming shrubs. He shared his lunch with me, and showed me where Momma and Dadda were. He was real nice. He knew you, Sodapop and Ponyboy too."
Darry was looking all around the cemetery and there wasn't a soul in the whole place besides him and Sara. "Sara, there's no one here. And we don't know any Myles. You must of dreamt it." Darry corrected.
"He knew you, Darry. He talked to me. He was real, I didn't dream it."
"Well, there's no one here, and if there was I'm pretty sure they would of insisted on bringing you home. Now get up and grab your book bag, I'm taking you home. The boys will be waiting for us. You had them all scared out of their minds." Darry bent down and picked up her bike, as he tried to push it he realized that it was pretty mangled. "Wow, Parker really did a number on this. How'd you manage to ride the rest of the way from Wilson's field to here?"
"I didn't ride, I walked." Darry was shocked; no wonder the kid was sleeping when he found her. He reached down to help her up, but Sara shook his arm off.
"Sara, you promised." Darry warned.
"No, I promised not to run. Besides I can't leave yet." Sara responded in a low voice.
"Yes, you are! Now I've had just about enough of this. And if I tell you to do something, you best be doing it!"
"I can't Darry, they haven't come back yet? They haven't answered me." Sara's voice cracked.
"What are you talking about, haven't come back yet?" Darry couldn't believe he was actually standing here listening to this nonsense right now. What he should be doing is dragging her ass back to the truck so that they could get to the house by quarter passed three.
"Momma and Dadda." She said softly.
"What are you talking about?" Darry asked trying to suppress his anger and frustrations.
"I can't go back with you yet, not until I hear from Momma and Dadda."
Darry let out a sigh, "Sara, we've been over this a hundred times now. Momma and Dadda aren't gonna talk to you. You can talk to them, but they can't talk back anymore. So whatever you're waiting for, it's not gonna happen. So get up and get in the truck." Darry's blood was starting to boil with anger as his sister sat here and disobeyed coming with him.
"But Darry, I told them that I was going to wait right here until they were ready to answer me. If I leave now before they come, how will I know what they said?"
"Well, they aren't gonna answer you, trust me I've tried, and it just doesn't work that way. Now a lot of people have been out looking for you, so don't make me have to tell you again. I think you've caused enough trouble in the last 24 hours that you don't need to add anything else to the list." Darry watched as Sara didn't move an inch. He waited and when Sara still hadn't move, Darry knew that he was going to have to get her attention somehow, so he shouted, "NOW, Sara." His voices practically echo throughout the empty cemetery. Sara slightly jumped out of her skin, due to the deepness, and forcefulness of Darry's demand. Sara sat there very still for a minute contemplating what she should do until she swore she heard a voice whispering around her.
"Sara, do as Darry asks. Go home to your brothers." A male's voice was heard in Sara's ears. Sara started swiveling her head back and forth trying to figure out where the voice was coming from. She turned to Darry who was still standing there with her bike by his side looking very peeved at the moment.
"Did you hear that?" Sara asked him.
"Yeah, it's me getting angry, now get moving to the truck Sara. I have no patience for this right now."
"No Darry, I heard someone tell me to do as you asked. He told me to go home to my brothers." Sara spoke as she got up.
"Good, listen to it, because they know what is best for you! Come on!" Sara looked around again, trying to see if it was Myles, but she couldn't see him. Darry moved over and placed one hand on her back and started to escort her to the truck. Sara made the choice to go willingly, but her head continued to rotate from side to side trying to figure out where the voice came from. She was almost certain that it was Myles. Darry lifted Sara's bike and put it in the bed of the truck and watched as Sara was still looking around trying to find someone. Darry watched with wariness on his face. What was going on with his sister? He walked swiftly towards her and spoke harshly, "Get in." He said as he opened her door to prompt her to climb on up. Sara slipped up into the seat and watched as Darry closed her door. She watched him walk around the front of the truck and then up in on his side. He started the truck up with a roar and placed it into first gear. Darry slowly pulled away from the cemetery while watching his sister sit still and quiet while looking out her window. As he approached the main road he looked over to Sara who was waving to something out her window. He wasn't sure if she was waving to their parents, or perhaps someone else. Darry let his eyes wander up to his rear view mirror where he saw absolutely nothing. He was secretively hoping that he would see someone or at least something, but nothing. Darry didn't mean to say it out loud, but it kind of just slipped, and it was too late to take it back now. "I swear I'm making an appointment first thing Monday morning for you to go see the doctor. First the not sleeping, then you're behaving totally erratic and now you're seeing and hearing people that aren't there. Jesus, Sara, what has happened to you?" Sara didn't appreciate what Darry was saying, especially about the doctor's so she just continued to sit silent and watch the scenery pass her by. As they moved closer to home, Sara put her hand into her pocket of her pants and felt something. She carefully pulled it out and looked down to see what the foreign object was that she had just retrieved. There in her hand was the white hankie that Myles had given her to wipe her tears away with earlier. Sara let a very small grin come to her face but quickly erased it when Darry flashed her a disappointing look. It only took Darry about 10 minutes to get back home. He was running about 15 minutes behind what he told the boys to meet him by. He pulled into the driveway and noticed that Two-Bit's and Steve's cars were already parked out on the road. Once the truck had come to a complete stop he looked over at Sara who still sat silent and still. Darry took the keys out of the ignition and started to open his door when he noticed that Sara was not following behind him. He crocked his head around towards her. "You coming in or what?" Darry noticed that Sara just shook her head from side to side. "Well, you can't hide out here the whole night. This was a choice that you choose, Sara. Now you have to face the consequences and the people that you hurt." Sara just eyed Darry, but didn't say anything. When she still hadn't move to exit the door, Darry just gave in. He knew it was better for both of them if he calmed down some and let her be for a while "Fine, stay out here, but Sara, just remember you're not going to be able to avoid this forever." Darry got out of the truck and walked towards the house. The minute he stepped foot into the house the boys were all over her.
"You didn't find her?" Sodapop asked rushing toward him.
"No, I found her."
"Where is she then?" Pony questioned moving closer to see if she was coming in.
"In the truck." Darry motioned with his thumb.
"Why's she still in the truck? Is she ok? Where was she? Aren't ya gonna make her come in?"
"Whoa, Soda, slow down, one question at a time." Darry said flopping himself down in the armchair. "I don't know why she's not coming in. I don't know if she's ok. Physical she looks ok, but man I don't know what's gotten into her. I thought I was going to have to literally tie her down with some rope to get her to come home with me. I found her at the cemetery, sitting at Mom and Dad's gravesite. And no I'm not gonna make her come in, just yet anyway."
"What?" The boys all asked together.
"That's gotta be over 10 miles from here." Two-Bit added.
"Pretty close to that." Darry said running his hands through his hair and taking a deep breath.
"She made it there on her bike? Gosh, she must be exhausted. I don't even know if I could make it." Soda said while peeking out the window at the truck. "Why didn't she just wait and ask one of us to take her? I would of taken her after I was done work, ah, shit." Soda slapped his leg remembering that Steve probably really needed him back. "I need to get back to the station. I'm probably gonna work late to help Steve get caught up with everything. Don't hold dinner for me." Soda reached down for his DX hat when he let out a sigh. "I'm glad you found her, Dar. What made you check the cemetery?"
"Well actually Tim caught me before heading out and told me that he had passed her on 11. He was drag racing Louis Parker. Actually Parker ran over her bike. The back tire is pretty busted up. Can you believe that she walked from Wilson's field to the cemetery? One thing we can't take away from her is that she is determined." The boys all looked amazed but sat back down in their places and continued whatever they were doing before Darry entered the house.
"I'm outta here, Dar. What are ya gonna do about her?"
"I don't know Soda. I'll let her stay out there for a little while, and then I'll go get her, even if I have to drag her in here. But I need to cool down some before I go back out there and get her. It's better this way. I honestly feel like I could ring her neck right now."
"Good luck with that. I'll see ya later. Bye guys."
"Bye Soda." Pony, Two-Bit and Johnny replied.
Soda walked out the door and down the stairs. He couldn't see Sara from the yard, so he decided to head towards the truck to see if she was still in there. As he got closer he still couldn't see her. The passenger's side window was down and when he got to the door he could see that she was laying down across the bench seat. "What are you doing out here by your lonesome?" Sara didn't even lift her head up but just mumbled.
"Nothing."
"Well, you sure had me scared half to death you know that? If you wanted to go see Mom and Dad all you needed to do was ask. I would of taken you. It sure would of beat the shenanigans that you just pulled."
"Are you finished?" Sara asked
"Sara! I swear! Didn't I warn you last night and this morning to ditch this attitude? Don't you think you're in enough trouble? It's hard to be on your side when you're continuing to misbehave and being a brat. I'm trying to help you out here, but if you don't want it, then good luck with Darry on your own." Soda was ready to turn on his heels and head over to Steve's car when something stopped him. Instead he turned back towards the truck and folded his arms and leaned into the open window and watched his sister. Sara still hadn't made any eye contact with him yet. She had her face hiding in her arms facing down into the seat of the truck. As he stood there waiting to come up with something to say to her he thought he heard her sob. He started studying her back, and could tell by the way it was moving that she was in fact crying. At first he was like, good. At least he was getting through to her, that she was thinking about all the grief she has caused her lately, but then he thought about it again, and decided that he wasn't just gonna let her lay out here and cry. He stepped away from the door and opened it wide. He jumped on up and tapped her leg to get her to move over. When he did this, he wasn't expecting the action that came from Sara next, for she bolted right up and threw herself into his chest. He could clearly see the tears falling from her eyes, the hurt and the angst in her face. Soda wrapped his arms around his little sister and sat there just holding her tight. He needed it just as much as she needed it.
"Oh, Soda, help me! Help me get back to my normal self. I don't know what has gotten into me. Darry thinks I'm going crazy."
"No, he doesn't" Soda wasn't sure why she would say such thing. Soda knew that no matter how mad Darry was at her, he would never say that to her. Or he hoped it anyway.
"Yes he did, on the way home. He said he's making me a doctor's appointment because I'm not sleeping, or eating, misbehaving and seeing people and hearing people that aren't there." Soda was surprised he understood everything Sara was saying through her mumbles and sobs.
"Sara, he was gonna make you an appointment anyways. Mrs. Roberts wanted him to because you're not looking so good these days, and because you haven't been eating or sleeping. It has nothing to do with you being crazy. This has to do with you getting lost. You're still scared about that aren't you? Don't even try to lie to me either Sara, because Steve already gave up your secret." Sara just shook her head up in down in agreement. "Why? Why didn't you tell me? Sara, you know I always listen when you have a problem. Why have you been trying to hide it? I'm not a mind reader, none of us are. Darry and I asked you I don't know how many times what was bugging you and you always said you were fine, but you're not. I want you to tell me now what is going on with you."
"I was afraid to. I was afraid you would be disappointed in me, afraid that you'd get upset with me." Sara's voice dropped off and she whispered the last part, "I was afraid that you wouldn't trust me anymore. That you guys wouldn't never take me with you anymore if I told you. I know Darry didn't want me to go to Pony's meet, but he took a chance and took me anyway and look what happened. I guess that's why I got so mad when Darry wouldn't let me go to the racers last night, because it was proving that I was right."
"Sara, you didn't get lost on purpose. It was my fault you got lost, and I'll have to carry that guilt around with me for the rest of my life. But one thing is for sure, is that I would never get mad or upset at you for telling me that you're scared. Promise me that you'll never keep secrets like this again. Promise me that you'll come to me, or Darry or anyone of the gang if something is scaring you." Soda was waiting but when Sara had no reaction he continued with his little speech. "I'm glad that you told Steve, not sure why you picked Steve to tell, but next time don't make deals with him. Oh, Sara." Soda started caressing Sara's arm, for she still had a hold of him. "I'm sorry that I let you down. That I didn't press it out of you sooner, I'm sorry that it might of seemed like you couldn't of told me. You know I love you more than anything, right?" Soda tucked his head down so that he could try to get a look at Sara underneath her ball cap. He was having trouble so he took the bill of the cap and pulled it up in the air. He now could clearly see her whole face. He smiled and she returned a small grin, but when she spoke Soda knew that things were a little better than it was 5 minutes ago.
"More than Sandy?" Sara asked with a sly grin on her face. Soda let out a small chuckle.
"Yes, Sara, I love you more than Sandy." Now Soda might have been telling a little white lie himself, but he knew that it was what he needed to say at that moment to help his little sister.
"Good."
"Why don't you go on inside now? I do believe that you have a mess that needs to be cleaned up." Soda said raising his eyebrow." Sara let out a sigh and shook her head in agreement. Sodapop slid down from the seat and motioned for Sara to follow. She grabbed her book bag from the floorboard and followed Soda out the door. Soda slammed the door shut and bent down and placed a kiss on top of the ball cap. "Nice ball cap by the way. Don't forget to return it back to where you found it. I've gotta go back to work and help Steve finish up. I'll be home later tonight. We'll spend the night hanging together just us. That's if Darry hasn't strangled you by then, how's that sound?" Sara let a wide grin pull at her lips.
"I'd like that."
"Good, now get on in there before Darry drags you in." Sodapop moved towards Steve's car but watched his sister until she was opening the front door of their house. Once she was in, Soda pulled away and headed for the DX to help finish up the cars that he left earlier.
Sara was a little nervous to enter the house by herself, but Sodapop had given her the courage and a job to do, so she wouldn't have to hang around her two other brothers and their friends. As she opened the screen door all eyes seemed to be on her which made her feel very uncomfortable. "Well, looked what the cat dragged in?" Two-Bit joked. Sara moved on passed everyone without saying one single word right on into the kitchen. She placed her book bag down on the kitchen table and withdrew her lunchbox. She opened it to retrieve the sandwich that she hadn't eaten and the chips. She placed the chips on the counter and the sandwich into the refrigerator for someone else to eat later. She then took her empty thermos and twisted the cover off and ran some hot water and dish detergent into it. She left it there to soak and proceeded to gather up her book bag and moved on towards her room. As she passed the table she lifted her head and peeked into the living room where she meet Darry's eyes, he had been watching her like a hawk ever since she had come through the door. Neither said anything and Sara just dropped her head again and moseyed on towards her room. When she reached her room Sara let out a moan for she had forgotten what a mess she had left everything. She knew that she best be picking it up right away. She started with her rug, for most of that could go back in her book bag she thought, so not to hard of a job. She unbuckled her book bag and took Mr. Bear out and placed him on her bed, then she started loading up her pencils and crayons into her bag. She then moved her library book off to the side to look at later, and piled up some of here papers and set them aside. But as she was cleaning the rug her heart fell to the ground. Where was the flier that Ms. Martin had handed out? She looked all around the room and went through the pile of graded papers again and she still couldn't find it. She had learned her lesson about leaving things lying around that she didn't want her brothers seeing. So why had she left it out in clear sight? Oh well Sara thought. Not much she could do about it now. The only thing she could do was just hope that one of her brothers hadn't gotten a hold of it, and that it was just missed placed for now. Sara moved over and turned her record player on while she continued to clean up the rest of the mess. She found some empty slots in her bookcase for most of the books, and for the ones that didn't fit she stuffed them in the back of her closet. She also noticed that her bed seemed all messed up; she wondered how it got that way because she clearly remembers throwing it together this morning. But she threw it together again and then settled down on the floor leaning up against the bed frame. The anticipation of when Darry was gonna come in to yell at her some more was eating her alive. She sat there for a while contemplating on what and how to explain everything but it just kept getting all jumbled up in her mind. She needed to clear her head, and Darry never said that she had to go to her room and stay there, so she got up and walked to the backdoor and sat down on the steps. She noticed that the laundry hadn't been taken down yet, probably because of her, so she decided that she would try to make herself useful. She got up and walked over to the clothesline where she tried to help. Sara couldn't reach the pins to unhook the clothes, but instead she just started pulling on the bottom of them. It worked really well for things like jeans, towels, some shirts, but a few times she pulled so hard that the clothespins went flying into the air and landing on the grass. Thank goodness Pony mowed today for it made it easier to find them when they had landed. What Sara didn't know is why she was hunting down clothespins; she had a pair of eyes closely watching her from the backdoor. Darry couldn't help by smile as he watched his little sister chase down flying clothespins. He had to give her credit for she surely was bound and determined to get those clothes down from the line. The only thing was now she couldn't reach the remaining items on the line. Things like underwear, washcloths, hand towels, dish cloths and small items like those still hung there. Darry let out a little chuckle when he watched her jump up and down like a kangaroo trying to get a pair of her bobby socks off the line. After watching this go on for a bit, Darry finally came out, and it was the slam of the door that caught Sara's attention. Darry swiftly moved over and started to grab the remaining items and handed them to Sara to place in the laundry basket. After he got all the items down he walked over towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder, and it was then Sara thought for sure the yelling was going to happen, but to her surprise, Darry just motion to the house.
"Come, dinner's almost ready, then after dinner, tub. Got it?" Sara shook her head, but as she walked back into the house with Darry she still wondered when the talk was gonna happened, she kind of wished it would be sooner, so they could just get it out of the way, but something told her that Darry had other plans.